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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 7:12:03 GMT -5
We met in college and we're married before she even had a job, I knew what I was getting and was very excited about that (still am). I might start a separate thread about giving since so many people take issue with that. For the record, my wife and I both decided to donate a portion of our income to others before we ever got married, that's one of the things that has always been a constant in our lives. What may seem shocking to some, has brought great joy to us. It's the easiest thing to reduce short term while we make other adjustments. I don't think anyone was shocked by giving. Most of us give. I don't think most of us would use keeping current rates of giving as a reason why our spouse must continue to work a stressful job for more hours a week. It wasn't the giving. It was the seeming valuation of maintaining those levels over the needs of your wife. Still I don't think a giving thread is a bad idea.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 11, 2017 7:21:33 GMT -5
I wanted to say even if Mrs T has only had one book thrown at her there is still a lot of heartrending/scary shit that happens in residential programs. These kids aren't here because they just need a time out from their parents. They are there because either their home life is beyond messed up or they have mental issues that their parents cannot handle themselves. It's a dangerous job whether people want to admit it or not. It's also a very exhausting job psychologically. I had a professor who was a counselor to this group of children. She said you have to learn to compartmentalize FAST otherwise you will shrivel up from all the horror stories you will be privvy to. Even with being able to do that A LOT of people burn out because there is only so much misery a human brain is capable of absorbing. She was taking a break by teaching at IWCC for awhile as ooposed to practicing. The majority of policemen do not get shot while on duty but I don't think any of us would say that being a policeman is not dangerous work simply because that guy over there hasn't ever been shot. 23 years is a long time for Mrs T to work with the population she works with. Instead of chewing her out for having had enough I think she deserves major props for lasting that long. I couldn't even get as far as finishing the interview for a job that deals with that population. Doing it this long though, it only signifies to me that she understands the situation she's in, and has had a long time to make coordinated plans with tractor on an exit strategy. That's part of what I don't understand here...2 years looking, did they discuss a plan? It's absolutely a hard job, I don't have any feelings of "she needs to stick it out". I just don't understand how you look for a job for 2 years and seemingly have no real plan discussed that you're planning on taking a job for that significant of a pay cut whether your partner likes it or not. I'm assuming she waited until he got a big raise so she could do it with hopefully little repercussions.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 11, 2017 7:26:46 GMT -5
The 30k pay cut is because she's going from a 5 day a week 52 week a year job, to a 188 (or so) day contract. Admin is not going to be the same because even if it pays 'the same' it's going to be 5 days 52 weeks... so not really pay the same... She will work the same amount of hours each year, only condensed into 9 months instead of spread over 12. The salaries are an apple-apple comparison. Well, it's now a regular teaching job. You knew you married a teacher. They don't get paid well and the job sucks a lot. Why anyone goes into it anymore is beyond me. I started out when it was a wonderful job and watched it morph into hell on earth. Stop your charitable giving because charity begins at home. She'll have the summers off, sort of, and at least be home at night and weekends. Given that the special education program is only going to get larger and larger especially in a poor area , she'll keep a job.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Aug 11, 2017 7:55:30 GMT -5
We met in college and we're married before she even had a job, I knew what I was getting and was very excited about that (still am). I might start a separate thread about giving since so many people take issue with that. For the record, my wife and I both decided to donate a portion of our income to others before we ever got married, that's one of the things that has always been a constant in our lives. What may seem shocking to some, has brought great joy to us. It's the easiest thing to reduce short term while we make other adjustments. I don't think anyone was shocked by giving. Most of us give. I don't think most of us would use keeping current rates of giving as a reason why our spouse must continue to work a stressful job for more hours a week. It wasn't the giving. It was the seeming valuation of maintaining those levels over the needs of your wife. Still I don't think a giving thread is a bad idea.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2017 8:02:38 GMT -5
Here is the part that shows it is a decision she made with no regards for what he thinks or wants. READ PEOPLE READ
Thanks for pointing that out
Although I don't think you can ASSUME that she made the decision with no regard to what he thinks or wants. Apparently she has listened to him (he says he's tried to explain it to her). It just looks like she has reached a decision he doesn't like to me. But apparently she has NOT executed this decision yet.
