Thank you all.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Had an interesting weekend up North. 

We rented a 3 bedroom cabin.  DH and I got the room with a double bed because DH and I are trying to keep the kids out of our bed when both of us are in it.  The kids got the room with the twin beds and Mom and Dad got the room with the double bed AND a twin in it.    Well, it kinda backfired in that one kid got scared and crawled into the twin bed in Mom and Dad's room and the other came looking for him/her (I"m not sure who did what, when here) and then crawled into the twin bed too.  I'd told the kids to go to Grandma in the morning for breakfast because Mom would probably be up doing coffee somewhere between 6-7am but I didn't really expect them to go looking for Grandma and Grandpa in the middle of the night! 

And Sat. they both slept all night in their own beds/room.  Which was nice because Mom and Dad left around 2pm on Sat. 

The restaurant attached to the resort was really good.  We ate dinner there on Friday and Sat. nights.  They had NO issues with DH's meals.  The waitstaff was really well trained on that - better than we get here in our City sometimes.  We left a HUGE tip on Friday night because between DS's crumbs and DD's spilling an entire glass of lemonade at dinner, we made a mess.  Sat. night I asked for their lemonade in to go cups to avoid more spills.  I learn, eventually. 

The cabin was bright and clean enough (cobwebs on the fireplace that I wiped off due to the kids) and Mom though the floor was poorly swept.  And while I'd have loved a tea kettle and another frying pan in the kitchen, it was stocked well enough for our purposes. 

At some point, C hurt his foot.  He was doing a lot of "oh my aching foot.  Oh my foot.  Oh my aching foot", similar to a Three Stooges routine with teeth and until bedtime on Sat. night, we thought he was just fooling around.  Nope.  Dh suggested Tylenol for him at bedtime and Sunday after we got home I ran C up to Urgent Care - sprained right foot.  If he's still bothered badly on Wed, I'm supposed to run him back in.  They did take xrays and the radiologist? will be in today to doublecheck the doctor's reading of them. 

The kids loved the indoor pool.  It went from 3.5 feet to 9 feet deep and over the entire weekend, they probably spent about 6 hours in it.  I was in the pool with them for some of the time, the rest of the time I was sitting at a table. 

The house is a total disaster right now.  There's laundry and dishes backed up and stuff just everywhere.  No soccer tonight for C but I'm taking him to Target to pick out invites and party stuff for his party in 2 weeks.  Lord help us. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Made some progress on stuff last night.  I had a list of stuff to do so I told DH and the kids I was going to make phone calls and went into my room and closed the door to do that.  About 10 minutes later, DH wanders in and shuts the door and snuggles up next to me on the bed.  Didn't ask me to move just plopped himself down, damn near on top of me.  And then said something about me hiding all the time.  I'm still not sure if he was joking or serious but it ticked me off.

Personally, I don't consider the time in the basement sorting dirty laundry or flipping loads around to be hiding. 
I don't consider me shoving stuff around in the basement to make room for all the camping gear or whatever to be hiding. 
I don't consider me cooking or cleaning in the kitchen (or any room really) to be hiding. 

After I left messages, I did switch to my Kindle and spent maybe 10 minutes (probably less) on it and yeah, that part can be considered hiding.  I'll grant anyone that point.  But considering I STILL can't spend more than a few minutes ALONE, which sometimes is the POINT of trying to hide, I don't buy his overall point. 

Sigh.  I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill with this. 

[ArchietheDragon]

Oct 14, 2015 9:17:41 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Made some progress on stuff last night.  I had a list of stuff to do so I told DH and the kids I was going to make phone calls and went into my room and closed the door to do that.  About 10 minutes later, DH wanders in and shuts the door and snuggles up next to me on the bed.  Didn't ask me to move just plopped himself down, damn near on top of me.  And then said something about me hiding all the time.  I'm still not sure if he was joking or serious but it ticked me off.

Personally, I don't consider the time in the basement sorting dirty laundry or flipping loads around to be hiding. 
I don't consider me shoving stuff around in the basement to make room for all the camping gear or whatever to be hiding. 
I don't consider me cooking or cleaning in the kitchen (or any room really) to be hiding. 

After I left messages, I did switch to my Kindle and spent maybe 10 minutes (probably less) on it and yeah, that part can be considered hiding.  I'll grant anyone that point.  But considering I STILL can't spend more than a few minutes ALONE, which sometimes is the POINT of trying to hide, I don't buy his overall point. 

Sigh.  I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill with this. 

men can't win.   Of course, women can't win either.  We live in a lose-lose society. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 14, 2015 10:01:06 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

I'd be a bit annoyed too... 

