giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 22, 2019 8:18:00 GMT -5
After my parents were divorced, and my mom moved to NYC, she had issues with getting credit cards. She actually saved copies of letters she had to send to credit card companies to escalate not getting approval for a BS reason. They claimed that they couldn't verify her employment and pay from her employer. At the time, she worked for a small company as the bookkeeper/default HR person. She said no one even tried to contact the company because the call would have been routed to her. That was in the late 70's/maybe early 80's. I'll need to dig out the letter. One of the creditor's was Sears, and she said that she was planning on getting a house and purchasing a bunch of appliances, and they wouldn't get any of her business. Something I still keep in mind as it really wasn't all that long ago. I hammer this home with DD1 all the time. It helps that she still thinks grandma is young (grandma is in early 70s). For her it, really hits home when I say "grandma was X old when this happened. Or I was X old when that happened...or it was only 10 years before I was born when z happened. DD1 is especially interested in civil rights history. I'm doing what I can to expose her to it. I figure the more she understands we've not really evolved much, over the past 50-60 years, as a society, the better equipped she will be an agent of change in the future. I think that's going to be her thing as a future adult, and I want to nurture that the best I can.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 22, 2019 11:18:05 GMT -5
Quit yer bitchin' woman. I'm hungry. One state over: Talibanissippi. Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceA Republican state lawmaker in Mississippi was arrested after he allegedly punched his wife for not undressing quickly enough when he wanted to have sex, according to a report from The Sun Herald. State Rep. Douglas McLeod, 58, was intoxicated when deputies arrived at his home around 9 p.m. Saturday, according to an investigative report from the George County Sheriff’s Department obtained by the newspaper. Deputies arrived at his Lucedale home after receiving a call about an assault and were met at the door by McLeod, who was reportedly stumbling, speaking with slurred speech and holding an alcoholic drink. Article here: Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violence
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 22, 2019 11:39:15 GMT -5
Quit yer bitchin' woman. I'm hungry. One state over: Talibanissippi. Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceA Republican state lawmaker in Mississippi was arrested after he allegedly punched his wife for not undressing quickly enough when he wanted to have sex, according to a report from The Sun Herald. State Rep. Douglas McLeod, 58, was intoxicated when deputies arrived at his home around 9 p.m. Saturday, according to an investigative report from the George County Sheriff’s Department obtained by the newspaper. Deputies arrived at his Lucedale home after receiving a call about an assault and were met at the door by McLeod, who was reportedly stumbling, speaking with slurred speech and holding an alcoholic drink. Article here: Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceTwo scared women locked in a room, and this guy is hammering on the door threatening to kill the dog if they don't open the door.
Toxic masculinity spoils the party again.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 22, 2019 14:28:56 GMT -5
Alabama......no abortions, no same sex marriage, no....... When do the book burnings start? BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Alabama Public Television has chosen not to air an episode of the PBS children’s show “Arthur” because it included a same-sex wedding. The episode “Mr. Ratburn and the Special Someone” aired nationally on May 13, showing Arthur attending the wedding of his teacher and partner. APT showed a re-run instead. windsorstar.com/entertainment/television/aWell obviously when talking about right to life they don't mean you can be gay while living it.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 22, 2019 14:43:15 GMT -5
Quit yer bitchin' woman. I'm hungry. One state over: Talibanissippi. Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceA Republican state lawmaker in Mississippi was arrested after he allegedly punched his wife for not undressing quickly enough when he wanted to have sex, according to a report from The Sun Herald. State Rep. Douglas McLeod, 58, was intoxicated when deputies arrived at his home around 9 p.m. Saturday, according to an investigative report from the George County Sheriff’s Department obtained by the newspaper. Deputies arrived at his Lucedale home after receiving a call about an assault and were met at the door by McLeod, who was reportedly stumbling, speaking with slurred speech and holding an alcoholic drink. Article here: Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceFamily values at their finest. Make America Great Again, you know, back when you could beat your wife.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 22, 2019 15:24:53 GMT -5