I am glad I am not married to Tractor, or Miss T, or some others on this board.......a net $10 K loss is enough to get up in arms about someone leaving a job they HATE?
BTW- Tractor can you update what you have done to alleviate the situation? How do the house chores work in your household? Do you encourage her to have "me" time (girls night out, massage, etc.)? Do you / can you help her proof read lesson plans and stuff? Anything else?
That's ok...I wouldn't marry again without separate finances so my spouse could do whatever they wanted as long as they could still afford half of our expenses. I'm no sugar momma!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 11, 2017 8:08:09 GMT -5
Your giving to others doesn't bother me nor does it make me feel like you "value" others over your wife. It's apparent to me that you care very much for your wife. It's also apparent, from what you write, that your charitable donations are a mutual decision. Of course that's the easiest place to cut for now but that doesn't mean you have to jump for joy over it.
I'm not married so I didn't have much input here that wouldn't come across as pure jealousy that I don't have the options your wife has. I suppose there is some jealousy there. It wouldn't be an option for me to take a pay cut like that because I don't have anyone to make up the slack. Believe me, there are a bunch of days when I'd rather be doing something less stressful.
I hope that everything works out for you guys and I bet it will. And if I do decide to get married, I hope that I find someone who feels that giving to others ranks right up there with everything else. I'll have to stop reading this board, tho, because every time I see a thread like this, I realize being single isn't the worst thing ever!
All good things to you and the Tractor family.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 11, 2017 9:47:50 GMT -5
We met in college and we're married before she even had a job, I knew what I was getting and was very excited about that (still am). I might start a separate thread about giving since so many people take issue with that. For the record, my wife and I both decided to donate a portion of our income to others before we ever got married, that's one of the things that has always been a constant in our lives. What may seem shocking to some, has brought great joy to us. It's the easiest thing to reduce short term while we make other adjustments. As oped said, I don't think giving is bad in itself. It's just that I would give on monetary giving before sacrificing a lot of other things. If it was a fraction of her decrease in salary it wouldn't be a point. But since it's almost all of what she is giving up, to me the money issue becomes moot because that's money I don't really have right now, so it going away doesn't make me lose anything while my spouse seems to believe they would gain a lot of non monetary things.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 11, 2017 9:59:06 GMT -5
One thing that stands out to me:
Tractor has stated that this new opportunity is in an unstable or not as stable school district. People have stated over and over that it took Mrs. Tractor 2 years to be offered this opportunity. So at the end of the school year in this un or not as stable school district, her position gets cut. What then? If it took 2 years to get this opportunity, how long will it take for her to find other employment if that happens?
If that happens (and that's just as possible as all the other situation posed here), we are talking about way more than a $10,000 cut. It's something to consider unless she's dying and I don't get that impression from the OP. I was wondering about the 2 year job search too. I know SPED Teachers are in high demand here. My school ended up having a open position all year last year, they were able to get a long term sub which helped, as they could be in the inclusion classes helping, but there was a lot with the meetings, case managing, meetings, data analysis that they couldn't do. I believe it is consider a national shortage. Any way it seems off that she looked for two years for a SPED job without getting an offer, even with fact that most teaching jobs are only open certain months. 1) She was looking for two years, but was only looking for jobs that paid similar which would be a narrow window of pretty much exactly what she is already doing, making it more difficult to find one. Once Tractor got the promotion she was able to expand her search to other SPED jobs as well. 2) She has been looking at all jobs, most likely have turned some down because of the pay cut. I could toss things out like, she hasn't really been looking for two years, or she is a bad teacher, or these are the unicorn districts that have an over flow of sped teachers, and not only sped teachers but emotional disability sped teachers which are a shortage within the sped field itself.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 11, 2017 10:06:16 GMT -5
I don't see a problem with the giving. Didn't I read where you give a percentage? Just keep giving the same percentage it will just be a lesser amount. Or did you agree on a set dollar amount? May have missed this on previous posts and to lazy to go back and check. Adjust contributions to charties accordingly. Or do you think you will be judged for making smaller amounts. I guess I don't see why this is an issue unless it's ego thing. I don't know why but an episode of L&O -CI just popped into my head.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2017 10:26:01 GMT -5
Your giving to others doesn't bother me nor does it make me feel like you "value" others over your wife. It's apparent to me that you care very much for your wife. It's also apparent, from what you write, that your charitable donations are a mutual decision. Of course that's the easiest place to cut for now but that doesn't mean you have to jump for joy over it.
