MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 8:10:54 GMT -5
I sooooooooo don't want to go this route but I think I need to at this point.
A lot of you know my situation, but I'll try and shorthand it for those that don't: X and I finalized the divorce agreement in Feb, but we've been living apart since last July. We've been racking up bills due to this (hotels/AirBnB, food, etc). He's been dragging out the house sale/transfer this entire time (I want it sold, he wants to keep it). Now he's decided he wants to keep it & get me off it - great. I found myself an apartment 15-20 mins from him in a slightly cheaper area - we agreed that I would stop paying the mortgage and house bills when I move in. I have to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent basically within 2 weeks of each other (security dep in NJ is typically 1.5 months rent), plus I need some furnishings and things to make it at least semi-homey for DS's sake. My CC has been hovering around its limit for several months, and I have no savings.
While I wait for my cut of the equity/house sale proceeds, I need some money to get me the security deposit, pay off my CC, and give me a small cushion in case of an emergency. I'm looking at $10,000 max ($3125 for security dep + first month's rent, $3950 for the cc, $1500 in savings, and use the rest to help to repay the loan). Once I get the house money, I will use that to pay off what remains of the loan. FYI, my car is paid for. What advice can you give me on trying to get a good rate or which lender is decent?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 11, 2015 8:19:31 GMT -5
I think you would get a better rate if you took a loan against your car. I just looked it up on Wells Fargo, and refinancing a car loan is under 4%, but the personal loans are over 8% - plus an application fee.
I would start at your regular bank. Even better if you have a credit union. The rates will be comparable and it is less hassle if you already have a relationship with them?
How much equity will you walk away with?
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Aug 11, 2015 8:23:22 GMT -5
Your regular bank would be a good place to start. I got one through Wells Fargo a long time ago and the rate wasn't bad and it was super easy.
But if it is truly a very short term thing, a 401k loan may be an okay choice. Is that an option for you? How much will you clear from equity in the house?
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Aug 11, 2015 8:23:56 GMT -5
What about doing a cash advance/balance transfer check from a CC? Just write the balance transfer check to yourself. I have been seeing a 3% fee and then 0% for 18 months. Aren't personal loans around 10%?
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 11, 2015 8:26:53 GMT -5
Get 10 members on the board to each loan you 1k.
My real answer is I like thyme's car loan idea.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Aug 11, 2015 8:27:10 GMT -5
Did you have a divorce lawyer?
Do you mean that you've been paying to live in a hotel AND paying the mortgage on the house that he's living in?
Yikes!
Why would you agree to pay the house bills if you're not living there? If he wants the house, then HE needs to pay the bills. If he can't afford the bills today, how will he afford to pay them next month?
I suggest that you don't pay one more dime towards a place that you don't live in.
Don't worry about making the place homey. Start off with some mattresses on the floor, a few folding chairs and TV trays. You can add furniture later.
Borrow what you NEED from a credit union.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 8:32:49 GMT -5
thyme4change, I talked to my mom and she mentioned something about using my car as collateral. I have BOA (no CU unfortunately) and I haven't seen anything on their site about personal loans - and I scoured that page! imawino, I also noticed that WF's rates aren't that bad. I'll check for the secured loans info. Also, I already took out a 401k loan and that got completely gobbled up in the divorce process - legal help (we "shared" a lawyer since this was mutual/amicable, but I still had to pay half the fees) and various other costs that I mentioned earlier.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 8:34:12 GMT -5
What about doing a cash advance/balance transfer check from a CC? Just write the balance transfer check to yourself. I have been seeing a 3% fee and then 0% for 18 months. Aren't personal loans around 10%? I'm near max on my cc - I can't really use that to float expenses anymore. Nor do I want to open another cc.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 11, 2015 8:36:05 GMT -5
IKEA is your friend
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Aug 11, 2015 8:37:37 GMT -5
I was about to suggest a CC, even a new one, until I saw your last comment. so without a new CC, the next thing I'd suggest is Discover. I get personal loan offers from them almost weekly (I happen to have 2 cards with them, that may be part of why) for amounts up to $25,000. I think the last one had an interest rate in the 6-7% range.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 11, 2015 8:37:50 GMT -5
1. Can you borrow from your parents? 2. What about those peer to peer loans places? Anyone know anything about those? 3. What's the rough timeline on your ex refinancing the house?
