NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 12, 2013 15:18:11 GMT -5
I guess you just get to that point where you feel like half your life is over and you have nothing to show for it, and you no longer have all those years you thought you'd have, and you just plain don't have time to -foot around anymore.
DH turns 40 in a few weeks. I have a feeling another midlife crisis is coming because he’s already starting on how much he hates himself, has accomplished nothing in life, bitches he wants to join a gym and is retreating into his video games.
He’s had several since we’ve been together. Eventually it culminates in some delusion of grandeur type scheme that will make him a success.
Fortunately for me he has never been stupid enough to actually follow thru. It’s all talk on his part.
I wouldn’t mind supporting him if the changes he talks about were realistic. Instead it’s always some sort of “football playing king in space” type scheme that I would expect to come out of an 18 year old’s mouth. Not a 40 year old.
I have been surprised occassionaly though because he's actually been engaging me in some adult conversations about career/job decisions on his part and mine now that he turning 40. Maybe I'll get lucky this time around and something productive will come out of his pity party.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 12, 2013 15:21:45 GMT -5
My favorite signal of a mid-life crisis is when he starts asking how I could possibly have wanted to marry him.
Last time I told him you might want to stop asking that question. Do you really want me to sit and psychoanalyze why I married you because that might just backfire in your face.
Think about it for a moment and then decide if you want to count your blessing or keep suggesting I re-evaluate our relationship?
|
|
ihearyou2
Well-Known Member
I smell better then I look
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:05:34 GMT -5
Posts: 1,857
|
Post by ihearyou2 on Mar 12, 2013 15:39:18 GMT -5
I guess you just get to that point where you feel like half your life is over and you have nothing to show for it, and you no longer have all those years you thought you'd have, and you just plain don't have time to -foot around anymore. DH turns 40 in a few weeks. I have a feeling another midlife crisis is coming because he’s already starting on how much he hates himself, has accomplished nothing in life, bitches he wants to join a gym and is retreating into his video games. He’s had several since we’ve been together. Eventually it culminates in some delusion of grandeur type scheme that will make him a success. Fortunately for me he has never been stupid enough to actually follow thru. It’s all talk on his part. I wouldn’t mind supporting him if the changes he talks about were realistic. Instead it’s always some sort of “football playing king in space” type scheme that I would expect to come out of an 18 year old’s mouth. Not a 40 year old. I have been surprised occassionaly though because he's actually been engaging me in some adult conversations about career/job decisions on his part and mine now that he turning 40. Maybe I'll get lucky this time around and something productive will come out of his pity party. You remind me of my wife, a soul crusher.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 12, 2013 15:39:35 GMT -5
Thats IT! Football playing king in space!!!!!!
I'm adding that to my list of potential careers after this government thing, Somali pirate, stripper-chef, and minstrel who records the deeds of other through song.
I do worry though because the "grass is always greener" can be very powerful. Deep down, DW knows we have a pretty good life, especially compared to some of her friends. She never has to worry for her physical safety. Bills are paid on time. And we do get to do some pretty cool things.
But I suppose when you are focused on what you don't have (and I'm guilty of this too), what you DO have becomes invisible, and its hard to think rationally.
...:::"I have been surprised occassionaly though because he's actually been engaging me in some adult conversations about career/job decisions on his part and mine now that he turning 40. Maybe I'll get lucky this time around and something productive will come out of his pity party.":::...
