Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 3, 2016 8:53:25 GMT -5
I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I had the worst vowel movement ever! ETA: for posting a marginally acceptable joke.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 3, 2016 9:38:35 GMT -5
I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I had the worst vowel movement ever! Maybe it made you inconsonant. My advice: letter rip.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 3, 2016 10:19:09 GMT -5
I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I had the worst vowel movement ever! I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I had the worst vowel movement ever! Maybe it made you inconsonant. My advice: letter rip. I think those are so bad they should be deleted. But going by the letter of the law, I guess they don't violate the COC. I do ask that you two mind your P's and Q's from here on.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 3, 2016 11:17:13 GMT -5
I was going to put down "R U O-K? U C N-E P-P?" but "inconsonant" won out. "Consonantstipated" was in third, but even I was cringing at that one.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Mar 3, 2016 13:21:46 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 3, 2016 16:06:29 GMT -5
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 3, 2016 16:07:54 GMT -5
I was going to put down "R U O-K? U C N-E P-P?" but "inconsonant" won out. "Consonantstipated" was in third, but even I was cringing at that one. Just sounds like someone is full of sh## to me.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 3, 2016 16:42:36 GMT -5
I was going to put down "R U O-K? U C N-E P-P?" but "inconsonant" won out. "Consonantstipated" was in third, but even I was cringing at that one. Just sounds like someone is full of sh## to me. was
Not after the alphabet soup, though.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 3, 2016 17:17:10 GMT -5
Come on folks, how long are we going to keep this going. We need to just letter go.
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Virgil Showlion
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Mar 3, 2016 17:56:22 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 3, 2016 17:56:22 GMT -5
Come on folks, how long are we going to keep this going. We need to just letter go. You're right. The character of this thread is, in a word, crappy. Let's wipe the slate clean or it will spell certain doom.
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Virgil Showlion
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Mar 4, 2016 18:35:13 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 4, 2016 18:35:13 GMT -5
Indeed. It was on this very board that I learned violence against men is commonplace. It was also on this board that I learned 40% of rape victims are men, which floored me. I'm not saying the perception of absurdity is something I endorse, but we agree it exists. We were required to attend sexual assault awareness training about every other day at my previous job, and I heard several times that the most common complaint was male-male sexual harassment. I was pretty shocked to hear that. But it also made me wonder how much of it was legitimate and how much was a "revenge" thing for a perceived slight or something. The closest I've come to being harassed in the workplace is by colleagues' occasional bouts of bad breath. How does one man sexually harass another one anyway? I know that putting a hand on somebody's shoulder is a sign of dominance (a boss is permitted to put a hand on the shoulder of an employee, but not vice versa), but I wouldn't consider that sexual harassment. I wouldn't consider brief back pats or butt pats harassment either, unless an employee makes it clear the contact makes them uncomfortable. What else are we talking about? I ask because I'd personally object to anything more overt. If my objection wasn't heeded, I can guarantee you my next step wouldn't be to file a complaint.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 4, 2016 18:47:45 GMT -5
On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."
"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."
"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sex, I don't wanna hear it!"
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billisonboard
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Mar 4, 2016 18:48:21 GMT -5
Post by billisonboard on Mar 4, 2016 18:48:21 GMT -5
We were required to attend sexual assault awareness training about every other day at my previous job, and I heard several times that the most common complaint was male-male sexual harassment. I was pretty shocked to hear that. But it also made me wonder how much of it was legitimate and how much was a "revenge" thing for a perceived slight or something. The closest I've come to being harassed in the workplace is by colleagues' occasional bouts of bad breath. How does one man sexually harass another one anyway? ... Do you have an idea of how a man would sexually harass a woman? A man would sexually harass another male basically the same way. "Nice ass." "Would you like to come to my place to discuss a promotion?"
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 4, 2016 18:49:18 GMT -5
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations.
The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late.
Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late".
The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?"
Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."
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Virgil Showlion
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Mar 4, 2016 19:17:55 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 4, 2016 19:17:55 GMT -5
The closest I've come to being harassed in the workplace is by colleagues' occasional bouts of bad breath. How does one man sexually harass another one anyway? ... Do you have an idea of how a man would sexually harass a woman? A man would sexually harass another male basically the same way. "Nice ass." "Would you like to come to my place to discuss a promotion?" I guess so. Not something I've ever had to deal with. Hopefully it will stay that way.
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Virgil Showlion
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Mar 4, 2016 19:20:57 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 4, 2016 19:20:57 GMT -5
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late". The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?" Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week." Years later, Johnny changed his name to "Donald" and eventually ran for President.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2016 22:17:16 GMT -5
Q: What do you find between the boobs of an eighty-two-year-old woman that you won't find between the boobs of a woman of 22 years in age?
A: Her navel.
*don't be mad at me... a woman told me that one!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 5, 2016 8:11:03 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Mar 6, 2016 1:20:07 GMT -5
Post by tigerpause on Mar 6, 2016 1:20:07 GMT -5
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Virgil Showlion
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Mar 6, 2016 9:45:05 GMT -5
Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 6, 2016 9:45:05 GMT -5
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Mar 6, 2016 15:22:57 GMT -5
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 6, 2016 15:22:57 GMT -5
He seems to be suffering a yeast infection.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 6, 2016 20:06:36 GMT -5
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 6, 2016 22:36:10 GMT -5
Told at a celebration for end of life.
The H knew his W was going to have twins. It was during the time when H's were not allowed in the delivery room. The nurse brought out twin one. H was delighted. Soon twin two came out. A short while later the nurse came out again.
He exclaimed, you can shut the machine down now. The third bundle was the dirty laundry.
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 7, 2016 1:12:20 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Mar 7, 2016 1:17:33 GMT -5
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 7, 2016 21:18:44 GMT -5
If a home school parent is talking to herself, is that a parent-teacher conference?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2016 22:51:28 GMT -5
A dedicated U.A.W. worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her," he said. "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2016 22:33:53 GMT -5
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 10, 2016 8:40:05 GMT -5
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 11, 2016 5:20:21 GMT -5
And so that it will never be said I'm anti-Republican only:
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