Thank you all.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I want to give you all a thank you and a big hug.

I started therapy on Sat. Had a good hour with therapist. She agrees with doctor that I'm depressed and is encouraging me to take baby steps to deal with stuff.

She also said it sounded like I knew what I needed to do and had a good grasp on things. I think a lot of that is from this board. You've all been supportive and it really helps knowing that you're here to "talk" to/vent to/share with/smack me when I need it. So thank you all for being here.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

Good for you! (and you're welcome ;D).

[turbothumper]

Much love and good juju coming your way!!!

[Jake 48]

[muttleynfelix]

[taz157]

Nov 21, 2011 10:22:36 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

And....

[Frugal Nurse]

Good for you for taking charge of your depression and doing what you need to do! The first step is the hardest. I wish you lots of luck in your treatment!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks everyone. I am trying. 2 of the suggestions were to take 5 minutes before I pick the kids up and just sit in the car and relax. 2nd was to meal plan at least 2 meals a week. I was trying (and failing most weeks) to do it before I grocery shopped.

And DH is getting more on board with going too, both for himself and for us.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff, I haven't really followed. But you are one of my favorite posters and I'm so happy that you are taking things in hand. At my ripe old age I've learned that you need to take care of yourself. Because if you don't, it is likely that nobody else will.

I hope things look up for you soon. Hugs Beth!

[mizbear]

You know where to find me if you need to rant.

[bring in the new year]

Beth, I'm so happy you're talking to someone.

I hope it gets better soon.

[diamonds]

Nov 21, 2011 16:06:04 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Thanks everyone. I am trying. 2 of the suggestions were to take 5 minutes before I pick the kids up and just sit in the car and relax. 2nd was to meal plan at least 2 meals a week. I was trying (and failing most weeks) to do it before I grocery shopped.

And DH is getting more on board with going too, both for himself and for us.

Sounds all positive to me. Nothing happens overnight, but you will see small changes and that will encourage you. I feel talking to someone objective is a good thing. All the best...

[Deleted]

Beth, it takes courage to admit something's not right somewhere. And more courage to actually seek help in figuring out what's what, when you need to. It's great that you've gotten the ball rolling. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing, and you CAN get there. Take care of yourself and don't forget to be good to you.

[el1504]

Beth - I am so glad you are getting the support you need. Happy to read your rants whenever you need them...

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks everyone. I go back in early Dec. and right now, it looks we're going to try for weekly sessions for now. My insurance is covering everything, at least until Jan. 1st. It's going to get ugly then but we'll deal with it then.

It's been an interesting short week. DH was/is home with the kids and it's SO much less stressful in the mornings. I got into work early so I'll be able to leave early too. I told DH I was going to take a few minutes to hit the library for me, before coming home (if it keeps me from buying books, he's onboard...)

[Tired Tess]

Beth, A college prof said not everyone needs therapy, but a good therapist won't hurt anyone. I hope you found a good fit and take care of yourself. God bless and all the best.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had a horrid early evening on Sunday. Monday the dog kept pooping in the house. She did it again this morning (4th time in about 25 hours) and after I cleaned it up, I bawled in the shower.

I don't wanna be responsible. I don't wanna be a parent or wife. I don't wanna have to budget. I don't wanna have to cook and clean. I don't wanna have to put my dog down. I wanna sleep. I wanna bake Christmas cookies. I want someone else to deal with the hard stuff for a change.

[Deleted]

[Tired Tess]

I feel just like you some days.
Keep going to therapy.
Keep taking it one moment at a time.
Keep your heart open to God's plan.
Wear comfy clothes.
Watch what you eat.
Be careful of the news.
Turn off the tv if you feel you're getting upset.
Put down the newspaper if you get a sinking feeling.
Take life in small quantities.
Enjoy music, that helps me the most.
Most of all keep in touch.

[mizbear]

HUGS

The best advice I can give is this- take a few minutes to not be the grown up.

[taz157]

Dec 14, 2011 0:24:10 GMT -5 mizbear said:

HUGS

The best advice I can give is this- take a few minutes to not be the grown up.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm better today (super busy at work yesterday and today) but I'm better. Cocoa's hasn't pooped in the house in over 24 hours so we're hoping it was just a bug or something.

We've got a babysitter for tonight and tomorrow night. We're going grocery and Christmas shopping tonight. Tomorrow is a class for DH. So someone else will be putting the kids to bed for us. And on Thursday, if I leave the clean laundry baskets in the living room, my Mom will fold them for me...

[3catslady]

Beth; I am glad I am not the only one going through this. I just want to sleep until every thing gets straightened out. And after three 8 oz bottles of coca cola, I find I have energy to spare. I didn't work today because I had off. I go in tomorrow and work with one of the better ladies and I don't know who else. The other person walked off the job after her mother was fired for lying on her application. I also find myself crying for any reason and just doing nothing. I started today just writing down anything that comes to mind. I also started a journal on my newest cat. After I get her done I am going to do my other three cats in the same book. This has always helped me get through anything. When my husband died unexpectedly 28 years ago, I had 12 cats to keep me and my son company. They helped a lot. It seems that animals always know how to comfort us.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My doctor keeps telling me that the fact that I'm sleeping like a rock at night is a really good sign. I always thought sleeping alot was a sign of depression but apparently insomnia is.

