tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jul 25, 2016 18:13:18 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Jul 25, 2016 18:23:51 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 25, 2016 18:23:51 GMT -5
This is bad... but it made me laugh. hehehe You beat me too it. Love this version
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toomuchreality
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Jul 26, 2016 19:07:50 GMT -5
Post by toomuchreality on Jul 26, 2016 19:07:50 GMT -5
This is bad... but it made me laugh. hehehe OMG! That is hilarious! Gross, but still very funny - well done.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 2:32:40 GMT -5
It has been scientifically proven that all women can be satisfied with 3.5 inches.... ... and it doesn't matter if it's a Visa or a Master Card!
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jul 27, 2016 21:51:25 GMT -5
This is bad... but it made me laugh. hehehe One of my uncles had to go do a re-wiring job in a Chinese Dining Restaurant years ago - it also included the kitchen.
He never looked at Chinese Food the same way after that - nor did he eat it. Coincidence??
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Deleted
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Jul 27, 2016 21:59:06 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2016 21:59:06 GMT -5
This is bad... but it made me laugh. hehehe One of my uncles had to go do a re-wiring job in a Chinese Dining Restaurant years ago - it also included the kitchen.
He never looked at Chinese Food the same way after that - nor did he eat it. Coincidence?? If you go into enough restaurant kitchens... that'll happen no matter what the restaurant sevres. Let's just say my Step-Father (before he passed away) stopped going into ANY restaurants (to eat, anyway) after working for a while as a lineman/installer for the phone company installing/repairing/disconnecting phone service in businesses... including many calls to restaurants.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jul 27, 2016 22:59:46 GMT -5
An hour later, you'll want to hear it again
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jul 28, 2016 9:51:57 GMT -5
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would go out. Each time this happened, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?” The bartender replied, “Okay, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the bar.
After a few minutes, as the lights went out again and the nun came back out, the whole place stopped to give the nun a loud, enthusiastic round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink?” “No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun. “You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 28, 2016 11:07:07 GMT -5
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would go out. Each time this happened, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?” The bartender replied, “Okay, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the bar. After a few minutes, as the lights went out again and the nun came back out, the whole place stopped to give the nun a loud, enthusiastic round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?” “Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink?” “No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun. “You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.” There is/was a bar across the bay from me that had same guy with fig leaf. If memory serves a "bell" went off in the bar. Geeze, now it's gonna bug me about the name and if still there. This was back in my bar hopping days.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2016 0:21:19 GMT -5
Three questions asked for a Redneck Engineer... Question #1: How much does a house weigh? Question #2: How much weight can a rural two-lane bridge hold? Question #3: Would this be covered by home insurance, car insurance, or does it come under "Roadside Assistance"? source
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2016 12:21:55 GMT -5
2 minutes, 45 seconds of British humor.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 2, 2016 17:13:17 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 3, 2016 6:25:52 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2016 21:05:54 GMT -5
Been there... done that. LOL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2016 22:41:53 GMT -5
You know how I know that kids are spoiled nowadays? You never hear one of them bitching about dislocating their shoulder carrying around their "portable" stereo...
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Deleted
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Aug 9, 2016 0:49:04 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 0:49:04 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Aug 9, 2016 2:56:55 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 9, 2016 2:56:55 GMT -5
Is that the pizza slice lady
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Deleted
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Aug 9, 2016 4:32:53 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 4:32:53 GMT -5
Is that the pizza slice lady I know who you are talking about ... and I don't believe it is. (Plus it's just one of MANY YouTube videos with the same thing: People that can't figure out what E-Y-E-S spells...)
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NoNamePerson
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Aug 9, 2016 7:40:25 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 9, 2016 7:40:25 GMT -5
I was going to pull up the videos side by side to look but was on ipad and not best at that kinda of thing. Both are funny but I truly hope they are "staged" If not someone needs to get both girls a guide for walking around
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Deleted
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Aug 9, 2016 20:33:59 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 20:33:59 GMT -5
I did it to my wife and grandson when I got home (no video though, sorry). The both failed. My wife threw a shoe at me (missed) once I gave in and told her what "E-Y-E-S" spelled...
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Aug 9, 2016 21:11:37 GMT -5
One day, a man figured out what women want! And then he died!
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NoNamePerson
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Aug 9, 2016 21:27:15 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 9, 2016 21:27:15 GMT -5
I did it to my wife and grandson when I got home (no video though, sorry). The both failed. My wife threw a shoe at me (missed) once I gave in and told her what "E-Y-E-S" spelled... You are one brave soul! Glad you are still with us.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 21:29:13 GMT -5
One day, a man figured out what women want! And then he diedwas murdered by the women! Fixed it for you...
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Virgil Showlion
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Aug 9, 2016 22:11:51 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Aug 9, 2016 22:11:51 GMT -5
I did it to my wife and grandson when I got home (no video though, sorry). The both failed. My wife threw a shoe at me (missed) once I gave in and told her what "E-Y-E-S" spelled... Try this one: Ask somebody what M-A-C-D-O-N-A-L-D spells. Ask them what M-A-C-G-R-E-G-O-R spells. Ask them what M-A-C-E-W-A-N spells. Ask them what M-A-C-I-N-T-Y-R-E spells. Ask them what M-A-C-H-I-N-E-S spells. About 50% of people will say "McHines" for the last one.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 11:37:33 GMT -5
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband Doug came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi Doug."
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Aug 11, 2016 17:23:57 GMT -5
What do you call a woman in the middle of a tennis court?? . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Wait for it.... . . . . . . . . . .
Wait for it..... . . . . . . . . . ...... Annette!
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
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Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Aug 11, 2016 17:54:51 GMT -5
Three questions asked for a Redneck Engineer... Question #1: How much does a house weigh? Question #2: How much weight can a rural two-lane bridge hold? Question #3: Would this be covered by home insurance, car insurance, or does it come under "Roadside Assistance"? sourceNow it's a covered bridge.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2016 9:44:01 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Aug 12, 2016 17:44:58 GMT -5
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings."
So I got her nothing.
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