The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[azucena]

Spent about 20 hours fishing over the course of the long weekend - BLISSFUL!  When our girls got bored after an hour or so each day, DH took them off to do other activities.  He said we need to figure out a way to get you to a lake at least once a month.  Yes, please!  I do have another weekend trip in Oct at a different lake.  And there's literally a public pond right next to the kids' school - will have to make that happen.

[raeoflyte]

C's home sick.  I feel terrible that we went to my folks for a bbq yesterday.  Really hoping my mom doesn't catch his cold.  I am hoping he's on the mend finally.  Last night was awful.  

Otherwise we had a good weekend.  Dh survived and even enjoyed the concert.  He's sore, but doing better than he has before.  E had a super emotional weekend again.  But when she calms down, she really gets it it seems.  She started to have melt down this morning and then asked to pack her lunch which turned her around 100%.  That would be amazing if she can keep that up.  

[finnime]

Sept 4, 2018 12:25:18 GMT -5 azucena said:

Spent about 20 hours fishing over the course of the long weekend - BLISSFUL!  When our girls got bored after an hour or so each day, DH took them off to do other activities.  He said we need to figure out a way to get you to a lake at least once a month.  Yes, please!  I do have another weekend trip in Oct at a different lake.  And there's literally a public pond right next to the kids' school - will have to make that happen.

Fantastic! Peace restores equilibrium.

[Sam_2.0]

Sept 4, 2018 12:25:18 GMT -5 azucena said:

Spent about 20 hours fishing over the course of the long weekend - BLISSFUL!  When our girls got bored after an hour or so each day, DH took them off to do other activities.  He said we need to figure out a way to get you to a lake at least once a month.  Yes, please!  I do have another weekend trip in Oct at a different lake.  And there's literally a public pond right next to the kids' school - will have to make that happen.

Near the water is where my soul feels at home. We have a lake just 5 minutes from us and I still can't seem to make the time to get there often enough. I really should go at least once a month!

[cktc]

I just realized I missed taking my mini pill yesterday. Accidentally took it an hour early the day before. I have an alarm on my phone and have never messed up like this before these last couple days. Sleep deprivation is going to get me pregnant. I just took an opk and it came out negative so hopefully I'm in the clear.

[Pants]

I think I'm in a fight with B's teacher. She sends home reading sheets that have to be signed by both parent and student. I don't want to do it. B is in charge of B's homework, from my POV. I wrote a nice note explaining why I wouldn't be signing them, and the teacher pretty much sent me a note back telling me to sign the damn paper "to make sure that her homework is supervised and checked." 

Dude, I'm not supervising or checking her homework, that's why I will not be signing the paper. It's her homework, not my homework. 

Anyway not sure where to go from here.

[Sam_2.0]

I am with you, BSB. I never sign As books or homework. She has 20 mins after school to do it each day. If that's not enough time, then it's not getting done unless it's a special project. I work all day long. I want to enjoy my evenings too. I get Fs as a parent. Oh well.

[cktc]

Kids being responsible for their own homework is great. I don't think refusing to sign is necessary to get the message across to them. If anything it might be more confusing. I trust you to do your homework, but not enough to sign for it. Now she has the teacher frustrated that she's not completing things, her friends parents probably have no problem signing. It's just confusing. She's in elementary right? I could see standing on principal for middle or high school students but she's kinda young to understand your motivations.

[gs11rmb]

I take the attitude that at some point in time my children will be a major PITA to their teachers.  I want to have a good enough relationship that we can work together to come up with a solution.  That's not going to happen if the teacher also views me as a PITA...  .

[swamp]

today was the first day of school. 

DS is starting middle school (7th grade) at the MS/HS building.  He hopped out of the car happy as can be.  Forgot his soccer stuff and clarinet in the car, I had to call him back.    Poor guy had to bring all his school supplies, gym clothes, band instrument, and then his soccer stuff for practice after school.  And I think there is a snack in there too.     So, after a full day of school, he has to walk a few blocks to a drug store, and his grandmother will pick him and some friends up and take them to soccer practice.  Because there are so many teams at the HS (boys varsity and JV, girls varsity and JV), the modified teams have to play off site.    His practice is at an elementary school about 1.5 miles from the HS.  

