Jokes

[tigerpause]

[toomuchreality]

okay- No joke here...

I'm trying to switch over to Windows 7, from XP, and I can't figure out how to post pictures/images/graphics (whatever you want to call them!).

Admittedly, I am not techy, but I could at least do this!  Woe is me...

Any suggestions?  (PLEASE HELP!)

Thanks!

[Deleted]

Feb 23, 2014 5:23:05 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

okay- No joke here...

I'm trying to switch over to Windows 7, from XP, and I can't figure out how to post pictures/images/graphics (whatever you want to call them!).

Admittedly, I am not techy, but I could at least do this!  Woe is me...

Any suggestions?  (PLEASE HELP!)

Thanks!

Should work the same way as before. (magic word when dealing with Windows products being "should"... LOL).

ETA: When you say "post" do you mean "upload from my machine to a server somewhere"... or "link here from an existing picture somewhere else on the internet"?

[NoNamePerson]

What Richard said: I am on Windows 7 with IE9 but we need a little more info.  Oh and I went from XP to Win 7!!!

[gambler]

Drafting guys over 60


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

[gambler]

sorry about the double post. see my comments on another thread about my isp

[uncle23]

....

videos2view.net/doctor-bunker.htm

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Darn kids these days watching porn online:

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

ETA: Good one, uncle - always loved Archie.

[NoNamePerson]

What SL said  

[Deleted]

Just about anything a person needs to know, they can learn from watching Archie Bunker. The only difficulty is knowing which things he's right about... and which things he's wrong about.

[Deleted]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Archie meets Sammy Davis, Jr:

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

HeHeHe!

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I need one of these mugs:

[uncle23]

.....

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[Deleted]

Feb 25, 2014 13:11:40 GMT -5 uncle23 said:

.....

WARNING!

Do not watch while drinking something!

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

LOL, uncle - I was fine til the end of your video.

[CarolinaKat]

Feb 25, 2014 11:07:42 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

I need one of these mugs:

I need one marked for "cup one" and "cup two"

[uncle23]

......




A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

[NoNamePerson]

 uncle23 now that was funny!!!!!

[uncle23]

....


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[toomuchreality]

Feb 23, 2014 7:12:34 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Feb 23, 2014 5:23:05 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

okay- No joke here...

I'm trying to switch over to Windows 7, from XP, and I can't figure out how to post pictures/images/graphics (whatever you want to call them!).

Admittedly, I am not techy, but I could at least do this!  Woe is me...

Any suggestions?  (PLEASE HELP!)

Thanks!

Should work the same way as before. (magic word when dealing with Windows products being "should"... LOL).

ETA: When you say "post" do you mean "upload from my machine to a server somewhere"... or "link here from an existing picture somewhere else on the internet"?

Thanks for the info... but I can't make it work. it's so frustrating!  I've tried everything I know, and everything I think might work, but so far, nothing.   I'm using windows 7 and IE 11 currently.  Is there anything else that you might need to know, in order to help me?

Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I was in sleep mode. 

[toomuchreality]

Feb 26, 2014 9:25:20 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

I need one marked for "cup one" and "cup two"

me too!  I might have to make one!