Thank you all.

[MittenKitten]

Oh and I am a complete failure at dinner time! Too many people to feed all being too picky!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 9, 2012 13:40:24 GMT -5 MittenKitten said:

Hey Beth, glad things seem to be going pretty well lately. I have been feeling more cheery lately (other then the bout of strep I contracted, although great for weight loss)

Keep chugging along girl, My mantra is Things WILL get easier, they have to or I will go stark raving mad.

Has your son been in speech therapy? What is the deal with his feet?

We were concerned about DS's speech. At his 2 yr. wbv, the doctor referred us to speech therapy. It turns out that the state does all speech evaluation for kids under 3. So we got someone to come and evaluate him. She gave me a stack of paperwork, which I never got around to reading and his speech started picking up on his own. But we'd set up a followup appt, which she cancelled due to snow in Jan.

And he's got weird/ugly toes. So I brought that up at his 1 yr. wbv. Dr. looked and basically said "You're right, he's got weird toes and it's above my paygrade" and sent us to an ortho. Who looked at him and said "he's got bunions, which I won't do anything about because they're just going to come back and he's got curly toes, which he may grow out of and he may need surgery. Come back in a year and we'll see how he's doing." I talked to a bunch of people who said they have curly toes and they're fine. And he's walking, jumping, running and climbing fine so I think they're going to tell us to monitor. Curly toe is when your toes grow in crooked and smoosh other toes around.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 9, 2012 13:41:52 GMT -5 MittenKitten said:

Oh and I am a complete failure at dinner time! Too many people to feed all being too picky!

DH is on a restricted diet. We're trying to integrate some of his food/meals into family dinners and eat as a family. We're coming off an extended period of me scarfing down whatever I could find whenever I had a moment, DH cooking and eating at the kitchen table with the laptop and the kids getting fries, pb&j, cheese, chicken patties, noodles and/or pizza in the living room in front of the tv.

So I've started the 3 bite rule for DD. We'll start it for DS once he hits 3 or so. She eats 3 bites and she can have something else (usually pb&j or cheese) instead. She's reacting more to change and asserting her independence than to not liking the food, when you get down to it. And you know how it goes, the food she loved yesterday and ate 3 helpings of, she won't touch with a 10 foot pole next time it's served.

[MittenKitten]

Dinner time is a struggle but we are working on it. I have DD and DS#1 eat so many pieces or bites of what I make. If they do that they get dessert, if they don't no dessert. I just want it not to be a struggle. DS#1 has NEVER eaten a piece of hamburger in any form and he is 8. At least it is a start. I would enjoy cooking more if I knew the kids would eat it without complaining. DS#1 has done the Ilove it one day and hate it the next. Makes me want to strangle him!

I never knew there was a term for those toes. They run in our family but not to the point where it looks odd or creates problems. Glad he is doing all he should be doing. Surgery for little kids is no fun for the parents! My DS#2 has had to go under anthesia twice in his life and between all the doctors visits and the stress of the surgery YUCK!

All states will do evaluations for speech and delays starting immediately after birth if needed, it is a federally mandated thing. The nice part is until he turns 3 they will come out to the home and do the services also (or where ever the kid will be if they are at DCP) DS#2 had thos services for one year before he moved to center based, but he has lots of issues.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had a talk with my sisters recently about eating habits of my kids, while we were in the hospital waiting for news on Dad (he's doing great by the way.) You know how it goes, you do a sort of idle conversation because silence isn't good in those circumstances. Well, somehow we got on the topic of what my kids eat. I don't think my kids have a particularly varied diet. We do a lot of cheese, pb, noodles in our house. We do other stuff, but that's pretty much the mainstay the last 6-12 months. But the kids DO eat some odd stuff, like plain Greek yogurt, couscous, pancakes, lots of fruit, veggies, tacos, baked beans, etc. Oh, and french fries. Well, my younger sister basically said my kids eat amazingly well in comparison to hers at those ages.

I lost it on Sat. night. Gave up on trying to get Keira into bed, dropped an F bomb at the top of my lungs and went in the basement to sort laundry and cried. DH was working in the office and at some point he came out and yelled at her for making me cry, which made me cry more. She came down by me and we hugged and then she said she knew something that would make me happy and ran and got her stuffed cat Figaro for me to hug. Got her tucked into bed and she stayed there this time.

Sunday was better. Dh needed to work most of the weekend. He's got notes he needs to write up for the new person. They're hiring someone to take over the time/attendance stuff that no one in their IT dept. wants to deal with.

