justme
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Post by justme on Dec 18, 2018 15:11:09 GMT -5
When I was on a rant about my parents getting on me yet again about my messy place when I stopped my therapist looked at me and goes have you ever thought you were ADD? After I picked myself up from laughing so hard and said I've been saying that for over 15 years he was like the way you talk about cleaning is textbook symptom. I've thought you had it for a while, but it doesn't seem to really hamper you in most ways besides that.
I haven't tried meds though. I've debated asking if it's something I could just take when I need to clean or something.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 18, 2018 15:13:41 GMT -5
When I was on a rant about my parents getting on me yet again about my messy place when I stopped my therapist looked at me and goes have you ever thought you were ADD? After I picked myself up from laughing so hard and said I've been saying that for over 15 years he was like the way you talk about cleaning is textbook symptom. I've thought you had it for a while, but it doesn't seem to really hamper you in most ways besides that. I haven't tried meds though. I've debated asking if it's something I could just take when I need to clean or something. I don't see why not. If DS can take it for school only and take long breaks (like summers and junk) I see no issue with a take it as you need it approach for an adult who can generally function well.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 18, 2018 15:16:49 GMT -5
After my experience with anti anxiety meds I'm hesitant to try anything else. I appear to be one of those lucky people who get the "rare" side effects.
When I told DH what the psych said DH pointed out he's been saying that for years now.
I do a pretty good job of compensating but it's not perfect.
This job has really good checks and balances so that should help compared to my boss asking for my lab notebook once or twice in three years.
I do better if I know my work will be checked the same day. If it's never checked my brain wanders off to the next task.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 18, 2018 15:45:35 GMT -5
My psychiatrist asked if I'd ever been diagnosed. He admitted though it's slanted towards boys which may be why when I have taken tests it says I'm not. I'm also dyslexic. Took me years to figure that out they stopped testing in schools and I don't present typical symptoms. My struggle is with numbers. I flip them which is why I suck so bad at math. Excel can be a problem too because I'll either skip or flip cells. DH figured it out when he tried to help me with homework in college. Not a single teacher or professor in my life caught it. Now that I know I can correct for it. I have a cousin with that. There's a real name for it, that I can't remember offhand.
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on Dec 18, 2018 15:46:58 GMT -5
My psychiatrist asked if I'd ever been diagnosed. He admitted though it's slanted towards boys which may be why when I have taken tests it says I'm not. I'm also dyslexic. Took me years to figure that out they stopped testing in schools and I don't present typical symptoms. My struggle is with numbers. I flip them which is why I suck so bad at math. Excel can be a problem too because I'll either skip or flip cells. DH figured it out when he tried to help me with homework in college. Not a single teacher or professor in my life caught it. Now that I know I can correct for it. I have a cousin with that. There's a real name for it, that I can't remember offhand. Dyscalcula, I think. Not sure of the spelling. It’s one of DH’s issues.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 18, 2018 15:55:02 GMT -5
I didn't know it had a name. I recall reading it's a rarer form of dyslexia.
How many people actually have it is unknown because it's not included in standard testing which is based on reading skills.
Which people who have this tend to score above average. They also tend to be good at science.
Go figure when science involves numbers. Probably explains why I suck at physics and struggle at times with chemistry.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 18, 2018 21:23:43 GMT -5
Curious if you could elaborate on this more or point me to an article please. Not me, but here's my favorite ADHD author's website. I know he talks about this in his books www.drhallowell.com/Holy shit - I have adult ADHD. I suspected but now I have some possible evidence. There are 21 criteria and I recognize 16-17 of them in myself. Well DS is just screwed from both parental sides then!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 18, 2018 21:28:30 GMT -5
Curious if you could elaborate on this more or point me to an article please. If you google, a ton of material shows up. www.webmd.com/add-adhd/features/adhd-in-women#1www.verywellmind.com/adhd-in-girls-symptoms-of-adhd-in-girls-20547www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-in-women/This one is a good article www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/adhd-is-different-for-women/381158/ quotes below The last part is very true for me. Being smart masked all my symptoms - or at least made it so they weren't perceived as a problem. Teacher's couldn't say much if I talked a lot in class, because I only did it after I finished my work. When I was distracted and they called me out on it I could still usually answer the question they asked to prove I wasn't paying attention (thus they often stopped so they wouldn't be proved wrong). I've always had a HUGE problem with being able to clean and keep things clean but my parents to this day just think it's me being lazy and it's become a not-so-nice family joke even after I've pointed out it's my biggest detriment of my ADD. I'd often forget about school work - but wasn't much of an issue because I could knock it out in 10 minutes before it's due. Lists are almost useless to me. Etc etc.
