Thank you all.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Tumbling teddies is tonight, 545-630pm. I'm taking both kids by myself. We'll see how this works... DH has a haircut at 530. My Mom's on board with coming next week if I need help with the 2 of them.

I'm so tired lately. My period should be here soon. I've been a witch the last 48 hours.

Wednesday was my MIL's bday. DD and I bought her a card when we hit Target. She signed it this morning - a mixture of capitals and lower case with some letters backwards. And in a moment of insanity, I told DD we'd bake a cake for MIL.

[Deleted]

Dec 13, 2011 20:06:58 GMT -5 Tired Tess said:

I feel just like you some days.
Keep going to therapy.
Keep taking it one moment at a time.
Keep your heart open to God's plan.
Wear comfy clothes.
Watch what you eat.
Be careful of the news.
Turn off the tv if you feel you're getting upset.
Put down the newspaper if you get a sinking feeling.
Take life in small quantities.
Enjoy music, that helps me the most.


Most of all keep in touch.

Hello, Tess.
I do, all those now.
Keep going to therapy.
I have been on many years, before. Just learn how to ask for help. ;D

[Deleted]

wis,

Hello.

I am just start reading page 1.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I've made a lot of progress in a year. I probably need to re-read this thread to see how far I've come.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2012 12:38:47 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I've made a lot of progress in a year. I probably need to re-read this thread to see how far I've come.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Part of me doesn't want to go back and re-read though. I don't want to risk getting sucked back down. Which may be an irrational fear but well, it's there.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Parts of the weekend rocked and parts sucked. Per usual I guess.

I didn't have to put the kids to bed on Friday night or Sat. night. that was awesome. Sunday night we did and it sucked.

I told DH he's going to have to start fixing a meal for all 4 of us 1 day a week. I just can't keep up with doing it 7 days a week. He said he would but he's not sure the kids will eat whatever he makes. So I think we're going to talk more about it and eventually just he'll have to deal with it. He made fish last night and had enough for me too. Which was nice. The kids got mashed potatoes and meatballs. Yeah, meal planning isn't going so well lately...

[Wisconsin Beth]

Shit. I don't know how to feel. I feel bad/sad/mad/relieved and thankful that I made better choices.

DH found out this morning that his cousin's stepdaughter's husband committed suicide over the weekend. He left behind 2 kids, one a newborn. And he's suspected of being involved in child porn. He was 25-30. I feel all sorts of mixed emotions - wanting to help J, wondering how badly he screwed up their older kid and J. Glad he's dead if he was doing child pron. I'm assuming he's got no insurance that pays out for a suicide, and no a long work history so what kind of benefits will J get?

[Works4me]

Social Security, SSI, Food Stamps, Medicaid, etc. That is what they are there for.

So sorry for the loss to your family. Sometimes it hits hard.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Funeral is Friday.

[Wisconsin Beth]

The family is Oshkosh is pretty tight. So J will have a support network (I think) of her parents, cousins, aunts/uncle and at least 1 grandparent. I'm waiting to see what DH wants/can do about Friday. He's swamped at work. And it turns out J's husband was 37, with time in the military. Although I guess J was his 2nd wife, which I hadn't realized.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Holy crap. DH got the scoop on this from his Mom this morning. So this is all 4th or 5th hand at this point...

J found the pron on their computer. She called the cops, called a lawyer and told her husband that she was filing for divorce on Monday. He committed suicide (in front of a hospital) that weekend. Neither J or any of her family are going to the funeral. Apparently a lot of HIS family are refusing to go to the funeral. His grandfather did the obit and is the one doing the funeral. His side is not going because he abused his daughter from 1st marriage. Apparently the abuse happened at his grandparents house. No one is defining abuse, so I don't know if it's actually molestation or just photos or what. Any of which is bad but there's degrees of horribleness in there.

