Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Oct 11, 2018 14:59:29 GMT -5
I don't name everyone's children, but I feel like I know the names of everyone's kids anyhow. Over the years most people have let names slip enough times that I have a fair idea of a lot of peoples' kids.
Also, andi - Marisol?
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Oct 11, 2018 15:01:44 GMT -5
Why don't you drive separately and just meet them at the swim meet? I thought about it. It's just that it's 45 minutes away, so it seems really silly to go separate when they are literally driving right past my house on the way. Maybe I'll still do that. Make an excuse of some kind about going shopping or something afterwards. (like anyone would believe that coming from me ) Nope. NOPE NOPE. *I* would not get in a car with your ex, and he's not even my ex. "I'll meet you there, I have some stuff to do after." It's silly to drive separately but it's not silly to put yourself at ease mentally and emotionally instead of turning this into a trial. Respect what your body is telling you.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,239
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 11, 2018 15:11:04 GMT -5
Why don't you drive separately and just meet them at the swim meet? I thought about it. It's just that it's 45 minutes away, so it seems really silly to go separate when they are literally driving right past my house on the way. Maybe I'll still do that. Make an excuse of some kind about going shopping or something afterwards. (like anyone would believe that coming from me ) You could go with knowing that you could always uber home if you absolutely had to. Or you could uber to a place where your other son could pick you up.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,940
Member is Online
|
Post by finnime on Oct 11, 2018 15:11:25 GMT -5
what Pants said. This is what I did for my DS after divorcing, and it was the only good way to go.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2018 15:22:43 GMT -5
I thought about it. It's just that it's 45 minutes away, so it seems really silly to go separate when they are literally driving right past my house on the way. Maybe I'll still do that. Make an excuse of some kind about going shopping or something afterwards. (like anyone would believe that coming from me ) You could go with knowing that you could always uber home if you absolutely had to. Or you could uber to a place where your other son could pick you up. We're not in Uber-land. But wouldn't that be a fortune anyhow? It's 45 miles.
There's a Sam's Club in town. I think I have my out as I make a once a month trip to Sam's anyhow, so he would totally get me doing that. Not that it matters that he understands my reasons. It just seems so strange when I think of all the thousands of miles we drove together over the years. We went cross country a couple of times...but 45 miles is stressing me out.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 11, 2018 15:24:06 GMT -5
I think you should just pull him out of this meet, since he doesn't seem to care anyway. You've got enough on your plate.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,954
|
Post by raeoflyte on Oct 11, 2018 15:25:03 GMT -5
You could go with knowing that you could always uber home if you absolutely had to. Or you could uber to a place where your other son could pick you up. We're not in Uber-land. But wouldn't that be a fortune anyhow? It's 45 miles.
There's a Sam's Club in town. I think I have my out as I make a once a month trip to Sam's anyhow, so he would totally get me doing that. Not that it matters that he understands my reasons. It just seems so strange when I think of all the thousands of miles we drove together over the years. We went cross country a couple of times...but 45 miles is stressing me out.
I'm guessing that was before he lost his marbles and became abusive... But regardless, you did a lot of things with him while you were married. That doesn't mean you need to do anymore than reasonably coparent with him now.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,926
|
Post by taz157 on Oct 11, 2018 15:29:30 GMT -5
I think you should just pull him out of this meet, since he doesn't seem to care anyway. You've got enough on your plate. Yeah that.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,926
|
Post by taz157 on Oct 11, 2018 15:29:49 GMT -5
We're not in Uber-land. But wouldn't that be a fortune anyhow? It's 45 miles.
There's a Sam's Club in town. I think I have my out as I make a once a month trip to Sam's anyhow, so he would totally get me doing that. Not that it matters that he understands my reasons. It just seems so strange when I think of all the thousands of miles we drove together over the years. We went cross country a couple of times...but 45 miles is stressing me out.
I'm guessing that was before he lost his marbles and became abusive... But regardless, you did a lot of things with him while you were married. That doesn't mean you need to do anymore than reasonably coparent with him now. Yeah that.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,239
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 11, 2018 15:59:15 GMT -5
You could go with knowing that you could always uber home if you absolutely had to. Or you could uber to a place where your other son could pick you up. We're not in Uber-land. But wouldn't that be a fortune anyhow? It's 45 miles.
There's a Sam's Club in town. I think I have my out as I make a once a month trip to Sam's anyhow, so he would totally get me doing that. Not that it matters that he understands my reasons. It just seems so strange when I think of all the thousands of miles we drove together over the years. We went cross country a couple of times...but 45 miles is stressing me out.