yup - more evidence. And now that I'm unemployed I have even less structure, so even less is getting done and I'm feeling even more overwhelmed/exhausted.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 18, 2018 22:07:36 GMT -5
Yup, I suspected myself before, but these articles make it seem much more definitive.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 18, 2018 22:21:58 GMT -5
ADD for everyone!!!!
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Dec 18, 2018 22:54:29 GMT -5
I go back and forth between thinking it's that and thinking I had it easy so I just never developed those skills to concentrate. The lack of study skills didn't help in college. Having to sit and do CPA exam prep was akin to torture for me.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 18, 2018 23:26:53 GMT -5
I go back and forth between thinking it's that and thinking I had it easy so I just never developed those skills to concentrate. The lack of study skills didn't help in college. Having to sit and do CPA exam prep was akin to torture for me. Well, it does matter how many of the symptoms you have to actually get diagnosed. I think there are some sites that have more comprehensive lists. And probably some is learned or not learned vs actual add.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Dec 19, 2018 7:41:42 GMT -5
I checked out the adult symptom list. It is now clear that I do not have ADD... I am just lazy and disorganized .
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 19, 2018 8:09:19 GMT -5
I checked out the adult symptom list. It is now clear that I do not have ADD... I am just lazy and disorganized . Me too
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2018 8:26:19 GMT -5
I can check almost all the boxes on that list, but I still don't think I have ADHD. Mainly because it hasn't been consistent through my life. These last couple years have been BAD. I'm just all over the place. My house is a disaster and seriously, I'm afraid I could end up losing my job over this, but it's like I don't give a shit enough to do anything about it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 19, 2018 8:31:57 GMT -5
I go back and forth between thinking it's that and thinking I had it easy so I just never developed those skills to concentrate. The lack of study skills didn't help in college. Having to sit and do CPA exam prep was akin to torture for me. It's a combo of both for me. I had it easy in K thru 12 so never studied and that but me in the butt later. However reading the list especially the parts about it negatively affecting work performance rings a major bell. It explains a lot because I know I am not lazy or a bad employee. Yet I do stupid shit your average person doesn't.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Dec 19, 2018 9:20:40 GMT -5
I can check almost all the boxes on that list, but I still don't think I have ADHD. Mainly because it hasn't been consistent through my life. These last couple years have been BAD. I'm just all over the place. My house is a disaster and seriously, I'm afraid I could end up losing my job over this, but it's like I don't give a shit enough to do anything about it. I'm not trying to be funny or make a joke about this situation. Are you going through menopause? I've read that during the worst stages of menopause it can really mess with your emotional state and ability to function.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2018 9:30:25 GMT -5
I can check almost all the boxes on that list, but I still don't think I have ADHD. Mainly because it hasn't been consistent through my life. These last couple years have been BAD. I'm just all over the place. My house is a disaster and seriously, I'm afraid I could end up losing my job over this, but it's like I don't give a shit enough to do anything about it. I'm not trying to be funny or make a joke about this situation. Are you going through menopause? I've read that during the worst stages of menopause it can really mess with your emotional state and ability to function. I think probably. I had Mirena removed a few years ago because I was freaking out that it was making my hair fall out after reading online that other people had that problem, but maybe that was menopause too? Anyhow, my periods never really started up again after that and I was regular as clockwork before. I still get them, but they're very sporadic and only last a day maybe.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Dec 19, 2018 9:37:41 GMT -5
It might be something to discuss with your gynecologist, especially if you're increasingly finding it difficult to function.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2018 10:28:31 GMT -5
Hmmmm....guess I need to go back. After I started seeing a doc in internal medicine a year or so ago because I thought my thyroid was whacked he began refilling the migraine scripts for me so I stopped going to Women's Health. The only reason I was going there was they would refuse to refill my meds unless my pap was up to date.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Dec 19, 2018 10:33:37 GMT -5
Well... your pap should probably be up to date anyway .
