Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:18:17 GMT -5
And you'll learn as you get further into your marriage (just like all the rest of us old guys have) that many times your wife just wants to rant and have you listen. She really does not want your comment and opinions. Yep, I am slowly learning. My complaint after she gets upsets is: why the hell did you ask me for my opinion if you did not want to hear it? I just don't get it. If you don't want me to comment don't ask me how I feel about something.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:26:22 GMT -5
You need to perfect your "umhmmm"s.... and "that's nice, dear"s. Women talk out their problems and aren't necessarily looking for any advice or response.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:30:55 GMT -5
Nope, they are still married until a judge says their divorce is final. At least that's the thinking around here.... how long does it take to get a divorce in your state? In my state, you have to be living in separate residences for a year before you can even file for divorce....and then after you file it takes several months to get a hearing with the master and get the signed paperwork....and that's for an uncontested divorce.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 19, 2012 9:34:08 GMT -5
My complaint after she gets upsets is: why the hell did you ask me for my opinion if you did not want to hear itPsst, they don't want to hear your acutal opinion. Just tell them what they want to hear and you'll be a lot happier. I am married to the king of passive aggressives so I speak from experience. If you can't do that then just mumble to yourself and repeat words like "bastard" "the jerk" "homewrecker". She'll fill in the rest for you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:42:28 GMT -5
"He drives a 2010 Range Rover; so she might think he has money." How can they afford a Range Rover (and a newer model at that) They have an expensive house on top of that. What does she drive??
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Dec 19, 2012 9:42:40 GMT -5
I don't care what other people do. I am however, highly amused when they put stupid shit like this out on FB. ETA: I think Mrs. Carl is a drama queen and looks for things to fight about. And I also think Carl should know better by now and just smile and nod. Again
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Dec 19, 2012 9:45:52 GMT -5
Repeat after me "Yes, dear." and lean in for a kiss. It will change the subject. Don't say it like you are being forced too. Say it like you are totally agreeing with her. Learn to roll your eyes and sigh on the inside. Get your game face on. LOL Say it with a smile!!!!! In Indiana, I believe you can file after 60 days of living separate and then it's either 60 or 90 days after filing that your divorce is final. As long as no one is fighting. Hell, it could be as little as 30 days separate. Been over 10 years since my last divorce. And I didn't fight anything. Give me the kids and our clothes...see ya later. No support and wanted nothing else. Also in Indiana you can get married for like $25 and divorced for $125-ish. If there's no childish bullshit.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:57:38 GMT -5
They live in NY so swamp might know more about how long it takes to officially get a divorce. As far as I know nothin has been filed and they are just separated right now and sharing custody of their son. "He drives a 2010 Range Rover; so she might think he has money." How can they afford a Range Rover (and a newer model at that) They have an expensive house on top of that. What does she drive?? They purchased their home for 418k, she is leasing a Fiat and her mom is leasing Mercedes Benz. From what my wife explained to me when one of her aunt passed away (also the cousin godmother) with no kids or spouse so she left that niece some money. She used that money to put money down on the Range Rover and on their house. I think that is main reason they really don't want to lose/sell the house since it is upside down and they gave like 100k down or something; they would lose the money they put down.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:02:41 GMT -5
Other subject and funny:
The reason he is using for moving out and their marriage not working is they have no privacy with her mom leaving there and this is bad. He wanted her to move out.
I thought that was reasonable but I told my wife she should have countered with: when you get a JOB and can pay half the mortgage and other bills I will more than gladly ask her to move out.
Their mortgage, insurance and property taxes run about 4k/month. I don't know how much the cousin makes but I know for sure it is not enough to support that mortgage on her own.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:04:12 GMT -5
Oh we'll, at least she's hot... Or I mean used to be...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:14:18 GMT -5
Other subject and funny: The reason he is using for moving out and their marriage not working is they have no privacy with her mom leaving there and this is bad. He wanted her to move out. I thought that was reasonable but I told my wife she should have countered with: when you get a JOB and can pay half the mortgage and other bills I will more than gladly ask her to move out. Their mortgage, insurance and property taxes run about 4k/month. I don't know how much the cousin makes but I know for sure it is not enough to support that mortgage on her own. Maybe I misunderstood...so her mom is paying the bills and he wants mom moved out? Yes! First of all the mother is co-owner of the house, at least legally. The daughter could not get approved for the house so the mother co-signed; even then her own bank did not approve them for the loan they had to with another place. Second: shortly after she moved out of her apartment and move in with them to help out. I guess they underestimated how much the expenses would come up to. So instead of paying "rent" she was helping the daughter pay the mortgage and utilities. That was only supposed to last a year but hubby never got a job and they needed the mother contributions. Hubby is disconnect with reality and wanted MIL to move out even if they could not afford the expenses on their own.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 19, 2012 10:16:18 GMT -5
Wow, what is it with the women in your families? I could do a better job of picking out a husband blindfolded.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:18:50 GMT -5
is the sex really that good?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:19:14 GMT -5
Wow, what is it with the women in your families? I could do a better job of picking out a husband blindfolded. To be fair I only post about the dysfunctional ones (about 3-4 I can count on both sides). We have cousins on both sides that are doing well for themselves and are happily married with no crazy shit to speak off: normal boring life
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 19, 2012 10:21:10 GMT -5
C, what your wife was looking for was reassurance that you won't leave her someday when she puts on weight and let's herself go after having kids or just simply getting older.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 19, 2012 10:23:20 GMT -5
It is when the mans a loser.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:25:39 GMT -5
I mean what fun would it be to post about:
- my wife cousin that was just elected assembly woman at 26 (lawyer) - her other cousin that is running for his second term as legislator (lawyer) - the one with his own law firm and a insane bachelor pad - the one making 200k, married for 14 years to her first boyfriend with 3 beautiful kids - one getting her PhD
My side - 3 cousins in the army doing well for themselves - 2 in medical school - 2 that have typical middle class jobs (accountant and teacher), own their home, happily married and with 2 and 3 kids respectfully - 1 juggling a newborn, RN and going back for her masters (also my godmother). - 1 running a successful business in Chicago and just got married to a great guy couple months back.