Also, the obit requests no flowers but talks about a "memorial fund." Which I thought was oddly phrased because I was expecting to see something about a fund for the kids. But apparently we should send cards/money directly to J or her parents and NOT the funeral home so J gets it. I was going to send the card and check to the address on my Christmas card list but I think we'll send it to her parents, in care of; to be on the safe side.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Well, we didn't go to the funeral. J didn't go and didn't want any family to go. DH couldn't get off of work anyway. And her FB updates are pretty vehement against him and the sympathy cards she's been getting. So we'll send a "thinking of you" one instead.

I did take Friday off. I was going to clean and then said F it. I read, watched TV, surfed the net, and had a magnificant lazyass day. I felt so relaxed and some of it's carried over today.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Oct 6, 2012 16:44:28 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Well, we didn't go to the funeral. J didn't go and didn't want any family to go. DH couldn't get off of work anyway. And her FB updates are pretty vehement against him and the sympathy cards she's been getting. So we'll send a "thinking of you" one instead.

I did take Friday off. I was going to clean and then said F it. I read, watched TV, surfed the net, and had a magnificant lazyass day. I felt so relaxed and some of it's carried over today.

because you had a "Beth day"!!! WTG, girl!!! ;D

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks!

And DH agreed to play musical rooms! We're going to move into DS's room, DH is going into the office and the office/toyroom will be our current bedroom. And there's painting to do is 2 of the 3 rooms. I wonder if I can get this done before DS's b-day party on the 20th. He'll turn 3.

[seriousthistime]

Oct 4, 2012 8:22:00 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Holy crap. DH got the scoop on this from his Mom this morning. So this is all 4th or 5th hand at this point...

J found the pron on their computer. She called the cops, called a lawyer and told her husband that she was filing for divorce on Monday. He committed suicide (in front of a hospital) that weekend. Neither J or any of her family are going to the funeral. Apparently a lot of HIS family are refusing to go to the funeral. His grandfather did the obit and is the one doing the funeral. His side is not going because he abused his daughter from 1st marriage. Apparently the abuse happened at his grandparents house. No one is defining abuse, so I don't know if it's actually molestation or just photos or what. Any of which is bad but there's degrees of horribleness in there.

Also, the obit requests no flowers but talks about a "memorial fund." Which I thought was oddly phrased because I was expecting to see something about a fund for the kids. But apparently we should send cards/money directly to J or her parents and NOT the funeral home so J gets it. I was going to send the card and check to the address on my Christmas card list but I think we'll send it to her parents, in care of; to be on the safe side.

It's horrible to contemplate that you knew someone with such a big secret. I'm sure it's nothing compared to the shock and contempt that J has for her former husband though. Ugh. So sorry.

It's hearing stuff like this that makes me feel grateful for my very ordinary life. Housework, mowing/weeding, laundry, grocery shopping and all. My problems are small in comparison.

FWIW, I have been reading since the first post, not sure if I ever posted any responses or comments, but I am very impressed with the progress you've made, Beth.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, it's horrible. We didn't know him very well, heck we don't know J very well. But she's family. And I'm sure she'd kicking herself for missing red flags. I'm thinking I'll let DD pick out a card, which means it's NOT going to be a sympathy card and may very well end up being a Dora b-day card.... But it might amuse J.

Thanks. It's the happy pills and the therapy. They got me to a place where I can see what I need to do and have the energy (and focus, sort of ) to actually do them.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sunday afternoon I got bit by a dog on the back of my right hand. I'm right handed and everytime I wash my hands, I rub a bit too hard.

Tuesday afternoon I broke my foot. I moved a dresser and was moving clothes into the closet and wham! My foot went into the dresser. My 2nd toe (next to the baby toe) is still bruised and sore. Shoes hurt.

I did get rid of a bunch of stuff from the house this week - baby gear and 900+ comics are out. I started shredding stuff and overheated 2 shredders. Need to keep on working on that.

Work is, um, not good. We had a power surge and we're picking up the pieces. My boss is taking the worst of it as he's our system admin/server guy. But it's not pretty.

