Are men really that STUPID?

[Deleted]

Seriously... start thinking with your big head, not the little one.
Just find out a co-worker got fired yesterday after I left work (left early for dentist appointment) for sexual harassment.

This guy is freaking married with 3 kids. Freaking idiot!
Now you are out of a job, 3 kids to support and your wife might be leaving your ass.

My job has a zero tolerance for sexual harassment and he is the 4th person (that I know of, might be more since I work for a big company) in the past two years I have been with this company that got fired for it. Don't people get: don't shit were you eat!

First: No means No

Second: if you want to cheat on your wife/husband that is your business, but why put your job at risk? Even worse, legal issues. Do people need to get laid that bad? What? 5-30 minutes of pleasure worth it?

Third: I get it, you spend so many hours at work (average out to 10 hours/day for me) that it is easy to fall in love or get sexually attracted to the person you work with (a lot of dating/married couples at my job but you cannot work in the same department or same facility once legal and HR finds out about it) but be careful.

[jarhead1976]

Woman can be just as aggressive as men when it come's to getting to where they want to go. Married or not. Look at the reported increase of female teachers abusing young men.

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 7:37:23 GMT -5 @jarhead1976 said:

Woman can be just as aggressive as men when it come's to getting to where they want to go. Married or not. Look at the reported increase of female teachers abusing young men.

My bad... so can people really be that STUPID?
No offense, but I've had some great sex sessions in my life and none was worth my job or ending in jail.

[jarhead1976]

Obviously your upset , no worries. I agree not worth losing family, friends or job. Respects

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 7:52:58 GMT -5 @jarhead1976 said:

Obviously your upset , no worries. I agree not worth losing family, friends or job. Respects

Sorry, did not mean to get off on you, just I am upset. This guy is a total tool for doing this and I agree not worth it.

[zibazinski]

From the other side, it's a relief and a nice surprise that people get fired for that now. Most of us went thru it and either put up with it or left because nothing would ever get done. Props to your commpany.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nobody ever thinks they are going to get caught. Jim John got caught because he was stupid, *I* am smarter than Jim John and therefore will not get caught.

People can rationalize anything if they want to badly enough. The reason you don't get it caiwu is because you are not the type to do something like this.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

What did he do? Nearly anything can be considered harrassment. Even saying hello, good morning, etc., while passing in the corridor can be considered harrassment.

[Tiny]

Even saying hello, good morning, etc., while passing in the corridor can be considered harrassment.

There's usually something more to it than just a Hello or Good Morning while passing someone in the corridor....
Just saying... The part that's important is the Harrassment part - someone is made to feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't say the creepy mailguy who sez 'hello' to everyone he passes is harrassing me when he also sez 'hello' to me - in the same tone same way he sez it to everyone else even tho I think the guy is creepy.

Sounds like cawiau is talking about co-workers having sex - which I'm gonna assume was consensual. Many work places have rules against office romances.... While having consensual sex with a co-worker isn't 'sexual harrassment' -- it can lead to charges of sexual harrassment when the relationship goes bad...
Most charges of sexual harrassment don't involve actual sex.

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 9:20:30 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

What did he do? Nearly anything can be considered harrassment. Even saying hello, good morning, etc., while passing in the corridor can be considered harrassment.

Reviews are due this month. I have to review the 16 people that reports to me, same for the other department managers. After that, my boss has to sign off on it since raises are based on the review.

This lady got a bad review and was put on Job alert. She went to see him (not her boss, but her boss boss) about what she can do to keep her job.

All we know are the following:

- Her surpisor turned in the review with a 2 out of 5 (less than a 3 you are in trouble) and with Job Alert. When the review was turned in the comments were changed and overall grade from a 2 to a 3.5 (her boss kept a copy of the one she submitted).

- She had on her phone pictures of his genitals and of him naked that he sent her. In return he showed pictures that she sent him of her self naked, etc.

- He was fired immediately and she is suspended until completion of the internal investigation.

The can of worm was open when her boss find out that
- she was not suspended like she was supposed to
- got a raise (3 and above qualify you for the yearly raise) instead of being put on Job Alert.

so she reported her boss to HR.

[telephus44]

I had a boss once who had previously (at prior companies and prior to my hiring) had several "affairs." He always said the rule was "My wife comes first. My job comes second. Anything else comes third." So at least he agreed it wasn't worth getting divorced or fired over.

[skubikky]

Cawiau....it must be exhausting being the "Moral Monitor"?

[whoisjohngalt]

I must be stupid as well bc if two adults are sending naked pics of themselves to each other, "harassment" is not what comes to mind.

Lena

[RoadToRiches]

Very good friend of mine tells me stories that go on in the company I work for. What some guys say to her sometime. It boggles my mind when I hear it

The funny thing is, I see these guys in the office all the time. They have no idea what I know.

[RoadToRiches]

Apr 22, 2011 10:08:57 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

What is with sending naked genitalia pictures? That is just weird.

I know, right? I mean wtf?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

What is with sending naked genitalia pictures? That is just weird.

You won't be able to judge the size properly because you can't see the rest of him?

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:07:21 GMT -5 skubikky said:

Cawiau....it must be exhausting being the "Moral Monitor"?

