Jokes

[NoNamePerson]

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2014 15:05:37 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Feb 23, 2014 7:12:34 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Should work the same way as before. (magic word when dealing with Windows products being "should"... LOL).

ETA: When you say "post" do you mean "upload from my machine to a server somewhere"... or "link here from an existing picture somewhere else on the internet"?

Thanks for the info... but I can't make it work. it's so frustrating!  I've tried everything I know, and everything I think might work, but so far, nothing.   I'm using windows 7 and IE 11 currently.  Is there anything else that you might need to know, in order to help me?

Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I was in sleep mode. 

Still need to know what you are actually wanting to do: Upload a picture to a site from your computer... or... link a picture from a website to here.

Different answers to that question will lead to different solutions for your issue.

[Deleted]

Is there any greater symbol of your love of coffee than 6.5" (15.9 cm) tall, 10" (25.4 cm) in diameter real porcelain cup perched on the edge of your desk or kitchen counter? While you should never drink 20 cups of coffee in one sitting, you can take comfort in knowing that the World's Largest Coffee Cup could hold 20 regular cups. Of course, that's only 19 cups if you leave room for cream. Made of porcelain. Heavy.




Yes... it's real. You can buy it on Amazon: World's Largest Coffee Cup






(for the record, no, I am not a paid spokesperson for either Amazon or the company that sells the cup... I just noticed people mentioning they needed a bigger cup for their coffee on the thread )

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

Good one, uncle23

[toomuchreality]

Feb 27, 2014 23:18:27 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Feb 27, 2014 15:05:37 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Thanks for the info... but I can't make it work. it's so frustrating!  I've tried everything I know, and everything I think might work, but so far, nothing.   I'm using windows 7 and IE 11 currently.  Is there anything else that you might need to know, in order to help me?

Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I was in sleep mode. 

Still need to know what you are actually wanting to do: Upload a picture to a site from your computer... or... link a picture from a website to here.

Different answers to that question will lead to different solutions for your issue.

  Oh yeah-
Trying to post/link from a website. I haven't tried to upload a picture using Windows 7. I haven't got any on that computer yet.

So far I've only tried using IE.  I'm used to using Firefox. Maybe I should download Firefox and give that a try.   Any thoughts about that?

I really do appreciate your thoughts and suggestions!  (as well as your time)

[Deleted]

Feb 28, 2014 2:58:22 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Feb 27, 2014 23:18:27 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Still need to know what you are actually wanting to do: Upload a picture to a site from your computer... or... link a picture from a website to here.

Different answers to that question will lead to different solutions for your issue.

  Oh yeah-
Trying to post/link from a website. I haven't tried to upload a picture using Windows 7. I haven't got any on that computer yet.

So far I've only tried using IE.  I'm used to using Firefox. Maybe I should download Firefox and give that a try.   Any thoughts about that?

I really do appreciate your thoughts and suggestions!  (as well as your time)

O.k. ... Now, knowing that: My first suggestion would be to download and use Chrome from this point... forward.

But, to get a picture from a website using IE: This is from the "How To" section on my site...

If you are browsing with Internet Explorer:
Get comfortable, maybe go get a drink... you are going to be busy for a while
Right-Click on the picture.
Go down the pop-up list to "Properties".
Left-Click it.
In the window that pops open, locate the "Address (URL):" line.
Left-Click on the address THREE times, quickly (the whole address should highlight itself).
With your mouse hovering over the highlighted address, Right-Click.
From the menu that pops up, select "Copy".
Left-Click the "Cancel" button at the bottom of the pop-up window.


Once you have gotten the image URL, and once you have returned here and gotten into the editor (or quick reply) box, click on the "Insert Image" button () and delete the already entered "http://", then paste in your URL by right clicking and selecting "Paste"

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

tmr: I was just about to tell you how to post a pic, but looks like Richard has already done the job. Thanks, Richard.

BTW, you can also manually highlight the image URL link without having to click it multiple times.

Now try this:

[Deleted]

No problem SL... I'm always glad to help when/if I can!

[toomuchreality]

Thank you for all the advice and suggestions! 

