The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[countrygirl2]

Well he was learning to potty while I was there so I imagine that stopped. She told me it was bad the way she grew up.

She told me as a baby she was left by herself all day, when very little.  She told me about them coming home and finding she had eaten poop.  I know she had a hard time.  She has one sister who had a different father and is at least 10 maybe 15 years older not sure.  She also said her dad beat her mom, he has since they have been married.  And I think he beat her too.  

They had a 1 bedroom apartment, they still do.  She said before petroiska they were slated to get a 2 bedroom finally then her dad lost his job and sounds like it all went even worse.  It doesn't sound good.  She loves her mom and she sounds like a nice lady but has it rough.  DIL has wanted her to leave her dad but she won't so she said I have given up on that.  She said she will not let her mom take care of little guy, as she said he has beat her till she thinks it has effected her.  She said her mom has bald spots on her head where he has pulled her hair out.  I think this kind of stuff goes on over there.  It's hopelessness and I guess they drink to get through it.  I know I have no understanding so I am just saying what I think.  Welts knows much more then me.  But I know they would not even think of adopting a baby from there because the incidence of mom being an alcoholic and damaging the child.

She seem to be a loving mom but I think she is at a total loss of how to raise a child.  I think she thought he would just be  a perfect little kid that you could dress up and they just did what you wanted.  Again just me.

Well you can talk to her but after you have you find out she didn't understand some of what  you said. I thought she understood most of it, now I wonder, she seems to.  But she doesn't read well I guess. She has made some friends in the English class but they of course speak Russian, is that going to help? I don't know. She would ask me to explain and I would use a different word she would know so she understands.  I think son must do the same, she seems to understand him.  But realize she spent 15 years in Korea, trying to learn Korean and she reasonably understands quite a bit and can speak enough to shop and talk with the Korean store owner where she lives.  So here she was Russian, speaking some Korean, trying to learn English, but nowhere to learn except from soldiers and son who is not home all the time. and mainly seeking out Russian friends so mainly steeped in it.  

His first wife did better but that was because she was Korean and only had to learn English.  She was a very nice girl.  Son does not know and I never repeated to him but she told me why they were divorced, it was his fault.  And yes, I believed her, they were married 9 years and she and I got along great.  He was at Fort Hood for years and they would come down to the house some weekends and holidays, we had a great time.  A lot of her problem was her mom was pushing her to have kids and son didn't really want any, but he said did nothing to not have any.  If her mom had stayed out of it and left her alone it might have been different.  But that's ok, it happened and you move on. It was really odd, one time she called me, must have been a couple years after they divorced.  I had told her be very careful a lot of solders families and solders might not be so nice, when I had talked to her the last time.  She told me she remarried and was expecting.  And she was sorry and wanted to know if son was married, he was not then.  And made a comment that made me think she realized I was right.  I told son, he said he had worried about her a lot but not much he could do about it.  He thought it was odd she had called, me too.  Her husband made the call for her. I have wondered about that every so often.

I don't really understand how to get along with this young woman, the thing is I thought we were getting along great, so I was and am still totally shocked.  There was absolutely no inkling she was going to erupt in anger.  If she had merely said, look I don't want you doing this and this is why, no problem.  I thought she needed help and wanted it.  Now talk about a miscommunication.  But now I have no idea what to do or not.  Hubs said do nothing.  Well, I'm not lazy and that will make me feel funny.  She had hubs fixing anything and everything she could find to the point he was worn out, so what did we expect.  Oh well, enough for now.  I'm doing more important things.  I'm working on a puzzle and its fighting me bad!! If I get up and walk away and go back sometimes I can find a couple pieces, I'm half done with it.

[Pants]

Oct 27, 2018 21:51:00 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Well he was learning to potty while I was there so I imagine that stopped. She told me it was bad the way she grew up.

She told me as a baby she was left by herself all day, when very little.  She told me about them coming home and finding she had eaten poop.  I know she had a hard time.  She has one sister who had a different father and is at least 10 maybe 15 years older not sure.  She also said her dad beat her mom, he has since they have been married.  And I think he beat her too.  