You guys only hear about the crazy, out of their mind, do stupid shit non stops ones.
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redkitty
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Post by redkitty on Dec 19, 2012 10:27:33 GMT -5
I think the guy is a loser and she might end up being better off without him in the end. Although buying a house they could never afford doesn't seem smart on either of their sides. Is he dating too soon? I feel whether you date a month or a year after the marriage is over, the marriage is still over. If they had no plans to get back together then it doesn't matter if they are still legally married.
I don't however think you did anything wrong by saying the guy has good taste in women. You have eyes, and can obviously see the girl is hot, what's the big deal? Maybe I'm strange, but if I ask my husband what he thinks and he replies "she's hot", he didn't commit a sin. I don't need him to lie to me, I'm not insecure. There are millions of hot women and hot men out there. Being married doesn't equal being blind. I understand everyone feels differently about it, but that's just my opinion.
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DVM gone riding
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Post by DVM gone riding on Dec 19, 2012 10:50:13 GMT -5
so just to clarify this is your wifes "crazy" cousin right the one with the looser husband that had a mental break down??
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 19, 2012 10:50:54 GMT -5
C, there are times when someone you love just wants you to listen and agree. Figuring out when this service is wanted and providing it is a secret to a happy marriage. (By the way, it isn't just women who do this. My father was the same way and so is my husband.)
Giving good advice wouldn't help in this situation, since there is nothing you can do about it. And you have to know that defending a man who kicked his wife to the curb and has moved on is going to dredge up the fears that every wife has.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 19, 2012 10:52:12 GMT -5
I don't however think you did anything wrong by saying the guy has good taste in women
I don't either but you'd think he'd know by now that Mrs C is going to twist whatever he says.
The correct answer is "You are right honey, he is a jerk and that woman he is dating is fugly compared to your cousin!"
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Dec 19, 2012 10:52:28 GMT -5
My wife tell me that this guy or that guy is hot or good looking or cute all the time. Just recently she told me she find one of our neighbors "cute"... I am not losing sleep over it thinking she is going to jump his bones. Why is it ok for her to say and not me? Why the two different standards? Because women are crazy. You will learn soon enough. He's been married 9 years. I don't think he's getting it at all.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:54:03 GMT -5
so just to clarify this is your wifes "crazy" cousin right the one with the looser husband that had a mental break down?? Yep that is the one. My wife is just upset that he is flaunting his new girlfriend all over Facebook when he is still legally married and they only separated like 2 months ago (late October). She thinks it is mean spirited and he is just trying to hurt his wife. I think he has just moved on. Obviously we disagree on that.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 10:57:31 GMT -5
Because women are crazy. You will learn soon enough. He's been married 9 years. I don't think he's getting it at all. Together for 9 and married for 4. I am a slow learner, what can I say My mom did admit she dropped me on my head a couple of times
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 19, 2012 10:58:50 GMT -5
My husband is a letch. He cand find the attractiveness in so many women. I've gotten used to it.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 11:00:09 GMT -5
Men are visual creatures. They can't help themselves.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 11:00:35 GMT -5
I don't however think you did anything wrong by saying the guy has good taste in womenI don't either but you'd think he'd know by now that Mrs C is going to twist whatever he says. The correct answer is "You are right honey, he is a jerk and that woman he is dating is fugly compared to your cousin!" DH has commented to me on other women being hot. He's a human male, he appreciates good looking women. It doesn't mean he loves me any less, it just means he likes to look. I like to look too.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 11:02:01 GMT -5
so just to clarify this is your wifes "crazy" cousin right the one with the looser husband that had a mental break down?? Yep that is the one. My wife is just upset that he is flaunting his new girlfriend all over Facebook when he is still legally married and they only separated like 2 months ago (late October). She thinks it is mean spirited and he is just trying to hurt his wife. I think he has just moved on. Obviously we disagree on that. I think he's a douchecanoe and it's going to come back to bite him in the ass when he's looking for alimony, but all these posts out there show he's been spending money on his new chickie. post away, dude!!!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 19, 2012 11:04:30 GMT -5
I've never been a bigger drooler. But recently I've decided that there is no harm in it. So, after a decade of marriage, every once in a while my husband will get a comment like "DS's friend is coming to play. He the one with the super-good-looking father." The look on his face = priceless.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 11:10:28 GMT -5
Yep that is the one. My wife is just upset that he is flaunting his new girlfriend all over Facebook when he is still legally married and they only separated like 2 months ago (late October). She thinks it is mean spirited and he is just trying to hurt his wife. I think he has just moved on. Obviously we disagree on that. I think he's a douchecanoe and it's going to come back to bite him in the ass when he's looking for alimony, but all these posts out there show he's been spending money on his new chickie. post away, dude!!! Can he really get any alimony? I am finding that hard to believe. She got her inheritance before they were married. The house is under her mother and her name (and is upside down so no equity). The car is under her name and purchased before they were married They got married in 2010 so marriage lasted 2 years and she is a social worker so I am guessing make between 50-75k. How much alimony can you get for that and only married 2 years? On the other hand I read in the WSJ that the mother of the CT shooter was getting 240k/year in alimony payments set to increase to 300k/year (if she wasn't killed). INSANE!!! For her to get that much I wonder how much her husband was grossing a year.
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