Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 15, 2018 13:14:32 GMT -5
Oh god bless my mother - she is taking my kids from Weds at noon until Friday night. They don't have school T or F. Maybe I will have enough energy to take them to the pumpkin patch this weekend when I get them.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2018 13:36:25 GMT -5
Good. You need some time off. Your husband can fend for himself. You do something for you and nobody else. You deserve it.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Oct 15, 2018 14:10:22 GMT -5
Take some time for yourself, Sam. And only you. I know you wrote before about your husband's depression and mental illness issues. I'm fairly certain I have mentioned my DH has issues with depression, ptsd, etc, and has even been hospitalized a few times due to wanting to commit suicide. No one but you can decide how you want to move forward and live your life, and I know from my personal experience how difficult it can be to live with someone dealing with their own mental health issues and trying to take care of children to boot. The difference is that never once did my DH treat me the way yours treats you. Even at his lowest points, he did not use me as a verbal punching bag or act like it was in any way my fault. My heart goes out to you, and I am only writing this because I truly do care. Sometimes I sit in amazement at what a great group we have here even though most of use have never met each other. We all want the best for you.
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cael
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Post by cael on Oct 15, 2018 15:09:15 GMT -5
Been a while, I can't catch up on everything but I did some skimming! Hope everyone has been ok - nuttin, I am so sorry about your sister. I can relate to so many of you with marriage problems. DH and I aren't as bad as we've been, but still aren't great (it'll take a lot of work to be 'great' anytime soon). He actually apologized once last week, even though he worded it "I'm sorry we've been going at it at night again" instead of owning it, but it's something. He gets so pissed, can't be rational when we're discussing something contentious, literally pretends to not see what I'm saying to make me mad. I'm so sick of it. We've started seeing his therapist together again but her father passed away, so she's had to cancel our last few appointments. On an upside, DH is applying for new jobs. He's burned out and unhappy with how his is going, not to mention the hours aren't consistent and I've told him he needs to make consistent money. I don't even care if it's a lot of money as long as it's predictable. He's applying for municipal jobs, the idea of M-F and a pension and benefits is super exciting for him. He had an interview for one job at my city today, even though he may not prefer this one, and he said he felt it went well so I'm happy that's a boost for him. So I don't know, I feel bad about it but I keep thinking about what things I'd need to do or have in order if he ended up totally losing it or I totally lost it and kicked him the hell out. Not saying that'll happen, but it's sad that's how I think. I hope one day I don't have to think that way. Ant is great, loves daycare, has learned "no" and "mine" and pushing from the kids of course but that's expected lol. His new obsession is Paw Patrol ("boh-ah-oh!") and he's also very interested in poop and pee He started once a week speech therapy a few weeks ago, so hopefully we'll see some more improvement in his words - he didn't score delayed on any of the tests early intervention does, but they can use their clinical judgement to get a kid services, so based on his poor articulation they qualified him. I feel bad, he's been asking more to stay home with me in the mornings and I just can't really take much time off until they replace my boss so that's sucked. I did stay home this morning with him because he's been sick and DH had that interview.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 15, 2018 15:31:37 GMT -5
I think you have to switch to the desktop site. If you're on an Android, click the three dots in a row in the top right then check the "switch to desktop site" box, then follow Pants's directions. Sidebar: he's an asshole. Yeah I know, but he usually doesn't add a personal insult at the end of every comment like he did to me in that thread. Hense the blocking. He must be going through something personal and I hope that he gets help for whatever problem he is having. I just refuse to be his punching bag. I browsed the forums after a few weeks off and saw your posts. And I went into a tizzy on HIM on one of the threads today too. I refuse to engage further with him but did give him a piece of my mind. He is a JERK. Tries to justify any action with the stupidest of logic. Asshole. The funny thing is till a few years ago I actually enjoyed his posts. In the last few months thought he is acting more and more like an entitled male who is hell bent on proving women wrong. No particular reason for this post. I just realized its the same guy so posting.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 15, 2018 19:08:11 GMT -5
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 15, 2018 19:53:14 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 15, 2018 19:53:28 GMT -5
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 15, 2018 20:01:15 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. ((((Hugs)))) Sam.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Oct 15, 2018 20:03:33 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. ((((Hugs)))) Sam. .
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 15, 2018 20:05:07 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. Hugs for you, Sam.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Oct 15, 2018 20:16:32 GMT -5
Lots of <<<<< Hugs >>>>> for you Sam.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Oct 15, 2018 22:19:21 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere.
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Oct 16, 2018 5:34:13 GMT -5
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 16, 2018 7:56:48 GMT -5
Today is our 14th wedding anniversary. I forgot until dh texted me. Ooops. Probably won't be doing anything. C has soccer practice. Dh and K may hit the gym, if dh's knees feel ok.
We had parent teacher conferences last night. K is blowing her teacher away in everything. C is doing great, he's showing leadership ( which is interesting because K usually takes the lead and he'll let her) but his reading comprehension is suspect. Teacher is going to try to pin down if it's the testing or what. He dislikes reading but she said he's good at reading out loud and his spelling and writing are coming along in leaps and bounds. No worries on math for him either.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 16, 2018 9:06:50 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. Awe Sam. Hugs to you. Lots of love to you.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 16, 2018 9:13:34 GMT -5
Sam_2.0 Hugs Saw the photo on Facebook.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 16, 2018 9:24:50 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. Lost, I feel for you and your struggles. This display makes me sad. To me it looks like it belongs to someone who lost their husband shortly after the birth of their child. The single female symbols surrounding the statue couple complete the look.
