The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[Pants]

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

Karl - what is her nap schedule like? At 18 months she is likely ready to move to one nap midday, if she hasn't already. 

[cktc]

Aug 19, 2018 13:13:00 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I think there is also a wind up period when parents get home.  Getting her more tired is always a good idea.  Every time we have problems our first thing is to limit/remove screen time and increase physical activity.  But if that isn't fixing it look at what else is happening in the routine too.  I don't remember what age we started it, but with C I could get him in bed earlier by challenging him to how many books we could read that night before bed.  

I'm sure it's bad parenting, but I actually find screen time settles my DS. He runs around like crazy all day and if I put a show on he'll usually calm down for a bit.

A consistent bedtime routine has been the best though with as many "it's time for bed" cues as possible. PJS, teeth, sound machine, night light, closing the door, turn off the light and nursing and story time by flashlight. Whatever we are doing, when we mention "bbs, teeth, story time" he is excited for bed. 


I am afraid it'll all go out the window when I cut nursing completely. I've been gradually reducing time but he's so attached

[MJ2.0]

Wait, you are nursing 2 kids at once? I’m sure that seems relatively meh to a lot of moms here, but as a mom who struggled really hard nursing one I can’t even fathom 2 during the same period.

[Pants]

Aug 20, 2018 11:35:59 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Aug 19, 2018 11:30:34 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

We are not upset about the walls, heck I think they add character to the house. Unlike my wife, I enjoy my house feeling lived in vs perfect..

Ex: I enjoy seeing my wife putting the living room (now my daughter playroom) back to “perfect” condition in the evening only for my daughter to just destroy that place the next day!

Also we made sure to buy her non-toxic washable crayons, so a little hot water and pad and boom... back to normal

As for the activities that is the thing: my mil is 69, 70 next year. She does go to the playground with Carlie and goes on walk but I don’t think enough to wear her out. My wife gets home at about 6:15-6:30 on the days I work and by then it is too late for playground or not.

Ok we need to think of things indoor that will get her tired... on days I am home I try dancing in the living room (her favorite song is the “Hot Dog” song and that thing is on repeat forever). But yeah she usually have way too much energy at the end of the day and not ready to wind down.

6:30 in the summer is not too late to go to the park - there’s still daylight! But yes, physical activity is the key to getting her tired enough to sleep.

My 18month olds would be in bed at 6:30, so, YMMV.

[MJ2.0]

I would have loved to have the schedule to have DS in bed at 6:30, but we were getting home around 6. His bedtime has always been around 7:30-8pm due to that.

[cktc]

Aug 20, 2018 15:51:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Wait, you are nursing 2 kids at once? I’m sure that seems relatively meh to a lot of moms here, but as a mom who struggled really hard nursing one I can’t even fathom 2 during the same period.

Yeah, not something I intended. We are down to once at night for 8 minutes from the eleventy billion times a day he used to nurse. I'd love to have him fully weaned in the next month, but will see. Adjusting to the new baby has been rough for him so I've been trying not to throw too many changes at him at once. It'd be easier if DH would take the lead on bedtime more. 

[raeoflyte]

E and our housemates daughter wont be in the same class and E is devastated. She held herself together until we got outside the school and then the wailing began. I'm not sure if the housemates daughter lasted that long. We didnt see each other after we split into the different rooms and she looked near tears then.

I know she'll survive, but she has been so excited for school that its hard to see her so upset about it now. I hope tomorrow is a little better.

[Jaguar]

Aug 20, 2018 21:39:08 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

E and our housemates daughter wont be in the same class and E is devastated. She held herself together until we got outside the school and then the wailing began. I'm not sure if the housemates daughter lasted that long. We didnt see each other after we split into the different rooms and she looked near tears then.

I know she'll survive, but she has been so excited for school that its hard to see her so upset about it now. I hope tomorrow is a little better.

Oh shit, geez poor kids.

[tcu2003]

Aug 20, 2018 18:02:08 GMT -5 cktc said:

Aug 20, 2018 15:51:31 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Wait, you are nursing 2 kids at once? I’m sure that seems relatively meh to a lot of moms here, but as a mom who struggled really hard nursing one I can’t even fathom 2 during the same period.