I tend to agree with Peace - don't borrow to pay off the CC, just get enough to get into the aprt.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 8:38:55 GMT -5
Did you have a divorce lawyer? Do you mean that you've been paying to live in a hotel AND paying the mortgage on the house that he's living in? Yikes! Why would you agree to pay the house bills if you're not living there? If he wants the house, then HE needs to pay the bills. If he can't afford the bills today, how will he afford to pay them next month? I suggest that you don't pay one more dime towards a place that you don't live in. Don't worry about making the place homey. Start off with some mattresses on the floor, a few folding chairs and TV trays. You can add furniture later. Borrow what you NEED from a credit union. we have been "sharing" the house - keeping DS there while we come and go. X stays at his parents', and since I have no family in the area I've been using hotels and AirBnB. I was staying with a colleague for a few months, but her mom had an emergency needed to stay with her. my mom has a lot of stuff in storage, so I'll definitely hit that up before buying anything. I will need a youth bed for DS for sure, and I do need to make it homey. This will be a big deal to DS and he doesn't need to go from a fully furnished home to a mattress on the floor and nothing else. Craigslist/garage sales/flea markets/Ikea will be my best friends.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 11, 2015 8:39:07 GMT -5
thyme4change, I talked to my mom and she mentioned something about using my car as collateral. I have BOA (no CU unfortunately) and I haven't seen anything on their site about personal loans - and I scoured that page! imawino, I also noticed that WF's rates aren't that bad. I'll check for the secured loans info. Also, I already took out a 401k loan and that got completely gobbled up in the divorce process - legal help (we "shared" a lawyer since this was mutual/amicable, but I still had to pay half the fees) and various other costs that I mentioned earlier. BOA does have an "auto refinance loan". You may want to walk into a branch or make an appt with someone there to see what they say.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 11, 2015 8:42:10 GMT -5
thyme4change, I talked to my mom and she mentioned something about using my car as collateral. I have BOA (no CU unfortunately) and I haven't seen anything on their site about personal loans - and I scoured that page! imawino, I also noticed that WF's rates aren't that bad. I'll check for the secured loans info. Also, I already took out a 401k loan and that got completely gobbled up in the divorce process - legal help (we "shared" a lawyer since this was mutual/amicable, but I still had to pay half the fees) and various other costs that I mentioned earlier. Wow - I guess they decided personal loans were no longer worth it. Credit cards are really a better vehicle for personal loans - especially from the bank's perspective. I did peek at the B of A website to see what car loan rate are and refinancing a car comes at rates as low as under 3%. That is the way to go. You aren't going to find a rate better than that. How old is your car? I suspect there is an age limit, but I didn't check that closely.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Aug 11, 2015 8:43:59 GMT -5
Did you have a divorce lawyer? Do you mean that you've been paying to live in a hotel AND paying the mortgage on the house that he's living in? Yikes! Why would you agree to pay the house bills if you're not living there? If he wants the house, then HE needs to pay the bills. If he can't afford the bills today, how will he afford to pay them next month? I suggest that you don't pay one more dime towards a place that you don't live in. Don't worry about making the place homey. Start off with some mattresses on the floor, a few folding chairs and TV trays. You can add furniture later. Borrow what you NEED from a credit union. we have been "sharing" the house - keeping DS there while we come and go. X stays at his parents', and since I have no family in the area I've been using hotels and AirBnB. I was staying with a colleague for a few months, but her mom had an emergency needed to stay with her. my mom has a lot of stuff in storage, so I'll definitely hit that up before buying anything. I will need a youth bed for DS for sure, and I do need to make it homey. This will be a big deal to DS and he doesn't need to go from a fully furnished home to a mattress on the floor and nothing else. Craigslist/garage sales/flea markets/Ikea will be my best friends. Are you not taking any of the home furnishings? Shouldn't that stuff get divided?