[seriousthistime]

Beth, I can't help with the dog bite or the toe injury. But for shredding I look around my community (banks and credit unions) for shredding trucks that come around occasionally. My credit union has shred events three times a year (after tax filing days, i.e., April 15, August 15 and October 15, which is due date, extended due date, and really extended due date). We can bring 5 boxes of documents to have loaded into their shredding truck. You drive up, they have people who come to your car and your stuff into a garbage bin, and you can watch as the garbage bin hooks into a conveyor that goes up the side of the truck and dumps it into the top of the shredding truck. Since this is what banks and medical facilities use to shred stuff, I trust them. I burned out a few shredders before I found these events and now I just save documents for these events.

As far as the hand and the foot, I can empathize if not offer advice. I am in agony now because after almost two courses of Invisaligns (the clear braces that slip over your teeth), I am wearing metal brackets and the inside of my gums is getting chewed up by the lower brackets. I am putting on wax, taking Aleve, using Anbesol, and using a Peroxyl rinse. And whenever anyone smiles and says, "You're wearing braces! Good for you!" I want to deck them. People at work are telling me I look like I'm in pain, and I am short-tempered. It is supposed to be for 4 months. I am ready to be done. I'm tired of eating mush and using a straw. Is it too much to ask that a weight loss will result from this agony?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Ouch. That sounds pretty miserable. I hope it's worth it when they come off.

[dakota4600]

Beth- For the toe if it is broken, buddy tape it to one next to it. It really does help. I've broken toes in similar way (several times playing soccer, twice on a dressser ;D and once on a exercise bike/clothes rack.)

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, bowling Sat. night was probably not one of my better actions... And Sunday my ankle was just toast by the end of the night. I finally sat down and iced the back of my ankle for a hefty chunk of the Packer game. It feels better today. But that hurts more than the toe!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. I got DH a card. He wants an expensive addon to his Vitamix so he's going to order that as a combo b-day/anniversary present. I think I'm getting flowers and chocolates, based on the conversation we had last night. ;D

No sitter available tonight so we won't be able to go to the Burn showing tonight. It's a 1 night thing so I'm kinda bummed but well, it happens. But we DO have a sitter tomorrow night as we have parent teacher conferences. So we're going out for drinks and dessert after that.

[taz157]

Happy Anniversary Beth and Mr. Beth!

Enjoy your flower and chocolates! ;D Also, hopefully the parent-teacher conferences put you and DH in a good mood so that you can enjoy the drinks and desserts afterwards.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks!

It's a 15 minute conference. She's only 4.5 and started school about 4-6 weeks ago. And we're not getting notes or anything so I'm assuming it's all good.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Her conference went well. We need to work on her letters and using German (it's a German Immersion school) in class by encouraging/reminding her that she should do that.

Caleb's 3 year b-day party is on Sat. Should be fun. And chaos. It's family only but that's still about 15-20 people. ;D

[Wisconsin Beth]

Had fun over the weekend. Cabe's party and then on Sunday we did the pumpkin farm. I completely lost my patience on both Sat. and Sun mornings, before the party and the farm trip. Not at/during either.

I've gained weight and have been having lots of heartburn the last month or so. I guess I need to cut back on all the crap I eat and the soda I've been drinking. But I don't wanna.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Caleb's 3 today. Well, this afternoon. And it's a miserably crappy day here. I want to go home and crawl under the covers except I won't make my overtime if I take vacation or comptime. Stupid new rules say that if we used VAC, CTU or SL, any overtime gets paid out at straight time instead of 1.5 time. I worked 1 hour late yesterday, expect to work at least 1.5 on Wed. and have to come in on the weekend for 2-3 hours. It's not a lot but it helps.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had my stupid health assessment today. Bitch, moan, whine.

DH made a very gentle comment about my weight over the weekend too.

[drivingaround]

Have you been attending sessions with Liz? My wife (who I mentioned a few pages ago started counseling) was going weekly then tapered off to bi-weekly and now monthly but isn't happy with it. She said it takes them 20 minutes to re-jive then only has 25 minutes left to work on whatever the session topic is. Do you experience this too? I recommended she jump right in at the start of the session but she said with the break she needs to re-comfort herself with her therapist and can't just sit down and start working on X.