Jokes

[NoNamePerson]

[NoNamePerson]

[Deleted]

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he visited a fourth grade class.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'
So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field, and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Obama, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call great loss."

The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.

In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"

The teacher fainted.

[NoNamePerson]

You just can't beat Little Johnny jokes  well, maybe blonde jokes give him a run for his money but still~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[gambler]

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.
The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard,
has sued St Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery
there, he lost all interest in sex.


A hospital spokesman replied ...


"Mr. Maynard was admitted in
Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight."

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

This is definitely my family.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

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[NoNamePerson]

[gambler]

can i get an amen


A bible-thumping preacher was really getting it going one Sunday, and in the heat of the Gospel, an attractive lady leaned out of the balcony a little too far, and fell over the railing. As she passed the chandelier on the way down, the hem of her dress caught on part of the fixture, and she hung there with her dress pulled clear over her hips for everyone's viewing pleasure!
The preacher, a sensitive sort, cried out, "Any man who dares to look shall be struck blind!"

An old fellow in the front row nudged his friend and said, " I'm gonna chance it. This left eye ain't worth a damn, anyway!"

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[NoNamePerson]

I saw that the other day and it cracked me up. I love blonde jokes (my apologies to all blondes on the board)

[MarleyKeezy78]

What do you call a fake noodle?





















An impasta 

[NoNamePerson]

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Whoever wrote this won't be allowed in the place.

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[MarleyKeezy78]

-rofl-Looks like the green giants...