Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:01:44 GMT -5
Last night while browsing Facebook my wife saw on her newsfeed that a girl left a message for her cousin husband stating: "Thanks for the roses hon" to which he replied " ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) " My wife was pissed and was like how can he does this, going on and on. I question why was she upset: he moved out, living at his parents and they are sharing custody of their son. I would consider them "separated" and he can actually date even if he is still legally married. That did not seat well with her because if he did love his wife he wouldn't be dating soon after to which I said the marriage was probably over long before he moved out. Since she was not getting a sympathetic ear from me she called her mom and guess what? Her mom told her the same thing I did: she is not surprised, after all he did move out, they have been talk of divorce and some folks did tell them that they have seen him with other girls. So since that did not satisfy her she came back to me and was showing me pictures of the girl. I said "She's hot, at least he has good taste in women" Her: my cousin used to be hot to before this bastard and having a kid. Me: I did say "he has good taste in women in general" meaning I did consider your cousin hot at some point. And key word is "used to", this girl "is" hot! And here I go opening a can of worms. So now she goes: so if I am no longer "hot" you are going to leave me for a hotter model. Yeah I need to learn to just nod and say "yes honey" but so not my nature. A few other questions : how long after a married couple is separated are they allowed to date? Do they have to wait till they are officially "divorced" to start dating? What is acceptable? I still cannot get over that a guy with no job, a kid, still legally married and living at his parents is getting tail. I guess there is always hope for us guys!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:06:18 GMT -5
I don't see much hope honestly, but to each his own.
If hot is your only criteria for good taste, I can see why your wife may worry... Actually can see a lot of things...
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Dec 19, 2012 8:08:20 GMT -5
In my circle of friends, it's not acceptable for a man to be seen in public with another woman until the divorce is final. Otherwise, it's assumed that the new girlfriend "broke up" the marriage. I AM curious how a guy with no job could afford roses for the new girlfriend. I guess his mommy & daddy are still giving him an allowance. ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:11:44 GMT -5
In my circle of friends, it's not acceptable for a man to be seen in public with another woman until the divorce is final. Otherwise, it's assumed that the new girlfriend "broke up" the marriage. Even if it is months after he moved out and they were separated? It has been 3 months or going on 3 months for them and they don't seem to be making any progress towards reconciliation. So I would assume that is a safe window to start "dating"
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Dec 19, 2012 8:14:00 GMT -5
Nope, they are still married until a judge says their divorce is final. At least that's the thinking around here....
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quince
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Post by quince on Dec 19, 2012 8:19:00 GMT -5
I think it's fine. I'm a big fan of commitment, less so of marriage, so once the commitment is dissolved, the rest is all paperwork.
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Dec 19, 2012 8:22:32 GMT -5
There are some pretty dumb women out there. But, at least you know she ain't dating him for his money.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Dec 19, 2012 8:26:13 GMT -5
There are some pretty dumb women out there. But, at least you know she ain't dating him for his money. I would say that Mrs. C's cousin is pretty lacking in the common sense department as well.
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Dec 19, 2012 8:27:56 GMT -5
I don't see an issue. They aren't playing house anymore.
If they are heavy in religion then I guess there are people who are going to see an issue.
But for real, our emotions aren't something that we can control. And he has no reason to NOT follow his emotion right now. Very few people who are 'separated' every work things out from my area.
I'm with Carl on this. There isn't an issue. Well, I see no issue.
Or has Casanova been telling wifey that they would be working it out?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 8:31:21 GMT -5
I don't care what other people do. I am however, highly amused when they put stupid shit like this out on FB.
ETA: I think Mrs. Carl is a drama queen and looks for things to fight about. And I also think Carl should know better by now and just smile and nod.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:37:19 GMT -5
If hot is your only criteria for good taste, I can see why your wife may worry... Actually can see a lot of things... Seriously? Lol! I don't know the girl from Adam and all I have to judge her are pictures on Facebook. She is hot plain and simple, I am a guy plain and simple. What am I going to judge her on? Conversation piece? Knowledge of politics? Grace under pressure? Grammar? Ghetto or bourgie? Educated or not? Taking only the physical aspect which is what I have: he has good taste in women.
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Dec 19, 2012 8:37:41 GMT -5
Skubbiky, I assume he is a loser.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 8:38:05 GMT -5
If hot is your only criteria for good taste, I can see why your wife may worry... Actually can see a lot of things... Seriously? Lol! I don't know the girl from Adam and all I have to judge her are pictures on Facebook. She is hot plain and simple, I am a guy plain and simple. What am I going to judge her on? Conversation piece? Knowledge of politics? Grace under pressure? Gramma? Ghetto or bourgie? Educated or not? Taking only the physical aspect which is what I have: he has good taste in women. She might be batshit crazy, you don't know..........
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:39:56 GMT -5
Miss Manners just had a question about this within the past week or so and she said that it is not proper to date until your divorce is final. But there is nothing wrong with "friends" spending time together. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:40:09 GMT -5
There are some pretty dumb women out there. But, at least you know she ain't dating him for his money. He drives a 2010 Range Rover; so she might think he has money. *** but it is under his current wife name lol!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:44:39 GMT -5
Yeah, hot really helped him make a good choice the first time....
