The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 16:00:27 GMT -5
For the picture window we originally went with drapes with a valence. Since that was too expensive we then went to roman shades. For the bedrooms we're gong with honeycomb shades except for the Master where I'd like Roman Shades So: Picture Window (actually three sections) Roman Shades Sliding glass patio doors Vertical Roman Shades Two 24'X74' inch windows in the hallway Roman Shades Two 24'X74' windows in Master Bedroom - Roman Shades Five 24'X74' windows in the other three Bedrooms - honeycomb shades. Have you gone to the Google? and looked for prices? Overstock.com has a wide variety - not sure how good/bad their pricing is... what about someplace like ::gasp:: Ikea?
Can you do less expensive treatments in some rooms?
My home and furnishings are traditional. Ikea is a bit too modern for our tastes. Our first house together was a Victorian style farmhouse and we've kind of carried that theme and color scheme (deep reds, warm colors) through to this house. That being said, almost all of our lower level furniture is from Ikea. I think their stuff is pretty decent for the price and wish it wasn't so modern. I'm Googling stuff right now. Problem with a lot of stock (pre-made) items is that the windows are over 40 years old and not really in standard sizes. The family room, living room, and hallway windows are all kind of in a common area so to my untrained eye it would look odd if we went with different treatments. I'm likely wrong here but I don't have the vision for it. We are going cheaper in the bedrooms. Home Depot is looking pretty promising.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 15:38:10 GMT -5
You might want to pm @athena53. She's a recently retired actuary. Actuaries, from what I understand, are either life insurance actuaries or casualty insurance actuaries. athena53 was the latter. To me, that always sounded more interesting than life insurance. I'm sure she can give you some good practical advice. There are also pension plan actuaries. Most of those work for companies that act as consultants to other companies. It's a great gig if you can get it.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 15:00:41 GMT -5
Tess, I am so sorry for your loss.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 14:14:34 GMT -5
Yea, Opti - we have custom woven blinds at the old house and loved them. IIRC we paid about $5K for 16 windows but that was about 12 years ago. The windows in the house are double pane with storm windows. I was really pleased with how they did with insulation this past winter. I prefer to have some light come through so total blackout isn't really my thing. One of the other reasons we like our house is how the windows face N,S,E,W and where there are trees planted. Really, it couldn't get more perfect. The picture window faces east and there are trees on the west side that provide shade but still let natural light in.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 14:08:26 GMT -5
Ohh, I'm on the Home Depot website and I can have custom made Hampton Bay woven blinds.
My problem with stock is my windows are 741/4" tall and most stock only goes up to 72"
The reviews are pretty good. I've made an in store appointment for Saturday. Only three weeks lead time which is better than the 6-8 weeks the other two places quoted me as well.
I can go drapes, roman shades, woven blinds. Just whatever works, looks decent, and doesn't break the bank.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 13:55:34 GMT -5
I started with drapes, which was really pricey, then moved to shades because they were cheaper.
I may move back to drapes if I can find lengths/widths in stock that fit our windows.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 13:50:53 GMT -5
tack up a fleece blanket over each window? I guess that's a step up from the sheets that are there now...
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 13:50:35 GMT -5
For the picture window we originally went with drapes with a valence. Since that was too expensive we then went to roman shades.