Indeed, its not all bad. I guess it also shocks some people into reality in a "today is the first day of the rest of your life" kind of way. When you realize you DON'T have all the time in the world, and you have maybe 10 or 20 years to really do something grand, it can focus you in a positive way.
|
|
DVM gone riding
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 23:04:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,383
Favorite Drink: Coffee!!
|
Post by DVM gone riding on Mar 12, 2013 15:44:07 GMT -5
For my mid-life crises I am buying myself a nice truck--basically the one I have tricked out and brand new!! I just decided!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 8:04:41 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2013 15:54:06 GMT -5
I've been having a mid-life crisis for a few years now. So far I've been able to talk myself down from doing anything really outrageous or terribly expensive. I'm itching for change, something new and different or exciting. I guess it's good I'm not married lol. Seriously though, I feel like I'm running out of time to have and do some of the things I really want.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Mar 12, 2013 15:55:29 GMT -5
Don't take this the wrong way, because I have no issues with your DH at all, but doesn't he work at a screen printing place making basically peanuts right now? Let him go and do something stupid. Worst case, it fails, he learns something from it, stops bitching for a while, and he has to go find some other fairly low level job. Those are the easiest to replace. It's not like he'd be walking away from a six figure white collar career to become the world's greatest space quarterback or whatever.
On a more positive note, he also wouldn't need his weird idea to generate much income to replace what he currently brings in.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 12, 2013 16:00:03 GMT -5
I will be 40 in less than 3 weeks. Since I am not married I seem to be on the heels of a "different" type of mid-life crisis. For the past several months I have had this fantasy of taking about 4-6 months off work to travel around, sleep late, take classes for fun and perhaps even venture into cougar territory on some remote island in an effort to "get my groove back" . None of this will probably happen but it is a fun fantasy. I am taking adult ice skating lessons right now which I am enjoying a great deal. My instructor is a younger male who used to play minor league hockey. He seems to have taken a liking to me so maybe the cougar part will work out
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,719
|
Post by midjd on Mar 12, 2013 16:02:02 GMT -5
Almost, I think you'd be classified as a "puma," it was my understanding that "cougar" was reserved for the fifty-and-over set Or you could just call yourself a snow leopard
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Mar 12, 2013 16:04:05 GMT -5
Don't take this the wrong way, because I have no issues with your DH at all, but doesn't he work at a screen printing place making basically peanuts right now? Let him go and do something stupid. Worst case, it fails, he learns something from it, stops bitching for a while, and he has to go find some other fairly low level job. Those are the easiest to replace. It's not like he'd be walking away from a six figure white collar career to become the world's greatest space quarterback or whatever. On a more positive note, he also wouldn't need his weird idea to generate much income to replace what he currently brings in. I'm pretty sure Drama's DH is a meat health inspector and has been with his company for a long time. I doubt leaving his job would to try his hand at painting while being a beach bum is something Drama would be okay with.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 12, 2013 16:05:55 GMT -5
Almost, I think you'd be classified as a "puma," it was my understanding that "cougar" was reserved for the fifty-and-over set Or you could just call yourself a snow leopard Ha! That's good to know. Our 24 yr old accountant at work tried to tell me that you are classified as a cougar at age 30 - LOL!
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Mar 12, 2013 16:07:01 GMT -5
Almost, I think you'd be classified as a "puma," it was my understanding that "cougar" was reserved for the fifty-and-over set Or you could just call yourself a snow leopard Ha! That's good to know. Our 24 yr old accountant at work tried to tell me that you are classified as a cougar at age 30 - LOL! They would have to be going after 15 year olds which I think the term for them would be felons.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Mar 12, 2013 16:24:33 GMT -5
Oh, that's right. He's a pork inspector now? Something like that. What kind of salary hit are we talking for him to open a jazz club/skate park/cigar shop? Was he ever an employee at a screen printing place or am I mixing him up with somebody else entirely?
|
|
Robert not Bobby
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 29, 2013 17:45:55 GMT -5
Posts: 1,392
|
Post by Robert not Bobby on Mar 12, 2013 17:19:48 GMT -5
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,730
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 12, 2013 17:34:49 GMT -5
Oh, that's right. He's a pork inspector now? Something like that. What kind of salary hit are we talking for him to open a jazz club/skate park/cigar shop? Was he ever an employee at a screen printing place or am I mixing him up with somebody else entirely? That's Meghan's DF.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 12, 2013 17:47:42 GMT -5
Almost, I think you'd be classified as a "puma," it was my understanding that "cougar" was reserved for the fifty-and-over set Or you could just call yourself a snow leopard i thought puma was under 40?