DD is going into 5th at the same elementary school where she's been since 1st grade.  And she cried.  

[Deleted]

Sept 5, 2018 7:23:05 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I take the attitude that at some point in time my children will be a major PITA to their teachers.  I want to have a good enough relationship that we can work together to come up with a solution.  That's not going to happen if the teacher also views me as a PITA...  .

LOL

That's like me.  I've always said, my philosophy is I want the teacher to like at least ONE of us!    

[steph08]

I know my kid is only in pre-K, but she has a sheet that has to be signed at the end of the week showing that she completes all her homework. 

I have no problem signing it. I want my kid to take responsibility for herself, her studies, etc., but even if she was 15, I'd sign the damn paper.   I want her to know that I'm involved, that I care that she is getting an education, that I want her to know the information being taught at school, etc. 

I vacillate on this issue quite a bit because while I want to do ME, I also only have 14 more years to do HER - more likely less because she won't want me the way she does now long before she turns 18.

She's grown 10 years in just four days at pre-K. It's amazing. She told me on Friday that two kids were crying and missed their moms. I asked Harper if she missed me. She gave me this sly little smirk "I maybe didn't miss you that much." LOL and wahhhhhhhh at the same time! 

[Lizard Queen]

Just getting started with 3rd grade. So far, we have ignored most of the busywork homework, but make sure to get anything that needs to be handed in back to the teacher. (My kid hasn't struggled with anything yet. If he did, the busywork wouldn't be busywork any more.) I hate BS instructions probably more than most, but you gotta choose your battles, and ignoring BS instructions from certain people/entities is normally not the best battle to fight, and I definitely wouldn't want my kid caught in the cross fire.

[Deleted]

Once again grateful my kid goes to a school with no homework. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Sept 4, 2018 20:07:09 GMT -5 Pants said:

I think I'm in a fight with B's teacher. She sends home reading sheets that have to be signed by both parent and student. I don't want to do it. B is in charge of B's homework, from my POV. I wrote a nice note explaining why I wouldn't be signing them, and the teacher pretty much sent me a note back telling me to sign the damn paper "to make sure that her homework is supervised and checked." 

Dude, I'm not supervising or checking her homework, that's why I will not be signing the paper. It's her homework, not my homework. 

Anyway not sure where to go from here.

"My signing it doesn't mean either thing has happened, it means she brought it to me and I signed it"

[raeoflyte]

The only real homework C has had so far is reading.  If he doesn't finish his work in school sometimes that will come home, but that is rare.  Through 2nd grade we had to sign his reading log and the Monday folder (I guess to acknowledge we got the info papers coming home).  First grade they'd lose recess time if the reading logs didn't come back or if they hadn't read for enough time.  *que my recess soap box... But we definitely made sure they got back on time and signed.  Once in 2nd grade his reading log had a note on it that he needed a parent signature, not the # of minutes he read each night which C was really confused about until I looked at it and realized it was my lazy signature.  

3rd grade they are pushing personal responsibility big time.  Nothing has come home for signature, but they told us that we can ask to look in their day planners at night.  I like the message, but I know C is frustrated with the "yelling" in class and apparently the loss of recess is a threat again.  At back to school night the teachers said that kids not engaged in the lesson are being called out--so day dreaming, picking your fingers, etc. can get you in trouble when before it wouldn't have.  Beyond the 3 kids that he goes to math with I don't know anyone in his class this year, so I wonder if there is just a lot of struggle going on with the class in general.  If they do lose recess I am going to talk to the teacher.  She talks about how studies show that homework doesn't improve kids academics which is why she doesn't give it, so surely she's seen that lack of physical exercise affects kids learning as well.  Even just some downtime to not be on.  