For the bedrooms we're gong with honeycomb shades except for the Master where I'd like Roman Shades
So:
Picture Window (actually three sections) Roman Shades Sliding glass patio doors Vertical Roman Shades Two 24'X74' inch windows in the hallway Roman Shades
Two 24'X74' windows in Master Bedroom - Roman Shades Five 24'X74' windows in the other three Bedrooms - honeycomb shades.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 13:40:22 GMT -5
You realize being an actuary is super boring, right? BUT super lucrative. You pass all the exams and you're making solid six figures+ easily. Few weekends, little customer facing contact. If I'd know about it before tax sucked me in I may have gone into it.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 13:36:26 GMT -5
So I've posted about the kitchen quote shock. Got a window coverings quote shock yesterday. *Sigh* The house we moved into was rented before it was put on the market. Most of the windows have no coverings (except for the bedrooms, which have wood blinds that I hate and the hardware doesn't work on them). First went to a local drapery company who started the quote with $3700 just for the picture window in the living room. Oh.hell.no. Then we went with JCPenney which was more reasonable I guess? Still, $9400 for the picture window, one sliding glass door, and 9 other windows. Still oh.hell.no. Now I'm taking my cheap ass to Home Depot to see what I can do. The windows are 72" tall so a bit past industry standard. Any suggestions or am I being unreasonable?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 12:48:00 GMT -5
Dear Friggy, lolololol. "Friggy." Friggy the fuzzball. I'm never going to stop doing this. Sincerely, Humidity Vito and Bruno are missing. Someone appears to have left them out of the compound. Be vewy cautious! SHIT!!! (runs off to make sure we have frEEzer space)
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 11:30:21 GMT -5
Captain are you asking as a mod or a poster? As a poster. Actually, I try very hard to not have to openly moderate on the threads. I believe when people start throwing labels around or make statements like that they are more interested in shutting down a discussion than having an open discussion. That's just my take on it and I hope it's not your intent. It does again bring up something I've noticed in debates - that is - throwing labels at someone who expresses an opinion with which you don't agree. We see it all the time in threads on contentious topics. Which is why we're constantly going on about addressing the issue, not the poster.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 10:08:34 GMT -5
Ok, I guess I didn't know there were 16 types of personalities defined before. Does anyone know what the -A after mine means? (I'm almost afraid to ask...)
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 9:24:58 GMT -5
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 8:40:06 GMT -5
milee - Well stated. I couldn't have said it better if I tried.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 8:33:27 GMT -5
How many more do we need to add to the list of things the child-free subsidize for those that have children? There is already significant preference in the tax code, there has to be a limit. So, you don't want Americans to have a decent replacement birth level? You'll have to import immigrants from the third world. Which demographic would you like a huge influx of? Pakistani? Chinese? Middle Eastern? What exactly are you implying by that Weltz? Why did you chose those specific demographics?
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 8:15:35 GMT -5
Or, we take away the incentive for women to try and cement a relationship or trap a man with a kid. We push for being able to abdicate our parental rights, so there's nothing that a woman can gain by having the gotcha pregnancy. Using that as a reason for it implies that gotcha pregnancies are a common practice. That is blatantly untrue and displays a contempt and prejudice against women. Later - this is the second time in this thread you taken the words of someone who doesn't agree with you and twisted it into a label that quite simply doesn't fit. So, 1. So exactly how you get from the quote you quoted above, to the realization that the poster was implying gotcha pregnancies were common? 2. Tell me exactly how such an implication (if one existed, which sorry - I don't see) translates into contempt and prejudice against women? You may not have come from the same socioeconomic background that I did, but the "I was afraid I was gonna loose him" pregnancy is far more common that you want to acknowledge. I personally know of three of them. In fact, a well know trade publication has reported on this a few times. Below an excerpt: "Some of the women admitted that they had not used birth control with guys who had appealing characteristics. To determine whether such behavior is widespread, Spohn surveyed nearly 400 women at two community colleges. More than a third of women said they had risked pregnancy in the past with men who had attractive qualities—such as commitment to the relationship, good financial prospects or the desire for a family—but hadn't discussed the possibility of pregnancy with their partner."
www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200508/not-so-accidental-pregnanciesNow I'm not suggesting that 1/3 of unintended pregnancies are gotcha ones, but based on the survey above if more than 1/3 admit to thinking about it then I'm gonna guess it's a lot more than 2-3%. Of course, what woman would ever admit openly to trying to do that? Right - very few.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 12, 2015 7:53:20 GMT -5
Dear self, You have completely lost it. Signed, Who knew they would say yes? Ok - spill it!
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 15:27:10 GMT -5
@hickle - but then the question is do we judge people as individuals or en masse?
I agree there is a social contract, but did the individual officer involved in the shooting break it? No - at least not as far as any reports I've seen.
Now, using the same argument, if a small group of minorities violate the social contract does that give the police the right to treat all minorities as if they've violated the contract? My argument would be an unqualified no and I think yours would as well.
