The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[oped]

So assumptions all around seem like a bad idea... even if you feel you are well informed on a subject.

[Lizard Queen]

Nov 29, 2018 20:20:05 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Nov 29, 2018 13:18:15 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I didn't know about sundowner's until my nurse friend brought it up.  I guess I'm just an idiot.

Don't feel bad: I never heard of the term either and I am much older than you are (LOL _). However, I read it, I google it and now I know.  This happens a lot to me → hear something new (or it catches my attention for the first time) and I look it up. No shame in not knowing something. But there should be at least some shame atached to refusing to educate yourself...

I first heard of Alzheimer's, and decades later, dementia, but how the hell am I supposed to know to look for some new specific term for a newly determined version of it without ever having heard that term?

[NastyWoman]

Nov 29, 2018 20:56:55 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Nov 29, 2018 20:20:05 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Don't feel bad: I never heard of the term either and I am much older than you are (LOL _). However, I read it, I google it and now I know.  This happens a lot to me → hear something new (or it catches my attention for the first time) and I look it up. No shame in not knowing something. But there should be at least some shame atached to refusing to educate yourself...

I first heard of Alzheimer's, and decades later, dementia, but how the hell am I supposed to know to look for some new specific term for a newly determined version of it without ever having heard that term?

you don't → nor do I. I just don't like it when I have no clue what people are talking about. And google really is my friend (and has been almost (?) since its inception)

[Pants]

im sorry, I really wasn't trying to be shitty. Let me repeat: I think it's just me. I seem to remember medical stuff I have no reason to know. I assume others also do this but it is semi-frequently brought home to me that that is not the case. Like today, for example. 

I have no no idea why I know about sundowning, or rickets, or different types of diabetes, or sickle cell anemia. I assume I saw something on TV, or in a movie, or read an article in which it was mentioned and it just stuck with me. Because I have no real reason to know these things, I feel like I just absorbed them from the culture and feel taken aback sometimes when others don't. 

But then it's brought home to me, yet again, that I'm just a fucking weirdo, so that's fine. 

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 29, 2018 21:31:46 GMT -5 Pants said:

im sorry, I really wasn't trying to be shitty. Let me repeat: I think it's just me. I seem to remember medical stuff I have no reason to know. I assume others also do this but it is semi-frequently brought home to me that that is not the case. Like today, for example. 

I have no no idea why I know about sundowning, or rickets, or different types of diabetes, or sickle cell anemia. I assume I saw something on TV, or in a movie, or read an article in which it was mentioned and it just stuck with me. Because I have no real reason to know these things, I feel like I just absorbed them from the culture and feel taken aback sometimes when others don't. 

But then it's brought home to me, yet again, that I'm just a fucking weirdo, so that's fine. 

We can be weirdos together. My reason for knowing a lot of these things? I read. Plain and simple. I read a lot and I read anything that's in front of me. I know more about neurology than I really want to. Although I do need to know about dementia and MS.

[oped]

I read a lot. I also consume a lot of media. So yeah I tend to know a bit about a lot of things. Sometimes it also surprises me when others don’t know things. But there is so much to know. I’m not sure at what point it signals something detrimental.

Some of it goes back to what is family normal too. I was picking a story for the little girl I tutor and I to listen to the other day and I remembered how much the kids loved The Gitaffe the Pelly and Me at that age. But as soon as I turned it on I realized she wasn’t going to be able to do the British English. She had just never in her life heard anything read that way. I forgot that isn’t everyone’s normal. Not to mention I routinely run into vocab issues where I can’t remember if it’s just what most 8 year olds wouldn’t know? Of family specific tendencies?

I’ve told the story a couple times now to people about how I was complaining to the bank lady that I knew the error was my fault, and they usually leave one fee charge, but I also had to say I’m a very good customer and since we moved only inertia is keeping me at this bank... and she asked what inertia was... should that be something she should have known?

I don’t know. I want to say it doesn’t matter. There is so much to know. On the other hand, I want to blame lack of general education and understanding on our current political situation. I don’t know. I think I’ve lost my point now.

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 29, 2018 22:15:11 GMT -5 oped said:

I read a lot. I also consume a lot of media. So yeah I tend to know a bit about a lot of things. Sometimes it also surprises me when others don’t know things. But there is so much to know. I’m not sure at what point it signals something detrimental.

