Thank you all.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Didn't want to hijack the Anonomys notes thread. Read this book

What Shamu taught me about life, love, and marriage : lessons for people from animals and their trainers / Amy Sutherland.

It's gotten a lot of bad press because of the title and I originally scoffed at it. Then I read it.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Ok, thanks.

I just signed up for water aerobics. My sister talked Mom and me into signing up. DH will be dealing with bedtime without me 1 day a week starting mid April.

[moosmommy]

I hope everything starts looking up for you. Having children and working is stressful. I think we have all had our f-bomb days. I am sure it gets better but my DD is 4 and my DS is 12 (he is moderate to severely autistic so a lot more work than other 12 year olds) so I feel your pain. But I would let your hubby take over some of the work around the house. He can make dinners on the weekend or divide up the house chores to do. My husband and I started doing this because I felt very overwhelmed and under appreciated with very little help when it came to the kids. I think to be honest he just got use to me giving the baths, packing the bags, etc.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, there's a lot of that going on in our house too.

My younger sister was over on Sat. with her DD2. She swears it gets easier and that the best age with her kids is now. They're 11.5, 13ish and 15ish.

TMI here - my periods is here. So part of Thursday, Friday and Sat. was PMS. I guess it's good to know that. The weekend was odd. Parts of it were good, parts sucked. Keira's got a full on fear of the dark going on. Not sure where that came from or how to fix it. I put another light in her room last night. I think it helped.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I feel really good today. Not sure why but I'm not questioning it particularly. My period is just about over and I still need to call my doctor and check v-mail for a callback from Liz's scheduler.

I started a new 1000 piece puzzle last night. I got all the border done and started working on the inside pieces. I had about 1/2 of a bag of V-day M&Ms while I was sorting pieces too. So I'm staying out of the Losers thread...

Tonight we meet with Keira's teachers for a parent teacher conference. It's apparently that time of the year. We did the school stuff for her but we fucked up the dates so I'm not sure where she's going in fall. We may very well keep her there for another year and skip 4K altogether. She's getting 2+ hours of preschool at dcp and we may be better off waiting. I don't know. We'll know the end of the month what public school she gets. If it's a crappy one, we'll keep her at dcp and deal with the budget. If she somehow manages to get into the really good school, we'll send her there (but we likely won't know that until August.) If it's a so-so school, DH and I will have to talk about what's best for her.

Caleb's probably going to stay there. He's doing really well and now they've got more than 2 in the 2 year old room so they're starting age appropriate teaching instead of letting them hang out with the 3 year olds...

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feeling ok today. I need to take my vit. E and D. Ok, that's done.

I made progress on my puzzle last night. I finished up bedtime stuff with the kids and DH and just went downstairs and worked on it for over an hour. I need a different lamp because of the glare but it's manageable.

I folded 2 loads of towel this morning and started a load of kid stuff. Then had to strip DS's crib because he peed though everything. Sigh. So there's another pile of peed on wash waiting to get done.

[Wisconsin Beth]

So I see Liz on Tuesday.

Monday DH and I are both taking off and he's taking the kids to dcp. He asked about going out to lunch and I shot him down cold because he can only eat at 1 place. Now I'm thinking I should change my mind and go out to lunch with him. I can always go out to eat by myself a different day... I've got a gift card for a massage that I'm debating if I want to use too. Part of me just doesn't want to plan anything for Monday.

[MittenKitten]

Beth I am sure it gets difficult when DH will only eat at one place. If you need a day for you take it and don't feel guilty about not spending time with DH. This is about what YOU want to do. Use the massage! Why is your hubby such a picky eater? That must be hard when feeding the kids. Also you said that your DH has health issues, if you mentioned them I forgot. What issues does he have? (Ignore this if I am being too nosy)

Today I had physical therapy so they could assess what I need and give me a home program. Since I had DS#2's staff watching him and DD I went and had my hair cut (it's been close to a year now!) and a message. It felt wonderful! Easier to do that since the gal watching the kids was being paid. I may have to do that more often. My mom will help if I need her but the minute I want to do something for myself she gets weird. It is really aggrivating. So if she is watching the kids I feel like I have to do what I needed to do and get right home.

[wvugurl26]

MK I think her DH is doing no gluten, no dairy diet to see if it helps with health issues.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Go with him Beth. Then when he orders raw tacos you can laugh at the mental image of several EE women sticking them where the sun don't shine.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, he's on a gluten free, dairy free and soy free diet. With a bazillion supplements. And it's organic too. And no sugar (alternate natural sweeteners like agava or stevia are ok.)

I told him last night that I don't have a lot of sympathy for him anymore when he complains about a tummy ache from eating too much. I swear he complains about that 3-5 times a week. Um, honey, no one's forcing you to eat that much. Free will and all that. You know what you need to do, so either do (eat less at dinner) or stop whining about it afterwards.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I wouldn't have sympathy for him either. DH used to do the same thing and I told him there is this novel concept called "stopping when you are full", you might want to try it sometime.