I dabble in Feng Shui. If I were you and wanted to try saving the marriage, I'd remove all the single woman symbols and try to find some happy current couple symbols to bring things to a hopeful happy future.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 16, 2018 9:41:41 GMT -5
I don't see single woman symbols, I see a mom who is grieving for her baby. She can't forget that, she shouldn't forget it.
Hugs to Sam, and I'm happy to hear your DH stepped up last night.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 16, 2018 9:47:00 GMT -5
Interesting observation. 2 of those are a mother & child (figurine and painting). The other one is the doll that Aly gave her sister <3 But that really was the breaking point for us as a couple.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2018 9:50:17 GMT -5
Wave of light tonight for all the babies gone too soon. DH stepped up and took the kiddos when I started sobbing. No questions. He handles the rest of the night and got them all to bed like a champ. Its these glimpses of decent and kind that have me questioning if I should go. I know it's in there. Somewhere. Lost, I feel for you and your struggles. This display makes me sad. To me it looks like it belongs to someone who lost their husband shortly after the birth of their child. The single female symbols surrounding the statue couple complete the look.
I dabble in Feng Shui. If I were you and wanted to try saving the marriage, I'd remove all the single woman symbols and try to find some happy current couple symbols to bring things to a hopeful happy future.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
I too enjoy magical thinking and make-believe nonsense! I too enjoy using it to criticize others under the guise of being helpful!!
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 16, 2018 10:09:18 GMT -5
Lost, I feel for you and your struggles. This display makes me sad. To me it looks like it belongs to someone who lost their husband shortly after the birth of their child. The single female symbols surrounding the statue couple complete the look.
I dabble in Feng Shui. If I were you and wanted to try saving the marriage, I'd remove all the single woman symbols and try to find some happy current couple symbols to bring things to a hopeful happy future.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
You're really off base here. There is no reason to take down symbols of a mother and child, under any circumstances, and certainly not these. There are plenty of other posts you could respond to with suggestions for her marriage if you were so inclined to help and not criticize.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 16, 2018 10:09:52 GMT -5
I don't see single woman symbols, I see a mom who is grieving for her baby. She can't forget that, she shouldn't forget it. Hugs to Sam, and I'm happy to hear your DH stepped up last night. I see couple symbols there, too, so I'm thinking, "what you talking about, Willis?" at that statement.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 16, 2018 10:14:41 GMT -5
Lost, I feel for you and your struggles. This display makes me sad. To me it looks like it belongs to someone who lost their husband shortly after the birth of their child. The single female symbols surrounding the statue couple complete the look.
I dabble in Feng Shui. If I were you and wanted to try saving the marriage, I'd remove all the single woman symbols and try to find some happy current couple symbols to bring things to a hopeful happy future.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
I too enjoy magical thinking and make-believe nonsense! I too enjoy using it to criticize others under the guise of being helpful!! I'm so glad someone else noticed this too. I almost thought it was just me being touchy.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 16, 2018 10:15:57 GMT -5
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 16, 2018 10:36:40 GMT -5
I took no offense. I found the observation amusing. There's a lot of stuff we do subconsciously and I thought it was kind of accurate.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 16, 2018 10:44:23 GMT -5
I took no offense. I found the observation amusing. There's a lot of stuff we do subconsciously and I thought it was kind of accurate. When dh and I were at our worst I did make an effort to put pictures up of us together during good times. I should do that again as everything is us separate or family pictures.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2018 10:50:38 GMT -5
I took no offense. I found the observation amusing. There's a lot of stuff we do subconsciously and I thought it was kind of accurate. I am not surprised that Aubrey's passing was the point at which things broke. I remember reading once that something like 80% of marriages dissolve if the parents lose a child. (Don't quote me, I read that in college I believe. Would have to do some research on numbers now.) Personally, I am more shocked that any marriage can survive that kind of loss. Your mantle sends messages to me as well, but "my husband died" isn't one of them.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 16, 2018 10:58:06 GMT -5
I took no offense. I found the observation amusing. There's a lot of stuff we do subconsciously and I thought it was kind of accurate. When dh and I were at our worst I did make an effort to put pictures up of us together during good times. I should do that again as everything is us separate or family pictures. My DH and I have a very harmonious marriage, and we don't have a single photo of either of us up in our home. We just never got around to it. He has a friend who had wedding photos and mementos up all over his house. That was 2 wives ago. Now, I have studied a little feng shui. It says things like, if you want to have a 1st child, put objects in groups of 3. In the photo here, I saw mementos of the lost child, as well as husband/wife. Granted, it's just a small area, but seems like it covers the couple requirement well enough to me. I guess she could do groupings of 6, to represent all of them.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 16, 2018 10:59:47 GMT -5
Pants, you said not to quote you, so I didn't , but that has been my observation as well.
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