murphath
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Post by murphath on Aug 10, 2012 11:33:03 GMT -5
Well, they can certainly be mean sometimes but in that can be some solid advice. Give it a try. If it gets nasty, you can always let it go and not respond.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 10, 2012 11:42:17 GMT -5
Yeah, I hang there, here and on EE. So they know me somewhat.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 13, 2012 8:27:55 GMT -5
DH did the budget for July over the weekend. We were over budget by like $550. On top of the $1200 he allocates for assorted stuff, including his supplements. God.  Caleb pooped in the potty chair on Sat. And now wants nothing to do with it. Sigh. Gotta love kids. I ran my comics to the store in town. He offered $50 for them. And flatout said I should sell them online. And to bag and board them so the corners stay in good shape. So I'm going to be consigning 1 title and eBaying a 2nd title. My online vendor won't touch the 2nd title as they consider it porn. DH requested a specific object for his b-day/anniversary gift. So he's going to get that and I'm off the hook for trying to finance a weekend away. And we talked about doing the Dells, in the next 6 months or so. He agreed. I suggested we use money from what was the vacation fund which was turned into the deductible/copay fund when our health insurance changed in Jan. We've got a $75 autotransfer set up for that account, from my biweekly check. I'd like to separate the 2 but need to discuss with DH. Maybe in 2013. Anyway, he thought that was doable. So I think he's going to start watching for Groupon/Living Social deals again for that area. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 16, 2012 10:47:52 GMT -5
Where did the summer go? We're going to my parents' trailer this weekend. I'm caught up on laundry (last load needs to be folded and put away) and we did a meal plan. So tonight I'm going to pack up the kids stuff and I'm taking a couple of hours off on Friday to load the minivan and pack the cooler. DH is leaving work 30 minutes early so once he gets home, he can finish off the cooler, change clothes and we'll go get the kids and head up. it's a 3+ hour drive and the current plan is to make sure DD pees before we leave, change DS and then hit McD's and let the kids eat in the car. It's supposed to be cool but mostly clear up there. I have to take my work laptop though and check for password resets. Oh well. Could be worse. It's likely to be a total of an hour or so. My sister's agreed to come and help me clean out my closet soon. I need to pick a day. She'll keep my focused and make me take it to Goodwill so it's out of the house.  |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 20, 2012 11:20:22 GMT -5
Some of the comments in Home 6's "I'm so screwed" thread are hitting home. So I'm letting them percolate.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 20, 2012 11:21:19 GMT -5
Yeah that's a really sad thread.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 20, 2012 11:36:15 GMT -5
Yeah that's a really sad thread. Yeah, I'm familiar with a lot of her backstory. Not all of it, but a chunk of it. I see some of me and my relationship with DH in hers. I do not like conflict. And while I don't think I go out of my way to avoid it, I spent some time this weekend biting my tongue because I didn't want to fight/argue with DH, esp. in front of the kids in the car or in a cramped trailer. So DH got a few mental "F@#$ yous" this weekend. We recognize that we need to figure out a better way to handle frustration/anger. Right now, we build on each other's instead of telling each other to grow up and letting it drop. It's not good for us and it's not good for the kids. And I'd like him to start thinking about why he gets so frustrated on vacation. I suspect he's got unreal expectations and he needs to either figure out how to lower those expectations or determine what needs to happen for them to be met. And then work with me to make any/all adjustments in our life so it works. If that makes sense. And I started the consignment process for 2 comics books. Yay me. |
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 20, 2012 11:51:50 GMT -5
Yeah that's a really sad thread. Yeah, I'm familiar with a lot of her backstory. Not all of it, but a chunk of it. I see some of me and my relationship with DH in hers. I do not like conflict. And while I don't think I go out of my way to avoid it, I spent some time this weekend biting my tongue because I didn't want to fight/argue with DH, esp. in front of the kids in the car or in a cramped trailer. So DH got a few mental "F@#$ yous" this weekend. We recognize that we need to figure out a better way to handle frustration/anger. Right now, we build on each other's instead of telling each other to grow up and letting it drop. It's not good for us and it's not good for the kids. And I'd like him to start thinking about why he gets so frustrated on vacation. I suspect he's got unreal expectations and he needs to either figure out how to lower those expectations or determine what needs to happen for them to be met. And then work with me to make any/all adjustments in our life so it works. If that makes sense. And I started the consignment process for 2 comics books. Yay me.  |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 20, 2012 12:26:07 GMT -5
Thanks Sug.