I think it is good you said something. He really does need to be put on notice about his bratty behavior. I can imagine that sticking to his diet isn't easy but that doesn't give him the right to be a booger about it.

[wvugurl26]

Haha I am laughing over that image DQ.

Beth book the massage if you want. Or feel free to do nothing at all. I know some weekends it feels like I run and do stuff all weekend long and exhaust myself.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I never booked the massage. I ended up deciding I didn't want to schedule anything, I just wanted to be a lazy ass. And I was. It was glorious. I slept like a bear, ate like a pig, loved like a rabbit. And then had the tummyache of a dog, to keep the animal theme going...

I see Liz tonight. Mom's got the kids and is feeding them dinner and plans on having leftovers for me to mooch off her.

I'm feeling really good right now. DH and I talked yesterday about Easter, came to some tentative conclusions about it. We'll see how I'm feeling closer to Easter. If I melt down again, all bets are off though. We think we're going to swap out bedrooms at home soon. Caleb's ready to be a in a bed but I don't trust him with the space heater in his room. He likes to play with the buttons and it ends up being 87 degress or higher in there... My sister's got a twin bed for us. So we're thinking we're going to move into Caleb's room (it's the biggest of the 4 bedrooms) and then Caleb will move into the office and the office stuff will be dispersed throughout the house and into what's currently our room - which will become the playroom/office. We've got a TV mounted on the walls with Dish and a DVD player in there already. So paint the walls with either chalkboard paint or magnetic paint and get a rug and move the toys out of the living room. We've been talking about doing this for a while, now seems like a good time. We'd need to declutter a shitload though, paint and clean. And repair the closet doors. And I guess I need to do something about my "comic book closet" too.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oh and he DID end up eating the raw tacos for lunch.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I saw Liz last night. She really liked/thought it was funny that we're passing around Drama's 2x4 and the raw tacos episode. She said it sounds like I'm enjoying the kids more, which I'd have to agree with. And we talked about me and DH some. She agreed it probably was a good thing I didn't say to him what I was thinking during the downward spirals the last couple of months.

She also agreed that it sounds like my meds do need to be upped, that crying fits aren't good and that the 10 days that sucked so badly in Jan/Feb. shouldn't be happening. Yes, there are peaks and valleys but the valleys shouldn't be that low and that prolonged.

I rambled a bit about playing musical bedrooms at home and she let me. The only comment from her on that topic, that I recall, was something about it's a lot of work. And it is. There's a ton of sorting/purging/cleaning that will need to be done. So I think I'm going to move that topic to the Organizing thread, from which I've been AWOL for a while. Short version is that I think my starting place is the closet in Caleb's room. I've got about 10 boxes of comic books in there (sorted by title, issue # and bagged for some protection), from when I collected them. I need to determine what I'm willing to get rid of and determine if there's anything of value in those. If there's value, I'll try to sell the mess to a couple of comic book stores that I know of. If there's not, I'll either toss them or find an organization looking for stuff to send to the military overseas. I've sent comic books in the past. There are some comic books that I'm not willing to get rid of - my beloved Girl Genius, Promethea, and some other unique-ish stuff (a 6 issue title on Charles Darwin working on the Origin of Species, etc.) Ok, that wasn't short.

I also mentioned that if I can find the time, energy and desire to work two 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzles in 2 weeks that the "no time/no energy" to work out excuse no longer holds water. I got a new puzzle from my Mom's house last night and I'm going to make myself treadmill for a min. of 20 minutes before I can work on the puzzle at night, after the kids are in bed. I'm tired of looking/feeling fat. She thought it was good that I'm doing the puzzles (something I enjoy) and was non-committal on the excising thing although she did agree that my logic was reasonable.

Liz also said that her daughter, SIL and 17 month granddaughter have moved in with her and her husband. So she understands the little kid thing. She wanted to know how dcp stopped Caleb from tossing food on the floor - they sit by him at meals and gently remind him EVERY SINGLE TIME - which is why I'd suck at being dcp. I don't have that much patience. Because her GD is in the tossing food on the floor stage. Her dog loves it. I never realized just home much food we slobber on the floor, now that I don't have a dog cleaning up the floor before I get to it.

I did tell her that I'm feeling better right now and that I'd like to start working on stuff a. while I have the energy and b. so that it turns into a habit and the next time I spiral down I'll keep up with some of this stuff.

ETA - I see her again in 3 weeks, just after Easter.

[Wisconsin Beth]

And I see my doctor on Friday to discuss having my dosage increased.