I have no idea. I never ubered before. I always drive or have a bazillion friends and family that could come pick me up or let me use their car if I needed.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2018 16:09:58 GMT -5
I think you should just pull him out of this meet, since he doesn't seem to care anyway. You've got enough on your plate. I would, but this is one of only 4 out of 9 meets he's going to be able to make. The two home meets and two in this other town. The other 5 are WAY too far. Like 130-220 miles away. I crossed them off first thing. I'm not taking an 8 year old beginner that far. Maybe in a few years if he sticks with it and actually stands a shot at sectionals and state. Last year he just got to do the two home meets and this year he begged to do some away ones so I agreed he could do two and I don't want to do one of those other ones.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Oct 11, 2018 16:30:26 GMT -5
I think you should just pull him out of this meet, since he doesn't seem to care anyway. You've got enough on your plate. I would, but this is one of only 4 out of 9 meets he's going to be able to make. The two home meets and two in this other town. The other 5 are WAY too far. Like 130-220 miles away. I crossed them off first thing. I'm not taking an 8 year old beginner that far. Maybe in a few years if he sticks with it and actually stands a shot at sectionals and state. Last year he just got to do the two home meets and this year he begged to do some away ones so I agreed he could do two and I don't want to do one of those other ones.
Like you said, he's an 8 year old beginner. You said before he doesn't care, but he sort of does. I guess I'd try to figure out how much he really cares, and go from there (but drive yourself if he goes).
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,821
|
Post by NastyWoman on Oct 11, 2018 16:56:19 GMT -5
We're not in Uber-land. But wouldn't that be a fortune anyhow? It's 45 miles.
There's a Sam's Club in town. I think I have my out as I make a once a month trip to Sam's anyhow, so he would totally get me doing that. Not that it matters that he understands my reasons. It just seems so strange when I think of all the thousands of miles we drove together over the years. We went cross country a couple of times...but 45 miles is stressing me out.
I'm guessing that was before he lost his marbles and became abusive... But regardless, you did a lot of things with him while you were married. That doesn't mean you need to do anymore than reasonably coparent with him now. and if you feel weird about this think about it this way: do you feel like you owe it to him to take vacations together, or share your home with him, or to have sex with him just because you were once married? Of course not! You owe HIM nothing; all you are doing is co-parenting with him because of Carrot. So tell him you prefer separate cars and don't give him any explanation whatsoever. Your reasons are none of his business.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2018 16:58:27 GMT -5
He doesn't care about this particular meet, but he put down for his personal goal that they filled out at the beginning of the season that he wants to do 2 out of town meets. That was his only goal. I really don't want to be driving halfway to Canada because it's the last meet and he hasn't achieved his goal.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2018 17:06:48 GMT -5
I'm guessing that was before he lost his marbles and became abusive... But regardless, you did a lot of things with him while you were married. That doesn't mean you need to do anymore than reasonably coparent with him now. and if you feel weird about this think about it this way: do you feel like you owe it to him to take vacations together, or share your home with him, or to have sex with him just because you were once married? Of course not! You owe HIM nothing; all you are doing is co-parenting with hime because of Carrot. So tell him you prefer separate cars and don't give him any explanation whatsoever. Your reasons are none of his business. I know. It's just weird because I'd share a ride with practically anyone else. A coworker caught a ride with me to the other plant last week that I barely knew his name.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,821
|
Post by NastyWoman on Oct 11, 2018 17:09:02 GMT -5
and if you feel weird about this think about it this way: do you feel like you owe it to him to take vacations together, or share your home with him, or to have sex with him just because you were once married? Of course not! You owe HIM nothing; all you are doing is co-parenting with hime because of Carrot. So tell him you prefer separate cars and don't give him any explanation whatsoever. Your reasons are none of his business. I know. It's just weird because I'd share a ride with practically anyone else. A coworker caught a ride with me to the other plant last week that I barely knew his name. And I bet that co-worker never raised his hand to you. You are not weird not wanting to do this. And if it bugs xH2.0 just raise an eyebrow at him and shrug your shoulders.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2018 17:09:43 GMT -5
Hell. I've ridden to Thanksgiving dinner at my ex-MILs 80 miles away with first ex...AND his wife! That's why I'm taken aback this is freaking me out.
Pretty sure I'm afraid if him but too proud to admit it.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,821
|
Post by NastyWoman on Oct 11, 2018 17:11:18 GMT -5
Hell. I've ridden to Thanksgiving dinner at my ex-MILs 80 miles away with first ex...AND his wife! That's why I'm taken aback this is freaking me out. Pretty sure I'm afraid if him but too proud to admit it. You don't have to tell him that but please be smart enough (and I know you are smart) to follow your instinct.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,952
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 11, 2018 17:36:14 GMT -5
And we just learned my wedding ring fits Gwens index finger.😒
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,239
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 11, 2018 21:34:37 GMT -5
And we just learned my wedding ring fits Gwens index finger.😒 Thing 1 tried to convince me once when she was that age that my mom said she could have her wedding ring. She didn't understand why I wouldn't believe her. Yeah right.
