5 year old traveling with a friend

[midjd]

Yeah, I was an only child until age 6 and I invited a friend on just about every overnight trip we had...

[sheilaincali]

I have an only child and 98% of the time he is perfectly content. But if we are going somewhere fun for the weekend we encourage him to invite a friend. At that age two kids can pretty easily amuse each other. With just one kid there can be a decent amount of boredom and the parent is expected to entertain the kid at all times when he is awake. I am willing to bet it was a genuine offer to have the kid bring a friend with for the weekend.

[Gardening Grandma]

They don't have to be only children. Even teenagers like to bring friends along. I invite the g'sons friends when taking them on an outing. They enjoy it a lot more than just being with grandma.

[kgb18]

They don't have to be only children. Even teenagers like to bring friends along.

I wasn't saying they had to be only children, just that in my experience a lot of people with only children do invite another child along, for the reasons some others mentioned above. DH's nephew always brought friends along on our annual beach trips when he was a teenager.

[Deleted]

Too lazy to read the whole thread so if I`m repeating someone else, oh well. You are setting your son`s social patterns now. In these circumstances I would let him go. Encourage it even. The friend and mother sound great. The outing sounds like a lot of fun. Not letting him go for no good reason is teaching him to be less social.

[swamp]

Jun 24, 2011 15:39:09 GMT -5 AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP said:

Lots-o-reading here, but I'll bottom line it: not a chance in hell. My guess is they'd really like it if you said, "no" anyway. I think they're just offering so you can be the ones they blame for the bad news. Do they have a difficult time telling their kid, "no" and that's just the way it is?

Her son asked if my son could go so he would have someone to play with.

And she has no problem saying "no" to her son. She's pretty strict.

[debtheaven]

We all have our own barometers. I would let my son, if I trusted them, and it was somebody that he knew well AND HE WANTED TO GO.

This said, five is indeed young. If you and your DH agree, don't forget to ask your child. He could end up saying no, he doesn't want to be away for "two sleeps". (Unlikely IMO, but not impossible).

I have lived in my community since 1984 and sleepovers and taking kids away overnight or on vacation is very common here, amongst close friends.

[doxieluvr]

Personnally, i would let my child go. Put a digital leash (cell phone) in his pocket, check in with him a couple times a day. Sure your going to worry, but they wont be babies forever and we need to let them grow as individuals.

[doxieluvr]

I did not read everything, but later is spot on.

[debtheaven]

Lots-o-reading here, but I'll bottom line it: not a chance in hell. My guess is they'd really like it if you said, "no" anyway. I think they're just offering so you can be the ones they blame for the bad news. Do they have a difficult time telling their kid, "no" and that's just the way it is?

Wow! Just wow! Maybe SOME people really mean what they say?! We LOVE to have our kids' friends come along! Our kids don't bicker as much, and we see a different side of them.

[debtheaven]

Also, sorry, but your post just begs the question. Is that what YOU do when you'd prefer to say no?!

Personally, I'd just say no, not today / this weekend / this time. We generally only refuse friends on long family vacations (we couldn't afford the extra room for a long time), and abroad (duh).

This summer both DS1 and DS2 will have "flown the coop", and we're renting a beach house in France rather than going abroad. So DD and DS3 are both bringing a friend. DD's friend for one week, DS3's friend for two weeks. Then DS3's friend's mom (one of my closest friends) got jealous, LOL, so she's hoping to rent or stay in a hotel nearby with her DH and her other child for part of that time.

NOT because she doesn't trust us, but because "The more the merrier!"

[zibazinski]

I asked DF about this and he said "yes" he would let the kid go. But he also let his 15 year old step-daughter go to Japan to visit her Aunt by herself.

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2011 20:03:22 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I asked DF about this and he said "yes" he would let the kid go. But he also let his 15 year old step-daughter go to Japan to visit her Aunt by herself.

She would only be by herself on the plane. I would let a kid go to Japan with a trusted relative too! What an opportunity!

[Gardening Grandma]

Jun 25, 2011 8:55:43 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

Jun 24, 2011 20:03:22 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I asked DF about this and he said "yes" he would let the kid go. But he also let his 15 year old step-daughter go to Japan to visit her Aunt by herself.

She would only be by herself on the plane. I would let a kid go to Japan with a trusted relative too! What an opportunity!

I let my sons spend the summer in Japan (with my mother) when they were 4 and 7. They flew alone there and back. Repeated this for a number of years as they were growing up. They still talk about the things they did.

[zibazinski]

I would worry about it not being a direct flight and what if the connection was missed, the "works."

