Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 1, 2020 20:33:49 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 5, 2020 8:12:50 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 7, 2020 17:39:25 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 7, 2020 19:13:46 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 12, 2020 18:42:54 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Jokes
Mar 12, 2020 18:44:44 GMT -5
Post by tigerpause on Mar 12, 2020 18:44:44 GMT -5
Spraying with disinfectant? Plastic bags??
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 12, 2020 18:46:27 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 12, 2020 19:53:29 GMT -5
Spraying with disinfectant? Plastic bags?? My son sent this to me yesterday. I was laughing so hard I bet my next door neighbor could hear me
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 12, 2020 19:55:36 GMT -5
Spraying with disinfectant? Plastic bags?? This is my city.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 15, 2020 8:46:46 GMT -5
Not a joke but was funny to me! Wonder if internet/voice is included in package ?
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 15, 2020 9:41:15 GMT -5
I have an idea what it is, I just have to find it
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 15, 2020 9:41:45 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 15, 2020 9:44:33 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 15, 2020 12:00:14 GMT -5
I have an idea what it is, I just have to find it It took me a bit then it dawned on me!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 15, 2020 12:06:59 GMT -5
I have an idea what it is, I just have to find it It took me a bit then it dawned on me! Twilight Zone: Night Call
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gambler
Well-Known Member
"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by gambler on Mar 16, 2020 16:41:34 GMT -5
Church
Going to Church in Chicago When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.
As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church?
He laid his hands on my shoulder and said: "By the will of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."
I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: "By the Grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today."
Again, I said that there is nothing wrong with me. After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold they were right ---
My car was gone !
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 16, 2020 21:31:28 GMT -5
I have an idea what it is, I just have to find it It took me a bit then it dawned on me! Free tv at first I was looking for a roll of toilet paper
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billisonboard
Community Leader
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Jokes
Mar 16, 2020 21:59:51 GMT -5
Post by billisonboard on Mar 16, 2020 21:59:51 GMT -5
Not a joke but was funny to me! Wonder if internet/voice is included in package ? I give up. Someone please PM me.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 16, 2020 22:06:47 GMT -5
Message sent.
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gambler
Well-Known Member
"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by gambler on Mar 17, 2020 18:05:37 GMT -5
The Debate
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community.
If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.
However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever.
The Jews could stay in Italy!
Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue!"
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had won.
"I don't have a clue!!!" the Rabbi said.
"First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, so I told him that we were staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows!!" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine!"
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NoNamePerson
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2020 18:19:46 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 17, 2020 18:19:46 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Mar 18, 2020 23:03:52 GMT -5
Not a joke but was funny to me! Wonder if internet/voice is included in package ? I give up. Someone please PM me. Me too, please. Thanks!
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 19, 2020 0:32:56 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 19, 2020 7:16:09 GMT -5
I give up. Someone please PM me. Me too, please. Thanks! Too lazy to send the message again. The mauselium has a satellite dish to watch TV.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 19, 2020 7:29:40 GMT -5
Too lazy to send the message again. The mauselium has a satellite dish to watch TV. I think it's a little difficult to spot since we are used to the little satellite dishes of today mounted on corner of house and not that big ole thing stuck in back yard. I tried to give a hint when I posted with comment about voice/internet package.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 19, 2020 7:52:08 GMT -5
Too lazy to send the message again. The mauselium has a satellite dish to watch TV. I think it's a little difficult to spot since we are used to the little satellite dishes of today mounted on corner of house and not that big ole thing stuck in back yard. I tried to give a hint when I posted with comment about voice/internet package. And I with the Twilight Zone 'Night Call' reference.
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billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 19, 2020 8:54:04 GMT -5
Too lazy to send the message again. The mauselium has a satellite dish to watch TV. I think it's a little difficult to spot since we are used to the little satellite dishes of today mounted on corner of house and not that big ole thing stuck in back yard. I tried to give a hint when I posted with comment about voice/internet package. And I thought it was too easy to spot for it simply being there being the full extent of the joke. I was attempting to find some significance to "Mills".
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 19, 2020 10:57:35 GMT -5
I think it's a little difficult to spot since we are used to the little satellite dishes of today mounted on corner of house and not that big ole thing stuck in back yard. I tried to give a hint when I posted with comment about voice/internet package. And I thought it was too easy to spot for it simply being there being the full extent of the joke. I was attempting to find some significance to "Mills". I just figured the Mills “lived” there!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 19, 2020 17:01:16 GMT -5
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gambler
Well-Known Member
"the education of a man is never completed until he dies" Robert E. Lee
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Post by gambler on Mar 21, 2020 9:23:56 GMT -5
Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16.
Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16.
If anyone is still out there, I’m alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth. My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean. Down to 1599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory). Power still on, but for how long? Missing human interaction but I have my dogs.. for now.. (I'm soaking their food in BBQ sauce in an attempt to marinate them from the inside in case I have to eat them) . I fear dark days ahead. News is all bad. Neighbors have attempted to leap from windows to their death, (or near death... most have single story homes so they are badly bruised). Blew through most Netflix series so may have to rewatch some again..Basic Survival is a definite challenge. I vow to persevere to the end, I am a survivor! Please, if there is life out there, communicate with me to help preserve my sanity..
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