They had a 1 bedroom apartment, they still do.  She said before petroiska they were slated to get a 2 bedroom finally then her dad lost his job and sounds like it all went even worse.  It doesn't sound good.  She loves her mom and she sounds like a nice lady but has it rough.  DIL has wanted her to leave her dad but she won't so she said I have given up on that.  She said she will not let her mom take care of little guy, as she said he has beat her till she thinks it has effected her.  She said her mom has bald spots on her head where he has pulled her hair out.  I think this kind of stuff goes on over there.  It's hopelessness and I guess they drink to get through it.  I know I have no understanding so I am just saying what I think.  Welts knows much more then me.  But I know they would not even think of adopting a baby from there because the incidence of mom being an alcoholic and damaging the child.

She seem to be a loving mom but I think she is at a total loss of how to raise a child.  I think she thought he would just be  a perfect little kid that you could dress up and they just did what you wanted.  Again just me.

Well you can talk to her but after you have you find out she didn't understand some of what  you said. I thought she understood most of it, now I wonder, she seems to.  But she doesn't read well I guess. She has made some friends in the English class but they of course speak Russian, is that going to help? I don't know. She would ask me to explain and I would use a different word she would know so she understands.  I think son must do the same, she seems to understand him.  But realize she spent 15 years in Korea, trying to learn Korean and she reasonably understands quite a bit and can speak enough to shop and talk with the Korean store owner where she lives.  So here she was Russian, speaking some Korean, trying to learn English, but nowhere to learn except from soldiers and son who is not home all the time. and mainly seeking out Russian friends so mainly steeped in it.  

His first wife did better but that was because she was Korean and only had to learn English.  She was a very nice girl.  Son does not know and I never repeated to him but she told me why they were divorced, it was his fault.  And yes, I believed her, they were married 9 years and she and I got along great.  He was at Fort Hood for years and they would come down to the house some weekends and holidays, we had a great time.  A lot of her problem was her mom was pushing her to have kids and son didn't really want any, but he said did nothing to not have any.  If her mom had stayed out of it and left her alone it might have been different.  But that's ok, it happened and you move on. It was really odd, one time she called me, must have been a couple years after they divorced.  I had told her be very careful a lot of solders families and solders might not be so nice, when I had talked to her the last time.  She told me she remarried and was expecting.  And she was sorry and wanted to know if son was married, he was not then.  And made a comment that made me think she realized I was right.  I told son, he said he had worried about her a lot but not much he could do about it.  He thought it was odd she had called, me too.  Her husband made the call for her. I have wondered about that every so often.

I don't really understand how to get along with this young woman, the thing is I thought we were getting along great, so I was and am still totally shocked.  There was absolutely no inkling she was going to erupt in anger.  If she had merely said, look I don't want you doing this and this is why, no problem.  I thought she needed help and wanted it.  Now talk about a miscommunication.  But now I have no idea what to do or not.  Hubs said do nothing.  Well, I'm not lazy and that will make me feel funny.  She had hubs fixing anything and everything she could find to the point he was worn out, so what did we expect.  Oh well, enough for now.  I'm doing more important things.  I'm working on a puzzle and its fighting me bad!! If I get up and walk away and go back sometimes I can find a couple pieces, I'm half done with it.

Pat, I think there are a ton of different issues here. But with what you have shared, it is absolutely not surprising that your DIL is a wreck. It sounds like her childhood was profoundly traumatic. The fact that she does not hit her son, with that as her background, is a testament to her character, not a failure.

She's an army wife in a third culture and language, she had parental role models who were AT BEST neglectful, and honestly it doesn't sound like she's doing so well emotionally, which likely explains a lot of the push and pull with you. There are generational issues, cultural issues, a history of trauma... The list goes on. Given all of this it's not surprising that your grandson is having problems as well.

