quince
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Post by quince on Dec 19, 2012 18:24:01 GMT -5
I do disagree with the smile and nod bit. If my husband got huffy when I gave him my opinion upon being asked, the next time he asked, I'd tell him that I didn't want to talk to him about it because he was going to be an ass.
Maybe ask if she wants you to tell her what you think, or if she just wants to vent? I can't understand talking AT someone instead of WITH them.
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Dec 19, 2012 18:25:45 GMT -5
Has he ever said he is holding out for a managerial position? And is his name Eddie?
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Dec 19, 2012 18:56:44 GMT -5
Damn, so 50% of what he makes goes to the ex-wife (if you don't include bonuses, etc).
Not to be a jerk or anything but I thought: Isn't he glad she's dead!
Does that make me an evil monster?
Well Carl, to me, (who does not matter to you) yes it does. (make you an evil monster) But, you asked and I'm only telling you the truth. (In the same way you told the Mrs the truth)
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 19, 2012 19:01:30 GMT -5
People can date whenever they want. So if someone is separated from their spouse, they can date immediately as far as I"m concerned. "I still cannot get over that a guy with no job, a kid, still legally married and living at his parents is getting tail. I guess there is always hope for us guys!" You've hit upon one of the great mysteries of women and the uniervise. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out the same thing. I have a cousin who's similar. He has bi polar, has a kid, divorced, can't hold a job for more than a few months, high school dropout, yet he's ALWAYS living with a girlfriend. Why is it that total losers get women coming out of the woodwork to be with them while nice, gainfully employed guys like me can't even get a second date 99% of the time. Your guess is as good as mine. My best theory is that many women like the excitment of a guy not having his shit together. I think many women, especially young women, prefer "projects" over partners. How is the quality of women your cousin dates? Low standard women DO come out of the woodwork! It's like how my Mom would watch some trash tv show like Jerry Springer and proclaim, "And I can't get a date?!" Well, do you want to date these crappy people?! ETA: I see other people covered it. ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 19:19:57 GMT -5
C, what your wife was looking for was reassurance that you won't leave her someday when she puts on weight and let's herself go after having kids or just simply getting older. You've made it pretty clear that physical appearance (yours and hers) and lots of sex are important to your relationship. I'm not sure that makes the best long-term husband material. The new girl in these scenarios always make me scratch my head. Unemployed single dad living with his parents and crazy ex just don't add up to sexy for me.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 19, 2012 19:29:00 GMT -5
Probably because you're not socializing with the kind of crazy chicks that would date this kind of guy.
Well, there is that too. An awful lot of women want pets and projects rather than partners, and have no idea what to do with a real man. I'm not sure if it is due to them having such a low opinion of men in general, because they like to feel superior, or because they think that only men who will stay around are the ones who need them. Hopefully, the women will get smarter as you get older. I know that as I got older, the decent guys seemed to get smarter, but the proportion of decent guys got smaller.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 19, 2012 19:57:34 GMT -5
That was the plan, but some harpy had to go and quote it with my dang name on top. Thanks for that. I'm going to make you get all the knots out of my back that I get from sleeping on the couch.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 19, 2012 23:03:22 GMT -5
"Well, there is that too. An awful lot of women want pets and projects rather than partners, and have no idea what to do with a real man. I'm not sure if it is due to them having such a low opinion of men in general, because they like to feel superior, or because they think that only men who will stay around are the ones who need them. Hopefully, the women will get smarter as you get older. I know that as I got older, the decent guys seemed to get smarter, but the proportion of decent guys got smaller." Yes, I think many women suffer from poor self esteem and want to feel suprior to their mates and also know for sure he won't leave. Not all mind you, but many. But I'm sure a general lack of male role models in the lives in many children lead many women to have a low opinion of men in general and accept a lot of B.S. I also kind of think many women like helping people, so getting a guy who's a "project" means they can nurture their inner "nice person" to "help him." And yes, I am somewhat picky in a mate I guess. I'm independent and mature, so I expect the same from someone else. Will the women get smarter? Maybe, I guess we'll find out. Anyway, don't mean to hijack the thread
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 20, 2012 7:32:27 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2012 8:52:44 GMT -5
"The new girl in these scenarios always make me scratch my head. Unemployed single dad living with his parents and crazy ex just don't add up to sexy for me."
Well who knows what kind of a story this guy told her... He is driving an expensive SUV. He could have told her he has his own business, how would she know?? One ex-BF told me her sis was an entreprenuer, she owned her own business, it turns out she conned people on the internet!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2012 9:47:35 GMT -5
At least he is someone else problem right now. My wife told me her cousin seems to be coming out of it, stopped crying over it and focus on her son.
On zillow her house worth is 530k while trulia have it worth 420k. Two houses on their street just sold for 380k and 405k... Close to similar size/lot.
So it seems they are not that much underwater or may not even be. Now that she got ride of the loser I wish she would get her act together. - expensive house - six digits student loans (but she can get those forgiven as a social worker). - expensive taste
Something got to give!
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 20, 2012 10:24:40 GMT -5
Well who knows what kind of a story this guy told her... He is driving an expensive SUV. He could have told her he has his own business, how would she know?? One ex-BF told me her sis was an entreprenuer, she owned her own business, it turns out she conned people on the internet!!! Well, conning people on the internet is entrepreneurial, just not legit. As I often say about my boys' misdeeds - if only those powers could be used for good!
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 20, 2012 12:01:08 GMT -5
I'm not going to go off the walls on someone dating before they're legally divorced, but I don't think I would date a guy that's not and would caution my close friends to at least wait til he files. While they could just as easily go back to the wife after the ink on the papers is dry, I think it's a lot easier for them to do that before it is. Plus, it seems like it'd be a lot of drama dating someone going through a divorce.
As for him getting girls - a lot look at the nice car/house/things and don't realize the guy could be up to his eyeballs in debt buying all that crap and it could come crashing down all the time. They just want all the expensive stuff they can get before the house of cards falls. Those guys hate me when I don't get all impressed by it, saying "it's nice, but I could have all those things too and barely make it living paycheck to paycheck". A lot get upset at that...probably because they are living paycheck to paycheck and don't like that I called them out. Now the guy I've been on a few dates with that drives a nice BMW and talks about being halfway to being able to buy a condo for cash and made a quip about someone living paycheck to paycheck? *swoon* That I'll be impressed by.
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