Personally, I don't consider the time in the basement sorting dirty laundry or flipping loads around to be hiding.
I don't consider me shoving stuff around in the basement to make room for all the camping gear or whatever to be hiding.
I don't consider me cooking or cleaning in the kitchen (or any room really) to be hiding.

This is when you tell DH that you aren't hiding,  that you are waiting for him to come help you and spend time with you 

I was too stunned by the comment. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 14, 2015 10:20:34 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Oct 14, 2015 9:17:41 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Made some progress on stuff last night.  I had a list of stuff to do so I told DH and the kids I was going to make phone calls and went into my room and closed the door to do that.  About 10 minutes later, DH wanders in and shuts the door and snuggles up next to me on the bed.  Didn't ask me to move just plopped himself down, damn near on top of me.  And then said something about me hiding all the time.  I'm still not sure if he was joking or serious but it ticked me off.

Personally, I don't consider the time in the basement sorting dirty laundry or flipping loads around to be hiding. 
I don't consider me shoving stuff around in the basement to make room for all the camping gear or whatever to be hiding. 
I don't consider me cooking or cleaning in the kitchen (or any room really) to be hiding. 

After I left messages, I did switch to my Kindle and spent maybe 10 minutes (probably less) on it and yeah, that part can be considered hiding.  I'll grant anyone that point.  But considering I STILL can't spend more than a few minutes ALONE, which sometimes is the POINT of trying to hide, I don't buy his overall point. 

Sigh.  I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill with this. 

men can't win.   Of course, women can't win either.  We live in a lose-lose society. 

Sigh.  Yes but there's losing and then feeling like you're always behind the 8 ball. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

My grandmother fractured her pelvis last week.  She's going to rehab and is giving up her apartment for assisted living in her retirement community. 

My BIL's wife had a TIA on Friday in her classroom (she teachs) and I guess is going back to work on Tuesday.  Not sure what's up there.

My Lt. had chest pains at work so she was taken to the hospital for testing.  No chest issues found.

The bell choir at church needs me back.  They're down to 4 people; 1 has back issues and another's spouse is needing a lot more care.  I want to play bells again.  But we just started the kids in religious ed and right now I need to be next to them in the pew during Mass.  K's 1st Communion will be May 1st.  I think we're going to do a combo party for 1st Communion and her b-day which is May 4th. 

My MIL made it pretty clear she's expecting someone other than herself to set up their 50 wedding anniversary for sometime in 2016.  DH thinks it's June 11th.  I made a suggestion for it that DH liked so I guess we're going to arrange for a dinner out with us, BIL and his family and MIL's 2 sisters. 

We're hosting 2 parties this weekend for C's 6th b-day.  Kid party on Sat. afternoon and family party on Sunday afternoon.  Sunday is actually trick or treat day here, which I didn't realize until after I set up the family party.  Oh well.  Kids are t-or-t ing on the 31st at my sister's anyway so they won't be too upset about missing it,  I hope. 

Started cleaning the house.  How come every time I clean a toilet, someone comes along and leaves some kind of poop trail within 24 hours?  I see the dentist again on Wed. Thurs. night is hair cuts for me and the kids too.  Fri. night is C's actually bday so we're going out to dinner.  Hmmm, I'm going to have less cleaning time that I thought I would...

[Wisconsin Beth]

I have a couple different prescription (and OTC) meds for pain/sleep from this year's adventures in health care.  It's pretty standard to say something like "take when you have 6-10 solid hours to devote to sleep"  I take them after the kids are down and depending on my levels of pain.  It never fails.  2-2.5 hours after I fall asleep, one of the kids comes looking for me.  I can take meds at 830pm and they come between 1030-11pm.  I take them at 10pm and they come around midnight-1am.  I take them at midnight (on weekends) and they come around 2am.  Without fail.    And since my kids are NOT the stealthy ninja types, even when they go to DH first, they STILL make enough noise or turn enough lights on to wake me up.  It's 50/50 on them getting DH first, by the way.  His side of the bed is closer to the door so they usually try to wake him up first.  And there is no way in hell I'm volunteering to change sides of the bed. 

Part of the issue is I fall asleep really quickly when I take the stuff but once I wake up in the middle of a dose, it takes me a long time to fall back asleep. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oh, the pain right now is from crown work.  I'm pretty sure it's the needles they stuck me with and not the actual tooth where the pain is from.  Plus I did some damage to the inside of my check when it was numb.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Why do the kids come in?  Are they having nightmares?  Do they want/need someone to go to the bathroom with them?  Are they sick?  Is there some sort of pattern that you can try and rework so they don't keep disturbing you?  