I am not the Moral Monitor and when it comes to cheating I should be the last man to judge. I have done some stupid sh$t in my life and I am sure I have a few more to do.

I liked the guy, he is a good guy and that is what pissing me off. Why did he put himself in that situation? Was getting laid really worth losing not only his job, his family only source of income (his wife is a stay at home parent)?

I mean he is not the only one that is going to get affected by it. That is what is pissing me off. The cheating part is between him and his wife and I always believed that... but don't bring it to work, don't put your job in the balance.

[whoisjohngalt]

The cheating part is between him and his wife

And now I have to stop reading this thread, bc statements like that really rub me the wrong way....

Lena

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:08:22 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I must be stupid as well bc if two adults are sending naked pics of themselves to each other, "harassment" is not what comes to mind.

Lena

-> He is her superior
-> He changed her review so she could keep her job
-> She started sleeping with him

When she was called into HR , the rumor is that is what she said (I have no proof, it's a rumor from those that talked to the guy after he was fired). She told HR that he promised to change her review/let her keep her job in exchange for sexual favors.

[zibazinski]

Listen, I had a friend married to an eye doctor who lived in THE area and had all the bells and whistles that went along with it. Her husband cheated on her big time. When asked why she put up with it, her reply was why should she and her children suffer because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants? There are men and women who look the other way for reasons of their own. Not for me to judge.

[skweet]

[Sorry, did not mean to get off on you, just I am upset.]

Please, please, PLLLLLLEEEEESE tell me that this was a Freudian slip, and not intended humor.

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:15:37 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

The cheating part is between him and his wife

And now I have to stop reading this thread, bc statements like that really rub me the wrong way....

Lena

Why? I am not in their marriage? Is he a dick for cheating on his wife, sure... but that is my personal opinion.

But will I fire some of the people that work for me because they are cheating on their spouse? NO. Do I think less of them: yes. But as long as they are doing their job that is all I care about.

One of my wife friends caught her husband cheating at least twice that we know off and she took him back both time. Her business, not ours and we keep our mouth shut.That her life/her business.

I got burned telling a friend that his girlfriend cheated on him. Guess what? They are married now and guess who are no longer friends?

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:20:22 GMT -5 skweet said:

[Sorry, did not mean to get off on you, just I am upset.]

Please, please, PLLLLLLEEEEESE tell me that this was a Freudian slip, and not intended humor.

Yes it was a slip

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 7:47:04 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

My bad... so can people really be that STUPID?
No offense, but I've had some great sex sessions in my life and none was worth my job or ending in jail.

I agree. In a way, I've been fortunate- I've never been really attracted to any guy I worked with and I've never been sexually harrassed. Maybe it was a mental block- that I really didn't want to be attracted to someone I worked with. It made life a lot simpler.

Part of me thinks that there are so many people out there- why mess with someone at work? But I guess that attraction happens more often when you see each other 5 days a week during times when you're dressed up and on your best behavior. Your office mates don't know that you leave your dirty clothes all over the house and eat Doritos in bed. And, in the case you mentioned, you can use power to get what you wouldn't ordinarily get.

[Plain Old Petunia]

It doesn't sound like sexual harassment to me. It sounds like sexual favors in order to get ahead.

[busymom]

Having worked in large corporations, the current mentality is: if they cheat on their wife, they're probably cheating the company somehow. Whether it's true or not, I'm just sayin'...

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:38:25 GMT -5 Plain Old Petunia said:

It doesn't sound like sexual harassment to me. It sounds like sexual favors in order to get ahead.

Quid pro quo sexual harassment

Quid pro quo means "this for that". In the workplace, this occurs when a job benefit is directly tied to an employee submitting to unwelcome sexual advances. For example, a supervisor promises an employee a raise if he or she will go out on a date with him or her, or tells an employee he or she will be fired if he or she doesn't sleep with him or her.[28] Quid pro quo harassment also occurs when an employee makes an evaluative decision, or provides or withholds professional opportunities based on another employee's submission to verbal, nonverbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. Quid pro quo harassment is equally unlawful whether the victim resists and suffers the threatened harm or submits and thus avoids the threatened harm

[Phoenix84]

The situation you described didn't sound like harrassment. It sounds like two adults had a consenual office affair and favors were exchanged. If one person is going to be let go, both probably should. Especially if this woman was on probation for poor performance anyway.

As an aside, I never understood affairs, sexual harrasment, people sending naked pictures either.... I like to think I have more class than that, but maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend. Perhaps this is the way people court each other these days?

Anyway, almost all of the women I work with are old enough to be my mom, so I have no temptation to start with.

[Plain Old Petunia]

But the person who complained was a third party, not either involved party. Does sexual harassment now extend to other parties? If any two people in your company are having a sexual relationship, then every other employee in your company is being sexually harassed?

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2011 10:44:20 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

The situation you described didn't sound like harrassment. It sounds like two adults had a consenual office affair and favors were exchanged. If one person is going to be let go, both probably should. Especially if this woman was on probation for poor performance anyway.

As an aside, I never understood affairs, sexual harrasment, people sending naked pictures either.... I like to think I have more class than that, but maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend. Perhaps this is the way people court each other these days?

Phenoix, I am getting married in a month and am 26. That is not how anyone has ever "courted" me. I think I would have slapped them.