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 11, 2015 8:44:45 GMT -5
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Aug 11, 2015 8:45:56 GMT -5
If your son has things he recognizes such as his comforter and favorite toys, he will be fine.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Aug 11, 2015 8:47:45 GMT -5
I feel like most of these "refinance" car loans are offered only if you already have a car loan with said bank and are looking to lower the rate. Can you refinance a car you already own and don't have a loan on? Is that easy? I truly don't know.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 8:48:19 GMT -5
1. Can you borrow from your parents? 2. What about those peer to peer loans places? Anyone know anything about those? 3. What's the rough timeline on your ex refinancing the house? I tend to agree with Peace - don't borrow to pay off the CC, just get enough to get into the aprt. 1. my mom has already done enough for me, and after bankrolling her sister's life for a few years she's finally back on her feet. She already offered to help and I declined. My mom's family would love to help, but she's probably the most financially stable one of the bunch. Dad isn't remotely close to an option. 2. peer to peer lending? 3. if I only take out enough for the deposit, what happens if there is an emergency? With a near maxed cc and no savings, what would I do? 4. the refi didn't work as he planned. He wanted his parents to co-sign if his salary/credit wasn't sufficient and both were declined. He says he's working with the bank to just get himself approved but will have to sell if he can't. So however long that takes. Can't take that long, especially if I'm not helping him pay any bills. If he can't refi, he will be forced to sell and quickly.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 11, 2015 8:50:02 GMT -5
I feel like most of these "refinance" car loans are offered only if you already have a car loan with said bank and are looking to lower the rate. Can you refinance a car you already own and don't have a loan on? Is that easy? I truly don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe if she goes in and talks to a rep they can work something out. Especially if she's been a member in good standing for a while.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 8:54:10 GMT -5
How much do you think you will be getting from the equity? I'd probably just open another card for emergencies and borrow the bare minimum to get into the apartment. Is there anything you can sell?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 8:56:17 GMT -5
I sooooooooo don't want to go this route but I think I need to at this point. A lot of you know my situation, but I'll try and shorthand it for those that don't: X and I finalized the divorce agreement in Feb, but we've been living apart since last July. We've been racking up bills due to this (hotels/AirBnB, food, etc). He's been dragging out the house sale/transfer this entire time (I want it sold, he wants to keep it). Now he's decided he wants to keep it & get me off it - great. I found myself an apartment 15-20 mins from him in a slightly cheaper area - we agreed that I would stop paying the mortgage and house bills when I move in. I have to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent basically within 2 weeks of each other (security dep in NJ is typically 1.5 months rent), plus I need some furnishings and things to make it at least semi-homey for DS's sake. My CC has been hovering around its limit for several months, and I have no savings. While I wait for my cut of the equity/house sale proceeds, I need some money to get me the security deposit, pay off my CC, and give me a small cushion in case of an emergency. I'm looking at $10,000 max ($3125 for security dep + first month's rent, $3950 for the cc, $1500 in savings, and use the rest to help to repay the loan). Once I get the house money, I will use that to pay off what remains of the loan. FYI, my car is paid for. What advice can you give me on trying to get a good rate or which lender is decent? MJ - I have alarm bells going off here. You say your divorce is agreeable, but you Ex is dragging his feet on the house. What's to keep him from dragging them even more once you are moved out entirely? Not the question you asked, but I wouldn't move out until that equity check is in my hand. Is there a time limit - how is the equity determined? Also, why are you picking up all the extra living expenses - he should split them since he hasn't given you the equity yet. In other words - is there a written agreement that if you don't have X cash in your hand by X date the house goes on the market?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 9:02:17 GMT -5
we have been "sharing" the house - keeping DS there while we come and go. X stays at his parents', and since I have no family in the area I've been using hotels and AirBnB. I was staying with a colleague for a few months, but her mom had an emergency needed to stay with her. my mom has a lot of stuff in storage, so I'll definitely hit that up before buying anything. I will need a youth bed for DS for sure, and I do need to make it homey. This will be a big deal to DS and he doesn't need to go from a fully furnished home to a mattress on the floor and nothing else. Craigslist/garage sales/flea markets/Ikea will be my best friends. Are you not taking any of the home furnishings? Shouldn't that stuff get divided? we're taking the stuff that we brought, so I'll take: couches coffee table guest mattress and boxspring (full) dresser night stand 1 standing lamp corner computer desk there's more but these are the things I'd take and use at my new place. The stuff that was bought with mutual money will have to be discussed further, as I will need to take some things and am willing to leave others.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 9:07:26 GMT -5