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 19, 2018 11:30:55 GMT -5
Not me, but here's my favorite ADHD author's website. I know he talks about this in his books www.drhallowell.com/Holy shit - I have adult ADHD. I suspected but now I have some possible evidence. There are 21 criteria and I recognize 16-17 of them in myself. Well DS is just screwed from both parental sides then! Congrats? One of his books has something like 100 questions about symptoms in it. I swear, I saw so much of me in there. Never bothered going further though since I've got decent coping skills at this point. (sort of, kind of, most days)
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 19, 2018 11:59:01 GMT -5
Sigh. DD#2 likes a boy. I’m meeting him tomorrow at a Speech & Debate meet. And...? Yeah - what they asked!!! Well, he's a nerd, but so's DD. He did a good job introducing himself the first time we met. At a Congress last week, he brought DD dinner as his school wasn't participating but he lived ten miles away. He's a good student.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Dec 19, 2018 11:59:47 GMT -5
H has all kinds of issues. I'm pretty sure I am autistic or at least on the spectrum. Our kids are in for the lottery for therapy later
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 19, 2018 12:00:46 GMT -5
so i just found out I have uterine fibroid tumors and cysts on my right ovary. They're annoying, but not painful. Anyone ever had them, and what was the treatment? My former SIL had/has cysts on her ovaries, but they were discovered in her early 20s. She was never able to conceive. I'm pretty sure you weren't planning on having any more kids...
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Dec 19, 2018 12:05:42 GMT -5
I'm not trying to be funny or make a joke about this situation. Are you going through menopause? I've read that during the worst stages of menopause it can really mess with your emotional state and ability to function. I think probably. I had Mirena removed a few years ago because I was freaking out that it was making my hair fall out after reading online that other people had that problem, but maybe that was menopause too? Anyhow, my periods never really started up again after that and I was regular as clockwork before. I still get them, but they're very sporadic and only last a day maybe. The hormone shifts of menopause could be tipping you into depression too which can make it difficult to care. It may not be depression that's severe enough to medicate but that doesn't mean it's not there.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 19, 2018 12:06:58 GMT -5
My DH quit his job in March because he hated it, and I told him it was okay with the understanding that he would get something else, anything else. I don't care if it is a part time, low paying retail job stocking shelves. I just want him doing something. Fast forward to December and he is still not working. I have given him job lead after job lead since it is MY JOB to find people job leads that are on UI, and there is always something wrong with the job. He wants a unicorn job. Well who doesn't! I am thinking about telling him that if he doesn't have a different job by the end of March (so 1 year after he quit), then he needs to go back, at least for awhile. Is that unreasonable? This has been stressful for me. We have been lucky I have been able to cover all our monthly bills and had enough money for food and stuff. I find myself getting angrier and angrier with him, and I don't like feeling like that. I'm sure this has already been discussed, but I'm weeks behind on life. I cannot imagine treating my spouse the way your husband is treating you. Even to the point that in my first marriage when my XH made very little money, I went to work and to finish school when my babies were under age four even though it was against every fiber of my being to do so and my mother chastised me for ruining my children.
