MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 9:42:42 GMT -5
this whole "married to the job" convo has me with another question....
should he expect me to treat this job the same as he treats his job? Bosses, if you're a workaholic, do you expect your subordinates to be the same?
Maybe I don't understand this specific industry (can't give too many details, but I'm not doing retail supply chain anymore), but being married to your job isn't IMO something to be shouting from the rooftops. If it's your own business I 100% get it. If it isn't, it's kinda sad (to me). For what I do, I'd expect that everyone works during normal hours and does the occasional after hours weekend work as needed - not be working normally and "on call" all other hours.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 9:44:45 GMT -5
I wouldn't go 2.5 hours out of my way to stay 30 minutes somewhere and leave. Especially for a job I hate and am looking to replace. That's just me though. I wouldn't either. But unless I misunderstand MJ's OP, she'll already be near to the location of the party so she won't be traveling 2.5 hours to get there or return. correct. I still don't know the exact location of the party (just more reasons I can't stand it here) but it's not at the office. It's in the city - that's all I know at this point.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Dec 11, 2017 9:44:59 GMT -5
I wouldn't go 2.5 hours out of my way to stay 30 minutes somewhere and leave. Especially for a job I hate and am looking to replace. That's just me though. I wouldn't either. But unless I misunderstand MJ's OP, she'll already be near to the location of the party so she won't be traveling 2.5 hours to get there or return. I think Andi is confusing the TG day lunch which is already over, with the party which is tomorrow when MJ is already in the city. She can always window shop to kill time if she needs to.
Where's the home office and the party MJ, if you are willing to let us know?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 11, 2017 9:54:45 GMT -5
this whole "married to the job" convo has me with another question.... should he expect me to treat this job the same as he treats his job? Bosses, if you're a workaholic, do you expect your subordinates to be the same? Maybe I don't understand this specific industry (can't give too many details, but I'm not doing retail supply chain anymore), but being married to your job isn't IMO something to be shouting from the rooftops. If it's your own business I 100% get it. If it isn't, it's kinda sad (to me). For what I do, I'd expect that everyone works during normal hours and does the occasional after hours weekend work as needed - not be working normally and "on call" all other hours. I've seen it go both ways. My first boss we joked would die at his microscope but he did not expect us to stay in the lab all hours of the night. Part of that is he would have had to pay us overtime but the other part was he recognized we had lives outside the lab. My current lab is the same way. The company that DH worked for in 2015 absolutely expected your butt to stay in your seat until the head honchos went home. If the owner was in his office till 9pm you better be too, even if you were playing Angry Birds the entire time. Promotions weren't based on productivity but long long you kept your ass in your seat. People would deliberately spend time waddling during normal work hours so they'd be seen at 6 pm "working". If your boss is the latter until you have a written signed offer for another job you're going to have to play the game. DH refused to play and it ended up costing him BIG.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 11, 2017 9:56:11 GMT -5
Our company quit doing them entirely about 10 years ago. Good riddance to that annoying tradition that people just went to because they felt obligated to. Now they just have a "holiday dinner" catered at work. I go down and get my turkey and bring it back to my cube. they did a T-Day pot luck lunch. My other colleague under my boss (we are both the only ones at the NJ office) were invited. Uh yeah, we're going to schlep to the city for a 2 hour lunch and then back to a mountain of work that we'll then have to stay late to complete. No thank you. Companies are in a no-win situation with things like this. If they don't invite you, then they risk appearing to exclude you. If they do invite you, they risk the inevitable complaint that you're not gonna schlep 2.5 hours for it. It's a similar situation to people who have 100 cousins, most of whom they barely know. Tough to navigate who gets invited to the wedding... can't win.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 10:09:43 GMT -5
turns out I don't have to go to the NYO tomorrow after all. Making this choice slightly more painful.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 11, 2017 10:11:27 GMT -5
turns out I don't have to go to the NYO tomorrow after all. Making this choice slightly more painful. Ouch. Then I'd skip the party, but maybe I'm not the one to ask since I tend to just ignore office politics.
