Company holiday party - wwyd

[MJ2.0]

For those of you who haven't seen my numerous rants/complaints, I HATE my job, can't stand my boss, and can tolerate very few of my colleagues. Tomorrow night is the company holiday party, and it's in the city. That would probably be all the reason I need to not go, but I'm going to be in the city office that day.

On one hand, I can make an appearance for a little while, pretend to get to know the people I interact with daily (most of those I interact with are in the city office), and make myself look like less of a weirdo (not sure if people think I am, but I do not fit in at all with this company culture).

But on the other hand, I'll have been up since 5 am and will have at least a 2.5 commute there and back (drive to train station, take train to city, take subway to office then the opposite to go home). Work ends at 6, so I wouldn't be getting home til after 10pm if I stayed for just 30-45 mins. Then of course we're expected at work bright and early the next day.

WWYD?

[Opti]

I would make an appearance and leave early. It will be remembered that you showed up, plus you might find people in the company you connect with better if you are there.

What day is the party? Will you only have perhaps Friday to be in the office before having the weekend off or ?

[zibazinski]

Stop in for a few minutes then go home

[MJ2.0]

Party is tomorrow - Tuesday.

[plugginaway22]

Agree, make an appearance.

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2017 7:48:23 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Party is tomorrow - Tuesday.

Go. Wednesday the temp will drop. Odds are any managers that go to the party will roll in late on Wednesday. You can probably afford to be somewhat late to work, depending on your position.

[MJ2.0]

Dec 11, 2017 7:52:06 GMT -5 Opti said:

Dec 11, 2017 7:48:23 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Party is tomorrow - Tuesday.

Go. Wednesday the temp will drop. Odds are any managers that go to the party will roll in late on Wednesday. You can probably afford to be somewhat late to work, depending on your position.

My boss is basically married to his job and will definitely be at work on time the next day.

[wvugurl26]

I understand the long day and crappy hours. It is probably good to show up for a few minutes. If you weren't already in the city, I would say skip it. I think it would look bad since you will be there to not put in an appearance.

[alabamagal]

I would skip it.

[NoNamePerson]

Show up for a few and then can you call in sick on Wednesday - something you ate at party just didn't agree with you maybe - put them blame on them

[Deleted]

I would skip it, but I've skipped pretty much every company Christmas party since I've started working.  They're just not my thing.

[giramomma]

Go. Just for a few minutes. Say hi..grab a bit of food/drink, and leave.


I know you don't want to, and I wouldn't either. But, it may be in your better interests to do so.

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2017 7:56:34 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Dec 11, 2017 7:52:06 GMT -5 Opti said:

Go. Wednesday the temp will drop. Odds are any managers that go to the party will roll in late on Wednesday. You can probably afford to be somewhat late to work, depending on your position.

My boss is basically married to his job and will definitely be at work on time the next day.

Sorry. Its tough when you get one of those. Is your boss one that expects every one to work like him?

[flamingo]

I hate, HATE company Christmas parties (I call them "forced family fun"). However, I really think you should go. Even just for a few minutes. You can always use the excuse that you have a long commute home to leave early, but it will be so much better for you in the long run to go. 

I also always plan my strategy before I go. So, my boss will be there, his boss will be there, and a few other key players. I'm like a heat seeking missile and make small talk with just those people, then say hi to my office group, and scoot on out. I'm not going to socialize and have fun, I'm going to make it known that I'm a team player and belong in the group. And that can be done by interacting briefly with those key people. Plus, those key people have to talk to everyone else, so once we've all said hi, what a great party, etc etc, they're ready to move on and won't remember when I left, only that I was there.

It's worth the long day to do this, MJ!

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2017 8:28:36 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Show up for a few and then can you call in sick on Wednesday - something you ate at party just didn't agree with you maybe - put them blame on them

Or for bonus points, go in Wednesday and call out Thursday. You will have the added benefit of the hours and temp drop to likely put you under the weather.

Do watch the party food. Sometimes it does make you sick. Avoid anything that gives off the don't touch me vibe.

[Deleted]

I would skip and have a good excuse if pressed about it.

I’m ditching mine this year.

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2017 8:31:22 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I would skip it, but I've skipped pretty much every company Christmas party since I've started working.  They're just not my thing.

Some are fun, some suck. I don't know when our Christmas party is, but I will try to show up even if I am still sick for my hour of aliveness. Our party usually includes managers and others one may not see during the year on site. Plus, people are usually dressed up and its worth seeing people in RL clothes versus scrubs, polo shirts, or other uniforms. (Mostly the grunts, but still informative.)

I skipped one year because I was really angry my nemesis screwed me over yet again. She's no longer there, but it also was unwise to skip because its my chance to appear different as well. Ours could be this Thursday or Saturday, but since so many people are out sick or on reduced duty I'm hoping it ends up the following week perhaps Thursday Dec. 21, if I could pick a date.

[milee]

Do what Flamingo described.  Wasn't there some funny bit on a TV show or movie about how you only have to encounter someone 3 times at a party before you can get the heck out but still get credit for coming?

Since you rely on this job for income until you get another, skip the idea of not going in the next morning and never talk to your boss about temperature change making you sick.  Once you get the reputation of a slacker, you'll never shake it even when you are truly sick.  

