Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 1, 2017 12:29:49 GMT -5
A friend of mind posted this in Facebook: "Opening day of zucchini season!"
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billisonboard
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Jokes
Aug 1, 2017 12:39:35 GMT -5
Post by billisonboard on Aug 1, 2017 12:39:35 GMT -5
A friend of mind posted this in Facebook: "Opening day of zucchini season!" I'm not a hunter so I don't get why this is on the joke thread.
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Tennesseer
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Jokes
Aug 1, 2017 12:44:20 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Aug 1, 2017 12:44:20 GMT -5
A friend of mind posted this in Facebook: "Opening day of zucchini season!" I'm not a hunter so I don't get why this is on the joke thread. Where should it be posted on YMAM?
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billisonboard
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Jokes
Aug 1, 2017 13:18:17 GMT -5
Post by billisonboard on Aug 1, 2017 13:18:17 GMT -5
I'm not a hunter so I don't get why this is on the joke thread. Where should it be posted on YMAM? Thought about adding this but decided to just post it "straight".
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Aug 1, 2017 20:19:56 GMT -5
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 2, 2017 21:34:07 GMT -5
If you fart loudly in public,
just yell "Jet Power!"
and start walking faster. LOL Or use a lighter! That doesn't work and you end up in ER.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 3, 2017 7:21:52 GMT -5
When your wife says she needs a new broom, it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 3, 2017 7:22:10 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 3, 2017 7:50:34 GMT -5
If you fart loudly in public,
just yell "Jet Power!"
and start walking faster. LOL Or if you silently pass gas in public, blurt out "I smell popcorn." Everyone around you will deeply breath-in.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 3, 2017 16:46:38 GMT -5
If you fart loudly in public,
just yell "Jet Power!"
and start walking faster. LOL Or if you silently pass gas in public, blurt out "I smell popcorn." Everyone around you will deeply breath-in. [ 😲 Omg
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 4, 2017 1:17:03 GMT -5
ugh. nevermind.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 4, 2017 1:59:47 GMT -5
usually they are too big... not this time! "Let's celebrate National Watermelon day by filling one with vodka!"
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 27, 2024 21:24:42 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2017 7:29:55 GMT -5
usually they are too big... not this time! "Let's celebrate National Watermelon day by filling one with vodka!" Ask and ye shall receive...
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 4, 2017 7:48:21 GMT -5
A friend of mind posted this in Facebook: "Opening day of zucchini season!" Saved this for my son. He is a hunter and happens to have a small garden. The zucchini outdid themselves this year. Good thing for me.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Aug 5, 2017 8:02:57 GMT -5
I'm not a hunter so I don't get why this is on the joke thread. Where should it be posted on YMAM? Very ap pro po Tenn. Think about it. plant just one seed and that plant will produce enough zucchini to fill a pickup box. So what do you do with all the extra zucchini? Sure you try to give it away.....but the neighborhood is saturated with the stuff...so you start leaving it on doorsteps....just ring the bell and...RUN. Now the neighbors respond by posting a family member with a shotgun out in their front yard. and....there you have the photo you posted!!
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Aug 8, 2017 10:28:51 GMT -5
You Don’t Say?
Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” A decade later, it’s the big day. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.”
“I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 9, 2017 11:12:33 GMT -5
Witnesses state a coyote and a roadrunner were near the scene moments before this huge boulder fell to the road
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 9, 2017 19:11:31 GMT -5
Witnesses state a coyote and a roadrunner were near the scene moments before this huge boulder fell to the road HOLY CRAP, Batman!
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OldCoyote
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Post by OldCoyote on Aug 9, 2017 23:08:24 GMT -5
Witnesses state a coyote and a roadrunner were near the scene moments before this huge boulder fell to the road HOLY CRAP, Batman! Beep bee.................................
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 10, 2017 7:27:44 GMT -5
Witnesses state a coyote and a roadrunner were near the scene moments before this huge boulder fell to the road Perchance another ACME product gone astray?
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 10, 2017 7:33:20 GMT -5
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. One seventy year old man says; "I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee. An eighty year old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at eight and sit, and grunt, and groan for an hour before I finely get a bowel movement." The ninety year old man says: "At seven, I pee like a horse. At eight I crap like a cow." "So what is your problem?" asked the others. "I don't get up until nine."
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Tennesseer
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Jokes
Aug 10, 2017 8:14:03 GMT -5
Post by Tennesseer on Aug 10, 2017 8:14:03 GMT -5
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. One seventy year old man says; "I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee. An eighty year old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at eight and sit, and grunt, and groan for an hour before I finely get a bowel movement." The ninety year old man says: "At seven, I pee like a horse. At eight I crap like a cow." "So what is your problem?" asked the others. "I don't get up until nine." There wouldn't be so many jokes about the highlighted above if it weren't so true. Many of my conversations with my age group peers start out with the aches, pains, or other medical issue everyone is experiencing. Isn't there anything other topic we can begin a discussion or conversation?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 10, 2017 9:27:36 GMT -5
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. One seventy year old man says; "I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee. An eighty year old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at eight and sit, and grunt, and groan for an hour before I finely get a bowel movement." The ninety year old man says: "At seven, I pee like a horse. At eight I crap like a cow." "So what is your problem?" asked the others. "I don't get up until nine." There wouldn't be so many jokes about the highlighted above if it weren't so true. Many of my conversations with my age group peers start out with the aches, pains, or other medical issue everyone is experiencing. Isn't there anything other topic we can begin a discussion or conversation? How about "Guess what? I got laid last night! Ok evil twin is on her daily outing!! Time to put her back in the attic.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 10, 2017 9:34:06 GMT -5
There wouldn't be so many jokes about the highlighted above if it weren't so true. Many of my conversations with my age group peers start out with the aches, pains, or other medical issue everyone is experiencing. Isn't there anything other topic we can begin a discussion or conversation? How about "Guess what? I got laid last night! Ok evil twin is on her daily outing!! Time to put her back in the attic. Better than hearing about plantar fasciitis and how the expensive shoes you bought don't help it right out of the gate.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 10, 2017 23:11:32 GMT -5
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 11, 2017 7:24:01 GMT -5
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 11, 2017 7:29:26 GMT -5
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. One seventy year old man says; "I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee. An eighty year old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at eight and sit, and grunt, and groan for an hour before I finely get a bowel movement." The ninety year old man says: "At seven, I pee like a horse. At eight I crap like a cow." "So what is your problem?" asked the others. "I don't get up until nine." There wouldn't be so many jokes about the highlighted above if it weren't so true. Many of my conversations with my age group peers start out with the aches, pains, or other medical issue everyone is experiencing. Isn't there anything other topic we can begin a discussion or conversation? Well, 50-60 years ago they used to sit around and talk weather/crops/rain (back in the day when we were rural and you could listen to corn grow) Somebody along the way also took away the horses , chickens and cows....what's left except aches pains or watching haircuts or paint dry?
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 11, 2017 7:31:12 GMT -5
So, as a break from old people jokes.......What do you do when the UPS man apologizes for smashing your stuff ?.........You call off your dogs..
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Jokes
Aug 13, 2017 20:24:00 GMT -5
Post by toomuchreality on Aug 13, 2017 20:24:00 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 13, 2017 20:25:40 GMT -5
ABSOLUTELY! "FO-SHO!"
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