One state over: Talibanissippi. Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceA Republican state lawmaker in Mississippi was arrested after he allegedly punched his wife for not undressing quickly enough when he wanted to have sex, according to a report from The Sun Herald. State Rep. Douglas McLeod, 58, was intoxicated when deputies arrived at his home around 9 p.m. Saturday, according to an investigative report from the George County Sheriff’s Department obtained by the newspaper. Deputies arrived at his Lucedale home after receiving a call about an assault and were met at the door by McLeod, who was reportedly stumbling, speaking with slurred speech and holding an alcoholic drink. Article here: Mississippi state GOP lawmaker charged with domestic violenceFamily values at their finest. Make America Great Again, you know, back when you could beat your wife. Just don't forget to put on your, made in China, MAGA hat while at it
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 22, 2019 15:50:36 GMT -5
Family values at their finest. Make America Great Again, you know, back when you could beat your wife. Just don't forget to put on your, made in China, MAGA hat while at it ...and buy your meds from Canada. That's Trump's MAGA health care plan.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 22, 2019 16:29:35 GMT -5
I got a credit card in my own name, it was the 70's or 80's. Before that very hard to get and I needed it to travel. I was one of the first women to be an accountant on a construction project, prior to me they were all men. The women were only secretaries.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on May 22, 2019 18:28:53 GMT -5
. What the hell?!?
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 22, 2019 18:52:49 GMT -5
Wow is all I can say.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on May 22, 2019 19:19:05 GMT -5
In the 80's I was living and working in Texas. I wanted to make a change in my investment plan on my 401K. At the bottom of the form (the company was in both Texas and Louisiana), it clearly stated that a married woman living in Louisiana would need her husband's signature to make any changes on HER 401K. Does that have anything to do with co-ownership/marital property? I can change my investments, but I am pretty sure I can't change my beneficiary without my husband signing off on it - b/c marital property says it is 1/2 his. It is not discriminatory, b/c if he had a 401K, I would have the same right. My husband could make any changes he wanted without my signature
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 22, 2019 20:22:30 GMT -5
Texas is a community property state, likely that was why??
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on May 22, 2019 20:34:51 GMT -5
Texas is a community property state, likely that was why?? The form stated that if you lived in Louisiana, and were a woman, your husband had to sign as well. This was in 1980 and applied only to married women in Louisiana. It did not apply to married men. Back in 1918, my great grandmother inherited property from her grandfather. She could not sell it without her husband’s signature giving his consent. Also in Louisiana
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2019 7:51:53 GMT -5
I think now all 401ks need spouse to sign something if you change your beneficiary away from them. But the owning spouse can change anything else unilaterally.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 23, 2019 10:21:04 GMT -5
It is all kind of pathetic when you really think about it...most of the Republican party has spent the last 40-50 years wanting to go back in time. Reminds me of the star quarterback in high school that is still talking about "the good old days" in his 40's and 50's. Everyone else has moved on but this guy is still sitting around thinking about how things used to be... It really doesn't get more pathetic than people wanting to move backwards rather than forwards.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 23, 2019 11:17:13 GMT -5
It is all kind of pathetic when you really think about it...most of the Republican party has spent the last 40-50 years wanting to go back in time. Reminds me of the star quarterback in high school that is still talking about "the good old days" in his 40's and 50's. Everyone else has moved on but this guy is still sitting around thinking about how things used to be... It really doesn't get more pathetic than people wanting to move backwards rather than forwards.
what's pathetic about it is people seem to forget about what it was really like in the 40's and 50's. They think it was like Leave it to Beaver or Mayberry. They forget about the back alley abortions, the women trapped in abusive marriages because beating your wife was just something that happened sometimes, and beating your kids was just good discipline. Gays and minorities could be harassed/beaten and even killed without making a ripple in the news media. No one had ever heard of pollution controls, equal pay, or fair housing. Girls were funneled into a handful of 'acceptable' career paths, although mostly, they were expected to stay home.
We need a revival of the movie "Pleasantville."