I'm very sorry for her, and I'm sorry for you in what seems like a bewildering situation. I'm just so sorry for everyone here.

I would suggest that your son and his wife BOTH need some parenting classes. But I have no idea how you would go about suggesting that. I'm so sorry.

[zibazinski]

Pat, I’m assuming you’re staying in a hotel when you go up to visit. If not please do so. Then you go and get grandson when it’s convenient. Do not go into her house for any reason. Neutral territory only. Restaurants or your hotel . Be civil but do nothing for either of them. You’re there to see grandson and that’s it. That way even your son isn’t caught in the middle.

[countrygirl2]

Well, hubs said we would, so that made me happy.  Son is saying you don't need to do that there is plenty of room here.  I'm getting caught in between everyone.  Hubs said he just needs to talk to son and get this all worked out.  DIL is the one insisting we come up. They initially were coming down here for Thanksgiving.  Then son thought he was getting deployed, that is still not definite, they told him they are 90% sure he isn't.  The issue is the person going is 68, he wants to go, they are concerned if he gets ill over there they don't have facilities say for a person having a heart attack or any medical treatment for ails of basically old age.  But son said the guy is passing the physicals.  Isn't that something, wanting people to work to 70 but not wanting them, son will find himself in that situation some day, wonder if he has thought of that. Hubs had issues at last, many 3rd world countries would not let anyone come in after age  60 or 65 and work, so he started running up against that.  They likely would still have him working.  Son has passed his physicals with flying colors so far, but they want to look at his eyes.  He has some issue with one periodically, did when he was here so glad they are checking. So he still doesn't know positively.  

Son is on an exercise and then the possibility of him still leaving, he will be off on Thanksgiving but on call, said he can't really leave, same with weekends, he is off but has to be available during these exercises. He said its a mess, he said I have tons of leave time and can't even take it.  I don't want to stress him out, I think he gets enough stress as it is.  I think we should pass all this and see if Christmas might work with them coming down. Maybe I will end up with foot surgery and we won't have to worry about any of it in December at least!  And Monday will find out if I have any pancreas issues.  

I will end up having to cook a thanksgiving dinner for hubs mom and aunt and then either going now or sometime and I just want to stay home and forget it right now.  I think everyone is to stressed to do anything. This is hubs pushing us going, afraid son will leave to go there and he won't see him before he goes.  We missed our son terribly all these years.

I never thought I would be in the middle of a family drama, just wow.  I'm like all this is just crazy.  I want to forget the holidays this year and just stay home.  I'm tired.

Ok, I need to eat what I want before bed.  Tomorrow cannot eat anything but broth, ginger ale, and tea.  So I'm going to be starving, we have to be there Monday morning at 7:30, so need to get up about 6:30.  Hope my hypoglycemia doesn't flair up, if it does I have to eat something.  The glucose pills I have are grape and fruit punch and I'm to have no red, purple, or blue things to eat and no milk. Hopefully the chicken broth will help me to not have a problem.

[countrygirl2]

zib, I agree with you but doubt that is feasible.  Son says oh you are making something out of nothing, he says I'm just overreacting.  Oh my.

[Works4me]

What about taking your RV? Maybe tell son that you, hubs and dau need a break from the activity of a young family? An escape so to speak? Maybe even explain that you want to stay in a hotel so you can all keep on getting along and that it will be a nice break for you.

[zibazinski]

Pat, you're an adult and if you say you're staying in a hotel when you visit, that's it. Discussion is over. That way you're not cleaning or cooking anything. As far as thanksgiving dinner, eat out. You don't have to get caught up in the drama unless you want to. Stay out of her house, her mess, and her problems. See your grandson on your turf without his mother who you can't stand. No reason to deal with her except for thanksgiving day and if you're on neutral ground like a restaurant, it'll be easier. Do not cook or clean or even enter her house. If son wants to see you, he knows where you're staying. Don't even get into why you're doing it this way, he already knows and can do nothing about it or chooses to do nothing about it. You're only in the middle if you want to be. 