I'm not married so I didn't have much input here that wouldn't come across as pure jealousy that I don't have the options your wife has. I suppose there is some jealousy there. It wouldn't be an option for me to take a pay cut like that because I don't have anyone to make up the slack. Believe me, there are a bunch of days when I'd rather be doing something less stressful.
I hope that everything works out for you guys and I bet it will. And if I do decide to get married, I hope that I find someone who feels that giving to others ranks right up there with everything else. I'll have to stop reading this board, tho, because every time I see a thread like this, I realize being single isn't the worst thing ever!
All good things to you and the Tractor family. One of the things that came through in this thread is how much tractor loves his wife so I don't know how anyone can say he doesn't value her.
And you and I are probably coming at this from the same perspective. I'm single. I hate my job. But I have to find a way to replace my income or I can't leave. Simple as that. I'm a single mom with a demanding job involving travel that is extremely difficult since I'm also a single mom with an idiot ex husband...so yeah, I understand stress and I deal with it. I don't have the luxury to not deal with it. But I don't think I'm jealous over that...I don't have the personality to let my spouse absorb a $30k loss of income, especially if he wasn't on board with it. That's not a knock, it's just who I am. And because of that, I wouldn't accept it from my spouse....which again, is why I will probably never marry again or at least never combine finances...don't be looking to me as a sugar momma, dammit
Each marriage is different and what each person thinks is acceptable in their marriage is different....I only speak of what will work for me
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 10:31:42 GMT -5
Not all 30k increments are equal. Not all situations are equal. There are many situations in which I would not advocate taking that kind of cut, but these things are rarely as black and white as some would like to make them.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Aug 11, 2017 10:31:53 GMT -5
I can't say for sure about the lack of being offered other EI positions. For those of you that don't know, there is very little negotiation when it comes to teaching positions. The rates are set by the union contract. So what was likely happening is they could either hire teacher X at a two year scale for $ or my wife with lots of years in for $$$. When it comes right down to it, districts always hire the cheapest cost teacher they can, even at the expense of experience. It's nothing like the real world where experience helps you get a position.
With this position, the school district had nothing to loose, they could only offer her 2 steps per the union contract for any new hire. She could either take it or leave it, which is where I started this whole thread so there's no need to revisit it again.
There are currently 9 open EI positions in a four county area. She applied for each on, and wasn't even considered do to their fear that they would have to pay her at her current scale. One district took a chance and won a great teacher with tons of experience for the price of a recent graduate.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2017 10:45:04 GMT -5
I can't say for sure about the lack of being offered other EI positions. For those of you that don't know, there is very little negotiation when it comes to teaching positions. The rates are set by the union contract. So what was likely happening is they could either hire teacher X at a two year scale for $ or my wife with lots of years in for $$$. When it comes right down to it, districts always hire the cheapest cost teacher they can, even at the expense of experience. It's nothing like the real world where experience helps you get a position. With this position, the school district had nothing to loose, they could only offer her 2 steps per the union contract for any new hire. She could either take it or leave it, which is where I started this whole thread so there's no need to revisit it again. There are currently 9 open EI positions in a four county area. She applied for each on, and wasn't even considered do to their fear that they would have to pay her at her current scale. One district took a chance and won a great teacher with tons of experience for the price of a recent graduate. "unilateral decision", but you are 100% behind her. That's what it's all about, ladies and gentlemen.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 11, 2017 10:46:02 GMT -5
Your giving to others doesn't bother me nor does it make me feel like you "value" others over your wife. It's apparent to me that you care very much for your wife. It's also apparent, from what you write, that your charitable donations are a mutual decision. Of course that's the easiest place to cut for now but that doesn't mean you have to jump for joy over it.