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 12, 2013 17:53:12 GMT -5
Almost, I think you'd be classified as a "puma," it was my understanding that "cougar" was reserved for the fifty-and-over set Or you could just call yourself a snow leopard i thought puma was under 40? Just when mid was making me feel better - LOL!! I am still under 40 - at least for 16 more days.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 12, 2013 17:54:28 GMT -5
i thought puma was under 40? Just when mid was making me feel better - LOL!! I am still under 40 - at least for 16 more days. LOL...sorry! I'm now 41...what can I say, misery loves company
|
|
|
Post by twystedsystermi1 on Mar 12, 2013 18:12:18 GMT -5
Exactly what age do you have Mid-Life Crisis? I am 49 and just tired and sore!!!!
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 12, 2013 18:18:55 GMT -5
I've thought about it too. On one hand - it's much better to try to "find yourself" when you are 20, no obligations, etc. But on another - it's also a great time to start on a solid path. So far, I am leaning towards "get yourself a profession/trade, whatever that will allow you support yourself and THEN follow whatever dreams you want". Having something solid to fall back on - how can that ever be a bad thing??
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,779
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Mar 12, 2013 18:49:10 GMT -5
Wow Robert, I thought I had expensive tastes in cars. I could buy quite a stable for the cost of that very high end model car. (I think Jay Leno likes to drive his cars FWIW. )
|
|
ihearyou2
Well-Known Member
I smell better then I look
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:05:34 GMT -5
Posts: 1,857
|
Post by ihearyou2 on Mar 12, 2013 19:17:04 GMT -5
I'll do this one more time:
Puma-30-40 Cougar-40-50 Sabertooth-50-60
Anything under you're is a kitty, I'm not sure about what you would call a 60+ feline.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 12, 2013 19:39:38 GMT -5
...:::"I don't want their souls battered into doormats. I'm erring on the side of the latter because deep down I feel pessimistic about the future they will live in and I want them prepared to handle adversity. But what if I'm totally wrong and instead they become depressed and bitter?":::...
I figure the angle I will play is that you do need to follow your dreams; but you'd best have a backup plan too. The people we often idolize made it huge by following their dreams -- they had to also be 110% dedicated to doing what it took. What often gets lost, are the other 99.9% who tried and fell short. Having a backup plan can be invaluable.
I might also tell them that if they do have the backup plan, they can give me an extra "in your face" when their crazy space football king ideas fail, but they are OK after all. You know... pretend its THEIR idea to have a plan, and show ol' Dad.
|
|
bookkeeper
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 13:40:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,699
|
Post by bookkeeper on Mar 13, 2013 8:33:18 GMT -5
I love my husband, but if the day came when he no longer walks the earth, I would definately try for a younger man. I often refer to "Sven the personal trainer" in the fantasy in my head.
My husband had his midlife crisis with our 16 year old son. Together they went out and bought a 94 Trans Am. We owned that car for 8 years and it sucked a lot of high performance cash out of our checking account. The crisis must be over, because he sold it last summer and is now working on a POS 97 Toyota Carolla.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 13, 2013 10:30:26 GMT -5
Don't take this the wrong way, because I have no issues with your DH at all, but doesn't he work at a screen printing place making basically peanuts right now
Close, if you had known him 15 years ago but that was label making. He's a QA at a meat processing plant right now.
Depends on what company you work for and how high you want to go. If he was to pursue a USDA agent job he could be sitting pretty in a few years.
You'd have to work on a kill floor for at least 2 years to do that and I can understand not wanting to do that.
I have encouraged him not to completely take it off the table though if that's what he really wants to do. I think he'd be good at it.
I'm not big on supporting "football playing king in space" (I watch too much Spongebob) type dreams though at this stage in our lives. If he wants to actively research on the sidelines I'm all for discussion, but I'm not going to support leaping into the unknown without any forethought at this stage in our lives.