I'm having 2 side effects of the happy meds. 1. I sweat more and it's stinkier. and 2. I'm somewhat constipated, not enough for it to be a problem but definitely a change. My therapist says it's really good that I'm reacting well to the 1st happy med prescribed and with so few side effects. So I'm trying to be grateful for small things (and my sex drive hasn't changed either.)

There's a discussion going on the Pregnancy thread about household chores and DHs. It's interesting to read/see how other couples manage. I guess I feel DH and I are in the lower half of the pack for handling things but we're trying (most of the time.) We kinda talked about kids premarriage and post marriage but we never thought we'd have them (medical crap on both of us that neither of us was inclinded to get fixed) and then we had 2, 18 months apart. It's been hard on us individually, it's been hard on financially, it's been hard on us a couple and it's been hard on emotionally/mentally in adjusting. We love the kids and each other but the last 3+ years have been adjustment after adjustment after adjustment. And then toss in DH's dietary issues (don't ask, really) and we know why we're stressed to breaking.

[anciana]

Beth, I came here after I saw your message on our May thread. I was so busy this week and didn't even check the boards for days. I am glad to hear that Cocoa is doing better. And that you got babysitters to help out for a couple of evenings. And help with laundry. And that you and hubby got to do some Christmas shopping just the two of you (I swear, it's like a date for us).
I am sorry about the medicine side effects. I was told that most medicine will have some side effects (however unnoticeable at times) if they're working. Glad it's not too bad and you can deal with them. I also thought that sleeping a lot is a sign of depression, kind of like not wanting to deal with things. I guess I thought that insomnia would be associated with anxiety, but I really don't know.
I hope that you and hubby can keep talking about the stressors in your lives. I know I've been guilty at times of not telling my hubby what I needed or how I felt, so he couldn't really do much just trying to read my mind. While your kids are so young, the best one can do is to manage. I promise, things do get better when they get just a little bit older. And I know you've seen it already. Just keep plugging away and hang in there. Do what you need for yourself first! Or nobody might
Thank you for updating us and letting us be your friends

[MittenKitten]

Beth: I feel for you. In fact I am feeling many of the same things you are. I don't have the time or money to go to a doctor so I am just muddling through it. My youngest DD was a surprise, she is now 3. And yup I just want to have a temper trantrum and say "I don't want to be an adult, I don't want to always have to deal with an autistic child, I don't want to have to deal with picky eaters, I don't want to do laundry, clean or cook!"

BTW there is a depression thread over on the Healthy Lifestyles board here.

[Saving4Norway]

Although it has been 19 years ago, your posts make me remember it like it was yesterday. With lots of prayers and daily meds life is great now. It will be for you, too. I found strength in giving it all up to God and asking Him to help me through it.

Oh, and for the night sweats, it's unfortunate side effect but if that's the price I have to pay, I've learned to accept it.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sunday just sucked again. DH had an eye thing done on Friday and is supposed to stay out of all sunlight for 5 days. After the kids pulled the curtains on Sunday morning he just hid all day, leaving me to do everything. He's liable to get extreme sunburn until the stuff is out of his system, so I get why he was upset about the curtains.

Plus he got pissy over the kids watching tv at noon when the Packer game started. Curious George had 5 minutes to go. Does he have any idea how many kickoffs I"VE missed in the last 2 seaons? Said he wasn't going to come out of the bedroom and all I could think of was "Fuck you." which I couldn't say because the kids were there. I love football. I love my Green Bay Packers. So why do I always end up being the one to miss games due to the kids? And then DH gets snotty over not being able to watch kickoff on the big screen? Fuck you. I was actually bummed when he came out after I'd gotten the kids down and was trying to watch the game.

He did apologize Sunday night. And I told him a. he owes me one and b. I'm still resentful and trying to put it aside but it's hard.

Liz (my therapist) told me that we've had a lot of changes (2 unplanned pregnancies) and that I'm dealing with basically a chronic ill person, due to DH's health.

And I'm just tired of it all. I did get to bake cookies on Sat. DD helped me, which was interesting. The cut out cookies are mostly "harps" (Hearts for the rest of us) w/ a blob of green sugar/sprinkles dumped on them. But she had fun. I saved some of the dough for me to do, so I can get some large ones and do the jelly in the middle. Now that I've bitched, I'm going to get some work done. If I get enough done, maybe I can sneak out early. I won't be able to the rest of the week.

Anciana, it's good to have you here. Thank you for coming out of lurking mode. I know things will get better.

Mittenkitten, I'm sorry you're going though this and can't get help. I think the meds are the only reason I didn't cry yesterday. So I guess that's progress.

And DH does have an appt. with a doctor who's also doing the naturopath thing, so hopefully we'll get some answers/help on that front.

[anciana]

Beth, that totally sucks and on so many levels. I am so sorry you had such a crappy weekend. You are dealing with an awful lot, as your therapist said. But I have no words for your DH.
I seem to remember that he mentioned going to therapy himself, or both of you together. Is that still an option? Do you think that hearing about how you feel and what his behavior does to you in a somewhat controlled circumstances with a therapist there would be helpful?

Yes, I got out of the lurking mode, things move faster here. Lets see how it goes