I'm doing better. I'm taking off on Friday and I'm debating if I want to use my gift card for a massage or not. I've got crap to do around the house, but there's always something to do. Maybe I'll call my bff and see if she's off. If so, maybe we can hang out. It's been forever since I talked to her.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 20, 2012 12:30:47 GMT -5
Do something for yourself, we all need to do that every now and again. Take care of you.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 20, 2012 12:46:59 GMT -5
I'm trying. Some days it's easier than others.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 20, 2012 13:50:11 GMT -5
I'm trying. Some days it's easier than others. Oh yeah I know. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 21, 2012 8:27:13 GMT -5
And I'd like him to start thinking about why he gets so frustrated on vacation. I suspect he's got unreal expectations and he needs to either figure out how to lower those expectations or determine what needs to happen for them to be met. And then work with me to make any/all adjustments in our life so it works. If that makes sense. I mentioned this to him briefly last night. He agreed there's some truth to it. I'm not sure he's going to do/think about it more but at least it's no longer a gigantic invisible elephant, just a gigantic elephant... If that makes sense. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 27, 2012 11:03:07 GMT -5
Had a decent enough weekend. Did a lot of errands, both with DH and with the kids. I think I'm clearing the next hurdle - which is trying to stop myself before yelling. Sometimes I count, sometimes I take a deep breath, sometimes it's a verbal "Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for me/us." And sometimes I don't manage to do any of those things and bellow. I'm a work in progress and I think this is a step in the right direction. Kids need new shoes, new clothes and DD's asking for new beach towels, with Barbie, Fairies, etc. on them. Caleb's got a b-day at the end of Oct. so I'm going to buy him a couple pairs of pants and sweatshirts and hold off on "real" clothes until after his b-day as I know he'll get some then. And I've got a target to keep the weekly grocery shopping under now. $100 per week for now. I came in at $95 and change this weekend. And close to $20 of that was stuff we didn't need/treats. The weeks I buy stuff for DH will be hirer but we'll see how it plays out. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 28, 2012 11:30:12 GMT -5
I feel dispirited today. Not sure why.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 30, 2012 9:11:37 GMT -5
OMG, I think I just committed DH and me to joining the work bowling league. I got an email on it yesterday and forwarded it to DH, who used to bowl and has talked off and on about getting back into it... We talked about it last night and I emailed back to find out about fees. It's every 3rd Saturday for 11 weeks, starting in Sept. and going though April. I suck at bowling and while it's not the 1st activity I'd sign ME up for, it's an enforced date night, it should be fun, it's something DH likes and it will let both of us meet some new people. So I'd say it's win/win, overall. $28 a night, which may include shoe rental, plus babysitting fees. And any bar costs for drinks, I'd assume.
I'm off to email DH the new info I got and see what he thinks. Unless he's changed his mind, I expect I'll be calling back to say "we're in" later today.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 30, 2012 9:57:57 GMT -5
lol. I don't think we could do curling. DH has Reynauld's Disease (sp.) and is very sensitive to cold. Being on an iced surface is probably close to his idea of hell right now...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 4, 2012 8:34:31 GMT -5
I hate PMS.  It's been kicking my butt all weekend. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 11, 2012 11:18:42 GMT -5
Well, DD started K4 this week. DH and I did the first day of school together. It went well, no tears, no whining and seemingly no nerves for her. I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. She did fine today too. She had a good day yesterday, from what she said and the teacher's note. Her teacher lives 2 doors down from my parents and I knew her somewhat when she was growing up. Which is both reassuring and weird at the same time. I'm trying not to smother/helicopter the kids but my instincts are to do so, so I'm fighting myself a lot. I know it's normal and all but it's still odd, having a kid in school. Work's been great about letting me juggle my schedule. We found out last Thursday we were getting into this school so we've been rushing around trying to get stuff in place. Still need a nap pad for her. We're ordering one online as we're not seeing them in stores around here. I'm busy at work too, I've got training to conduct this afternoon and two more days, there's something from a vendor I need to work on but my boss didn't pass it on to me, the deadline is Friday too. ;D Having DD in school is going to save us $400+ a month in dcp costs. My parents agreed to do dropoff 3 days a week and continue to have DS 1 day a week. My ILs are going to do dropoff the other 2 days as well as have DS 1 day. And I'm doing pickup 5 days a week. Next week I'll be leaving DD at my parents house early and then going in to work. First usage of the money is to bump my 457 and DH's 401K back up to 15%. We dropped them earlier this year to 5%, assuming that a. we'd be doing that for about 6 months or so and b. a 6 month drop in contributions won't kill us in taxes OR cause us to miss out on mind-numbing growth in the accounts.  We're 42 and hovering around $300K when you combine both accounts. And I'll get some kind of pension. So we agreed to do it. But as tempting as it is to spend the money on other stuff, we both know the priority is getting both of us back up to 20% going to retirement. Although I don't think we'll see the difference in dcp until mid Oct. There's a 2 week penalty for lack of notice in pulling DD out of dcp. Any money left after the retirement planning - I don't know where it's going to go. There's a bunch of home projects we need to tackle. Mostly minor things like painting the living room, replacing the curtain rods (DS keeps pulling them down and they're coming out of the wall  ), replacing the light fixture in the big bathroom, along with finishing off getting the wallpaper off and painting that. Replace the carpet in the kitchen with cheap tile to last until we gut the kitchen. DH wants to do a B&B sans kids. I want to do a waterpark with the kids. |
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Sept 11, 2012 12:45:01 GMT -5
Yay for retirement!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 12, 2012 10:28:46 GMT -5
Yeah. It's important. I'm always surprised at the moms on my other baby board who aren't doing anything for retirement. I know they're younger than me but still... DH and I did talk about the contributions last night. He can't change his until Oct. 1st (quarterly changes only) and he wants me to hold off on my paperwork until next week. We're not sure how long it will take mine to take effect. It depends on how fast the City and Nationwide deal with the paperwork. |
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Sept 12, 2012 16:11:22 GMT -5
WAY TO GO WISCONSIN BETH AND MR WISCONSIN BETH!