My brother is currently "finding himself". It dawned on me he'll be 23 in a few weeks and has not done shit with himself besides live in my parent's basement and work part time for my great uncle for slighly more than minimum wage.
I have panic attacks that he's going to be in his 30's-40's and still "finding himself" and show up on my doorstep when he can no longer mooch off my parents.
So I tend to have a really negative reaction to the words "finding himself" since that's the excuse my mother always uses every time the subject of my brother and why he doesn't do anything with himself comes up.
I mean he can't work a crap job and pay my parents some rent while "finding himself". It has to be done smoking pot at his friend's house?
Yeah. .. not happening with my kid.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 13, 2013 10:52:23 GMT -5
My supervisor's 34 yr old son is currently "finding himself." He lives with her rent free and contributes nothing to the household. He works part-time for his father and occasionally shows up at my workplace to do some temp work for his mother. He has a law degree from UT but says he has no desire to use it. A couple of weeks ago he came in for a few hours to work and one of our board members was here and told him it was a shame he is letting his law degree go to waste. He responded by saying he can live with it. I often wonder what his uncle thinks about his attitude since he actually paid this guy's entire way through law school. His dream apparently is to be an actor and he does local theatre. Hmmm... if the dream hasn't happened yet then chances are it isn't going to. He said the other day he is extremely happy right now. I guess so with mommy and daddy paying the bills, providing him with part-time work for spending money and letting him "live the dream" by doing local theatre at night. Geez... what a joke!
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 13, 2013 11:00:54 GMT -5
Most people who do local theatre have regular full time jobs outside the theatre.
As a professional told us in drama class if you want to be a full time actor be prepared to live out of your suitcase and make peanuts.
I think "finding yourself" in that case Almost and my brother's is code for: "I am a lazy ass who expects life to hand me everything"
Don't dare say that to my mom's face though, I'd cause WWIV. I did say it to my brother's face though which is what caused WWIII in our family.
Now I just keep my mouth shut and made sure it's clear ot DH that if my brother shows up on our doorstep he's being kicked off our porch. I'm not going to take over being his parent.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 13, 2013 11:11:49 GMT -5
I think "finding yourself" in that case Almost and my brother's is code for: "I am a lazy ass who expects life to hand me everything"
Yeah, that is pretty much my thought as well. She comes in about twice a month talking about how great he was in this or that play, etc. Once I went to lunch with her and she said she came home the evening before and he was in the living room watching TV and he asked HER to go to her bedroom to watch TV. He was watching Game of Thrones and wanted to watch it alone because he didn't want to have to answer any questions about the show or give any updates, and the amazing part is she actually went up to her bedroom to watch TV. WTH!!
In addition, he also has no health insurance and says he will just file bankruptcy if anything ever happens. The thing is he is a decent looking guy who has some intelligence (book wise anyway) but what woman wants to date a 34 yr old man who lives at home with mommy and works part-time for dad to make pocket money.
Drama - at least your brother is only 23. Hopefully, he will mature and make something out of himself.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Mar 13, 2013 11:14:43 GMT -5
Most people who do local theatre have regular full time jobs outside the theatre. As a professional told us in drama class if you want to be a full time actor be prepared to live out of your suitcase and make peanuts. I think "finding yourself" in that case Almost and my brother's is code for: "I am a lazy ass who expects life to hand me everything" Don't dare say that to my mom's face though, I'd cause WWIV. I did say it to my brother's face though which is what caused WWIII in our family. Now I just keep my mouth shut and made sure it's clear ot DH that if my brother shows up on our doorstep he's being kicked off our porch. I'm not going to take over being his parent. You could be a supportive sister and get him an emotional support ginea pig.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
|
Post by movingforward on Mar 13, 2013 11:16:35 GMT -5
OTOH, I was with them recently when the DD had to do some homework and it was horrible (similar to the famous Helen Keller/Anne Sullivan dining room scene).
OMG! I don't mean to LOL at this because that is actually pretty sad but I can't help myself
|
|