[Wisconsin Beth]

It's a good thing I see the doctor today. I cried again last night, while listening to DS fuss and rattle/pound on the door before he crashed around 9pm.

[trytofindbalance]

Beth so sorry that you're not feeling well today.

I've got a little story that might give you a chuckle. We have 2 dogs and they both sleep in our bedroom (one in a crate and one on his bed). Anyway, my big dog must have had an upset stomach last night. I could have sworn I heard him throw up, while my DH was in the shower, but it was around 5am, pitch dark in the room and I thought maybe I had dreamed it. Anyway, about 10 minutes later DH steps into the bedroom from the bathroom and screams WHAT THE F@CK. He stepped right in a warm, mushy pile of dog puke. He can't stand any kind of mess, especially on himself and I heard him jump back in the shower to clean himself off and then clean up the floor...all while I pretended to be asleep. (Don't worry the dog got me back after he left for work, he threw up two more times and I had to clean it up that time). DH told me about if a few hours later while I was on my way to work and I had to suppress a chuckle. I have no idea why that made me laugh, but it did and I hope it lightens your mood to know that we all have those days.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Well, we upped my meds from 50 to 100. And she ordered a blood test to check my vitamin D levels. She also SWORE it gets better at bedtime. She's got kids of her own so she remembers these days and has a lot of sympathy for me.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks for the story. That's cute.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Ok, so I got the vitamin D test results - I'm at 34.3 and normal levels of vit. D range between 30-100. So I'm on the low end of normal. I've been taking a 2,000 IU does of vit. D fairly consistently the last 4-6 months so I wonder what my levels would have been without me doing that.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm feeling a lot better the last couple of days. I think the increased dosage of my meds AND the sunny gorgeous weather is helping.

[taz157]

Mar 21, 2012 8:12:51 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I'm feeling a lot better the last couple of days. I think the increased dosage of my meds AND the sunny gorgeous weather is helping.

Yeah!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm still tired but I think I was up with both kids last night. DD had a nightmare around midnight. I don't remember going in by DS but I DO remember thinking about sbcali while I was in by DS. Maybe it was a weird dream? I've been having a LOT of odd dreams lately.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Don't beat yourself up about the chore thing Beth.

Our marital therapist told us that marriage will NEVER be 50/50, it's impossible. Most of the time it will be like 60/40, 70/30 and even on some occassions 90/10.

What makes it a problem is if one partner is always on the 90% side, that is when resentment starts.

DH and I now don't focus on what is "fair" whoever does the chores is whoever has the time to do them. Some things are still unequal, DH does all the yardwork (he thinks I'll chop my foot off with the lawnmower, he's probably right! lol) and I did a lot of baby stuff because I breastfed Gwen.

What I would suggest instead of trying to divvy up the chores into what is "fair" is make a list of things that need to be done every day, then at least once a week, once a month etc.

Dishes need to be done pretty much every day, DH generally does them because he gets off at 2:30, so then when I get home I can go straight to cooking.

Both of us do laundry, it's whoever has the time to put in a load. Though I will admit sometimes we play chicken and wait to see who needs underwear first.

We try to avoid the "your chore/my chore" debate and avoid the "50/50" discussion at all possible because that is where resentment starts to grow. We focus more on trying to shoulder equal amounts of work around the house.

It balances itself out if we really choose to examine it. He does 100% of the yard work, I take care of 100% of the dusting. Both of us are working to keep the house maintained.

[MittenKitten]

beth: I haven't had my D levels checked but I take 5000 IUs during the winter. I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and become a different person every winter. Wish I had the money to go on vacation someplace sunny every Jan but alas we do not.

When DF was unemployed he did the joke but not really thing about me going back to work. I was like yeah right, then I get to do everything around here, everything for our special needs son with the county, school, therapists AND work. NOPE not happening. I knew that was a recipe for disaster. He has been good about sweeping the floors every week with the new laminate floors. Other then that his jobs are the cat boxes and mowing the lawn. I do what feels like everything else. My home is never sparkling but I have learned to let go of that ideal.

Glad the meds are helping, and hopefully the weather will stay nice and that will help.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I stayed home on Friday by myself. Then spent the weekend home sick with a sick DH and 2 sick kids. Finally came back to work on Wed.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm feeling better physically although I still have a nasty cough and my voice sometimes shuts down on me. Mentally./emotionally, I'm doing better, I think. At least I didn't have a mental "F#$% you DH" moment this weekend. That's a good thing too.

[MittenKitten]

beth: Glad you are doing okay. We had a good weekend also. I have made a rule of no screen time from noon until 4 on weekends. That way it forces the kids to get out, also DH. We played whiffle ball in the backyard, played on the trampoline and DS#1 and DD are playing some creative games.

I find it so hard to do no screen time with a special needs son and then the gloomy winters but hey we did it as kids so mine will have to learn! DD is great with it though.