Yeah, not something I intended. We are down to once at night for 8 minutes from the eleventy billion times a day he used to nurse. I'd love to have him fully weaned in the next month, but will see. Adjusting to the new baby has been rough for him so I've been trying not to throw too many changes at him at once. It'd be easier if DH would take the lead on bedtime more. 

Hang in there, it does get better!! The first couple of months were sooo hard, but he will eventually adjust! C wanted to nurse all the freaking time after M was born, but it didn’t last forever. Hugs!

[tcu2003]

Awwwww, rae, that sucks.

[raeoflyte]

E woke up at 2 to crawl in bed with me and we talked about a bunch of stuff to expect at school that she was nervous about.  She was still sad she wasn't in class with her friend, but was feeling good at drop off (that we ran too, but were at least on time for--damn you 30 minute earlier start time!)

Spoke with the friends dad and she was doing fine this morning too.  *phew*  I though E was going to be my easy kid come school.  Someday I will learn that my expectations are going to be the death of me.  

[zibazinski]

Don’t you guys shut your bedroom doors?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I've been stuck watching awful YouTube videos involving Disney Princess dolls.  Right now there is a Frozen, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel cross over.

So help me God I started thinking a Disney Witches movie is something  they should get a move on creating.   So far I got Mother Gothel, Ursula and Malificent.   

[cktc]

Aug 21, 2018 15:19:57 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Don’t you guys shut your bedroom doors?

Kids know how to open doors. Locking them out at night to roam freely and unsupervised while you snooze doesn't really seem wise.

[andi9899]

Children who are old enough to crawl out of a toddler bed and run to a parent's bedroom are generally tall enough to reach a doorknob and smart enough to turn it. What's your point?

[geenamercile]

Facebook just popped up the 1 year anniversary of the photos we took of the eclipse last year.  Hard to think it was only a year that we took the trip down there.  It was a good trip with the girls, and I want to do more of those trips.  I want DH to come too.  It just reinforced my want to get a larger vehicle and a camper.  

[zibazinski]

Then lock it.

[steph08]

I don't lock doors in my house for the same reason I don't lock my children in their room even if they come out 57 million times a night - there are a ton of legitimate reasons why they might need me. They have to go to the bathroom, had an accident, they had a bad dream, they are sick, they got out of bed and lost their senses and put something in their mouth and are choking, etc. 

Some parents might lock their doors, but for me, I don't think it is a good idea. Even when I have woken up at 3 am to find a child staring at me! 

[zibazinski]

Yikes!!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Aug 20, 2018 11:35:59 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Aug 19, 2018 11:30:34 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

We are not upset about the walls, heck I think they add character to the house. Unlike my wife, I enjoy my house feeling lived in vs perfect..

Ex: I enjoy seeing my wife putting the living room (now my daughter playroom) back to “perfect” condition in the evening only for my daughter to just destroy that place the next day!

Also we made sure to buy her non-toxic washable crayons, so a little hot water and pad and boom... back to normal

As for the activities that is the thing: my mil is 69, 70 next year. She does go to the playground with Carlie and goes on walk but I don’t think enough to wear her out. My wife gets home at about 6:15-6:30 on the days I work and by then it is too late for playground or not.

Ok we need to think of things indoor that will get her tired... on days I am home I try dancing in the living room (her favorite song is the “Hot Dog” song and that thing is on repeat forever). But yeah she usually have way too much energy at the end of the day and not ready to wind down.

6:30 in the summer is not too late to go to the park - there’s still daylight! But yes, physical activity is the key to getting her tired enough to sleep.

or put a swingset in your backyard. Mil can sit out there and keep an eye on her.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Aug 20, 2018 13:22:21 GMT -5 cktc said:

Aug 19, 2018 13:13:00 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I think there is also a wind up period when parents get home.  Getting her more tired is always a good idea.  Every time we have problems our first thing is to limit/remove screen time and increase physical activity.  But if that isn't fixing it look at what else is happening in the routine too.  I don't remember what age we started it, but with C I could get him in bed earlier by challenging him to how many books we could read that night before bed.  