I miss the eye roll button ...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 8:45:43 GMT -5
has anyone else observed that it seems that really hot women can get away with all sorts of bat shit crazy stuff, while us mere mortals can't?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:46:00 GMT -5
Post picks of your wife.. I need to understand your judgment before commenting further.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:47:06 GMT -5
Yeah, hot really helped him make a good choice the first time.... I miss the eye roll button ... Let's see: - undergrad from NYU - masters from Columbia - JD from St John's (stopped after first year because she was pregnant). She is definitely not "stupid". Lack in common sense and doesn't know how to pick a good man, yes. Stupid, definitely not. That is one thing I give props to my wife family... They are all well educated.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2012 8:48:54 GMT -5
Yeah, hot really helped him make a good choice the first time.... I miss the eye roll button ... Let's see: - undergrad from NYU - masters from Columbia - JD from St John's (stopped after first year because she was pregnant). She is definitely not "stupid". Lack in common sense and doesn't know how to pick a good man, yes. Stupid, definitely not. That is one thing I give props to my wife family... They are all well educated. I went to law school with some really dumb people. Education doesn't make someone smart. This lady may be book smart, but she doesn't have a lick of common sense.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:50:07 GMT -5
Seriously? Lol! I don't know the girl from Adam and all I have to judge her are pictures on Facebook. She is hot plain and simple, I am a guy plain and simple. What am I going to judge her on? Conversation piece? Knowledge of politics? Grace under pressure? Gramma? Ghetto or bourgie? Educated or not? Taking only the physical aspect which is what I have: he has good taste in women. She might be batshit crazy, you don't know.......... She probably is, I don't know. But I think she falls under one of the following: - desperate because he is not a prize (by her name we are sure she is Haitian and she is 28) - he is feeding her lies and she doesn't know much about him.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Dec 19, 2012 8:52:08 GMT -5
Let's see: - undergrad from NYU - masters from Columbia - JD from St John's (stopped after first year because she was pregnant). She is definitely not "stupid". Lack in common sense and doesn't know how to pick a good man, yes. Stupid, definitely not. That is one thing I give props to my wife family... They are all well educated. I went to law school with some really dumb people. Education doesn't make someone smart. This lady may be book smart, but she doesn't have a lick of common sense. Amen to that! And yes, the hot ones can get away with all kinds of crazy shit. Usually the super hot ones are also super crazy.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:53:21 GMT -5
Miss Manners just had a question about this within the past week or so and she said that it is not proper to date until your divorce is final. But there is nothing wrong with "friends" spending time together. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) So as long as they are "just friends" they are ok and they can change their status to dating one the divorce is final. Interesting! But I agree with Swamp, it is stupid to put it all over Facebook when you just recently separated from your wife.
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Regis
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Post by Regis on Dec 19, 2012 8:54:09 GMT -5
Let's see: - undergrad from NYU - masters from Columbia - JD from St John's (stopped after first year because she was pregnant). She is definitely not "stupid". Lack in common sense and doesn't know how to pick a good man, yes. Stupid, definitely not. That is one thing I give props to my wife family... They are all well educated. Not to change the subject but having degrees and going to college is a WHOLE LOT different than being well educated. And you'll learn as you get further into your marriage (just like all the rest of us old guys have) that many times your wife just wants to rant and have you listen. She really does not want your comment and opinions.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Dec 19, 2012 8:58:10 GMT -5
She might be batshit crazy, you don't know.......... She probably is, I don't know. But I think she falls under one of the following: - desperate because he is not a prize (by her name we are sure she is Haitian and she is 28) - he is feeding her lies and she doesn't know much about him. I just can't wrap my head around this obsession the culture has with having a man. There is such a thing as a bad one! I'm 28 and single, I don't consider it the end of the world. Far better than being with a loser!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 8:58:50 GMT -5
Nope, they are still married until a judge says their divorce is final. At least that's the thinking around here.... In my culture folks are pretty lazy about the whole divorce process. I know folks that have been separated for over 10-20 years, had boyfriends/girlfriends during that time, other kids with other people but are still legally married. Heck that cousin mom has been separated from her husband for as long as I have been with my wife (9 years) and they are still legally married.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:01:37 GMT -5
I think maybe you saying that she looked "nice" would have been easier for your wife to hear than the word, "hot." My wife tell me that this guy or that guy is hot or good looking or cute all the time. Just recently she told me she find one of our neighbors "cute"... I am not losing sleep over it thinking she is going to jump his bones. Why is it ok for her to say and not me? Why the two different standards?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:03:17 GMT -5
I think maybe you saying that she looked "nice" would have been easier for your wife to hear than the word, "hot." My wife tell me that this guy or that guy is hot or good looking or cute all the time. Just recently she told me she find one of our neighbors "cute"... I am not losing sleep over it thinking she is going to jump his bones. Why is it ok for her to say and not me? Why the two different standards? Because women are crazy. You will learn soon enough.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:03:50 GMT -5
I don't think he will....
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2012 9:07:22 GMT -5
She probably is, I don't know. But I think she falls under one of the following: - desperate because he is not a prize (by her name we are sure she is Haitian and she is 28) - he is feeding her lies and she doesn't know much about him. I just can't wrap my head around this obsession the culture has with having a man. There is such a thing as a bad one! I'm 28 and single, I don't consider it the end of the world. Far better than being with a loser! Let put it this way: my wife has a bachelors and a masters and her biggest accomplishment in her mothers eyes is still "getting married" I have a cousin with 2 masters, an accomplished RN and she wasn't a success in her parents eyes till she got married at 42 which is OLD in our culture. My cousin is in the Army, a masters and her parents are still waiting for her to get married because she is past the age (32). It's the culture; we cannot change our folks. Some of us don't care about it, some of us give into the pressure.
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