|
|
geenamercile
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:40:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,534
|
Post by geenamercile on Oct 12, 2018 7:18:54 GMT -5
Annoyed- ODD has been tardy to school everyday for the last two weeks. We just came off of some issues and her fighting to go at all, so I figured it was because of still some stress/anxiety in the morning. Well thanks to the hurrican and working in a differnt district I had a two hour delay and they did not. She has to be in the classroom by 7:45, it takes about 10 mins to get there. It is 7:25 and DH is still in bed. Yep he has decided he doesn't like dealing with the traffic at school so he is dropping her off late, of course it is the schools fault for not having a better system for the traffic.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2018 8:00:14 GMT -5
Annoyed- ODD has been tardy to school everyday for the last two weeks. We just came off of some issues and her fighting to go at all, so I figured it was because of still some stress/anxiety in the morning. Well thanks to the hurrican and working in a differnt district I had a two hour delay and they did not. She has to be in the classroom by 7:45, it takes about 10 mins to get there. It is 7:25 and DH is still in bed. Yep he has decided he doesn't like dealing with the traffic at school so he is dropping her off late, of course it is the schools fault for not having a better system for the traffic. I avoid the traffic by dropping my kids off way early. Carrot starts at 7:45 and I drop him off at 7am. The earliest they can get there. Hardly anyone there...very low stress. He plays with his friends or has breakfast for $1 if he's still hungry.
Older son gets dropped off a few minutes later at the high school and he doesn't start until 8:45, so he has a long wait, but he uses the time to do homework (at least that's what he tells me...he doesn't complain about the nearly 2 hour wait though).
|
|
Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
Posts: 12,350
|
Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 12, 2018 8:03:59 GMT -5
Work has been crazy. I'll come back to catch up later but I had to tell you ladies this first. Totally had a dream about a co-worker last night. It was quite fantastic. To the point where I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to look at him at all today.
|
|
tcu2003
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 31, 2010 15:24:01 GMT -5
Posts: 4,949
|
Post by tcu2003 on Oct 12, 2018 8:10:49 GMT -5
Annoyed- ODD has been tardy to school everyday for the last two weeks. We just came off of some issues and her fighting to go at all, so I figured it was because of still some stress/anxiety in the morning. Well thanks to the hurrican and working in a differnt district I had a two hour delay and they did not. She has to be in the classroom by 7:45, it takes about 10 mins to get there. It is 7:25 and DH is still in bed. Yep he has decided he doesn't like dealing with the traffic at school so he is dropping her off late, of course it is the schools fault for not having a better system for the traffic. This would piss me off to no end. He wouldn’t have to worry about being in bed the next morning because he would have been sleeping on the couch, in the basement, or in the garage. Not cool.
|
|
Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
Posts: 12,350
|
Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 12, 2018 8:12:44 GMT -5
I would be annoyed too, geena. Can you arrange other transportation for her?
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,239
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 12, 2018 8:19:32 GMT -5
Work has been crazy. I'll come back to catch up later but I had to tell you ladies this first. Totally had a dream about a co-worker last night. It was quite fantastic. To the point where I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to look at him at all today. Get it girl! Seriously, it happens. I had a dream about a good friend recently too. No one has to know. Hope it's not awkward at work. If it is, hopefully he doesn't notice.
|
|
chen35
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 6, 2011 19:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,309
|
Post by chen35 on Oct 12, 2018 9:09:48 GMT -5
Work has been crazy. I'll come back to catch up later but I had to tell you ladies this first. Totally had a dream about a co-worker last night. It was quite fantastic. To the point where I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to look at him at all today. Those are the best/worst dreams!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Sept 19, 2024 18:49:11 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2018 9:23:20 GMT -5
Annoyed- ODD has been tardy to school everyday for the last two weeks. We just came off of some issues and her fighting to go at all, so I figured it was because of still some stress/anxiety in the morning. Well thanks to the hurrican and working in a differnt district I had a two hour delay and they did not. She has to be in the classroom by 7:45, it takes about 10 mins to get there. It is 7:25 and DH is still in bed. Yep he has decided he doesn't like dealing with the traffic at school so he is dropping her off late, of course it is the schools fault for not having a better system for the traffic. This would piss me off to no end. He wouldn’t have to worry about being in bed the next morning because he would have been sleeping on the couch, in the basement, or in the garage. Not cool. Me too. Here three tardies are counted as an absence and if kids are late every day it could effect them being able to pass the grade as they're only allowed 8 absences in a year. In the higher grades there is summer school to make them up, but I don't know what the grade school has if anything.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 12, 2018 9:25:51 GMT -5
A couple podcasts that I started listening to this week that if you are a podcast person might interest you. Tilted is brought to you by Lean-in. They had the best line "there is nothing worse than working with a man that has no where to be. Women get shit done. We don't have time for that". There other one is How it is by Hello-sunshine which Reese Witherspoon's company.
|
|
Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
Posts: 12,350
|
Post by Sam_2.0 on Oct 12, 2018 9:27:00 GMT -5
I had a dream about my ex the night before too. Sheesh. Clearly its been a minute.
|
|