I'm sure it's bad parenting, but I actually find screen time settles my DS. He runs around like crazy all day and if I put a show on he'll usually calm down for a bit.

A consistent bedtime routine has been the best though with as many "it's time for bed" cues as possible. PJS, teeth, sound machine, night light, closing the door, turn off the light and nursing and story time by flashlight. Whatever we are doing, when we mention "bbs, teeth, story time" he is excited for bed. 


I am afraid it'll all go out the window when I cut nursing completely. I've been gradually reducing time but he's so attached

I made bedtime boring when the kids were little. Read a few books, lights out and quiet. I think at 18 months I was rocking them to sleep.

Once we moved to screen time, Kipper the Dog episodes were part of the bedtime routine.

[Pants]

Aug 22, 2018 6:56:02 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Then lock it.

What does it matter to you if someone else's daughter crawls into their bed to tell them their fears about a major life change?

Rae's identified issue, *if* there was one, was that her daughter is having trouble coping with change. Not that her daughter is interrupting her sleep. 

The solution to a child coping with change is not locking your door. You're providing a solution for a problem literally noone asked for help with. 

[Pants]

Aug 21, 2018 10:15:23 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

E woke up at 2 to crawl in bed with me and we talked about a bunch of stuff to expect at school that she was nervous about.  She was still sad she wasn't in class with her friend, but was feeling good at drop off (that we ran too, but were at least on time for--damn you 30 minute earlier start time!)

Spoke with the friends dad and she was doing fine this morning too.  *phew*  I though E was going to be my easy kid come school.  Someday I will learn that my expectations are going to be the death of me.  

B started school this week too. Friday was a shit show as we left the daycare she's been at since she was 3 months old. Like, she barricaded the doors with her body and refused to let anyone in or out level shit-show, lol. 

Over the weekend she decided that putting pink and purple streaks in her hair would give her extra confidence at her new school, so we did that. 

Monday was "orientation/meet the teacher/supplies drop off" where she met a couple kids and saw her class. She's the new kid, so that's hard. I found one kid in her class who was also going to her before care program and made sure to introduce them so she would have a friendly face. 

Tuesday I dropped her at before care and found that kid and was like "Oh great, your classmate Jemma is here - Jemma can B sit with you?" I had a lot of feelings and anxiety all day, but when she got home and told us about her day it was like: 
1) Mom dropped me at before care 
2) I went to the bathroom 
3) The bus came and we went to school 
4) ? 
5) Pizza for lunch 
6) ? 
7) Mom picked me up from aftercare!
Great day, lol! I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that. She also told me she made 3 new friends: Jemma, Lily, and The Other One Whose Name She Can't Remember But Who Is Her 3rd Best Friend. Kids, man. 

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2018 7:30:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Some parents might lock their doors, but for me, I don't think it is a good idea. Even when I have woken up at 3 am to find a child staring at me! 

ROFL

That brings back some nightmare memories!  For an instant there, you swear they're going to raise a hatchet. 

[andi9899]

Aug 22, 2018 9:20:08 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 22, 2018 7:30:03 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Some parents might lock their doors, but for me, I don't think it is a good idea. Even when I have woken up at 3 am to find a child staring at me! 

ROFL

That brings back some nightmare memories!  For an instant there, you swear they're going to raise a hatchet. 

Right! You flash back to Children of the Corn and everything.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 22, 2018 9:03:16 GMT -5 Pants said:

Aug 22, 2018 6:56:02 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Then lock it.

What does it matter to you if someone else's daughter crawls into their bed to tell them their fears about a major life change?

Rae's identified issue, *if* there was one, was that her daughter is having trouble coping with change. Not that her daughter is interrupting her sleep. 

The solution to a child coping with change is not locking your door. You're providing a solution for a problem literally noone asked for help with. 

Thank you Pants.  This exactly. 

I am incredibly grateful anytime the kids will share their feelings with me and want to encourage that.  Oddly they rarely want to share when it would be really convenient for me.  