Some of it goes back to what is family normal too. I was picking a story for the little girl I tutor and I to listen to the other day and I remembered how much the kids loved The Gitaffe the Pelly and Me at that age. But as soon as I turned it on I realized she wasn’t going to be able to do the British English. She had just never in her life heard anything read that way. I forgot that isn’t everyone’s normal. Not to mention I routinely run into vocab issues where I can’t remember if it’s just what most 8 year olds wouldn’t know? Of family specific tendencies?

I’ve told the story a couple times now to people about how I was complaining to the bank lady that I knew the error was my fault, and they usually leave one fee charge, but I also had to say I’m a very good customer and since we moved only inertia is keeping me at this bank... and she asked what inertia was... should that be something she should have known?

I don’t know. I want to say it doesn’t matter. There is so much to know. On the other hand, I want to blame lack of general education and understanding on our current political situation. I don’t know. I think I’ve lost my point now.

I swear that was an SAT word about 25 years ago. And a science class word. Physics, Chemistry, whatever else there was for science. I don't know. I read a lot but I can't pass chemistry if it bit me in the ass. Too many formulas.

[Lizard Queen]

It's very possible that many of you first heard the term here--from me. I still don't see term around in media much, so no, I would not expect everyone and anyone to know about it. But it does remind me of some middle of the night phone calls from my mother going absolutely insane in the hospital. Several days prior, they had cold-turkeyed my mother off a 30 year-long regimen of lorazepam, plus however many years of Sertraline, and tried to explain it all away with Sundowners. Fun times... And I'm going WTF is sundowners? Had no idea about the meds at the time.

[Deleted]

I think we all assimilate things differently and our individual interests and life circumstances feed into that.  My 16 year old knows knows an insane amount about astronomy and astrophysics.  It's not like he's spending his spare time reading scientific journals or anything, usually he's just playing video games if his homework is done, but for some reason whatever info on that subject that's out there on that subject...if it comes into contact with his brain at all, it sticks and he understands it completely.  Part of the reason I get so frustrated with him not actually putting some effort into learning.     I do think he could be all kinds of awesome if he wasn't so lazy.  

[NastyWoman]

Nov 29, 2018 21:31:46 GMT -5 Pants said:

im sorry, I really wasn't trying to be shitty. Let me repeat: I think it's just me. I seem to remember medical stuff I have no reason to know. I assume others also do this but it is semi-frequently brought home to me that that is not the case. Like today, for example. 

I have no no idea why I know about sundowning, or rickets, or different types of diabetes, or sickle cell anemia. I assume I saw something on TV, or in a movie, or read an article in which it was mentioned and it just stuck with me. Because I have no real reason to know these things, I feel like I just absorbed them from the culture and feel taken aback sometimes when others don't. 

But then it's brought home to me, yet again, that I'm just a fucking weirdo, so that's fine. 

No, you're not a weirdo. II seem to remember the strangest things too. Just because I got lucky and have not had to deal with dementia/Alzheimer and haven't heard of sundowning , doesn't mean you are weird that you have and retained the information. 
Get you anything I won't forget this concept either. That's just the way my brain works and it looks like you're does too. 

[NastyWoman]

But you want to know something I consider strange about myself: I can talk chemistry in Dutch and Finance/accounting/contract management in English, but I don't have the words/ language skills to do it the other way around. You would think that would not be too hard to do since I do have the underlying knowledge, but I just can't

[Works4me]

Interesting - were those the languages you learned them in?

[Wisconsin Beth]

I just want to say I'm happy this cruddy month is almost over. The least stressful time was Thanksgiving weekend.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 30, 2018 1:29:58 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Interesting - were those the languages you learned them in?

Yes and also the only languages I used them in. But still...

[Lizard Queen]

"Diane Poulin-Dubois and her colleagues explained the fact that bilingual children have a smaller vocabulary in just one language in the following way: They are exposed to their languages in different environments and hence they may encounter specific items in a context where only one language is used. This decreases the number of words acquired in each language.



This explanation makes a lot of sense. In one of the very first posts I wrote for this blog, I stressed how important the functions of languages are in the life of bilinguals. They usually acquire and use their languages for different purposes, in different domains of life, with different people. Different aspects of life often require different languages. I have called this the complementarity principle (see here)."


www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-bilingual/201306/do-they-know-many-words

[oped]

Nov 30, 2018 10:29:28 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Nov 30, 2018 1:29:58 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Interesting - were those the languages you learned them in?

Yes and also the only languages I used them in. But still...

But everything. Specific vocabularies are not always (generally?) transferable. 

I was actually reading an interesting article on research and how controlled vocabulary development is not adequately evolving for information retrieval in the sciences in particular. 