[oped]

Our first trip to Romania was, well, it wasn't tons of fun. We stayed with his mom, and then we had to 'spend the night' with everyone. Everyone wanted to host us. It was frankly horrible. After that we just said, no, sorry we are staying in a hotel. We will see you all every day, but we are going to our own space in the evening. It has been soooo much nicer every other time we have visited. We do go to their houses, but can always get some down time on our own, don't feel compelled to eat there, etc. 

On that note... i'm sure husband told them the first time that it was 'my fault' that i am accustomed to showers every day and so we would stay in the hotel.  This may have made them think i'm prissy but it was a non personal reason for all of us to accept. Do something similar. It isn't because of DIL you don't want to stay there... its because you wake up several times in the night and you feel much more comfortable in your own space knowing you don't have to worry about waking anyone else... or something like that. And then just stick to it... No, this is how i feel most comfortable (because of that non personal thing you decide on).  

[countrygirl2]

I know what I would do, but I am married to a stubborn man.  


I just feel bad that after what I wrote zibs thinks I can't stand my DIL.  My communications must be poor.  I am skittish and don't want that to happen again.  Since I'm not quite sure why it happened then I don't understand the cultural issues obviously.

We were thinking of taking a small freezer with this good meat from here as a  Christmas present dad and mom used to do things like that for us. I know she really likes good quality meat, but  I told hubs maybe we better not.  Maybe to her mom it will look like they can't feed themselves and it could be interpreted as insulting.  Son makes plenty of money, its just that this tastes as good as any I have bought in years. If we do it won't be when her mom is there.  Just can't figure out much of anything they need so thought that would be something different.

[zibazinski]

That’s why you need to stay in a hotel.  Bring a gift of meat if you want. If they’re insulted, they’re insulted. That’s on them. But stay out of their home if you value a good visit. You know what’ll happen if you stay in their home. If your husband wants to, then let him, but you stand your ground. 

[zibazinski]

Use your DD as an excuse if you feel you need to. I wouldn’t make an excuse, just say I’m coming and this is where we are staying. 

[zibazinski]

Oct 28, 2018 10:08:45 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I know what I would do, but I am married to a stubborn man.  


I just feel bad that after what I wrote zibs thinks I can't stand my DIL.  My communications must be poor.  I am skittish and don't want that to happen again.  Since I'm not quite sure why it happened then I don't understand the cultural issues obviously.

We were thinking of taking a small freezer with this good meat from here as a  Christmas present dad and mom used to do things like that for us. I know she really likes good quality meat, but  I told hubs maybe we better not.  Maybe to her mom it will look like they can't feed themselves and it could be interpreted as insulting.  Son makes plenty of money, its just that this tastes as good as any I have bought in years. If we do it won't be when her mom is there.  Just can't figure out much of anything they need so thought that would be something different.

That’s why you need to limit contact with her.

[geenamercile]

So I have took today off to run around and gets things done. New consular for Odd, turning in the homeschool paperwork to the school board office. Pick up a dog bed for the oldman. Drop off paperwork off at the doctors for Dh and I. Start DD on some school work and set up a schedule for her. Carve pumpkins. Oh and get ODD a white blouse for her little red ridding hood costume. Last year for her trick or treating. Ydd has soccer practice tonight too. Last week of that, last games this weekend it is a double header for her team. The Ils are coming up for it and staying in a hotel because next Sunday YDD wants to be baptised so that will be after the service she goes too. Personally I am not Christian but I support there choice to explore. Odd went for about year and decided it wasn't for her but YDD has been going for awhile with friends. I went a few times to make sure there wasn't anything I disagree with, but will support her in this.

[finnime]

Little Red Riding Hood sounds like a great costume.