[Pants]

Aug 22, 2018 9:57:40 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 22, 2018 9:20:08 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

ROFL

That brings back some nightmare memories!  For an instant there, you swear they're going to raise a hatchet. 

Right! You flash back to Children of the Corn and everything.

I've moooooooostly trained B out of that by this point. She knows if she has a bad dream, she's welcome to crawl into bed as long as she's quiet. If she has an accident, she can tell me from the door. But the standing over me silently waiting for me to wake up, backlit by the skylight that makes her look like EVERY CHILD POSSESSED BY DEMONS/ZOMBIE CHILDREN/PSYCHOPATH CHILDREN IN EVERY HORROR MOVIE? NOPE.

[Pants]

Aug 22, 2018 10:25:03 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 22, 2018 9:03:16 GMT -5 Pants said:

What does it matter to you if someone else's daughter crawls into their bed to tell them their fears about a major life change?

Rae's identified issue, *if* there was one, was that her daughter is having trouble coping with change. Not that her daughter is interrupting her sleep. 

The solution to a child coping with change is not locking your door. You're providing a solution for a problem literally noone asked for help with. 

Thank you Pants.  This exactly. 

I am incredibly grateful anytime the kids will share their feelings with me and want to encourage that.  Oddly they rarely want to share when it would be really convenient for me.  

I got you, boo. 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 22, 2018 9:14:47 GMT -5 Pants said:

Aug 21, 2018 10:15:23 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

E woke up at 2 to crawl in bed with me and we talked about a bunch of stuff to expect at school that she was nervous about.  She was still sad she wasn't in class with her friend, but was feeling good at drop off (that we ran too, but were at least on time for--damn you 30 minute earlier start time!)

Spoke with the friends dad and she was doing fine this morning too.  *phew*  I though E was going to be my easy kid come school.  Someday I will learn that my expectations are going to be the death of me.  

B started school this week too. Friday was a shit show as we left the daycare she's been at since she was 3 months old. Like, she barricaded the doors with her body and refused to let anyone in or out level shit-show, lol. 

Over the weekend she decided that putting pink and purple streaks in her hair would give her extra confidence at her new school, so we did that. 

Monday was "orientation/meet the teacher/supplies drop off" where she met a couple kids and saw her class. She's the new kid, so that's hard. I found one kid in her class who was also going to her before care program and made sure to introduce them so she would have a friendly face. 

Tuesday I dropped her at before care and found that kid and was like "Oh great, your classmate Jemma is here - Jemma can B sit with you?" I had a lot of feelings and anxiety all day, but when she got home and told us about her day it was like: 
1) Mom dropped me at before care 
2) I went to the bathroom 
3) The bus came and we went to school 
4) ? 
5) Pizza for lunch 
6) ? 
7) Mom picked me up from aftercare!
Great day, lol! I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that. She also told me she made 3 new friends: Jemma, Lily, and The Other One Whose Name She Can't Remember But Who Is Her 3rd Best Friend. Kids, man. 

Oh--I can just see the Friday meltdown.  I bet the streaks are adorable.  E agreed to clip in pink one, but won't dye her hair--no idea how these are my kids sometimes.  

E said that yesterday was her best day ever, and recess was her best part.  She got to see her friend.  Doesn't remember the kids at her table, and said she didn't make any new friends, but could tell us everyone's name that we passed or saw walking home.  Definitely weird, but I'm glad it was good.  

She had a stomach ache this morning and dry heaved a bit, but then was bouncing around so we sent her to school.  She does that sometimes and I really think it's nerves.  Of course if she gets sent home mid day we'll know that was the wrong call.  

[steph08]

I am glad everyone's kids have been having good first days/weeks!

Harper starts pre-K next Wednesday. She will get on the bus at daycare, go for the morning (including eating breakfast and lunch there), then get off the bus at daycare.

We had her "Mock Day" on Monday - where they simulate their day for an hour (minus the eating and busing part), and there were no tears! So that's good! She has a daycare friend that will be there, as well as a kid from her t-ball team. I hope she makes some new friends! 

But she's not old enough to do this yet - she's still an itty-bitty baby!!