Karma to you!
Such a good plan to put the extra money into retirement instead of absorbing it into your budget. I also think it is good to wait a week or two to change your allocations and until Oct 1 for his just in case you get hit with the DC termination charges you mentioned above.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 13, 2012 10:39:06 GMT -5
We missed the last bill too. $15 late fee. Whoops. We should be at the new dcp fee schedule at the end of Sept. And once we get Caleb potty trained, it will drop about $3 a day for him. I picked up Keira yesterday and we went to Barnes and Noble. I had a $25 gift card from my birthday and I wanted a book. I figured I'd buy Keira a book too and then blow the rest of the gift card on the Godiva chocolate bars.  Unfortunately for that plan, DD picked out a book set that was $20. I kept showing her cheaper Princess books but nope, after 30+ minutes of browsing all she wanted was the Golden Book box set of 5 Disney Princesses stories. So I ended up paying $3.44 for 6 books and no chocolate bars. Oh well. It's not like my hips need the chocolate anyway... |
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Post by snapdragon on Sept 13, 2012 12:35:27 GMT -5
Beth - You should know by now that if you go anywhere with a child you will probably spend any money on them and not yourself. I'm sorry that you wern't able to get A chocolate bar.  |
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 13, 2012 12:41:28 GMT -5
We missed the last bill too. $15 late fee. Whoops. We should be at the new dcp fee schedule at the end of Sept. And once we get Caleb potty trained, it will drop about $3 a day for him. I picked up Keira yesterday and we went to Barnes and Noble. I had a $25 gift card from my birthday and I wanted a book. I figured I'd buy Keira a book too and then blow the rest of the gift card on the Godiva chocolate bars. Unfortunately for that plan, DD picked out a book set that was $20. I kept showing her cheaper Princess books but nope, after 30+ minutes of browsing all she wanted was the Golden Book box set of 5 Disney Princesses stories. So I ended up paying $3.44 for 6 books and no chocolate bars. Oh well. It's not like my hips need the chocolate anyway... You're a good Mama, Beth. The chocolate bars will be forgotten as soon as they're eaten. The books and the time she spent with you shopping for them will be remembered for a long time. My kids LOVED books as little ones. Your post about them sitting in the car reading while you and DH broke camp brought back a flood of memories for me. I probably spent a small fortune on (quality) books for them, but we've kept most of them and I can share them with future grandchildren. You can never go wrong with a box set of princess books. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 13, 2012 12:55:00 GMT -5
Beth - You should know by now that if you go anywhere with a child you will probably spend any money on them and not yourself. I'm sorry that you wern't able to get A chocolate bar. LOL. I think that's one of the weirdest/most automatic things about being a parent, spending money on them/their needs instead of me. If I hadn't taken DD with me (or DS) I'd have bought more books for me. Or those chocolate bars. ;D But since I had 1 kid with me, she got a book too. If I'm buying myself something at Target, it's really hard to not buy for the kids, if they're with me. If they're at home or in school/dcp, it's not a problem. Keep in mind, we're talking a Pepsi at the checkout for me and a bag of Goldfish for them most of the time. Not expensive per se. Or I'll buy stuff for them and not for me. McDonald's is usually a large fry and a burger or 2. And I'll go home and have a sandwich or leftovers. Admittedly it's a US McD's and not a fancy one like Angel's got in Italy (she posted pictures on her Adventures in Italy thread of EE) so it's not like I want it a whole lot anyway. DH keeps crabbing about money lately. Either things are worse than I know about or he's being an ass/I'm being a b@tch. Probably some of both as the truth tends to be in the middle. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 19, 2012 10:18:03 GMT -5