[milee]

OK, remembered.  It was Jill Kargman.  She has to sneak out of an obligation early, so she uses the "Rule of Three".  Here's how Entertainment Weekly describes it:

ew.com/article/2015/07/27/odd-mom-out-sneak-peek-rule-of-three/

"Thanks to Odd Mom Out, however, we now have the best early party exit ever devised by (wo)man. In an exclusive sneak peek at Monday’s episode, Jill (Jill Kargman) finds herself overbooked and needs to duck out early from a N.A.C.H.O. (New Yorkers Against Childhood Obesity) gala in order to attend Vanessa’s (K.K. Glick) birthday party, which she will absolutely not throw at 9 p.m. (“I’m turning 40, not 25.”)



So, Jill decides to execute the “rule of three”: “I just put myself in front of the hostess three separate times. ‘Woohoo! Party rockin’! Soooo s—faced.’ And then, no matter how early I bail, she’d swear I closed the place down. Works every time.”

[TheOtherMe]

When I was working, I never went to Christmas parties.  I hate gatherings period.

[Deleted]

Our company quit doing them entirely about 10 years ago.  Good riddance to that annoying tradition that people just went to because they felt obligated to.   Now they just have a "holiday dinner" catered at work.  I go down and get my turkey and bring it back to my cube. 

[MJ2.0]

Dec 11, 2017 8:59:13 GMT -5 milee said:

Do what Flamingo described.  Wasn't there some funny bit on a TV show or movie about how you only have to encounter someone 3 times at a party before you can get the heck out but still get credit for coming?

Since you rely on this job for income until you get another, skip the idea of not going in the next morning and never talk to your boss about temperature change making you sick.  Once you get the reputation of a slacker, you'll never shake it even when you are truly sick.  

for all the after hours and weekend working I do, I'd LOVE for my boss to call me a slacker.  I'd laugh, tell him to f**k himself, and then leave.  And he'd have to go back to doing it all himself.

[MJ2.0]

Dec 11, 2017 9:22:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Our company quit doing them entirely about 10 years ago.  Good riddance to that annoying tradition that people just went to because they felt obligated to.   Now they just have a "holiday dinner" catered at work.  I go down and get my turkey and bring it back to my cube. 

they did a T-Day pot luck lunch.  My other colleague under my boss (we are both the only ones at the NJ office) were invited.  Uh yeah, we're going to schlep to the city for a 2 hour lunch and then back to a mountain of work that we'll then have to stay late to complete.  No thank you.

[MJ2.0]

SIGH.... fiiiiiiine.

I'll find my boss, his boss, the CEO, a handful of other colleagues, and the colleagues at my home office.  Then I'm OUT.  25 mins max.

[giramomma]

I generally *do* skip out on Christmas parties now.

But, one of my co-workers is also god parent to one of my kids. And one of my former bosses sees us outside of work a few times a year and is very good to us and our kids.

I've also been at my job for 17 years now, and so I don't have to "prove" that I'm a team player as much anymore. And, how I do is more valuable (like getting all my major work done through the end of January so to that there's actually very little my co-workers have to do for me while I'm gone full time.)

I'm also not going to be promoted within because I'm not in a position that allows for that. The only way I'm getting promoted is if I move out.

I also don't have to worry about them sabotaging recommendations if I move on.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Given the culture and the problems you are already having I would go.   It's good PR.

We got socializing in these situations down a science.  We know the three people we need to make sure we are seen with and we zero on those people like a laser beam (owner, direct boss, boss of boss) and then we rotate around the room for a bit to make small talk with other people ending with the same three people we started with. 


I would absolutely not skip work or try to sneak in late the next day.   That would erase all the PR work you just did at the dinner.  If your boss is married to his job and expects you to be, rolling in at noon or playing hookey is sending up a big ole middle finger.   You don't need a target on your back.

[andi9899]

I wouldn't go 2.5 hours out of my way to stay 30 minutes somewhere and leave. Especially for a job I hate and am looking to replace. That's just me though.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dec 11, 2017 9:36:53 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I wouldn't go 2.5 hours out of my way to stay 30 minutes somewhere and leave. Especially for a job I hate and am looking to replace. That's just me though.

MJ doesn't have a foot out the door just yet though.   Until she does it pays to play the game.

[milee]

Dec 11, 2017 9:36:53 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I wouldn't go 2.5 hours out of my way to stay 30 minutes somewhere and leave. Especially for a job I hate and am looking to replace. That's just me though.

I wouldn't either.  But unless I misunderstand MJ's OP, she'll already be near to the location of the party so she won't be traveling 2.5 hours to get there or return.

[Opti]

Dec 11, 2017 9:24:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Dec 11, 2017 9:22:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Our company quit doing them entirely about 10 years ago.  Good riddance to that annoying tradition that people just went to because they felt obligated to.   Now they just have a "holiday dinner" catered at work.  I go down and get my turkey and bring it back to my cube. 

they did a T-Day pot luck lunch.  My other colleague under my boss (we are both the only ones at the NJ office) were invited.  Uh yeah, we're going to schlep to the city for a 2 hour lunch and then back to a mountain of work that we'll then have to stay late to complete.  No thank you.

The trials of being a satellite office. NYC rules, so this is actually the better event to attend.