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 23, 2019 11:49:31 GMT -5
It is all kind of pathetic when you really think about it...most of the Republican party has spent the last 40-50 years wanting to go back in time. Reminds me of the star quarterback in high school that is still talking about "the good old days" in his 40's and 50's. Everyone else has moved on but this guy is still sitting around thinking about how things used to be... It really doesn't get more pathetic than people wanting to move backwards rather than forwards.
what's pathetic about it is people seem to forget about what it was really like in the 40's and 50's. They think it was like Leave it to Beaver or Mayberry. They forget about the back alley abortions, the women trapped in abusive marriages because beating your wife was just something that happened sometimes, and beating your kids was just good discipline. Gays and minorities could be harassed/beaten and even killed without making a ripple in the news media. No one had ever heard of pollution controls, equal pay, or fair housing. Girls were funneled into a handful of 'acceptable' career paths, although mostly, they were expected to stay home.
We need a revival of the movie "Pleasantville."
I don't know if they forget or if they really DO believe it was Leave it to Beaver land. My father is a prime example...he is a 72 year old white man that grew up in farm country. In his mind none of the things you mentioned seem to exist because he didn't personally experience them. I have heard countless times about how his grandparents were sharecroppers and they worked along side minorities. Seemed like they were all friends to him so the fact that interracial marriages were forbidden, people couldn't sit down in restaurants together, etc. didn't matter. His experience of living in the middle of nowhere is all that mattered. Another thing I keep hearing is that there was only child he knew that had a mental disability when he was kid so he can't figure out why there are all these autistic kids now...well, duh...you went to school with about 20 kids. Of course, there was only one kid you knew with a disability.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2019 12:14:54 GMT -5
what's pathetic about it is people seem to forget about what it was really like in the 40's and 50's. They think it was like Leave it to Beaver or Mayberry. They forget about the back alley abortions, the women trapped in abusive marriages because beating your wife was just something that happened sometimes, and beating your kids was just good discipline. Gays and minorities could be harassed/beaten and even killed without making a ripple in the news media. No one had ever heard of pollution controls, equal pay, or fair housing. Girls were funneled into a handful of 'acceptable' career paths, although mostly, they were expected to stay home.
We need a revival of the movie "Pleasantville."
I don't know if they forget or if they really DO believe it was Leave it to Beaver land. My father is a prime example...he is a 72 year old white man that grew up in farm country. In his mind none of the things you mentioned seem to exist because he didn't personally experience them. I have heard countless times about how his grandparents were sharecroppers and they worked along side minorities. Seemed like they were all friends to him so the fact that interracial marriages were forbidden, people couldn't sit down in restaurants together, etc. didn't matter. His experience of living in the middle of nowhere is all that mattered. Another thing I keep hearing is that there was only child he knew that had a mental disability when he was kid so he can't figure out why there are all these autistic kids now...well, duh...you went to school with about 20 kids. Of course, there was only one kid you knew with a disability. We also kept them out of "regular" schools.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 23, 2019 13:32:48 GMT -5
It is all kind of pathetic when you really think about it...most of the Republican party has spent the last 40-50 years wanting to go back in time. Reminds me of the star quarterback in high school that is still talking about "the good old days" in his 40's and 50's. Everyone else has moved on but this guy is still sitting around thinking about how things used to be... It really doesn't get more pathetic than people wanting to move backwards rather than forwards.
