Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Jun 8, 2014 2:05:26 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 8, 2014 2:27:49 GMT -5
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 8, 2014 22:45:38 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2014 23:41:45 GMT -5
In that case... have sex, go to sleep, and dream of punching someone in the face!  |
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
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Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Jokes
Jun 8, 2014 23:57:22 GMT -5
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 8, 2014 23:57:22 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2014 19:53:47 GMT -5
Well... I was going to say "Find a masochistic somnophiliac"... then if you struggle in your sleep you could have all three at the same time... But I thought that might have been too much. |
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ZaireinHD
Senior Associate
Joined: Mar 4, 2011 22:14:27 GMT -5
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Post by ZaireinHD on Jun 11, 2014 21:06:02 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 12, 2014 0:35:38 GMT -5
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 12, 2014 0:40:21 GMT -5
 Trees make great detectives! |
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 12, 2014 0:44:06 GMT -5
 Vote for the Toilet Seat Party! |
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 12, 2014 0:45:13 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 12, 2014 6:36:52 GMT -5
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ZaireinHD
Senior Associate
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Post by ZaireinHD on Jun 13, 2014 2:09:15 GMT -5
 Geez!! it's tough drive'n in da hood!!  |
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 13, 2014 20:34:15 GMT -5
 ~~ Grin ~~
When God created Adam and Eve, He said:
"I only have two gifts - One is the art of peeing while standing …"
And Adam stepped forward and shouted:
"ME!, ME!, ME!, - I would love it please … Lord, please, please!
Look, it will make my life substantially easier!"
Eve nodded, and said those things did not matter to her.
Then God gave Adam the gift and he began to shout for joy.
He ran through the garden of Eden and used it to wet all the trees and
bushes, ran down the beach making drawings with his pee in the sand … well, he would not stop showing off.
God and Eve watched the man crazy with happiness and finally Eve asked God:
"What is the other gift?"
God answered:
"Eve, it's a brain … and it is for you ."
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 31, 2024 2:23:41 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2014 21:53:46 GMT -5
I like the other version of that joke better... the one where God gave Eve the capability of multiple orgasms.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 13, 2014 23:57:48 GMT -5
But there was only one man on earth and God gave the brain to Eve. He was too busy writing his name in the sand.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 14, 2014 7:28:24 GMT -5
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 31, 2024 2:23:41 GMT -5
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Jokes
Jun 14, 2014 21:08:23 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2014 21:08:23 GMT -5
But there was only one man on earth and God gave the brain to Eve. He was too busy writing his name in the sand. I still like the other version better (because there's no gender slamming in the one I like). Besides... If God gave Eve a brain (smarts)... why did she still believe the serpent and eat the apple? |
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 15, 2014 22:24:48 GMT -5
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uncle23
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:10:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,648
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Post by uncle23 on Jun 17, 2014 8:51:11 GMT -5
......
Bert, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret, age 75, looked him over. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert,
what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! Shoulda bought a hat."
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 20, 2014 0:19:20 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 20, 2014 8:07:10 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 21, 2014 1:55:05 GMT -5
Good one! I may have to use this sometime! |
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 31, 2024 2:23:41 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2014 18:22:29 GMT -5
Too bad the frog doesn't own a farm... because then he could be outstanding in his field... |
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 21, 2014 21:52:42 GMT -5
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 22, 2014 1:09:58 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 22, 2014 11:52:00 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 22, 2014 15:41:04 GMT -5
Finally! Someone 'gets' me! |
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 22, 2014 15:42:38 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 22, 2014 15:43:30 GMT -5
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~ Friendships Are Warm ~ True Passions are Fire ~ 