See, I just read weird things  

[Cookies Galore]

Nov 29, 2018 21:31:46 GMT -5 Pants said:

im sorry, I really wasn't trying to be shitty. Let me repeat: I think it's just me. I seem to remember medical stuff I have no reason to know. I assume others also do this but it is semi-frequently brought home to me that that is not the case. Like today, for example. 

I have no no idea why I know about sundowning, or rickets, or different types of diabetes, or sickle cell anemia. I assume I saw something on TV, or in a movie, or read an article in which it was mentioned and it just stuck with me. Because I have no real reason to know these things, I feel like I just absorbed them from the culture and feel taken aback sometimes when others don't. 

But then it's brought home to me, yet again, that I'm just a fucking weirdo, so that's fine. 

Totes get it. I work in medical education so I have a broad knowledge of a shit-ton of medical stuff and it comes to me at random times. Like the other week when the local news ran a promo for a segment on a "little-known exercise-induced medical condition" and I was all "that's rhabdo, duh" and my husband looks at me strange.
And I think some people just absorb certain information better and/or differently. Hubs' dad had ALS so we pretty had to become experts in the disease. Somehow I'm the only one who actually retained the info.
I'm also a firm believer in not saying "I don't even know what that even is." We live in an era where people have smart phones on them at all times, Google that shit! I have no qualms about saying "I don't know what that is, tell me more." But just leaving it at "I don't know what that is" is lazy and incurious. So I'm a shitty person, too. 😀

[oped]

That’s why we have the google is a favorite phrase of mine.

I will say I don’t know if I don’t though, particularly if I have no desire to look it up or know. Too much to possibly know and some of it I couldn’t care less about

[andi9899]

Nov 28, 2018 18:54:07 GMT -5 gracendignity said:

What is up with the tantrums and the meltdown at this stage : ~22 months

It is like my daughter is a ball of emotions and any of them is ready to explode at any time.

She cries at the drop of a hat and for anything, something is not right she cries, you do exactly what she wants: she cries.

My 6-year-old granddaughter had a tantrum recently as we were trying to leave for an overnight trip because (as near as I could make out) she only had room for one stuffed animal in her backpack and she wanted to take two.  It ended with an unfortunate slip on a wood floor and cutting her head on the corner of her bed.  She bled like she had been bludgeoned with an iron pipe and she tearfully asked if she needed to go to the "demergency room and get my brains sewed back in."   .   (She didn't, thankfully.)  No one can have drama  like a girl!

My baby granddaughter is a couple of weeks younger than your little girl. She can throw a tantrum, too, but she carefully lies down first and THEN tosses her hissy fit. LOL!

When Thing 1 was little she threw a tantrum. She threw herself on the floor and started flailing and screaming. I calmly walked into another room. She got up and went into the room I was in and threw herself on the floor again. Rinse and repeat a few times until she just gave up. I don't remember what the tantrum was about, but it was rather amusing. I'm going to have to tell her about it the next time I see her.

[muttleynfelix]

As your kids get older, I think it is easier to figure out what is causing the tantrum. If they want to throw a fit for no reason or because they just aren't getting their way, they have to go to their rooms and settle down. Ben stopped throwing fits around 7 or so. Jocelyn still has occasional meltdowns but I know they are because she is tired or hungry plus she didn't get her way. I usually say I am sorry you are not getting to do x, y, or z (usually ice cream for a snack instead of a banana), but tonight your choice is that or you can go to your room. The more tired she is, the worse the fit is.

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 30, 2018 13:18:03 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Totes get it. I work in medical education so I have a broad knowledge of a shit-ton of medical stuff and it comes to me at random times. Like the other week when the local news ran a promo for a segment on a "little-known exercise-induced medical condition" and I was all "that's rhabdo, duh" and my husband looks at me strange.
And I think some people just absorb certain information better and/or differently. Hubs' dad had ALS so we pretty had to become experts in the disease. Somehow I'm the only one who actually retained the info.
I'm also a firm believer in not saying "I don't even know what that even is." We live in an era where people have smart phones on them at all times, Google that shit! I have no qualms about saying "I don't know what that is, tell me more." But just leaving it at "I don't know what that is" is lazy and incurious. So I'm a shitty person, too. 😀

I used to work in ambulance billing so I picked up a lot of medical terminology that way. Which is impressive when you think about it because EMTs have just as shitty handwriting as MDs. I was also a caregiver for my mother, who had COPD/emphysema and I would read her charts during her many many hospital visits. I just soak this stuff up. And, I learn new things every day just by hanging out here!