It's a biological reaction to change. Let's be honest for as much as we are complaining now there have been HUGE changes in the past 50-60 years. Add onto that gay people can now get married, we elected a black president TWICE and a woman came very close to becoming president. On top of that the world is becoming more globally connected and we are on the precipice of a new industrial revolution as technology continues to advance and become more affordable. That makes people scared. Now what our elected officials should be doing is encouraging and guiding us thru the changes to a better future. We should be rejecting the fear based political ploys thrown at us. That is what we did with George Wallace. This time we went backwards. When you are scared there is nothing that gives more comfort than having someone to step on/look down at. Trump handed them exactly that with his "build a wall" chant. I can't say all these people are bad/evil people because we're all programmed with the same knee jerk reaction to change because change/the unknown back when we evolved likely meant our deaths. Trump appeared on the scene at the right moment in time. What I desperately hope is all this is the last dying gasp of the rich white man and that once he is out of office a new world can begin.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 23, 2019 13:35:44 GMT -5
what's pathetic about it is people seem to forget about what it was really like in the 40's and 50's. They think it was like Leave it to Beaver or Mayberry. They forget about the back alley abortions, the women trapped in abusive marriages because beating your wife was just something that happened sometimes, and beating your kids was just good discipline. Gays and minorities could be harassed/beaten and even killed without making a ripple in the news media. No one had ever heard of pollution controls, equal pay, or fair housing. Girls were funneled into a handful of 'acceptable' career paths, although mostly, they were expected to stay home.
We need a revival of the movie "Pleasantville."
I don't know if they forget or if they really DO believe it was Leave it to Beaver land. My father is a prime example...he is a 72 year old white man that grew up in farm country. In his mind none of the things you mentioned seem to exist because he didn't personally experience them. I have heard countless times about how his grandparents were sharecroppers and they worked along side minorities. Seemed like they were all friends to him so the fact that interracial marriages were forbidden, people couldn't sit down in restaurants together, etc. didn't matter. His experience of living in the middle of nowhere is all that mattered. Another thing I keep hearing is that there was only child he knew that had a mental disability when he was kid so he can't figure out why there are all these autistic kids now...well, duh...you went to school with about 20 kids. Of course, there was only one kid you knew with a disability. But that is so easy to do. I am only a few years younger than your father but it took me until the mid-80s to start getting even a glimmer of understanding to some of the problems you describe (not the racial problem since that manifested differently in my country; not that it was totally absent). But I never even heard or read about domestic abuse until then. I come from a very non-violent background and it never occured to me that a man could beat up his partner and she would not leave? I never heard about kids being tortured by their parents. It was totally alien to me. And then I got a hold of the book "the burning bed" and I was shocked to the bottom of my soul. It started a period of research/reading for me that has never stopped.
The only thing that I personally experienced was that girls were "less than" in college (chemistry major) and later in the corporate world and I was not very quiet about it. But these other things they were just hidden from my view and if I had not woken up in the 80's I might well still be like your father is now...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2019 14:41:03 GMT -5
I don't know if they forget or if they really DO believe it was Leave it to Beaver land. My father is a prime example...he is a 72 year old white man that grew up in farm country. In his mind none of the things you mentioned seem to exist because he didn't personally experience them. I have heard countless times about how his grandparents were sharecroppers and they worked along side minorities. Seemed like they were all friends to him so the fact that interracial marriages were forbidden, people couldn't sit down in restaurants together, etc. didn't matter. His experience of living in the middle of nowhere is all that mattered. Another thing I keep hearing is that there was only child he knew that had a mental disability when he was kid so he can't figure out why there are all these autistic kids now...well, duh...you went to school with about 20 kids. Of course, there was only one kid you knew with a disability. We also kept them out of "regular" schools. and put them in facilities.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 23, 2019 15:02:50 GMT -5
Texas is a community property state, likely that was why?? The form stated that if you lived in Louisiana, and were a woman, your husband had to sign as well. This was in 1980 and applied only to married women in Louisiana. It did not apply to married men. Back in 1918, my great grandmother inherited property from her grandfather. She could not sell it without her husband’s signature giving his consent. Also in Louisiana It’s considered marital property. I had to sign off on a mortgage on a house my ex owned even though I was not on the deed. He had to waive rights to property I bought in Florida, too. Those are not sexist laws.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on May 23, 2019 15:18:02 GMT -5
The form stated that if you lived in Louisiana, and were a woman, your husband had to sign as well. This was in 1980 and applied only to married women in Louisiana. It did not apply to married men. Back in 1918, my great grandmother inherited property from her grandfather. She could not sell it without her husband’s signature giving his consent. Also in Louisiana It’s considered marital property. I had to sign off on a mortgage on a house my ex owned even though I was not on the deed. He had to waive rights to property I bought in Florida, too. Those are not sexist laws. She's not talking about dividing assets in a divorce. Completely different situation. Also, a law that applies to one gender and not the other is the literal definition of sexism.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 23, 2019 15:22:48 GMT -5
It’s considered marital property. I had to sign off on a mortgage on a house my ex owned even though I was not on the deed. He had to waive rights to property I bought in Florida, too. Those are not sexist laws. She's not talking about dividing assets in a divorce. Completely different situation. Also, a law that applies to one gender and not the other is the literal definition of sexism.