You could say police should be held to a higher standard and I do agree with this to an extent. BUT that does not mean (IMHO) that police have to take abuse, allow themselves to become sitting ducks, and put themselves at unnecessary risk. We've had several discussions about this on this site.
Like I said, I'd like to finish reading the full report then hopefully I can comment with some baseline of knowledge.
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 14:54:08 GMT -5
Made it through 20 more pages, have 20 more to go. I'll knock that out on the train ride home.
So, a few comments.
Yes - there was a money grab in process. First - absolutely no doubt but I want to discuss that in more detail later.
Second - yes there is no doubt minor violations did happen. The issue the report (and I) have is the rate of charges/prosecution was disproportionate based on race. You guessed it, minorities had higher rates of charges and convictions.
Third - The severity of the charge varied based on the race of the person charged. Minorities were often charged with higher level crimes and fined more for what was basically the same violation.
All of the above no doubt contributes to an environment of distrust. Does that give you the right to try to take a cops gun and cold cock him? Apparently a jury didn't think so which is why no charges were brought against the officer.
Many different issues, all connected as far as cause and effect. I want to finish reading the report in detail before I comment more.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 14:29:18 GMT -5
Meh. I've earned every single grey on my head. That, and
1. It's expensive 2. It's time consuming 3. I can't stand listening to beauty salon chatter 4. At some point you either have to go through the awkward grow-out phase or have unrealistically colored hair for someone your age.
I'd rather not deal with this so I'm letting my natural color (or lack of it in some areas) stay.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 14:23:18 GMT -5
Dear Mangement,
(Gawd this could really out me if anyone from my company is on this forum)
Please do not ask me to move floors away from my team. I don't see how it will benefit anyone overall. That, and I REALLY don't want to be down the hall from you.
Just let me stay in my little corner where I'm at and not get noticed too much. I like it here, it's quiet and safe and to be honest I don't have you bugging me every hour or so.
Signed (Ignore the woman behind the curtain) The Captain.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 11:33:43 GMT -5
I've been hesitant to post because I've got my shit more together now than I have in years. 1. Don't want to brag...well maybe a little 2. Don't want to Jinx myself. Only big thing hanging over my had is the 2014 taxes and I expect to wrap those up in the next few days. Cleaning ladies came yesterday. On Sunday we straightened (only took a few minutes), I got my mammogram done, grocery shopping done, etc. Plunked 5 more things in the Goodwill box (after I added them to the list) which is now full and will be dropped off this weekend. Yesterday I paid bills during lunch and contacted one more contractor for a quote. Last night I got the sheets and blankets run through the washer and drier. Dinner was leftovers so no work there. At this point in time my house is clean, straightened, all bills are paid, beds have fresh sheets on them and quicken is in balance. Both cars have full tanks of gas and there is still money in the bank. The pile of doom is no more and I'm getting ready for a major kitchen remodel. Seriously, feels like a heavy wet blanket has been lifted from my head.
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 10:29:13 GMT -5
I guess it's a matter of perception then. I don't necessarily see a disagreement with a point of view as contempt. Admittedly Rich is a bit abrasive at times, but I don't see his posts as demeaning or signifying contempt for the gender. And yes, I know people who have, and it's been admitted on other threads that it's not uncommon for women to get pregnant in the hopes that it will cement a relationship. Hell, we've even had posters here admit they had the "oops" (not so oops) baby that their DH didn't want but decided to unilaterally have over his wishes. It happens even if you don't want to acknowledge it. I once started a thread asking if a woman unilaterally had the right to hide a pregnancy from the father. The overwhelming consensus from the women was yes, she had the right to deny the father any role in the child's life even to the point of not letting him know the child exists. How messed up is that? The fact is that, right or wrong, the woman gets to call almost all the shots when it comes to pregnancy and access to the baby, unless of course they want assistance in supporting the child. Even then the majority of the rights accrue to the mother. I've been accused of hating women, which I find hilarious. I just call hypocrisy out when I see it. Either you want fair and equal treatment for both genders or you don't. IMHO the fact that you actually carry the child does not give you more or less rights in calling the shots when it does, in fact, take two to create that child. You may not agree which is fine. The world would be a very dull place if we were all the same.