I'm not married so I didn't have much input here that wouldn't come across as pure jealousy that I don't have the options your wife has. I suppose there is some jealousy there. It wouldn't be an option for me to take a pay cut like that because I don't have anyone to make up the slack. Believe me, there are a bunch of days when I'd rather be doing something less stressful.
I hope that everything works out for you guys and I bet it will. And if I do decide to get married, I hope that I find someone who feels that giving to others ranks right up there with everything else. I'll have to stop reading this board, tho, because every time I see a thread like this, I realize being single isn't the worst thing ever!
All good things to you and the Tractor family. One of the things that came through in this thread is how much tractor loves his wife so I don't know how anyone can say he doesn't value her.
And you and I are probably coming at this from the same perspective. I'm single. I hate my job. But I have to find a way to replace my income or I can't leave. Simple as that. I'm a single mom with a demanding job involving travel that is extremely difficult since I'm also a single mom with an idiot ex husband...so yeah, I understand stress and I deal with it. I don't have the luxury to not deal with it. But I don't think I'm jealous over that...I don't have the personality to let my spouse absorb a $30k loss of income, especially if he wasn't on board with it. That's not a knock, it's just who I am. And because of that, I wouldn't accept it from my spouse....which again, is why I will probably never marry again or at least never combine finances...don't be looking to me as a sugar momma, dammit
Each marriage is different and what each person thinks is acceptable in their marriage is different....I only speak of what will work for me
I understand exactly what you are saying. Maybe "jealousy" wasn't the right word I should have used. I say that because if I got married tomorrow, I wouldn't even think about accepting a lesser paying job just because I had someone to fall back on. But? I do admit it would be nice to know I would have some security if the worst happened and I either lost my job or couldn't work. So you are right. "Jealousy" was the wrong word to use.
You have it way harder than I do. I'm only responsible for me. I can't even imagine the pressure of having children to worry about also. Good job there, Miss T.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Aug 11, 2017 10:47:14 GMT -5
Thanks for pointing that out
Although I don't think you can ASSUME that she made the decision with no regard to what he thinks or wants. Apparently she has listened to him (he says he's tried to explain it to her). It just looks like she has reached a decision he doesn't like to me. But apparently she has NOT executed this decision yet.
I am glad I am not married to Tractor, or Miss T, or some others on this board.......a net $10 K loss is enough to get up in arms about someone leaving a job they HATE?
BTW- Tractor can you update what you have done to alleviate the situation? How do the house chores work in your household? Do you encourage her to have "me" time (girls night out, massage, etc.)? Do you / can you help her proof read lesson plans and stuff? Anything else?
That's ok...I wouldn't marry again without separate finances so my spouse could do whatever they wanted as long as they could still afford half of our expenses. I'm no sugar momma! "sugar momma" is a relative term. Although i joke about it I wouldnt subscribe to it. its unfortunate u feel that way, although some situations merrit it. I really believe in marriage and making each other "better". And to me things work better when all is blended. But i realize it sint for everyone. So i am just curious, if u were married and ur SO got cancer or some disease would u also not want to be involved with assisting them? Would it make a difference if they smoked or something that could be linked to it that specificalky caused it?