Except this was years before we got divorced. Real estate is considered marital property even though I wasn't on his deed and he wasn't on mine. Neither of us could get mortgages without the other signing off on it. The fact that he is now my ex years later has nothing to do with anything. Given the fact that both genders had to sign off it is literally not the definition of sexism.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on May 23, 2019 15:36:10 GMT -5
She's not talking about dividing assets in a divorce. Completely different situation. Also, a law that applies to one gender and not the other is the literal definition of sexism.
Except this was years before we got divorced. Real estate is considered marital property even though I wasn't on his deed and he wasn't on mine. Neither of us could get mortgages without the other signing off on it. The fact that he is now my ex years later has nothing to do with anything. Given the fact that both genders had to sign off it is literally not the definition of sexism. You were not reading her post correctly. She said that the law explicitly stated it applied to married women and not to married men. You said that's not sexist, I am pointing out that it is the literal definition of sexism.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 23, 2019 15:40:48 GMT -5
Except this was years before we got divorced. Real estate is considered marital property even though I wasn't on his deed and he wasn't on mine. Neither of us could get mortgages without the other signing off on it. The fact that he is now my ex years later has nothing to do with anything. Given the fact that both genders had to sign off it is literally not the definition of sexism. You were not reading her post correctly. She said that the law explicitly stated it applied to married women and not to married men. You said that's not sexist, I am pointing out that it is the literal definition of sexism. For the retirement account it did. She did not say anything about that regarding her grandmother selling real estate, which is what I replying to.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 23, 2019 15:46:14 GMT -5
You were not reading her post correctly. She said that the law explicitly stated it applied to married women and not to married men. You said that's not sexist, I am pointing out that it is the literal definition of sexism. For the retirement account it did. She did not say anything about that regarding her grandmother selling real estate, which is what I replying to. It was inherited property though...I thought when you inherited real estate and/or money that doesn't fall under communal property (I could be wrong). Considering her grandmother was selling property back in 1918 the laws have probably changed a great deal.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 23, 2019 15:56:00 GMT -5
For the retirement account it did. She did not say anything about that regarding her grandmother selling real estate, which is what I replying to. It was inherited property though...I thought when you inherited property and/or money that doesn't fall under communal property (I could be wrong). Considering her grandmother was selling property back in 1918 the laws have probably changed a great deal. Nope. Inherited in my husbands cass too. I actually had to sign off when he sold his mothers house. I forgot about that. But a quick google search will explain why
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 23, 2019 15:59:12 GMT -5
It was inherited property though...I thought when you inherited property and/or money that doesn't fall under communal property (I could be wrong). Considering her grandmother was selling property back in 1918 the laws have probably changed a great deal. Nope. Inherited in my husbands cass too. I actually had to sign off when he sold his mothers house. I forgot about that. But a quick google search will explain why Okay, I just looked it up (if legal zoom can be considered a reliable source - ha). It states that an inheritance is kept separate except in the case of a divorce.
ETA: And it looks like even in the case of a divorce there are very limited reasons as to why it would be divided. You can keep an inheritance completely separate from marital property if you want.
I can't find anything via google that would be a reason why you would need to sign off on any property your husband inherited from his mother.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2019 16:01:32 GMT -5
They were hidden. We had one "special" girl that rode on our bus. She got off at school and then got on another bus that took her to the "special" school with all the other kids with special needs. And we did not call them special. We had one word for anyone nueral a-typical. Actually, we occasionally called people with Downs Mongolians.
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