Well, I sucked it up last night and took my Mom and both kids to Payless to get sneakers. You could feel their toes in their old sneakers, at the front of the shoes.  I bought DD an umbrella too. She picked out the Tinkerbell one. Came to $39 and change altogether. Both kids will need Christmas shoes and I think they both need boots too. But I wasn't up to that last night. Besides, they'll probably outgrown them before Christmas if I buy them now... Dinner was pizza and I got some stuff done around the house. Not much but a bit. I'm tired and cranky today. Don't want to work but am stuck here as my minivan is in the shop for a high pitched whine. I'm hoping it's just a belt that needs replacing/tightening as the sound was considerably less yesterday and this morning from what it was on Sunday/Monday. I'm cutting alcohol out of my diet. I'm starting to use it as a crutch/reward and drinking more than I think I should be. Esp. considering I'm still on happy pills. I told DH this so he's not to give into me. And I can't believe it's only 1015. It feels like it should be noon, at least. I guess this means I need to proofread my headache inducing documentation so I can pass it up the chain of command. I need to make a doctor appt; a therapy appt and a mammogram appt. And the kids need dentist appts. And I have to set up stuff for my yearly health assessment though work. I think I'll try to do mine on 1 day and the kids on a different day. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 24, 2012 8:34:21 GMT -5
So much for cutting alcohol out. I had wine on Sat. night. But I resisted running to the liquor store on Friday night and didn't have any on Sunday, so that's sort of an improvement. The kids were exhausted last night. We spent about 2-3 hours at the Zoo and they walked. And no naps when we got home. Early bed and dead silence all night. It was awesome. I'd have stayed longer at the Zoo with them but DH was done. So for the last 20 minutes or so, it was "Do you want to ride the Merry-Go-Round or do this? Because you only get to do 1 thing." and the Merry-Go-Round won, as expected. ;D Well, DD was the one who picked. DS would have done anything else I think. But he ended up following me on the ride and then we sat on the swan bench. He hates the up and down part of it. My house is a pit and I get to rip apart the living room tonight as the kids managed to pry off and lose 2 keys from my work laptop.  I can't get them off if my life depended on it and they managed to do it with their fingers. Kids are weird. I may be going to a funeral today. I'm trying to decide. It's the Mom of someone I went to grade school with. She was part of my parent's Sheepshead club and I played with her in there a couple of times. My parents are going and they're watching DD today (no school) so they told me they may be taking her to the funeral. She was cremated so there's no body and if DD gets upset, my parents will leave or take her outside. Basically, DD will think it's just going to Mass with Grandma and Grandpa. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 25, 2012 8:01:43 GMT -5
DD was amazing for my parents yesterday. She spent 2 hours at church for the visitation and the funeral Mass and was great, according to my Mom. So they came home, had lunch and then went to the fabric store as my Mom's going to try to make some long pants for the kids with elastic waists. She thinks it should be fairly easy and she's got a pattern from when she used to do this for us, back in the 70s. And I think the toilet is fixed! woohoo  I don't think it's leaking but the stupid carpet was damp and I'm not completely sure. So I've got a fan running in there to dry the carpet (who the E puts carpet in a bathroom??!!) and we'll see. It's also filling about 1/3 less, but since it's flushing pee and TP just fine, I'm going to leave that. I know how to tweak it but if it's working fine on less water, I'm going to run with that. And for anyone else - it's apparently a 1950s era Crane toilet. Crane didn't believe in standardized parts which explains why this repair has sucked so much. |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 26, 2012 10:26:29 GMT -5
Carpet beneath the toilet is still dry this morning. I turned the fan off last night. And it's not constantly running anymore. I rock!
DD and I are going shopping after I pick her up. We're need another booster seat for her because we're lazy and don't like transferring them from one car to another. And I want to look for sweats/jeans for DS, with elastic waists. Maybe a long sleeved shirt or 2 for both kids.
And I need to check on the tumbling teddy bears class I signed both kids up for. I think it starts on Thursday but it might be next Thursday.
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We're 42 and hovering around $300K when you combine both accounts. And I'll get some kind of pension. So we agreed to do it. But as tempting as it is to spend the money on other stuff, we both know the priority is getting both of us back up to 20% going to retirement. Although I don't think we'll see the difference in dcp until mid Oct. There's a 2 week penalty for lack of notice in pulling DD out of dcp. 