[Lizard Queen]

Oh, yeah, that's bullshit. My kid didn't like sitting in his seat while he did his work, so his teacher let him stand at his desk. I asked if it seemed he has adhd, but the teacher said he was fine. Losing recess for fidgeting is really asinine. They'd fidget less if they got more wiggles out!

This year, ODS is in a classroom with experimental seating, standing desks, sitting on the floor, etc. They switch 3 or 4 times a day. I think he got placed in this classroom because of his preference for standing.

[muttleynfelix]

Ben is in LEO (Learning Enrichment Opportunities) this year which is a once a week special class and they are all about the kids being 100% responsible for their own work and the parents just their to guide them. I think it should be a good fit.

I was reading What Made Maddie Run and I realized how much our kids need to experience failure as kids. They also need unorganized play. (Not that these are the reasons the girl committed suicide, but having not experienced things being hard before she left home definitely contributed to her inability to cope to being at college). It was interesting.

[zibazinski]

Sept 5, 2018 10:53:20 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The only real homework C has had so far is reading.  If he doesn't finish his work in school sometimes that will come home, but that is rare.  Through 2nd grade we had to sign his reading log and the Monday folder (I guess to acknowledge we got the info papers coming home).  First grade they'd lose recess time if the reading logs didn't come back or if they hadn't read for enough time.  *que my recess soap box... But we definitely made sure they got back on time and signed.  Once in 2nd grade his reading log had a note on it that he needed a parent signature, not the # of minutes he read each night which C was really confused about until I looked at it and realized it was my lazy signature.  

3rd grade they are pushing personal responsibility big time.  Nothing has come home for signature, but they told us that we can ask to look in their day planners at night.  I like the message, but I know C is frustrated with the "yelling" in class and apparently the loss of recess is a threat again.  At back to school night the teachers said that kids not engaged in the lesson are being called out--so day dreaming, picking your fingers, etc. can get you in trouble when before it wouldn't have.  Beyond the 3 kids that he goes to math with I don't know anyone in his class this year, so I wonder if there is just a lot of struggle going on with the class in general.  If they do lose recess I am going to talk to the teacher.  She talks about how studies show that homework doesn't improve kids academics which is why she doesn't give it, so surely she's seen that lack of physical exercise affects kids learning as well.  Even just some downtime to not be on.  

Is it recess they lose or PE?

[raeoflyte]

Sept 5, 2018 13:04:18 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Sept 5, 2018 10:53:20 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The only real homework C has had so far is reading.  If he doesn't finish his work in school sometimes that will come home, but that is rare.  Through 2nd grade we had to sign his reading log and the Monday folder (I guess to acknowledge we got the info papers coming home).  First grade they'd lose recess time if the reading logs didn't come back or if they hadn't read for enough time.  *que my recess soap box... But we definitely made sure they got back on time and signed.  Once in 2nd grade his reading log had a note on it that he needed a parent signature, not the # of minutes he read each night which C was really confused about until I looked at it and realized it was my lazy signature.  

3rd grade they are pushing personal responsibility big time.  Nothing has come home for signature, but they told us that we can ask to look in their day planners at night.  I like the message, but I know C is frustrated with the "yelling" in class and apparently the loss of recess is a threat again.  At back to school night the teachers said that kids not engaged in the lesson are being called out--so day dreaming, picking your fingers, etc. can get you in trouble when before it wouldn't have.  Beyond the 3 kids that he goes to math with I don't know anyone in his class this year, so I wonder if there is just a lot of struggle going on with the class in general.  If they do lose recess I am going to talk to the teacher.  She talks about how studies show that homework doesn't improve kids academics which is why she doesn't give it, so surely she's seen that lack of physical exercise affects kids learning as well.  Even just some downtime to not be on.  

Is it recess they lose or PE?

Recess.  They have PE twice a week.  I would like more PE too, but I'd fight for more recess first because they still have to engaged and following specific instructions in PE.  They need more time to just play to really reset.  