This year for Halloween I bought at Costco boxes of full-size candy bars, with lollipops for the really young ones. Even though we get over 100 trick-or-treaters, it occurred to me this won't last forever. We're planning on moving in a couple of years, no doubt to a place less dense with families. I really enjoy seeing all the costumes. When I was younger it bothered me to see older teens out T-or-T'ing but now I figure, more power to them. They all will know they're too old soon enough. High school kids are kids, too.

[chen35]

Older kids trick or treating used to really bother DH as well. I told him I'd much rather have them going door to door asking for candy rather than being out drinking, egging homes, or worse. I agree with you, they'll be grown up soon enough, let them have this time to be young.

[tcu2003]

We have bags of pretzels and a variety of candy bars. Not sure how many ToTers we’ll get, but if not, we’ll eat what’s left.

Kiddos are a bald eagle (C) and a most adorable pink parrot (M). They wore their costumes on Friday for a Kiddie Parade in my hometown, last night for a trunk or treat, and then will wear on Wednesday for Halloween. Plus they love wearing them around the house, so they’ll get a ton of use out of them.

[oped]

I have different baskets for everyone and even adults get candy. Non-restrictive fun (sized candy bars )...  We have fruit gummies and grahams for the babies, regular old chocholate mixes and then i usually have some stuff like ring pops ... which i though the toddlers would like last year but honestly the teens and adults chose most of  

[chen35]

C is terrified of his costume. It's a turtle (his favorite animal) We finally got him to try the hat piece on yesterday. He left it on for about 10 second. So we'll see.

We went to an amusement park Saturday where they have a little trick or treat area for kids. They give out plastic crap, but C absolutely loves it. He played with nothing else yesterday. It was pretty cute.

I'm hoping to have time to make rolls and honey butter for the adults that come trick or treating. We do that and hot chocolate. It's so hard with Halloween on a Wednesday, but I'll do my best!

[steph08]

We did a Halloween parade and the school's Haunted Hallway and trick or treat on Saturday. We did a parade and trick or treating yesterday as well (there was a break in the rain! Yay!!). 

It's nice living in a rural area where every town has a parade and trick or treating.  

Harper was Peppa Pig Pirate and Chloe was a frog. They were quite adorable, if I do say so myself (they are on FB if we are friends on there). 

DH and I ate a lot of candy last night after both kids fell asleep by 7:30.  

[raeoflyte]

I survived our halloween party.  There were a few touch and go moments and we were still building the creeper 30 minutes before the party, but it was fun.  Glad I did it (although frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the lack of help I had in pulling it together).  I don't think the last guest had been gone for 5 minutes before C asked what next years theme would be.  

I have 1 picture of E in her costume (that a neighbor took and sent to me).  Will hopefully get one more picture of E with her friend from the dojo that his mom took, and that is all there are.  That has been my biggest regret of the parties is not having any pictures.  Next year I hope to get set up a photo booth area for the kids to use at least.  

I managed 1 "mural'd" wall in a minecraft theme, and then our foods were all from the game.  I realized (Saturday night) that the reason we can't do pizza for parties is because everyone we know is gluten or dairy free, and/or vegan.  So we switched to baked potatoes, rolls, apples, carrots, and melon to go with the theme.  We're doing a baked potato bar for my moms 70th birthday in a couple weeks and I gotta say that is my new favorite party meal.  So easy to do ahead of time, easy to have toppings that work for everyone.  The weather was gorgeous, and everyone ate outside.  My house is immaculate.  Odd, but definitely a good party.  

[raeoflyte]

Our elementary school supports something like 27 different home languages.  It seems like the family liason speaks all of them somehow, and most of the staff is fluent in at least spanish.  

Dh didn't know the difference between spanish or english going into kindergarten, but he figured it out very quickly.  

I'm struggling so much with picking my classes back up.  I was thinking this morning that I need something I'm excited about to jump back in and that spanish would be a good way to do that.    

[raeoflyte]

Oct 29, 2018 9:26:40 GMT -5 chen35 said:

C is terrified of his costume. It's a turtle (his favorite animal) We finally got him to try the hat piece on yesterday. He left it on for about 10 second. So we'll see.