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grumpyhermit
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Post by grumpyhermit on Dec 11, 2017 10:13:36 GMT -5
I would not go, but I also don't work in an industry where this type of things matters. At least at my level. There is no merit based pay structure, or room for advancement. So doing the "above and beyond" things have literally no impact.
My rule is that I do not do after hours work functions. If you want to hold a party for staff, do it during work hours. We have an upcoming potluck this Friday. I will go, because it is at 2 PM, but the whole potluck thing always annoys me a bit.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 10:16:50 GMT -5
I already said I'd go.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 11, 2017 10:18:54 GMT -5
SIGH.... fiiiiiiine. I'll find my boss, his boss, the CEO, a handful of other colleagues, and the colleagues at my home office. Then I'm OUT. 25 mins max. If you decide to go, dress for the occassion.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2017 10:22:00 GMT -5
I already said I'd go. But that was based on your being in the city. I'd let whoever know asap that your plans have changed based on your work change. Work comes first after all!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2017 10:32:43 GMT -5
I already said I'd go. But that was based on your being in the city. I'd let whoever know asap that your plans have changed based on your work change. Work comes first after all! No freaking way would I go 2.5 hours into the city for that. Five hours of travel to make a 30 minute appearance somewhere you don't want to be? Screw that.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 11, 2017 10:38:52 GMT -5
I would skip it, but I've skipped pretty much every company Christmas party since I've started working. They're just not my thing. Yep, me too. But then I always knew that I am not the "mingling" type and it probably cost me some.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Dec 11, 2017 10:39:41 GMT -5
I already said I'd go. Got to give everyone time to catch up. Not all posters live in NJ/NY.
Jersey strong! Jersey strong!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 10:50:42 GMT -5
my current office is one short train stop from the city, but it's an hour drive from home. Going into the city from work isn't THAT bad, it's just Ubering from work to the train, waiting for the train, riding, getting to the station, getting subway/cab to the location, and doing it all again on the way back. Getting from my work location to the city office is about a 40-45 min ordeal on a good day, and I'll be doing that after the party and then tacking on an hour long drive home. Will maybe get home by 9-9:30 instead of after 10. Still shitty IMO.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 10:56:13 GMT -5
I already said I'd go. But that was based on your being in the city. I'd let whoever know asap that your plans have changed based on your work change. Work comes first after all! the tough part is that pretty much everyone else from my HO is going. So if they go and I don't, it'll look bad. Never mind that most of them live 5-20 mins away.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2017 10:58:08 GMT -5
I think anyone would recognize that living within 20 minutes is not the same as having to travel 2.5 hours each way. Can you send something in your place? Wishing I was with you! Minimuffin basket or something?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2017 11:18:13 GMT -5
I would not spend 5 minutes stressing this. Flat out NO with zero regrets.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Dec 11, 2017 11:19:33 GMT -5
turns out I don't have to go to the NYO tomorrow after all. Making this choice slightly more painful. That definitely would make me think a little harder about NOT going. Especially on a Tuesday night. Going will only benefit you at work in the long run, even if you are looking for a reason to get out. I get why that's a painful choice/decision, though. My response earlier was based on you already being in the city where the party was being held. I see you said everyone else from your HO is going, so likely it's still the right call to go. BUT, I do think you could get out of going based on the new facts.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 11:24:14 GMT -5
my workaholic boss lives even farther away than I do - about 40 mins south of me and he goes into the city office every day. I imagine his commute starts at 6am to get in for 9:30 and then I'm guessing he gets home at around 9:30ish at night too. So if he's going, I theoretically have no excuse.... other than I have a life outside this place.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 11, 2017 11:34:21 GMT -5
I wouldn't go. Say you thought you'd already be in the city and could work up until the party, but don't want to get behind with commuting between the 2 locations.