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 10:13:56 GMT -5
This makes it sound like landlords are 'gouging' their renters - with that pricey rent that goes up every year... Yes, one's PI doesn't change over the life of the mortgage - but Taxes, Insurance, and Maintenance DO. Woo hoo! The mortgage on my house is $387.00 - but I have $550 a month for Taxes/insurance... and if my Property tax appeal fails this year my TI expense will jump up to a minimum of $600 a month... so yeah, my PI staid the same... but my overall monthly expense went up by $50... I have to raise the rent on my properties because MY expenses keep going up... So yea that! The real estate taxes on both my rentals went up by over 8% last year. I pay more each month for taxes than I do PI and insurance combined as well. Water rates have gone up as well. I am now transitioning the water on my last property from landlord expense to tenant expense.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 9:49:53 GMT -5
MJ2.0 - I'm with minnesotapaintlady on this one. Not to say your ex is a bad person, but he doesn't sound like he's really got it together financially. Those are the types who tend to hold on too long and loose everything. You need to get your name off the title and mortgage and have some sort of written agreement as to what you equity is at this point in time and legally bind him to it. Otherwise he could stop paying and anything you have could be eaten up in missed payments and legal fees. This just isn't that easy especially in regard to the mortgage. The bank doesn't give a crap that they're divorcing. Seriously, It's been eight years since my divorce was finalized. The only reason DH is off the first mortgage and the title is because of HARP. He's still on the second mortgage. Granted my house is still at least $50K under water which is why I cannot refinance it. I understand, it's a way of forcing the Ex's hand. Either he refinances and get's MJ's name off the title/mortgage or the house gets put on the market. Time to put up or shutup. MJ say's there is equity so we're not talking an underwater situation (yet).
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 9:47:44 GMT -5
gotta hand it to YM - ask one question and get answers to another! Believe it or not it's because we care and don't want to see you go through what we (I've) seen others go through. You've got enough running through your head as it is, you know you can count on us to point out all the potential pitfalls, after all - that's what we're here for!
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 9:21:37 GMT -5
MJ2.0 - I'm with minnesotapaintlady on this one. Not to say your ex is a bad person, but he doesn't sound like he's really got it together financially. Those are the types who tend to hold on too long and loose everything. You need to get your name off the title and mortgage and have some sort of written agreement as to what you equity is at this point in time and legally bind him to it. Otherwise he could stop paying and anything you have could be eaten up in missed payments and legal fees.
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 8:56:17 GMT -5
I sooooooooo don't want to go this route but I think I need to at this point. A lot of you know my situation, but I'll try and shorthand it for those that don't: X and I finalized the divorce agreement in Feb, but we've been living apart since last July. We've been racking up bills due to this (hotels/AirBnB, food, etc). He's been dragging out the house sale/transfer this entire time (I want it sold, he wants to keep it). Now he's decided he wants to keep it & get me off it - great. I found myself an apartment 15-20 mins from him in a slightly cheaper area - we agreed that I would stop paying the mortgage and house bills when I move in. I have to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent basically within 2 weeks of each other (security dep in NJ is typically 1.5 months rent), plus I need some furnishings and things to make it at least semi-homey for DS's sake. My CC has been hovering around its limit for several months, and I have no savings. While I wait for my cut of the equity/house sale proceeds, I need some money to get me the security deposit, pay off my CC, and give me a small cushion in case of an emergency. I'm looking at $10,000 max ($3125 for security dep + first month's rent, $3950 for the cc, $1500 in savings, and use the rest to help to repay the loan). Once I get the house money, I will use that to pay off what remains of the loan. FYI, my car is paid for. What advice can you give me on trying to get a good rate or which lender is decent? MJ - I have alarm bells going off here. You say your divorce is agreeable, but you Ex is dragging his feet on the house. What's to keep him from dragging them even more once you are moved out entirely? Not the question you asked, but I wouldn't move out until that equity check is in my hand. Is there a time limit - how is the equity determined? Also, why are you picking up all the extra living expenses - he should split them since he hasn't given you the equity yet. In other words - is there a written agreement that if you don't have X cash in your hand by X date the house goes on the market?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 8:41:17 GMT -5
Pffth. I wish.
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