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 11, 2017 10:47:15 GMT -5
....For those of you that don't know, there is very little negotiation when it comes to teaching positions. The rates are set by the union contract. So what was likely happening is they could either hire teacher X at a two year scale for $ or my wife with lots of years in for $$$. When it comes right down to it, districts always hire the cheapest cost teacher they can, even at the expense of experience. It's nothing like the real world where experience helps you get a position. .... The real world has similar examples of having additional experience not translating into additional pay. Whether experience translates into additional pay corresponds at least somewhat to the perception of how that experience increases your value or output. For some jobs, additional experience doesn't make an employee significantly more effective or productive, so the experience doesn't correspond to additional pay. At one end of the job spectrum, you'd have repetitive jobs like data entry clerk or cashier - an employee who has 20 years of experience would probably be slightly faster or more productive than an employee with 1 year's experience, but not enough to justify much additional pay. At the other end of the job spectrum, you'd have jobs that are highly dependent on experience and background knowledge like CEO or specialist surgeon - so an employee who has 20 years of experience would be multiples more effective/productive than a brand new employee, so might justify a salary that's multiple times more than a newcomer. Most jobs - like teaching - fall somewhere in the middle. Pay loosely corresponds to the perception of how much more effective someone with 20 years experience is than a person with only 2-3...
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2017 10:48:55 GMT -5
One of the things that came through in this thread is how much tractor loves his wife so I don't know how anyone can say he doesn't value her.
And you and I are probably coming at this from the same perspective. I'm single. I hate my job. But I have to find a way to replace my income or I can't leave. Simple as that. I'm a single mom with a demanding job involving travel that is extremely difficult since I'm also a single mom with an idiot ex husband...so yeah, I understand stress and I deal with it. I don't have the luxury to not deal with it. But I don't think I'm jealous over that...I don't have the personality to let my spouse absorb a $30k loss of income, especially if he wasn't on board with it. That's not a knock, it's just who I am. And because of that, I wouldn't accept it from my spouse....which again, is why I will probably never marry again or at least never combine finances...don't be looking to me as a sugar momma, dammit
Each marriage is different and what each person thinks is acceptable in their marriage is different....I only speak of what will work for me
I understand exactly what you are saying. Maybe "jealousy" wasn't the right word I should have used. I say that because if I got married tomorrow, I wouldn't even think about accepting a lesser paying job just because I had someone to fall back on. But? I do admit it would be nice to know I would have some security if the worst happened and I either lost my job or couldn't work. So you are right. "Jealousy" was the wrong word to use.
You have it way harder than I do. I'm only responsible for me. I can't even imagine the pressure of having children to worry about also. Good job there, Miss T.
Yes, it definitely was nice to know that if the worst happened and I lost my job that we could still cover the bills...that is about the only thing I miss about being married
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 10:49:47 GMT -5
Realism ladies. 40k in a locola with no kids you can easy support yourself quite nicely, especially when you have been banking an awesomesauce pension.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 11, 2017 10:51:04 GMT -5
Tractor I switched from a Private Day School (high school) (not residential but we did have residential students bused to us) to a SPED (8th) public school. I can say the stress and hours went down a lot. Some of the difference is the student attitudes themselves, yes my students still can struggle but the out burst are less often, less violent, and less aggressive even with words and any physical aspects are not there. At the private school I always had holes in my walls, desk were flipped, and every thing I had to be consider on if it could be used as a weapon. I had to have lunch with the students. Not so at the new school.
Hours, at the Private I had 4 or 5 courses I had to teacher each block, since different student would be working on different courses at that time. Now I have to lesson plan for 1 course each block, it saves some hours. I also had less planning time at the private school built in my schedule. 90 mins a week vs 80 mins a day. Having a para (and I have 2) helps a lot too, (although this may depend on if they get them during planning or not. Mine do have planning with me), my paras can do things like file copies of students work, fill in excel sheets for behavior tracking, check folders and binders, grade with a grading key, creating manipulatives from a pattern, ect... All of this saves me time because I can use my planning for actually writing IEPs, having the meetings, things they can't do. My contracted hours for both schools are the same 7:45 to 3:45. At the private school I would come in a 7 and leave around 5-5:30 and still take stuff home regularly. At the public school I get there around 7:15 and leave at 4-4:30 and takes stuff home occasionally.
There are way less IEP amendment meetings at the public school and way less manifestation determination meetings, and my management case load is heaver (as in more students) in the public school.