They have stools for the kids that like to fidget that are supposed to help with that.  I didn't ask if fidgeting or doodling is an issue, or if it is only issues with checking out or disrupting the class.  If they've given instructions on an assignment and a kid looks lost, the teachers are immediately stepping in to help.  The kids are supposed to try to figure out what they're supposed to be doing.  Good stuff in theory, but it could be taken too far.  I pay attention so much better if I'm doodling and fidget spinners are like heaven for me but I realize they aren't conducive for classrooms.  

[Sam_2.0]

I was feeling bitchy this morning. There was a note that said "Parent Signature, please" on Aly's homework book. So I initialed & drew an arrow down through the rest of the week. I also get text message and email updates about what she needs to do, and she's not leaving anything undone. GAH! I am also not going to make A do an hour or more of homework per night. She does her 20 minutes of reading at bedtime, I read to her some at bedtime, and she has about 30 minutes after school to do any Chromebook work that she didn't finish at school. That's more than enough. I am not making her do busy work just to say she did. I am sure I am not on the teacher's list of favorites. Oh well.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 5, 2018 11:56:26 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Ben is in LEO (Learning Enrichment Opportunities) this year which is a once a week special class and they are all about the kids being 100% responsible for their own work and the parents just their to guide them. I think it should be a good fit.

I was reading What Made Maddie Run and I realized how much our kids need to experience failure as kids. They also need unorganized play. (Not that these are the reasons the girl committed suicide, but having not experienced things being hard before she left home definitely contributed to her inability to cope to being at college). It was interesting.

What Made Maddie Run was written by a former basketball player at Colorado and a great human being who cares about people. Reading What Made Maddie Run was heartbreaking to me.  Student athletes are on such a pedestal and have such high expectations placed on them.  

If Kate's book helps just one student athlete, it will be a great success.  From the FB comments to Kate about her book, it has helped student athletes immensely.  

Most college now have therapists on staff for student athletes.  They didn't in the past.  Colorado has added a second therapist this fall.

[tcu2003]

Seeking opinions if this is unreasonable or not. A woman I know from my hometown that lives near me (and consequently near my sis - she graduated with my sister, but we went to the same church/youth group and we’re all friends) is moving to WV on Monday. We wanted to see her before she moves, so sis volunteered to host dinner at her house tomorrow evening.

My niece is on a pseudo-club soccer team - as in, it’s not city rec league, but they’re not traveling and playing away tournaments (though they do local tournaments). Niece is 9 (4th grade), and the team practices 2-3 hrs/week, plus games on weekends. Practice yesterday was cancelled due to rain, so she now had a practice tomorrow night that was just scheduled today. Is this normal? With multiple kids and two working parents, I just don’t get how most people can make that work for last minute stuff like that. Or maybe I’m just cranky because sis totally forgot about the dinner she volunteered to host tomorrow night until I texted to ask if she needed me to bring anything.

I’ll still get to see friend - I’m volunteering to go out to dinner with her and pay, once my sis fesses up to her that she is cancelling.

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 5, 2018 19:40:50 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Seeking opinions if this is unreasonable or not. A woman I know from my hometown that lives near me (and consequently near my sis - she graduated with my sister, but we went to the same church/youth group and we’re all friends) is moving to WV on Monday. We wanted to see her before she moves, so sis volunteered to host dinner at her house tomorrow evening.

My niece is on a pseudo-club soccer team - as in, it’s not city rec league, but they’re not traveling and playing away tournaments (though they do local tournaments). Niece is 9 (4th grade), and the team practices 2-3 hrs/week, plus games on weekends. Practice yesterday was cancelled due to rain, so she now had a practice tomorrow night that was just scheduled today. Is this normal? With multiple kids and two working parents, I just don’t get how most people can make that work for last minute stuff like that. Or maybe I’m just cranky because sis totally forgot about the dinner she volunteered to host tomorrow night until I texted to ask if she needed me to bring anything.

I’ll still get to see friend - I’m volunteering to go out to dinner with her and pay, once my sis fesses up to her that she is cancelling.