[Pants]

For the record, I was thinking about this yesterday and I'm pretty sure I know about the types of diabetes because of 1) The babysitters' club (#teamstacy) and 2) James Herriot (there was a diabetic dog who played cricket, football, rugby and other sports.) 

[MJ2.0]

Omg yes I completely forgot about Stacey from the BSC having Type 1! And I think it was a particularly serious condition for her.

Pants, no worries. I just think in general we shouldn’t jump to “everyone is an idiot because they don’t know X”. Although it would depend on how common knowledge X is and how relevant it is to their lives. Like if someone didn’t know that drinking alcohol while pregnant can be bad for the fetus or that smoking is heavily linked to many ailments including cancer, I’d give them the WTF eyes. I guess it’s like others said - it’s how we assimilate and absorb info. I know some random medical stuff too but I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt....I realize not everyone takes that stance though.

[Pants]

Nov 30, 2018 16:07:27 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Omg yes I completely forgot about Stacey from the BSC having Type 1! And I think it was a particularly serious condition for her.

Pants, no worries. I just think in general we shouldn’t jump to “everyone is an idiot because they don’t know X”. Although it would depend on how common knowledge X is and how relevant it is to their lives. Like if someone didn’t know that drinking alcohol while pregnant can be bad for the fetus or that smoking is heavily linked to many ailments including cancer, I’d give them the WTF eyes. I guess it’s like others said - it’s how we assimilate and absorb info. I know some random medical stuff too but I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt....I realize not everyone takes that stance though. [img src="http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png" alt="" class="smile" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png"]

THERE WAS THAT TIME SHE *RELAPSED ON THE TRAIN TO NEW YORK. SHE WAS THIRSTY AND HAD TO DRINK TRAIN WATER AND ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL. 

ETA: I know it's not "relapsing" but I don't remember what they called it. 

[raeoflyte]

They have the babysitters club books in graphic novels now that C really likes.  He was thrilled when he ran across Stacy.  I never read that series as a kid.  

[Deleted]

Ok, well besides being fuzzy on the sundowning thing, I have no freaking clue what the babysitters club is. 

[MJ2.0]

“Train water”? As in the dripping water from the train in the subway? I didn’t read them all. I do remember reading Snowbound - in that one Stacey and her mom were broken down in the car and she was having issues due to her blood sugar dropping.

[tcu2003]

Nov 30, 2018 16:40:43 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Ok, well besides being fuzzy on the sundowning thing, I have no freaking clue what the babysitters club is. 

They were only like the best series ever for girls born in the 80s! 😉

[Pants]

Nov 30, 2018 17:10:14 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

“Train water”? As in the dripping water from the train in the subway? I didn’t read them all. I do remember reading Snowbound - in that one Stacey and her mom were broken down in the car and she was having issues due to her blood sugar dropping.

No, a commuter train or maybe Amtrak from CT to NY. Her diabetes was raging out of control and she was thirsty and had to drink water from the train's bathroom sink with her hands. Why do I remember this 30 years later? UNCLEAR.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 30, 2018 13:47:04 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Nov 28, 2018 18:54:07 GMT -5 gracendignity said:

What is up with the tantrums and the meltdown at this stage : ~22 months

It is like my daughter is a ball of emotions and any of them is ready to explode at any time.

She cries at the drop of a hat and for anything, something is not right she cries, you do exactly what she wants: she cries.

My 6-year-old granddaughter had a tantrum recently as we were trying to leave for an overnight trip because (as near as I could make out) she only had room for one stuffed animal in her backpack and she wanted to take two.  It ended with an unfortunate slip on a wood floor and cutting her head on the corner of her bed.  She bled like she had been bludgeoned with an iron pipe and she tearfully asked if she needed to go to the "demergency room and get my brains sewed back in."   .   (She didn't, thankfully.)  No one can have drama  like a girl!

My baby granddaughter is a couple of weeks younger than your little girl. She can throw a tantrum, too, but she carefully lies down first and THEN tosses her hissy fit. LOL!

When Thing 1 was little she threw a tantrum. She threw herself on the floor and started flailing and screaming. I calmly walked into another room. She got up and went into the room I was in and threw herself on the floor again. Rinse and repeat a few times until she just gave up. I don't remember what the tantrum was about, but it was rather amusing. I'm going to have to tell her about it the next time I see her.

Oh no you don't. Wait until she has kids of her own