A year long school teaching contract for 12 months and public school contract for 9 months are not the same amount of time, she should have more time off and less to do in that time.
These may be some of the reasons your wife and you see it differently. You are seeing the two jobs as comparable the same job with a pay cut, they really are not.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 11, 2017 10:53:07 GMT -5
Your giving to others doesn't bother me nor does it make me feel like you "value" others over your wife. It's apparent to me that you care very much for your wife. It's also apparent, from what you write, that your charitable donations are a mutual decision. Of course that's the easiest place to cut for now but that doesn't mean you have to jump for joy over it.
I'm not married so I didn't have much input here that wouldn't come across as pure jealousy that I don't have the options your wife has. I suppose there is some jealousy there. It wouldn't be an option for me to take a pay cut like that because I don't have anyone to make up the slack. Believe me, there are a bunch of days when I'd rather be doing something less stressful.
I hope that everything works out for you guys and I bet it will. And if I do decide to get married, I hope that I find someone who feels that giving to others ranks right up there with everything else. I'll have to stop reading this board, tho, because every time I see a thread like this, I realize being single isn't the worst thing ever!
All good things to you and the Tractor family. One of the things that came through in this thread is how much tractor loves his wife so I don't know how anyone can say he doesn't value her.
And you and I are probably coming at this from the same perspective. I'm single. I hate my job. But I have to find a way to replace my income or I can't leave. Simple as that. I'm a single mom with a demanding job involving travel that is extremely difficult since I'm also a single mom with an idiot ex husband...so yeah, I understand stress and I deal with it. I don't have the luxury to not deal with it. But I don't think I'm jealous over that...I don't have the personality to let my spouse absorb a $30k loss of income, especially if he wasn't on board with it. That's not a knock, it's just who I am. And because of that, I wouldn't accept it from my spouse....which again, is why I will probably never marry again or at least never combine finances...don't be looking to me as a sugar momma, dammit
Each marriage is different and what each person thinks is acceptable in their marriage is different....I only speak of what will work for me
That's true, every situation is different. In some ways it is easier being single. I could most definitely make my budget work on $30k less on my own as can tractor and his wife together and likely tractors wife on her own on $40k/year. This will not put them in dire straights and they can continue to give 20%. I would have a bigger problem supporting dead weight and that's not what's happening in this scenario. I believe tractor has also commented that they put a family friend through college. There is plenty of room in their budget and plenty of room to still give generously.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 11, 2017 11:14:49 GMT -5
I can't say for sure about the lack of being offered other EI positions. For those of you that don't know, there is very little negotiation when it comes to teaching positions. The rates are set by the union contract. So what was likely happening is they could either hire teacher X at a two year scale for $ or my wife with lots of years in for $$$. When it comes right down to it, districts always hire the cheapest cost teacher they can, even at the expense of experience. It's nothing like the real world where experience helps you get a position. With this position, the school district had nothing to loose, they could only offer her 2 steps per the union contract for any new hire. She could either take it or leave it, which is where I started this whole thread so there's no need to revisit it again. There are currently 9 open EI positions in a four county area. She applied for each on, and wasn't even considered do to their fear that they would have to pay her at her current scale. One district took a chance and won a great teacher with tons of experience for the price of a recent graduate. Hi Tractor,
Now that you two are moving forward (and kudos to you for being open-minded enough to seek input from this board) if the new job doesn't work out, one option for your wife to explore is county or other municipal jobs as they often have reciprocal pension programs.
As an example here in the SF Bay Area, I worked for a local transit district which had its pension through CalPers (CA public employee retirement system) Calpers is also the retirement system for our state transportation dept as well as other state jobs. Calpers has reciprocity with Calsters the public school retirement program as well as our local county government pension program which is part of some local cities and counties pension system. Many of these public entities have a need for trainers and instructors which could be a good fit for your wife.
I wish you and your wife good luck with her new job and your life together!