My ODS is 8, on a rec league. Practice was cancelled today due to rain. The coach is going to try to get one in tomorrow or Friday. It wouldn't normally be rescheduled, but this team has not practiced together yet, met their coach, or gotten their uniforms, and their first game is Sat. Oh, and we just found out the game schedule today too! The last minute shit is maddening. It wouldn't be a big deal to miss a rescheduled practice under normal circumstances.

[Pants]

I came to a compromise on signing homework. B is in charge of asking me to sign her homework. I'm not going to ask about it, but if she asks me, I'll do it. I think that keeps the responsibility on her, but doesn't throw unecessary barriers in her way. She's generally a rule follower, so she was getting a bit upset about me not wanting to sign it, which of course, wasn't the intention or point of not signing it. I'll have a broader conversation with her teacher at conference time if necessary, but I think it's a decent workaround. 

[Sam_2.0]

I think you are ok to miss, TCU. But I am a shitty one for attending games/practoces

[Sam_2.0]

DH and I had it out tonight. Over something maybe dumb. Set me straight if I need it.

We had dinner at 9p after a long night with the kiddos. DH and I just nuked food for our own selves. I got leftovers. DH got a frozen dinner.

Apparently, his first EVER in 32 years.

He made a comment about it being his first one. I quipped something about being broke and hungry in my 20's and eating more of those than I cared to. He had to go and say he had never had frozen dinner *and* never even paid rent because he was "smart."

I put the rest of my leftovers in the fridge and walked away. Said his comment was ignorant. He wasnt "smart", but rather, he has lived off his privilege as a cis white male and hadn't needed to pay for rent or meals.

Why the fuck is a frozen dinner the source of my angst tonight?

[CCL]

Sept 5, 2018 22:50:29 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

DH and I had it out tonight. Over something maybe dumb. Set me straight if I need it.

We had dinner at 9p after a long night with the kiddos. DH and I just nuked food for our own selves. I got leftovers. DH got a frozen dinner.

Apparently, his first EVER in 32 years.

He made a comment about it being his first one. I quipped something about being broke and hungry in my 20's and eating more of those than I cared to. He had to go and say he had never had frozen dinner *and* never even paid rent because he was "smart."

I put the rest of my leftovers in the fridge and walked away. Said his comment was ignorant. He wasnt "smart", but rather, he has lived off his privilege as a cis white male and hadn't needed to pay for rent or meals.

Why the fuck is a frozen dinner the source of my angst tonight?[img src="http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png" class="smile" alt=""]

Seems to me he was complaining/criticising because he didn't get a "home-cooked" meal like he wanted. I don't think you were out of line. He could have cooked everyone's dinner himself or taken care of the kids so you could do it.

[Sam_2.0]

Sept 5, 2018 23:41:01 GMT -5 CCL said:

Sept 5, 2018 22:50:29 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

DH and I had it out tonight. Over something maybe dumb. Set me straight if I need it.

We had dinner at 9p after a long night with the kiddos. DH and I just nuked food for our own selves. I got leftovers. DH got a frozen dinner.

Apparently, his first EVER in 32 years.

He made a comment about it being his first one. I quipped something about being broke and hungry in my 20's and eating more of those than I cared to. He had to go and say he had never had frozen dinner *and* never even paid rent because he was "smart."

I put the rest of my leftovers in the fridge and walked away. Said his comment was ignorant. He wasnt "smart", but rather, he has lived off his privilege as a cis white male and hadn't needed to pay for rent or meals.

Why the fuck is a frozen dinner the source of my angst tonight?[img src="http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png" class="smile" alt=""]

Seems to me he was complaining/criticising because he didn't get a "home-cooked" meal like he wanted. I don't think you were out of line. He could have cooked everyone's dinner himself or taken care of the kids so you could do it.

Hahah! I never cook for him he cooks himself or goes out to eat.

[CCL]

Lol. Well, then I'd let him cook for everyone and give you a break.