swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 11:47:32 GMT -5
He used the divorce papers from my first marriage, changed them, and used them. The continued tax returns was the legal document I had to have. The continuance of this story is I look at someone across the bfst table every morning that did and continues to do the reprehensible thing to two human beings and then brags about it to his buddies. It comes back to me on the golf course. The desk attendant at the club tells me he signed in and left to go have his affair. I told those dowagers on the gc that ow was a gnat then I changed the subject to insect spray. One dowager called the pd that I had threatened the ow. Of course, they had to check it out. Way to get their names on the blotter as bullies. His credibility and persuasion are so good, he even convinced my DD, who had been through SOs affairs, that I was delusional. She told me he was with her and her family even though she lives in another town. My one family ally is a GD. Don't preach to the choir until you have robed up for 22 yrs. The original divorce papers should be on file at the County Clerk's Office. He can't change them, he can only change a copy.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 11:48:59 GMT -5
And what government official would accept a copy? Heck, you need notarized copies at the DMV for crying out loud!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 11:49:31 GMT -5
You're still with him? I got that out her post too, not a chance he'd still be in MY house, unless I had plans to poison him. (ONLY KIDDING, DON'T REPORT ME TO ANYONE!!!)
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 20, 2011 11:50:15 GMT -5
You're still with him? I got that out her post too, not a chance he'd still be in MY house, unless I had plans to poison him. (ONLY KIDDING, DON'T REPORT ME TO ANYONE!!!) Report you? I'd help!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 11:54:12 GMT -5
Thanks J!! It's always nice to know which friends you can count on.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jan 20, 2011 11:56:53 GMT -5
This message has been deleted.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:02:27 GMT -5
I refuse to give up the high ground. My home that I put all the money I had into, is not being abandoned unless I get everything. I refuse to even think of aligning with another person. I had to stare down our FA, attorney, her dad, their pastor at the FA office when she made a run at our assets. The attorney will charge him with fraud and he will be in prison if we divorce. His reputation is more important. She spent every dime he gave her that they were going to live on. I even told him the spendthrift had spent it all. A couple of other tidbits. I cannot support myself. DH is my line of defense from a stalker. I have 15 family members that will be impacted if we were to divorce. Several who have suffered from being cheated on. You have no idea what that does to a family. I will make the best of a bad situation but I have to take sleeping pills and live with anxiety of when he turns 59 1/2 so he can take his retirment funds and vanish. There are so many fundamentally wrong things here I don't even know where to start. Conspiracy theories, spite, stalkers, learned helplessness.........
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Post by kkyle on Jan 20, 2011 12:03:32 GMT -5
I agree JennML......I don't understand cheating either, just be single then you can do what you want when you want and with who you want, no questions asked? ? I don't get it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:04:42 GMT -5
My home that I put all the money I had into, is not being abandoned unless I get everything
Just me, but no home or amount of money would be worth having to take sleeping pills and living with anxiety till my husband is 59 1/2 years old.
That would be 21 more years I'd have to put up with that kind of crap.
I can't see being able to put up with the stuff you do for 21 years. I'd either commit sucide or be in jail for murder. There is no way I could grit my teeth that long.
Course by then my liver and kidneys would be shot from all the sleeping pills and goodness knows what state of mental health I would be in.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:06:37 GMT -5
You have 15 kids??
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kdamron
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Post by kdamron on Jan 20, 2011 12:25:47 GMT -5
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:28:54 GMT -5
It comes back to me on the golf course. The desk attendant at the club tells me he signed in and left to go have his affair.
Good grief no way I could stand to be the butt of the joke at the golf course.
How can you put up with your husband humilating you like that?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:29:42 GMT -5
It comes back to me on the golf course. The desk attendant at the club tells me he signed in and left to go have his affair. Good grief no way I could stand to be the butt of the joke at the golf course. How can you put up with your husband humilating you like that? She needs to save the house over her self worth.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:29:56 GMT -5
You come home and your dresser is covered with a blanket. Okay - I really don't get this. Why would your dresser be covered with a blanket? #huh# #huh# #huh# #huh# #huh# #rolleyes2# #rolleyes2# No idea but of all the goofy things I could answer, I'd say maybe they left some kind of stain and there wasn't time to do a proper clean up?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:30:23 GMT -5
I didn't get that either, but whatever. There were so many other wacky things in the post that I kind of ignored that one.......
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:31:03 GMT -5
She needs to save the house over her self worthArrange a golfing accident. Keep self worth and the house.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:32:26 GMT -5
I am going to guess to hide family member's pictures?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:33:05 GMT -5
I am going to guess to hide family member pictures? Why?! They can't see you fucking, and they can't tell your spouse.