I know.  Easier said than done.  I am someone who snaps awake and functions well in the middle of the night when needed.  However, it would mean sleep time was over for me, so I absolutely empathize with you.  My kids woke for all the usual reasons.  And, YDS has always struggled with some anxiety just below the surface due to his food allergies which always reared its ugly head in the middle of the night.  He still needed some "power of positive thinking/amateur cognitive behavorial training" in the middle of the night as recently as 9th grade.  I spent a good chunk of their childhoods in a fog during the day.  Now, they go out on weekend nights and don't come home until midnight, 1, 2, 4 a.m. and I am awake waiting for them or jolted awake when they come up the stairs.  I am almost looking forward to them fully launching so that I can get some decent sleep, LOL.

I know that isn't much practical help, but wanted you to know you aren't alone.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 28, 2015 9:42:39 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Why do the kids come in?  Are they having nightmares?  Do they want/need someone to go to the bathroom with them?  Are they sick?  Is there some sort of pattern that you can try and rework so they don't keep disturbing you?  

I know.  Easier said than done.  I am someone who snaps awake and functions well in the middle of the night when needed.  However, it would mean sleep time was over for me, so I absolutely empathize with you.  My kids woke for all the usual reasons.  And, YDS has always struggled with some anxiety just below the surface due to his food allergies which always reared its ugly head in the middle of the night.  He still needed some "power of positive thinking/amateur cognitive behavorial training" in the middle of the night as recently as 9th grade.  I spent a good chunk of their childhoods in a fog during the day.  Now, they go out on weekend nights and don't come home until midnight, 1, 2, 4 a.m. and I am awake waiting for them or jolted awake when they come up the stairs.  I am almost looking forward to them fully launching so that I can get some decent sleep, LOL.

I know that isn't much practical help, but wanted you to know you aren't alone.  

With DS, it's wanting someone to go to the bathroom with him and then sit with him while he falls back asleep.  It's damn near every night.  We've pointed out, with assorted fanfare, the nights he's slept though by himself in his own bed so that he knows he CAN do it.  He just turned 6.  He also pushes the bedroom doors open with great force so they bang.  Which jolts me awake even when DH deals with him.   When I sleep on the couch, it's pretty common to find DS in bed with DH because at some point the need for sleep overtakes the ability to get up, walk him back to his room and resettle him there.  And vice versa for when DH takes the couch. 

With DD, it's more rare, maybe once every 3-4 weeks and it's nightmares.  Halloween is a hard time for her because of her general fears.  I spent the last 2 nights on the couch.  On Monday night, she came out at I don't remember when and I just told her she could go back to her room or sleep on the other end of the couch.  She opted for the couch.  She's 7.5. 

[zibazinski]

Wow. I need to tell my kids thank you for being so easy on me.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Last night DS got up 3-4 times and wanted Dad every single one.  I rolled over and let them be. 

We had a whopping 4 kids come trick or treating by us (Sat. afternoon 1-4pm)  It was rainy/misty most of the day.  Then we went to my sister's place, where they do nighttime trick or treating.  It's our 3rd year out there and DS finally figured out that this is a GOOD thing and stopped trailing his sister by 1/2 a house...

Fun story #1  I've got the radio on and U2's Bloody Sunday is on.  I'm singing along and after the repeated "how long much we sing this song?" DD pipes up from the backseat along the lines of "As long as you want to!"  DH and I both started laughing. 

Fun story #2  DS got to one house ahead of DD and they've got a bowl of suckers and a note that read something like "Take 2.  The dog is watching." and DD reads it to DS.  And then she points out "Mom, he's got more than 2!" "Mom, I have 3.  No, 4.  BUT THE DOG'S NOT BARKING OR ANYTHING!! So it's ok if I take more!" 

Fun story #3  Last week we had DS's b-day party and DNephew#3, when he overheard me asking if I could/should bring anything, he told me Mt. Dew and lots of candy.  So in shopping this week I grabbed an 8 pack of Dew and a couple more bags of candy.  Then we had a whole 4 kids come to the door so I hauled all the candy out there.  As we're leaving, my sister hands me back the unopened bags of candy, which included a 250 piece bag.  I hand that one off to my nephew, who hides it behind his back and go back to gathering up stuff to leave.  DD is watching this and trying to get my attention.  Finally "MOM, he's got the bag of candy behind his back!"  me "Yes, but if we mention about it, Auntie had to talk about it now.  She can pretend to ignore if we don't mention it." which resulted in an extremely puzzled little 7.5 year old; a laughing hysterically 17 year old and multiple adults trying to ignore the whole thing.  I'll probably get a suggestion next year from my sister to NOT bring out candy and soda.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm looking forward to Christmas. Even got a bunch of stuff online. Need to figure out what else I need to get and for whom.