Plus, My (current)husband makes $150K/year. I could definitely stop working and "just" run our household. But, I don't think that's fair to him even though he'd be mostly okay with it.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 19, 2018 12:12:11 GMT -5
Carl - Carlie is such a cutie! What a fun age! Yesterday was a rough day. The older kids left in the morning to go to church with their mom. C lost it. He was so sad, big crocodile tears and everything. He just loves them so much and really struggles when they leave. It hit me that I want him to have a sibling (closer in age). We'd already pretty much decided against it, but I just felt so badly with him crying by the door. It's mainly just going to be him and his old mom and dad for his whole life, and it breaks my heart. DH doesn't want to try again. He would be 42 when a baby was born if I got pregnant today, and he feels like he's too old. He also has 5 kids. I can't really blame him. He told me yesterday he didn't know if he could handle watching me do IVF and having it nor work again. So there's that. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Tell me C will be okay basically being an only child? Hugs. I understand how you feel. I wanted more babies with DH (we each have two from our first marriages) but due to age and medical issues, it ended up not happening. Regarding only children--C will absolutely be okay. He actually gets the best of both worlds!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 19, 2018 12:18:05 GMT -5
Yep. I talked about that with my therapist. I can be quiet, resent the hell out of him and still have to deal with it. Or I can use my words, resent the hell out of him and not have to deal with whatever I asked him to do. Some days I'm better than others. Some days he's better than others. I should probably just make dh a list of household chores I expect done each week. More would get done, and even if/when it didn't there's a very specific thing to refer back to when I'm frustrated. But it's still a complete abdication of responsibility and leaving it for me that is the problem. I don't know how dh would live without me. It could be in squalor for all I know. At which point at least I'd know he truly isn't capable of anything more. But honestly what I see is Eric in That 70's Show, shrugging his shoulders and saying, "I guess I'm just bad at it"... which the daily or weekly list just enforces. I mean its not like there aren't already multiple lists posted about what chores to do and when. I just haven't assigned them to him. I had the therapist when I was maybe 20, maybe younger even, that told me not to nag dh about housework. If it was important to me, I should just do it myself. So I take everything in therapy with a big grain of salt. They still have their own personal issues they are bringing into the session. Here's the thing: I'm a Triple A personality. I started having babies at age 17, yet I still have a Master's degree and a career, etc. I am a complete and utter self-manager. I still struggle with the concept that not everyone functions the way I do. My BIL is basically a great guy. 30 years as a police officer; funny; great dad; great son; etc. He cannot for the life of him do anything on his own. However, he was able to articulate that to his wife. She accepted it and she knows she just has to make him a list and he'll do what's on the list. She's a nurse practitioner, and she would prefer to not have to make him lists. However, this is how their marriage works. Now, if he didn't do what was on the list, that would be a not good situation.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 19, 2018 12:37:25 GMT -5
I should probably just make dh a list of household chores I expect done each week. More would get done, and even if/when it didn't there's a very specific thing to refer back to when I'm frustrated. But it's still a complete abdication of responsibility and leaving it for me that is the problem. I don't know how dh would live without me. It could be in squalor for all I know. At which point at least I'd know he truly isn't capable of anything more. But honestly what I see is Eric in That 70's Show, shrugging his shoulders and saying, "I guess I'm just bad at it"... which the daily or weekly list just enforces. I mean its not like there aren't already multiple lists posted about what chores to do and when. I just haven't assigned them to him. I had the therapist when I was maybe 20, maybe younger even, that told me not to nag dh about housework. If it was important to me, I should just do it myself. So I take everything in therapy with a big grain of salt. They still have their own personal issues they are bringing into the session. Here's the thing: I'm a Triple A personality. I started having babies at age 17, yet I still have a Master's degree and a career, etc. I am a complete and utter self-manager. I still struggle with the concept that not everyone functions the way I do. My BIL is basically a great guy. 30 years as a police officer; funny; great dad; great son; etc. He cannot for the life of him do anything on his own. However, he was able to articulate that to his wife. She accepted it and she knows she just has to make him a list and he'll do what's on the list. She's a nurse practitioner, and she would prefer to not have to make him lists. However, this is how their marriage works. Now, if he didn't do what was on the list, that would be a not good situation. That's what I was getting at earlier. I don't know if I believe all women are on top of all domestic stuff and men are completely clueless - I really think it's more of how people function differently from one another. That plus upbringing and/or mental/emotional issues would account for how some people are totally "with it" all the time and others struggle to keep up. X was the budget and money manager in the relationship - I just nodded and smiled and gave him whatever was my share for the bills each month. He had all that stuff totally logged and organized, while I have random crumpled receipts coming out of everywhere (unless they were thrown out). I was the "cleaner" person but I was still very disorganized in general. Still am. I want a clean bathroom but don't ask me where X document from 5 years ago is... hell, from 5 days ago is! I struggle HARD to self-manage. Very hard. And I don't do it well most of the time.
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