We went to an amusement park Saturday where they have a little trick or treat area for kids. They give out plastic crap, but C absolutely loves it. He played with nothing else yesterday. It was pretty cute.

I'm hoping to have time to make rolls and honey butter for the adults that come trick or treating. We do that and hot chocolate. It's so hard with Halloween on a Wednesday, but I'll do my best!

That's cute about his costume.  Will be a fun story.  

And the trick or treating for adults sounds like the bomb!  I'm planning on carrying a backpack with a wine bottle and some plastic wine cups for any friends we meet up with along the way.  

[gs11rmb]

My 6 year old is a plush hummingbird:  www.target.com/p/toddler-plush-hummingbird-halloween-costume-4t-5t-hyde-and-eek-boutique-153/-/A-53318862?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&CPNG=PLA_Seasonal%2BShopping_Brand&adgroup=SC_Seasonal&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9060222&gclsrc=aw.ds&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1246978&ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Seasonal+Shopping_Brand&adgroup=SC_Seasonal&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9060222&gclid=CjwKCAjw39reBRBJEiwAO1m0OT8wUmNAuVosiIMuuG3EQquCS6A6599m1Q-r3SYK4IPVyifMBRZWgRoCKLsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

My 10 year old is Little Red Riding Hood (made out of nylon):  www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0762BVQTQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

One of my children will be appropriately dressed for the weather...

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 29, 2018 9:56:16 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I survived our halloween party.  There were a few touch and go moments and we were still building the creeper 30 minutes before the party, but it was fun.  Glad I did it (although frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the lack of help I had in pulling it together).  I don't think the last guest had been gone for 5 minutes before C asked what next years theme would be.  

I have 1 picture of E in her costume (that a neighbor took and sent to me).  Will hopefully get one more picture of E with her friend from the dojo that his mom took, and that is all there are.  That has been my biggest regret of the parties is not having any pictures.  Next year I hope to get set up a photo booth area for the kids to use at least.  

I managed 1 "mural'd" wall in a minecraft theme, and then our foods were all from the game.  I realized (Saturday night) that the reason we can't do pizza for parties is because everyone we know is gluten or dairy free, and/or vegan.  So we switched to baked potatoes, rolls, apples, carrots, and melon to go with the theme.  We're doing a baked potato bar for my moms 70th birthday in a couple weeks and I gotta say that is my new favorite party meal.  So easy to do ahead of time, easy to have toppings that work for everyone.  The weather was gorgeous, and everyone ate outside.  My house is immaculate.  Odd, but definitely a good party.  

Daiya brand sells frozen GF and DF pizzas.

We've also had luck getting GF pizzas, parbaked, from a local delivery joint. Dh adds cheese on at home and bakes it in his toaster oven.

[Pants]

Oct 29, 2018 9:56:16 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I survived our halloween party.  There were a few touch and go moments and we were still building the creeper 30 minutes before the party, but it was fun.  Glad I did it (although frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the lack of help I had in pulling it together).  I don't think the last guest had been gone for 5 minutes before C asked what next years theme would be.  

I have 1 picture of E in her costume (that a neighbor took and sent to me).  Will hopefully get one more picture of E with her friend from the dojo that his mom took, and that is all there are.  That has been my biggest regret of the parties is not having any pictures.  Next year I hope to get set up a photo booth area for the kids to use at least.  

I managed 1 "mural'd" wall in a minecraft theme, and then our foods were all from the game.  I realized (Saturday night) that the reason we can't do pizza for parties is because everyone we know is gluten or dairy free, and/or vegan.  So we switched to baked potatoes, rolls, apples, carrots, and melon to go with the theme.  We're doing a baked potato bar for my moms 70th birthday in a couple weeks and I gotta say that is my new favorite party meal.  So easy to do ahead of time, easy to have toppings that work for everyone.  The weather was gorgeous, and everyone ate outside.  My house is immaculate.  Odd, but definitely a good party.  