[zibazinski]

I got my tree up, the wreath on the door and my holiday may out. Plus a few things around. I'll work on a bit more each day. I need to not let my kids down. DS will be moody bcuz his girlfriend is visiting her mother up north. DD will be whatever bcuz she's dumping her boyfriend which is awkward for the rest of us but not her it seems. So it looks like just the three of us.

[taz157]

Dec 3, 2015 6:07:20 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I got my tree up, the wreath on the door and my holiday may out. Plus a few things around. I'll work on a bit more each day. I need to not let my kids down. DS will be moody bcuz his girlfriend is visiting her mother up north. DD will be whatever bcuz she's dumping her boyfriend which is awkward for the rest of us but not her it seems. So it looks like just the three of us.

Your DD told you and her DB before she told the boyfriend? At least you don't have to worry about DD marrying the BF...

[zibazinski]

I know but I feel bad for him. She hasn't handled it well.  So he sure won't either. No one likes to get dumped, let alone before the holidays. This is, of course, after she got me to get a "family stocking" for him made. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm seeing Liz again on Sat.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Saw liz. She says I'm dealing with grief overlaying frustration with my home and work life.

My homework is to really think about going back on happy meds.

I see her the next 2 tuesdays.

[anciana]

Hey Beth, glad to hear that you saw Liz again, sounded like you needed something to happen/move and she's been good at figuring out how to help you.

I'm looking forward to winter solstice next week and days finally getting a bit longer. I know it'll be a while and that winter is just starting but feel like I can see an end after the New Years. Hang in there!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm doing better this week. Lots better. I even made moves toward dh last night. I think my hormones are not helping my emotional state because I started perking up after the first day of my period. I'm 45 and am wondering about premenopause symptoms. Mom doesn't remember when she started.

I'm trying to get a different job too. Short version is that a vacancy in my dept is coming and I want to interview for it. So I let my boss know and she's not doing anything until the appeal process is completed. So I'm using this time to improve my chances. There's a bit on the job hunting thread.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Saw liz again last night. I rambled for a bunch of the session. I go back on the 12th which is good because I should be pmsing around then and liz can evaluate that. That and bad sleep are about 95% certain triggers right now. Liz mentioned that one of the drug companies has a 2 week on, 2 week off routine specifically to counter pms and other systems. She thought it was Prozac.

[zibazinski]

I want to thank everyone who encouraged me to get married since it's what DH wanted. Then those who helped and supported me through his hand surgery that turned into an infection that turned into a four month hospital stay. Then went through my devastation when he was getting better then just up and died. Then the aftermath. Which I'm still dealing with. Only you all know my pain. No one else I can share it with that remotely understand. 2016 just has to be better. I can't wait for the holidays to be over.

[taz157]

((((Hugs)))) Beth and Zib.

[Anne_in_VA]

Hugs to both Zib and Beth.  I hope 2016 gets better for you.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Hugs Zib. 2016 will be better.

[seriousthistime]

I'm not a person who tends toward depression.  Even in the worst moments of my life I focused on work and trying to get enough sleep while dealing with the minutia/details of the worst moments, as needed. 

I am not an expert, but it seems to me that some problems are situational.  Zib, you are recently bereaved.  That takes time, but you know it will ease off with time.  Beth, you may be going through something with perimenopause, but maybe not.  Work, kids, and DH's issues are exhausting you too.

Seems to me you are two people on the board with similar symptoms caused by different situations.  Zib, yours is more acute right now but will dissipate somewhat with time.  Beth, if yours is hormonal (besides the exhaustion of having to take care of the others in your immediate family before you take care of yourself), a doctor can treat the underlying symptoms.  I am glad you are seeing Liz again.

Best to you both.  Here's to 2016.    <clink>  No telling what the year has in store for us, but at this point we can hope for the best. 

[NastyWoman]

Dec 24, 2015 8:55:00 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

Hugs to both Zib and Beth.  I hope 2016 gets better for you.

 lots, and lots of hugs for you

[zibazinski]

Blonde Granny too. She's been recently widowed as well. Makes me want tri jump in car and see someone who is walking on my shoes.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Christmas was good, overall. We just finished the third and final gathering. The kids made out like bandits this year. Dh did good. He wanted an Xbox one and we decided on the lego dimension expansion game. Excellent idea. The kids are loving it.
He got me a Steam link so I can play sid meier games again. We talking about where to put it. Originally we both were planning on the living room tv but with the Xbox there, I think dh and I will be scrambling for game time. So I'm toying with putting it in our room. Then we can both play our separate games.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Dear snowblower,
Thank you for not dying while I used and abused you with this storm.
Beth