You're not planning on staying at that job, and while schmoozing can be important it isn't more important than doing your job well. Don't stress. Ask everyone you talk to on Wednesday how the party was and talk about how you wish you had been there.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 11, 2017 11:38:09 GMT -5
I consider company parties the "necessary job evil". Its not everyone's cup of tea...but if a company is the one holding my pay check , then I just suck it up and go.
Face time is important at such events IMHO.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 11, 2017 11:38:14 GMT -5
this whole "married to the job" convo has me with another question.... should he expect me to treat this job the same as he treats his job? Bosses, if you're a workaholic, do you expect your subordinates to be the same? Maybe I don't understand this specific industry (can't give too many details, but I'm not doing retail supply chain anymore), but being married to your job isn't IMO something to be shouting from the rooftops. If it's your own business I 100% get it. If it isn't, it's kinda sad (to me). For what I do, I'd expect that everyone works during normal hours and does the occasional after hours weekend work as needed - not be working normally and "on call" all other hours. For me it's tough. No one values butt in seat time. And our jobs aren't really 9-5, so there are no normal work hours. I'm more project oriented..So I have X amount to get done by X time. If you figure out ways to go streamline, then you volunteer to take on more work. If you are maxed, you are expected to say something. One of my old bosses is a workaholic/micromanager. But, we all because we know him well enough to understand it's from a place of stress.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 11, 2017 11:44:36 GMT -5
this whole "married to the job" convo has me with another question.... should he expect me to treat this job the same as he treats his job? Bosses, if you're a workaholic, do you expect your subordinates to be the same?Maybe I don't understand this specific industry (can't give too many details, but I'm not doing retail supply chain anymore), but being married to your job isn't IMO something to be shouting from the rooftops. If it's your own business I 100% get it. If it isn't, it's kinda sad (to me). For what I do, I'd expect that everyone works during normal hours and does the occasional after hours weekend work as needed - not be working normally and "on call" all other hours. Nope! As long as you are performing well at your job and fulfilling the job responsibilities defined for you, he should not be expecting more. Anything you do beyond your job description is you going above and beyond. If I work 10 hour days I do not expect my staff to do the same. However, thats contingent on the fact that THEY finish their job duties on time and as expected. If there is slack in their work, you better believe I am on their case to fix it, no matter how long it takes them. But regularly...nah!! Micromanaging is just way too much work Since you are a solid worker, I wouldn't even try to match up to the boss's hours. Thats his choice to make, not something you wish to emulate, so don't follow it.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 11, 2017 12:08:01 GMT -5
We always have and attended the best holiday office parties. I'm sorry that the experience isn't the same for all.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 11, 2017 12:23:02 GMT -5
I know people who are fulfilled by their jobs. Their run of the mill, not saving the world jobs with problems and issues give them purpose that they don't have to decompress from. So they work a lot because that is just who they are. It isn't who I am, but I stopped trying to put a value judgement on them (and also myself) just because we're different. We're in it for different reasons, but both still contribute. Those people have been really good bosses and mentors for me professionally.
I don't know if that is like your boss, but if it is I doubt he expects everyone to work all the time just because he does.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 11, 2017 12:28:37 GMT -5
A tough call since you won't already be in the city.
If you think you may be at company more than 6 months into the future....and/or make it to your 1 year mark....it may be worth it to go, if you are determined to jump ship asap and may give notice in 2 weeks if an offer comes through....maybe not.
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Dec 11, 2017 12:36:27 GMT -5
You can pull the single parent card. Breeze in saying you just wanted to wish everyone happy holidays, but must run be ause your sitter has to leave. You look like the good guy for making the effort.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 11, 2017 12:37:32 GMT -5
Check the weather. We are getting high winds and rain tomorrow and tomorrow night (4-5 hours north of you).
Maybe you can use your long commute in bad weather as a sudden "damnit I wanted to go but the weather..." kind of excuse.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 11, 2017 12:54:47 GMT -5
I'm leaning towards you can get out of this due to not being in the NYC office as you thought you'd be.
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