Right now I am using my desk top with XP on it. On this computer, I can add/post pictures, NO PROBLEM. (the way you said to)

My next post I will do from my Windows 7 desktop...

wait for it...


wait for it...

wait for it...

[toomuchreality]

This post is being done on my Windows 7 desktop computer.   That's what I get, when I try to post an image. I show a black box with an x in it! UGH!!!

This is so frustrating!

[toomuchreality]

Feb 28, 2014 21:31:24 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Feb 28, 2014 2:58:22 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

  Oh yeah-
Trying to post/link from a website. I haven't tried to upload a picture using Windows 7. I haven't got any on that computer yet.

So far I've only tried using IE.  I'm used to using Firefox. Maybe I should download Firefox and give that a try.   Any thoughts about that?

I really do appreciate your thoughts and suggestions!  (as well as your time)

O.k. ... Now, knowing that: My first suggestion would be to download and use Chrome from this point... forward.

But, to get a picture from a website using IE: This is from the "How To" section on my site...

If you are browsing with Internet Explorer:
Get comfortable, maybe go get a drink... you are going to be busy for a while
Right-Click on the picture.
Go down the pop-up list to "Properties".
Left-Click it.
In the window that pops open, locate the "Address (URL):" line.
Left-Click on the address THREE times, quickly (the whole address should highlight itself).
With your mouse hovering over the highlighted address, Right-Click.
From the menu that pops up, select "Copy".
Left-Click the "Cancel" button at the bottom of the pop-up window.


Once you have gotten the image URL, and once you have returned here and gotten into the editor (or quick reply) box, click on the "Insert Image" button () and delete the already entered "http://", then paste in your URL by right clicking and selecting "Paste"

yeah. That's what I do. But it still doesn't work. I can't figure out why!

If I have to get used to posting without being able to add images, I'm not sure I will find life worth living/posting any more. Talk about a blow!

Thanks for trying!  (I tried too!)

[Deleted]

Feb 28, 2014 23:25:41 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

This post is being done on my Windows 7 desktop computer.   That's what I get, when I try to post an image. I show a black box with an x in it! UGH!!!

This is so frustrating!

That particular "link" is giving a "page re-direct" NOT an image.

Post the URL here, if you don't mind. That way I can see if it's glitching in your "grab" of it.

ETA: was it the same image as you successfully posted in the preceding post? You know... the ?


ETAII: regarding the bolded... it's supposed to be frustrating... it's Infuriating Explorer (IE)

[Deleted]

I'd also strongly recommend downloading Chrome (or Firefox... I personally prefer Chrome, but they are about the same) and getting as far away from IE as possible.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

tmr, your link wasn't an image link. It should end in .jpg or .gif.

If you're searching images online, once you find the image, click on "View Image" - then right click, scroll to "Properties" and copy the image .jpg or .gif link. Come back here, and paste the image link into the box explained above.

[toomuchreality]

LOL IE is not my favorite either.

When I posted that, I tried the 'copy shortcut' option.    Woo Hoo!!! I think I got it!  yay!

thank you!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[toomuchreality]

Feb 28, 2014 23:38:53 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

I'd also strongly recommend downloading Chrome (or Firefox... I personally prefer Chrome, but they are about the same) and getting as far away from IE as possible.

Am now using firefox. Whew!   

[toomuchreality]

Back to the jokes~

A man goes into the chemist and asks for some viagra.
’Have you got a prescription,’ the chemist asks him.
’No, but will a picture of my wife do?’ the man says.

[uncle23]

....


Love this; it is completely rational!


Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When the Head Nurse went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'

[uncle23]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

"Feels great", he replied, "but I still think my thumb's broken!"

[NoNamePerson]

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget."

They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate.

Later, as she is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, I know it's getting late, but I think we can do it one more time."

"That's easy for you to say," she complains. "You don't have to get up in the morning."

[NoNamePerson]

Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?

A: It depends how hard you throw them.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

The difference between cats & dogs:

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

[NoNamePerson]

Oops thought this was what I was posting but decided to let the other one stand.

[uncle23]

.......





A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO Sam's Club

Yesterday I was at Sam's Club, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my
loyal pet, Owen , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that
I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that
I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete,
(certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me.

I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask
retired people.

[tigerpause]

[tigerpause]