I sooooooooo don't want to go this route but I think I need to at this point. A lot of you know my situation, but I'll try and shorthand it for those that don't: X and I finalized the divorce agreement in Feb, but we've been living apart since last July. We've been racking up bills due to this (hotels/AirBnB, food, etc). He's been dragging out the house sale/transfer this entire time (I want it sold, he wants to keep it). Now he's decided he wants to keep it & get me off it - great. I found myself an apartment 15-20 mins from him in a slightly cheaper area - we agreed that I would stop paying the mortgage and house bills when I move in. I have to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent basically within 2 weeks of each other (security dep in NJ is typically 1.5 months rent), plus I need some furnishings and things to make it at least semi-homey for DS's sake. My CC has been hovering around its limit for several months, and I have no savings. While I wait for my cut of the equity/house sale proceeds, I need some money to get me the security deposit, pay off my CC, and give me a small cushion in case of an emergency. I'm looking at $10,000 max ($3125 for security dep + first month's rent, $3950 for the cc, $1500 in savings, and use the rest to help to repay the loan). Once I get the house money, I will use that to pay off what remains of the loan. FYI, my car is paid for. What advice can you give me on trying to get a good rate or which lender is decent? MJ - I have alarm bells going off here. You say your divorce is agreeable, but you Ex is dragging his feet on the house. What's to keep him from dragging them even more once you are moved out entirely? Not the question you asked, but I wouldn't move out until that equity check is in my hand. Is there a time limit - how is the equity determined? Also, why are you picking up all the extra living expenses - he should split them since he hasn't given you the equity yet. In other words - is there a written agreement that if you don't have X cash in your hand by X date the house goes on the market? He won't be able to pay for the house on his own - I guess that's why I can't see him dragging his feet any further. Yes, we've been splitting the costs of me staying places. I would love to have the check in hand, but it's been over a year. The stress of living out of a suitcase part time is starting to take its toll on me. I can't eat as healthy as I don't always have access to a fridge/stove and trying to make hotel/room accomodations weekly is stressful as well. It's tourist season, plus I live close to the state college so summer has been pretty expensive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 9:13:51 GMT -5
MJ - I have alarm bells going off here. You say your divorce is agreeable, but you Ex is dragging his feet on the house. What's to keep him from dragging them even more once you are moved out entirely? Not the question you asked, but I wouldn't move out until that equity check is in my hand. Is there a time limit - how is the equity determined? Also, why are you picking up all the extra living expenses - he should split them since he hasn't given you the equity yet. In other words - is there a written agreement that if you don't have X cash in your hand by X date the house goes on the market? He won't be able to pay for the house on his own - I guess that's why I can't see him dragging his feet any further. Yes, we've been splitting the costs of me staying places. I would love to have the check in hand, but it's been over a year. The stress of living out of a suitcase part time is starting to take its toll on me. I can't eat as healthy as I don't always have access to a fridge/stove and trying to make hotel/room accomodations weekly is stressful as well. It's tourist season, plus I live close to the state college so summer has been pretty expensive. Is your name on the house too? What if he just quits paying? I'd be totally freaking about the house at this point!
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2015 9:21:37 GMT -5
MJ2.0 - I'm with minnesotapaintlady on this one. Not to say your ex is a bad person, but he doesn't sound like he's really got it together financially. Those are the types who tend to hold on too long and loose everything. You need to get your name off the title and mortgage and have some sort of written agreement as to what you equity is at this point in time and legally bind him to it. Otherwise he could stop paying and anything you have could be eaten up in missed payments and legal fees.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 9:28:06 GMT -5
Since he has family that he lives with, maybe you should stay in the house until it's sold and he keeps staying with the family rather than you racking up debt to live somewhere else.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 11, 2015 9:32:04 GMT -5
gotta hand it to YM - ask one question and get answers to another!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 11, 2015 9:34:56 GMT -5
Did you have a divorce lawyer? Do you mean that you've been paying to live in a hotel AND paying the mortgage on the house that he's living in? Yikes! Why would you agree to pay the house bills if you're not living there? If he wants the house, then HE needs to pay the bills. If he can't afford the bills today, how will he afford to pay them next month? I suggest that you don't pay one more dime towards a place that you don't live in. Don't worry about making the place homey. Start off with some mattresses on the floor, a few folding chairs and TV trays. You can add furniture later. Borrow what you NEED from a credit union. I was just thinking the same thing. I stayed in house till divorce was final then got an apartment for son and myself. EX stayed in house mainly because I didn't want to keep up 3,000 sq ft and acre lot. He footed all the expenses of the house. The house had to be SOLD and son and I would have had to move anyway so this was my decision. House sold 4 months later and proceeds split equally. As for cc and such, all that was covered when we drew up papers. All charges stopped on that day. minnesotapaintlady said: Me too!!! If my EX had decided he wanted to "buy" the house from me - it would have been cash up front and my name off the deed and mortage.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2015 9:42:32 GMT -5
gotta hand it to YM - ask one question and get answers to another! Well, you came asking what kind of band aids to get and we noticed the bone sticking out of your arm. Can't blame us for pointing it out.
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