My period did finally come (and go.) I think there's something hormonal that's bad for me happening the week or so before it actually comes. I'm reluctant to call it PMS because there's no cramps, no headache, no real/physical symptoms, just an extended sense of the blues/blahs. And since I was late this time, I spent longer than normal trying to cope the last couple of weeks. I'm feeling better today, now that I'm just about done for the month. I don't want to go back on bcp but I may have to. I'm starting to track my cycle, to see if there's something there or not.

[CarolinaKat]

[Wisconsin Beth]

The weekend went fairly well. Dh and I went out for dinner and stayed away until after the kids are down. Apparently Keira stalls for me but not so much DH or anyone else. So either I need to toughen up or leave during bedtime...

I had a drink of wine with dinner. I planned for it and took my pill in the morning. I didn't turn into a crying or angry mess either. ;D Sat. morning the kids when to the ILs as DH had a doctor appt. and we both wanted me there. The doctor wants him to avoid gluten and dairy but everything else is fair game. So that helps a lot with dinner stuff.

Today's going good. Dinner for me and the kids is in the crockpot (chicken with bb1 sauce, DH won't eat it due to the sauce); I've got a load of laundry in the dryer, one in the washer and kids stuff up next. I ate my salad for lunch and I'm about to eat my leftover endename as snack. Ok, I can't spell it. It's lightly salted soybeans, steamed in the pod. I had it at the restaurant on Friday night and brought the leftovers home.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Dinner burned in the crockpot and overcooked. I had ham and cheese, the kids had noodles, broccoli,

[MittenKitten]

Hey Beth! How is everything going?

Our vacation to Wilderness at Wisconsin Dells was a HUGE success. The kids had a blast, including my nonverbal autistic son. Seeing him fully engaged having a blast just warms my heart. DS#1 hung out with his cousin and stayed in their room across the hallway. DD also had a blast going down tube rides with me, family rides, all the water slides and the arcade. We had a kickass 2 bedroom suite with kitchen, dining room and living room with a murphy bed there that my mom slept on.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Good and bad. Right now, more good than bad.

That sounds like so much fun! DH is watching for groupon/social living/etc. deals for the Dells. I suspect that if we find them, we'll pass on the dates to the extended family and let the chips fall where they may regarding who comes and who doesn't. ;D

[Wisconsin Beth]

Ok, I'm venting or something.

I'm physically exhausted. And I'm tired of feeling guilty. I'm tired of working. I'm tired of being the chief cook, cleaner, etc. I'm tired of being lead in dealing with the kids. I'm tired of DH getting to eat meals in peace while I'm dealing with the kids. I'm tired of being worried about money. I'm tired of being bored on my job. I'm tired of grey weather. I'm tired of the cold.

I want blue skies and warm weather. I want DH to be healthy so he can parent more/better. I want to be happy again. I want to not bitch about my life all the time. I want to be the me I think I'm supposed to be and am currently not. I want someone else to deal with laundry and cooking for a while. I want my kids to not fight over my attention 0.0005 nanoseconds after I walk in the door (or they walk in the door)

God, I sound like a discontented silverplated bitch.

I love DH. I love the kids. I love them coming for hugs as soon as they see me and to tell me about their day/stuff.

Sigh. Ok, I'm going to do work now. Gonna get the transfers in and then work on fixing the PO/VAC/HO work codes so only Full Access people (i.e. me) can edit them.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm tired of DH getting to eat meals in peace while I'm dealing with the kids

I let Gwen bother DH. He will do 50 million things before dinner so I am usually the one dealing with Gwen while trying to eat my dinner.

So I stopped, I let her fling stuff on the floor to the dogs and I let her make a giant mess. When he bitched about it I told him I would like to eat my food hot once and awhile and since he doesn't seem bothered to help, I decided I didn't care too.

He REALLY does not like the mess, so he helps more now during dinnertime.

I want my kids to not fight over my attention 0.0005 nanoseconds after I walk in the door (or they walk in the door)

My mom and dad had the policy that we had to leave them alone for 10-15 minutes after they came home from work.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My MIL pointed out this morning that Caleb starts misbehaving when I walk in the door so he gets my attention. Another thing I feel guilty about. Motherhood is just another word for Guilt.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Don't hit me with my own 2x4 but when I was in counseling and I talked about not wanting to feel guilty anymore the therapist simply told me "don't". Guilt is a self manufactured emotion, we choose to allow others to make us feel guilty.

I know that sounds trite and believe me it is a lot harder to let go of guilt than it looks, but I ask myself what am I getting out of beating the crap out of myself for some of this stuff? Absolutely jack shit, that is what. It isn't like I get a gold medal for how well I can pound my self esteem into the dirt.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, it's hard to put into practice. And I need to call Liz.

[Chocolate Lover]

Beth. I have been keeping up (mostly) over here. Everyone feels like that some days. Don't let it make you feel guilty, just acknowledge it and keep putting one foot in front of the other because that isn't how you really really feel deep down.