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kdamron
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Post by kdamron on Jan 20, 2011 12:34:03 GMT -5
No idea but of all the goofy things I could answer, I'd say maybe they left some kind of stain and there wasn't time to do a proper clean up? I can't figure out how to box quotes!! and in reply...
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:35:21 GMT -5
kdamron, just the response I was looking for use the quote button at the top of the post or use [] around the word quote at the beginning and /quote at the end.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:36:56 GMT -5
Maybe she was IN the dresser hiding? DH and I joke when we are coming home early that the other better get their lover out of the closet before we come home.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 20, 2011 12:38:36 GMT -5
I refuse to give up the high ground. My home that I put all the money I had into, is not being abandoned unless I get everything. I refuse to even think of aligning with another person. I had to stare down our FA, attorney, her dad, their pastor at the FA office when she made a run at our assets. The attorney will charge him with fraud and he will be in prison if we divorce. His reputation is more important. She spent every dime he gave her that they were going to live on. I even told him the spendthrift had spent it all. A couple of other tidbits. I cannot support myself. DH is my line of defense from a stalker. I have 15 family members that will be impacted if we were to divorce. Several who have suffered from being cheated on. You have no idea what that does to a family. I will make the best of a bad situation but I have to take sleeping pills and live with anxiety of when he turns 59 1/2 so he can take his retirment funds and vanish. When he cheats and you don't know, it's his fault. When you find out and he continues to cheat because you won't leave him, you're equally to blame.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:41:19 GMT -5
The attorney will charge him with fraud and he will be in prison if we divorce. His reputation is more importantWell if the golf caddy knows about the affair I don't think his reputation is going to be tarnished that much more by divorce.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:44:10 GMT -5
The attorney will charge him with fraud and he will be in prison if we divorce. His reputation is more importantWell if the golf caddy knows about the affair I don't think his reputation is going to be tarnished that much more by divorce. I want to know what attorney has their own client charged with fraud..........
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 20, 2011 12:46:13 GMT -5
Artemis, you may very likely be buried in that high ground at some point; and I mean that literlally. If not in a case of domestic violence gone horribly bad, then death from the stress from all this.
I am going to say some things, based on professional expeience, not personal experience. I come from a criminal justice/law enforcement background. I saw far too many women like you come through the system; unwilling to move on because they thought, "it's my stuff, too, so why should I?" or they were financially tied to their SOs and felt they could not leave, or they had dependent family members and felt they were "letting others down" if things fell apart.
I don't know your entire situation, but while you sit on this high ground you are going nowhere. You are waiting for him to turn 59 1/2, get his money and go, and then what? The money is still spent, you still cannot support yourself, you are still the target of gossip at the club and now he is physically, as well as emotionally out the door. You've gained nothing, done nothing and spent the time protecting 15 other people who apparently don't care much about you or your situation.
If you have friends who care, it's time to find them, let them know what's going on, and reach out for help. Get serious about a divorce, take care of you (and any children from the marriage) and let the rest go.
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kdamron
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Post by kdamron on Jan 20, 2011 13:01:47 GMT -5
Thanks!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jan 20, 2011 13:06:44 GMT -5
I refuse to give up the high ground. My home that I put all the money I had into, is not being abandoned unless I get everything. I refuse to even think of aligning with another person. I had to stare down our FA, attorney, her dad, their pastor at the FA office when she made a run at our assets. The attorney will charge him with fraud and he will be in prison if we divorce. His reputation is more important. She spent every dime he gave her that they were going to live on. I even told him the spendthrift had spent it all. A couple of other tidbits. I cannot support myself. DH is my line of defense from a stalker. I have 15 family members that will be impacted if we were to divorce. Several who have suffered from being cheated on. You have no idea what that does to a family. I will make the best of a bad situation but I have to take sleeping pills and live with anxiety of when he turns 59 1/2 so he can take his retirment funds and vanish. When he cheats and you don't know, it's his fault. When you find out and he continues to cheat because you won't leave him, you're equally to blame. Totally agree with that J. What's a FA? I'm confused. Personally I'm not willing to die or suffer that much over a house however its your choice. I really don't understand how staying with a cheating spouse helps others in your family who have been cheated on too.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 13:08:02 GMT -5
I really don't understand how staying with a cheating spouse helps others in your family who have been cheated on too. Gives them hope that marriage can last? They don't have to relive their pain as they watch you divorce? That's all I got.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 13:09:02 GMT -5
Financial Advisor. And if it's a joint account, I'm not sure why you have to stare anyone down. Take half the money, set up your own account, and move out. Then file for maintenance. You have to scale down your life, but my self respect is worth it.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jan 20, 2011 13:10:54 GMT -5
You said you can not support yourself. Why? Sounds like you are physically able to go to the country club.
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