Oh look, it's my surprised face. 

[raeoflyte]

Oct 29, 2018 12:11:29 GMT -5 Pants said:

Oct 29, 2018 9:56:16 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I survived our halloween party.  There were a few touch and go moments and we were still building the creeper 30 minutes before the party, but it was fun.  Glad I did it (although frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the lack of help I had in pulling it together).  I don't think the last guest had been gone for 5 minutes before C asked what next years theme would be.  

I have 1 picture of E in her costume (that a neighbor took and sent to me).  Will hopefully get one more picture of E with her friend from the dojo that his mom took, and that is all there are.  That has been my biggest regret of the parties is not having any pictures.  Next year I hope to get set up a photo booth area for the kids to use at least.  

I managed 1 "mural'd" wall in a minecraft theme, and then our foods were all from the game.  I realized (Saturday night) that the reason we can't do pizza for parties is because everyone we know is gluten or dairy free, and/or vegan.  So we switched to baked potatoes, rolls, apples, carrots, and melon to go with the theme.  We're doing a baked potato bar for my moms 70th birthday in a couple weeks and I gotta say that is my new favorite party meal.  So easy to do ahead of time, easy to have toppings that work for everyone.  The weather was gorgeous, and everyone ate outside.  My house is immaculate.  Odd, but definitely a good party.  

Oh look, it's my surprised face. 

Right there with ya on that.  I don't even expect any help on any event except what I can get the day of, although dh is always post or between shifts so bringing in chairs is about the extent of what I can get, and then requests for me to dictate exactly how to arrange them "so that I'm happy with it".  But what drove me nuts last night was the snuggliness and touchiness.  No, I don't want a back rub or cuddle on the couch.  I worked my a$$ off all day and I just want to watch my choice of tv without commentary.   

[raeoflyte]

Oct 29, 2018 12:01:38 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Oct 29, 2018 9:56:16 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I survived our halloween party.  There were a few touch and go moments and we were still building the creeper 30 minutes before the party, but it was fun.  Glad I did it (although frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the lack of help I had in pulling it together).  I don't think the last guest had been gone for 5 minutes before C asked what next years theme would be.  

I have 1 picture of E in her costume (that a neighbor took and sent to me).  Will hopefully get one more picture of E with her friend from the dojo that his mom took, and that is all there are.  That has been my biggest regret of the parties is not having any pictures.  Next year I hope to get set up a photo booth area for the kids to use at least.  

I managed 1 "mural'd" wall in a minecraft theme, and then our foods were all from the game.  I realized (Saturday night) that the reason we can't do pizza for parties is because everyone we know is gluten or dairy free, and/or vegan.  So we switched to baked potatoes, rolls, apples, carrots, and melon to go with the theme.  We're doing a baked potato bar for my moms 70th birthday in a couple weeks and I gotta say that is my new favorite party meal.  So easy to do ahead of time, easy to have toppings that work for everyone.  The weather was gorgeous, and everyone ate outside.  My house is immaculate.  Odd, but definitely a good party.  

Daiya brand sells frozen GF and DF pizzas.

We've also had luck getting GF pizzas, parbaked, from a local delivery joint. Dh adds cheese on at home and bakes it in his toaster oven.

I've had good gf pizzas.  The DF is a lot more iffy.  For a small group though we'll have to try them out.  

The regular butter got lost in the commotion last night so everyone had vegan butter and it was a great hit.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, it is hard to need both. Companies are good with one or the other but both, done well, ain't easy to find.

I think there's a brand called Caulipower that goes frozen DF and gf pizzas too. Hard to find here so I don't know if you'd be able to fond them.

[cktc]

A friend is having a birthday party for her three kids this weekend and I am thinking I'll just do gift cards to the local arcade/bowling alley/movie theater. They only do $10, $25, or $50 though. Is $10/kid or $50 for the whole family better?

[gs11rmb]

If the kids are old enough, I'd do separate cards.  Minimize the squabbling!