Oh, and you said something about hesitating to call crazy moods PMS a few posts (and a week or so ago) back. I beg to differ, that's my #1 sign/symptom. Most of the time, except for a headache and extreme exhaustion one day, it's my only symptom. It sucks. I use Yaz to help keep mine under control because antidepressants didn't. It's not perfect but it's much better.

And I agree with DQ, if your DH can manage to go to work, he can surely manage to help you out at dinner time. Tell him he's going to. Or, if telling him you need help doesn't work, give him jobs as you're cooking or getting the kids plates together. I had to do that with mine for a while, just flat out boss him around.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, dinner time flat out sucks at our house right now.

[bean29]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now Beth. I can tell you that in no time at all your kids will be past this stage and they won't seem to need you at all. Then you will want this time back. DS is rarely home, next year he will be off to college. My Baby will be 15 in April.

I tell me Dog who is a bout 5 that he is my "Baby Boy" because my other boy is all grown up.

Hopefully some of the suggestions others made will be helpful. I still need to teach my kids how to do laundry. If I am home, no one in the house knows how to turn on the machine. The other day I found DH had put his Jeans in the Washing machine. It was a full load, so I added detergent and fabric softener and turned on the machine. When I moved the load to the dryer there was a few $$ in change on the bottom of the machine.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My Mom kept all money found in the washer. She had 3 kids with paper routes...

[Chocolate Lover]

Mar 1, 2012 12:04:03 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Yeah, dinner time flat out sucks at our house right now.

It does get better.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, people keep telling me that. And I keep thinking I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it turns out to be truck and I'm back to dodging in the dark again.

[Chocolate Lover]

Mar 1, 2012 12:58:55 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Yeah, people keep telling me that. And I keep thinking I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it turns out to be truck and I'm back to dodging in the dark again.

It really is true, dang tunnel does seem to stretch out unendingly though doesn't it?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yep. And you have to dodge cave-ins too.

[Chocolate Lover]

Cave ins, trains, trucks, strange animals, mutant underground people........

Yeah, it sucks.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 1, 2012 16:43:40 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Cave ins, trains, trucks, strange animals, mutant underground people........

Yeah, it sucks.

As long as the zombies stay away...

[Wisconsin Beth]

I called for an appt. just now. Got voicemail. Should get a call back in a little while - the receptionist doesn't get in for another 15 minutes.

I had a crying fit last night. I'm not sure the meds are still working. That or between ovulating and my period my hormones are so out of whack that the current does isn't enough. I dunno. I'm supposed to see my doctor for a 4 month followup, which I think is April. I'm likely going to be seeing her soon too.

I was soaking my feet last night and starting to relax a bit and then Keira came sobbing into the bathroom. She'd had a nightmare, poor kid and didn't want to go back to sleep in her room.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Have you visited an actual psychatrist or just a therapist? Reason I ask is because my counseler told me not all therapists/MDs are great at choosing anti-depressants. Psychatrists, that is all they do for a living. DH never took it up but she recommended he see one if he felt like his anti-depressants were no longer meeting his needs.

They usually don't do therapy, they evaluate and prescribe/monitor medication. You'd see one in addition to your therapist.

[MittenKitten]

Beth: Oh I SO feel your pain. My DF is not unhealthy but he can be pretty worthless at times. Try to take a half an hour for yourself, leave and have a coffee read a book whatever. I think about taking a weekend off and going someplace by myself but figure I will be bored out of my mind within 2 hours. Then of course with money tight you don't necessarily feel you can do that.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 2, 2012 12:22:24 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Have you visited an actual psychatrist or just a therapist? Reason I ask is because my counseler told me not all therapists/MDs are great at choosing anti-depressants. Psychatrists, that is all they do for a living. DH never took it up but she recommended he see one if he felt like his anti-depressants were no longer meeting his needs.

They usually don't do therapy, they evaluate and prescribe/monitor medication. You'd see one in addition to your therapist.

My doctor prescribed a generic of Zoloft for me and refered me to Liz. This was the first time I've ever been on an antidepressant so I'm figuring out a lot of this as I go along. I do need to go back to my doctor for a followup next month. I may go sooner.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 2, 2012 12:25:51 GMT -5 MittenKitten said:

Beth: Oh I SO feel your pain. My DF is not unhealthy but he can be pretty worthless at times. Try to take a half an hour for yourself, leave and have a coffee read a book whatever. I think about taking a weekend off and going someplace by myself but figure I will be bored out of my mind within 2 hours. Then of course with money tight you don't necessarily feel you can do that.

I'd probably sleep the entire time. I am trying to do little things that make me happy/smile.