[Gardening Grandma]

Jun 25, 2011 9:39:15 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I would worry about it not being a direct flight and what if the connection was missed, the "works."

It was a direct flight (SF to Tokyo). i took them to the airport and to the gate. They were met on the other end.

[zibazinski]

This was not and it ended up being a nightmare in Minneapolis overnight with two frantic parents not feeling that she'd be okay sleeping in the airport alone overnight. But non-stop, I'd do it, too, and did, just not to Japan.

[Gardening Grandma]

Jun 25, 2011 9:47:50 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

This was not and it ended up being a nightmare in Minneapolis overnight with two frantic parents not feeling that she'd be okay sleeping in the airport alone overnight. But non-stop, I'd do it, too, and did, just not to Japan.

I'd think a 15 y/o would be able to handle that. (And I certainly can imagine the worry for parents). My sister and I flew alone from Tokyo to SF (with a connection in Vanc) when we were 14 and 16. (Both of us were pretty independent travelers by that time).
I think that now, with all of tbe security, airports are probably safter than then back then, when anyone could go anywhere in an airport.

[midjd]

Are there airline rules on children flying alone? A friend of mine flew to Greece to visit family at age 6 or 7, and I know a flight attendant was "in charge" of her until she was delivered to her aunt. Are there any restrictions you know of on these types of arrangements?

[happyscooter]

I didn't read all of the posts. But I will say that I had a few invites for my sons that I turned down because I knew how the parents drove. Speeders, no seatbelts, etc...

I also worked for a drug/alcohol treatment facility once and saw a few people I knew. I couldn't say 'hello' (not that I wanted to) but would I have been able to say 'yes' if one of my sons was invited to go spend the night at a friends house if I had seen the parents at the clinic?

[Gardening Grandma]

Jun 25, 2011 10:28:14 GMT -5 midjd said:

Are there airline rules on children flying alone? A friend of mine flew to Greece to visit family at age 6 or 7, and I know a flight attendant was "in charge" of her until she was delivered to her aunt. Are there any restrictions you know of on these types of arrangements?

Yes, they are called "Unaccompanied minors". There are some basic rules, but the policies vary a bit by airlines. United, for example, requires the service for children ages 5-11 and its optional from 11 to 17. They charge $99 for the service. A flight attendant is responsible for them during the flight. If a connection is required, the attendant turns them over to a chaperone who gets them on the connecting flight and they are assigned to the second attendant. The adult who picks them up has tp be pre-designated and show id.

You can get the details for each airline.

[midjd]

Thanks, GG! That would take a lot of the worry out of it for me (as a hypothetical parent).

[zibazinski]

That is the THEORY behind it but the REALITY is very different. I was asked by a "chaperone" to watch a child while she took the other to the bathroom. I could have been Chester the Molester. I'd have had a fit if someone I paid good money to left my kid with a stranger. Glad the days of my minor children flying are over.

[Gardening Grandma]

Jun 25, 2011 11:49:49 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

That is the THEORY behind it but the REALITY is very different. I was asked by a "chaperone" to watch a child while she took the other to the bathroom. I could have been Chester the Molester. I'd have had a fit if someone I paid good money to left my kid with a stranger. Glad the days of my minor children flying are over.

Wow!!! Just Wow!
An airline employee who did that took a huge risk. Not only to the child, but to their job. I'd have had a fit too.

[zibazinski]

Another reason for non-stop flights. It isn't fool proof but your chances are better.

[queenofcorona]

When my son was that age he was great buddies with a boy who lived a block away. I worked with the dad and our families knew each other well. The two boys often accompanied one other on family trips and none of the parents had qualms about it. I was the single mom in the scenario and I took the two on a few trips like a couple days at my sister & Bil's (6 flags, time in their pool, etc.) or to a ball game in Chicago, and they took my boy to the Dells and a ball game in St. Louis. We also knew we could count on one another should an emergency arise (I watched their kids overnight when the grandmother was being treated for cancer and had a few bad spells late at night) and family not be available. I don't think 5 is too young or three days too long, so long as you trust the other parent(s) and you feel your kid is ready. Personally, I tend to think the wandering thing less likely to occur when he has a playmate at his disposal to keep his curious mind better occupied. (I would make sure the other mom knew about the tendency so she'd be extra diligent about keeping an eye out for it.)

[cubefarmer]

Taking other kids with you on vacations is fairly common around here. It's more fun.

[zibazinski]

I feel sorry for the kid because there's no good reason for him not to go.

[Gardening Grandma]

I feel sorry for the kid because there's no good reason for him not to go.

As do I.

[zibazinski]

I wish someone would take me away for a few days to have fun.