Tennesseer
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Sept 2, 2020 9:24:08 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 9:24:08 GMT -5
Have you been hanging out with my mother?! I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Sept 2, 2020 9:35:02 GMT -5
I've been doing that since I started driving! 🤣
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Tennesseer
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Sept 2, 2020 9:37:03 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 9:37:03 GMT -5
I've been doing that since I started driving! 🤣
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 15:47:12 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 2, 2020 16:36:10 GMT -5
I have the post saved, I think. If so I will post some of the other ones, some are hilarious! Very creative folks out there. I think I got it from Beyond the far side FB page.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 17:02:17 GMT -5
I thought it was pretty creative too.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 17:07:47 GMT -5
NoNamePerson - I found it on the 'The Unitarian Universalist Hysterical Society Coffee Hour' Facebook page.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 2, 2020 17:55:13 GMT -5
Have you been hanging out with my mother?! I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit. I've done that many times, myself. LOL But one time last month, as I wandered through a parking lot, looking for my car, I began to freak out. I'd been up and down every row in the lot, twice and still didn't see my car! Just as I was beginning to panic, I realized I had been looking for a white car. Every car I've had since probably 1980, has been white. But after my car caught on fire June 10th, my DD1 bought me another car. A brown car. I'd been looking for the wrong color car! My brown car was about 20 ft I front of me. Duh.
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Tennesseer
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Sept 2, 2020 18:22:56 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Sept 2, 2020 18:22:56 GMT -5
I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit. I've done that many times, myself. LOL But one time last month, as I wandered through a parking lot, looking for my car, I began to freak out. I'd been up and down every row in the lot, twice and still didn't see my car! Just as I was beginning to panic, I realized I had been looking for a white car. Every car I've had since probably 1980, has been white. But after my car caught on fire June 10th, my DD1 bought me another car. A brown car. I'd been looking for the wrong color car! My brown car was about 20 ft I front of me. Duh. I cannot tell you how many times I have pressed the unlock button on my car key fob and the damn doors didn't unlock. Only then do I press the horn alarm to see what direction the noise is coming from and head that way.
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NoNamePerson
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Sept 2, 2020 18:40:34 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 2, 2020 18:40:34 GMT -5
I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit. I've done that many times, myself. LOL But one time last month, as I wandered through a parking lot, looking for my car, I began to freak out. I'd been up and down every row in the lot, twice and still didn't see my car! Just as I was beginning to panic, I realized I had been looking for a white car. Every car I've had since probably 1980, has been white. But after my car caught on fire June 10th, my DD1 bought me another car. A brown car. I'd been looking for the wrong color car! My brown car was about 20 ft I front of me. Duh. You are not alone in this dilemma
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 2, 2020 18:47:53 GMT -5
I've done that many times, myself. LOL But one time last month, as I wandered through a parking lot, looking for my car, I began to freak out. I'd been up and down every row in the lot, twice and still didn't see my car! Just as I was beginning to panic, I realized I had been looking for a white car. Every car I've had since probably 1980, has been white. But after my car caught on fire June 10th, my DD1 bought me another car. A brown car. I'd been looking for the wrong color car! My brown car was about 20 ft I front of me. Duh. I cannot tell you how many times I have pressed the unlock button on my car key fob and the damn doors didn't unlock. Only then do I press the horn alarm to see what direction the noise is coming from and head that way. I posted something about this long ago in the meme thread
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 2, 2020 18:54:47 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 3, 2020 14:14:01 GMT -5
I've done that many times, myself. LOL But one time last month, as I wandered through a parking lot, looking for my car, I began to freak out. I'd been up and down every row in the lot, twice and still didn't see my car! Just as I was beginning to panic, I realized I had been looking for a white car. Every car I've had since probably 1980, has been white. But after my car caught on fire June 10th, my DD1 bought me another car. A brown car. I'd been looking for the wrong color car! My brown car was about 20 ft I front of me. Duh. I cannot tell you how many times I have pressed the unlock button on my car key fob and the damn doors didn't unlock. Only then do I press the horn alarm to see what direction the noise is coming from and head that way. I've never done that. I should probably do it as soon as I walk out of the store! 🤣🤣🤣
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 3, 2020 14:15:36 GMT -5
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gambler
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Post by gambler on Sept 3, 2020 21:13:01 GMT -5
Hearing Problem
Larry goes to the revival and listens to the preacher.
After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar.
Larry gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks:
"Larry, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Larry replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Larry's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Larry's head and prays and prays and prays.
After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks Larry:
"Larry, how is your hearing now?"
Larry says, "I don't know, Reverend, it's not until next Wednesday."
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Sept 4, 2020 2:18:36 GMT -5
Hahaha... Took me a second. Not long, but a second. 😁
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 4, 2020 7:01:35 GMT -5
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University . On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
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gambler
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"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Post by gambler on Sept 4, 2020 17:16:20 GMT -5
The Anniversary
A husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry" said the father, the important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mom look great Dad". I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you".
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing, so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
As the realization of what that meant, the three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!"
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 6, 2020 11:14:17 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 6, 2020 12:45:07 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 7, 2020 17:00:36 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 7, 2020 17:02:23 GMT -5
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Opti
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Sept 7, 2020 20:30:53 GMT -5
Post by Opti on Sept 7, 2020 20:30:53 GMT -5
Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. My name is [My Name], how can I help you? Customer: *distinct southern accent* “Where am I calling?” Me: “[Company] technical support. Are you having trouble with your internet, sir?” Customer: “I know that. I mean, what part of the world?” Me: “I’m in Canada, sir. Is there something I can help you with?” Customer: “Canada?! You have internet up in Canada?” Me: “Nope… just got radio, in fact, I had to drive my dog sled into work. There was a horrible accident and I lost two dogs. It’s been a rough day.” Customer: “Oh… well, I want technical support from a country who actually has it.” *click* Supervisor: *monitoring calls* “You can’t be serious.” notalwaysright.com/popular/page/2/
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gambler
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Post by gambler on Sept 7, 2020 21:48:03 GMT -5
Lost
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 8, 2020 16:24:00 GMT -5
Have you been hanging out with my mother?! I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit. I try to park by the cart return or on a direct line to one of the in doors. Also, close to one of the landscape islands.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 8, 2020 16:42:38 GMT -5
I have been known to wander supermarket and big box parking lots with a 'W(here)TF did I park' face on. I often see others around my age with the same face. We nod to each other acknowledging we are brothers and sisters in spirit. I try to park by the cart return or on a direct line to one of the in doors. Also, close to one of the landscape islands. I try to remember what sign or object(s) are at the end of the parking lot aisle and on/against the store (for example things like propane gas tanks for outdoor grills). Not always successful.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 8, 2020 18:03:29 GMT -5
I try to park by the cart return or on a direct line to one of the in doors. Also, close to one of the landscape islands. I try to remember what sign or object(s) are at the end of the parking lot aisle and on/against the store (for example things like propane gas tanks for outdoor grills). Not always successful. I’ve tried all of the above even looking at the Name, etc on outside and tell myself I’m parked in line with the Ta, uy, etc! You get the idea. It’s real important now with entrances and exits dictated by a virus
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 9, 2020 21:12:46 GMT -5
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gambler
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Post by gambler on Sept 10, 2020 20:51:41 GMT -5
Nair
This lady found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady says: "I'm not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.."
The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for at least a week."
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NoNamePerson
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Sept 10, 2020 20:57:25 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 10, 2020 20:57:25 GMT -5
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