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Deleted
Joined: May 5, 2024 17:56:17 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 11:18:24 GMT -5
Also you never answered about possible alternate certifications. That could also be an option.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Aug 11, 2017 11:26:42 GMT -5
Also you never answered about possible alternate certifications. That could also be an option. I don't know enough about those possibilities, but I would guess they would involve additional school and/or training. I wouldn't rule it out if she has more time, when she completed her masters 10 years ago, it really almost killed her on top of working full time. I can't she her wanting to go through that again.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 11:37:10 GMT -5
That's why she needs to check in her state. I'm attempting to do this right now. In PA you just need to pass core and subject tests to add certifications for most things (not specialist or admin).
I'm studying for 4-8 core, English and math now. Then I'll look at prek-4 plus add on 5-6. If I pass the tests and get those certifications it will be just under 1k for all of them... but my options will be much better. We shall see!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2017 12:05:36 GMT -5
That's ok...I wouldn't marry again without separate finances so my spouse could do whatever they wanted as long as they could still afford half of our expenses. I'm no sugar momma! "sugar momma" is a relative term. Although i joke about it I wouldnt subscribe to it. its unfortunate u feel that way, although some situations merrit it. I really believe in marriage and making each other "better". And to me things work better when all is blended. But i realize it sint for everyone. So i am just curious, if u were married and ur SO got cancer or some disease would u also not want to be involved with assisting them? Would it make a difference if they smoked or something that could be linked to it that specificalky caused it? Of course not...I would absolutely take care of my spouse if he couldn't work. I have always said that. heck, Im not even married but I've been with bf long enough that I would help him out if he got seriously ill and couldn't work. Totally different than someone wanting an easier job and expecting me to pick up the slack.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2017 12:06:35 GMT -5
Realism ladies. 40k in a locola with no kids you can easy support yourself quite nicely, especially when you have been banking an awesomesauce pension. I live in a LCOLA area and I can't imagine only making $40k. Even if you take away the $18k I into my 401k each year, I can't imagine making so little.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 11, 2017 12:15:11 GMT -5
Realism ladies. 40k in a locola with no kids you can easy support yourself quite nicely, especially when you have been banking an awesomesauce pension. I live in a LCOLA area and I can't imagine only making $40k. Even if you take away the $18k I into my 401k each year, I can't imagine making so little. I made $40k when I bought my first house for $165k. I stayed out of debt, saved and put 15% in my 401(k). And I am not in a lcol area. Everyone budget is different.
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quince
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Post by quince on Aug 11, 2017 12:22:34 GMT -5
I made 40 K and husband made 20 K as a grad student. Bought a house (15 year mortgage) we had paid 60% of it off 3 years later when we sold. MCOLA, not even a LCOLA. I could have supported myself and 1 child, while still contributing to retirement if he split, no child support, no problem.
~55K is median HOUSEHOLD income. 40 K is not awful.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 11, 2017 12:23:00 GMT -5
I live in a LCOLA area and I can't imagine only making $40k. Even if you take away the $18k I into my 401k each year, I can't imagine making so little. I made $40k when I bought my first house for $165k. I stayed out of debt, saved and put 15% in my 401(k). And I am not in a lcol area. Everyone budget is different. She has 2 kids she is still supporting, one of them will always need her financial support. 40k is not chump change but it sure is not life on easy street. I am 32 and while not 40's or 50's... I have made the decision that I am past the just "survive" financially or "make ends meet". I paid my dues in my 20's and don't care to go back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2017 12:30:20 GMT -5
Teachers are paid by collective bargaining agreement. Not in every state or district. Definitely not at private schools. I've lived places were it was similar negotiation to private industry (although the ranges were more enforced due to being public money). Although that is a good point to bring up. If the schools in the area are contract based (which normally is publicly available). Tractor should have known the "new" salary from her first looking 2 years ago, and in that case he had two years to bring up the concerns. Thus she would be warranted after trying to get the offer for 2 years to not think she needs to discuss the decision. I think of this like talking with my spouse that I want a different car, we agree on budget, etc. Then it takes me 2 years to find what I want and I buy without asking only to get in trouble; NO, it was already agreed that I would get a different car within that budget.
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