The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[chapeau]

And now Carrot is old enough to remember what happens if he does go off the deep end again. I don't wish that on Carrot, you, or anyone else, but the reality is that his dad has serious mental health issues and has been deemed by uninterested third parties to not be an acceptable custodial parent.

Carrot is a smart kid, and I'm guessing he looks up to his big brother to some degree. And big brother probably knows/remembers an awful lot of what happened, even if Carrot doesn't. If/when it comes down to it, what are the chances that big brother points out to Carrot that just because it looks like more fun that living with rule-following, do-your-homework, go-to-bed on time mom (who, by the way, has animals and throws really great birthday parties) doesn't mean it will actaully be more fun? Because roller coasters are lots of fun for 5 minutes but no one really wants to live on one.

[gs11rmb]

I think my point is that he's not "normal" and the courts are going to side with you and it can be framed as "the judge won't let you stay with your dad" as opposed to "I won't let you stay with your dad".  Carrot isn't stupid and as he gets older he should start to become more away of his father's instability.  That being said, I totally understand your fears that he's just going to take off when he throw his first major teenage tantrum.  You've often said that your EX has an unhealthy obsession with his son.  Do you think that might change as Carrot becomes more independent and less 'fun' to be around?

[muttleynfelix]

Hugs MPL.

[raeoflyte]

C's first day of 3rd grade and E's kindergarten assessment for classroom assignments were today.  I feel a little bad we did request a specific teacher for E.  One of them I love, and one of them should have already retired and while I think E will thrive regardless we decided to be those parents anyway.  

Our old housemates were going to drop off their youngest to walk to school with us.  Their older 2 are going to a charter.  But the timing lines up differently than they thought I guess and they asked if we could be available for her to walk home with us instead--not all the time, but when they're running late.  I feel bad about that too, but had to tell them that afternoons just don't work well for us.  We have a lot of activities (which I'm sure they remember from staying here), and that just invites a lot more time for the older girls to be here when C is and he isn't ready for that either.  I did tell them to reach out when they're in a bind and we'll help if we can.  

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2018 14:17:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I think my point is that he's not "normal" and the courts are going to side with you and it can be framed as "the judge won't let you stay with your dad" as opposed to "I won't let you stay with your dad".  Carrot isn't stupid and as he gets older he should start to become more away of his father's instability.  That being said, I totally understand your fears that he's just going to take off when he throw his first major teenage tantrum.  You've often said that your EX has an unhealthy obsession with his son.  Do you think that might change as Carrot becomes more independent and less 'fun' to be around?

I know he's not, and everyone here that has heard what went on know that, but he's been so good for the past 4 years.   If you talk to the teacher or the scout leaders he comes off as a super involved, loving parent, and he hasn't had any run-ins with the law and has now has held the same job for 4 years which is about double his norm.   This should make me happy, but really it doesn't, because I know it's still there and nobody else does.  I can see it in his eyes and how he reacts to situations sometimes.  It's often just for an instant, but it's there and I'm always just waiting for it to return full force, which is so stressful.  Courts are just going to see that he's been a model citizen and parent for years. 

As far as when Carrot becomes more independent.  I don't know.  Ex 2.0's parents used to buy him cigarettes and his mom would smoke weed with the kids when they were teens. I can see him doing shit like that. 

Yeah.  Completely stupid to have a kid with someone with this kind of parenting training, but in my defense a lot of it I didn't find out about until years later.  

It's my weekend, but I'm dropping Carrot off for a couple hours today to make up for his missed Wednesday.  I need to get the oil changed and my other son's hair cut, so he would probably enjoy hanging out there more anyhow. 

[tcu2003]

So many conflicting emotions. I’m on a plane about to head to DFW for a childhood’s friend’s bachelorette party tonight. Dropped M off at my sister’s for the day, and DH is taking C to baseball practice and a birthday party. Sis will bring M back home this evening, and I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. Logically, I know they’ll be fine, but M doesn’t sleep through the night and is still nursing. It isn’t the first time I’ve left overnight and won’t be the last, so I know she’ll be fine. I think I mostly feel guilty that I’m taking a weekend/night for me - usually I’m gone for work or for volunteer stuff. And I have guilt that DH hasn’t been gone for a guy’s trip in forever.


Anyways, thanks for the letting me brain . All will be fine. It’s only 27 hours. And I got upgraded to first class. It’s all good.

[Pants]

Aug 18, 2018 10:21:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 17, 2018 14:17:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I think my point is that he's not "normal" and the courts are going to side with you and it can be framed as "the judge won't let you stay with your dad" as opposed to "I won't let you stay with your dad".  Carrot isn't stupid and as he gets older he should start to become more away of his father's instability.  That being said, I totally understand your fears that he's just going to take off when he throw his first major teenage tantrum.  You've often said that your EX has an unhealthy obsession with his son.  Do you think that might change as Carrot becomes more independent and less 'fun' to be around?

I know he's not, and everyone here that has heard what went on know that, but he's been so good for the past 4 years.   If you talk to the teacher or the scout leaders he comes off as a super involved, loving parent, and he hasn't had any run-ins with the law and has now has held the same job for 4 years which is about double his norm.   This should make me happy, but really it doesn't, because I know it's still there and nobody else does.  I can see it in his eyes and how he reacts to situations sometimes.  It's often just for an instant, but it's there and I'm always just waiting for it to return full force, which is so stressful.  Courts are just going to see that he's been a model citizen and parent for years. 

As far as when Carrot becomes more independent.  I don't know.  Ex 2.0's parents used to buy him cigarettes and his mom would smoke weed with the kids when they were teens. I can see him doing shit like that. 

Yeah.  Completely stupid to have a kid with someone with this kind of parenting training, but in my defense a lot of it I didn't find out about until years later.  

It's my weekend, but I'm dropping Carrot off for a couple hours today to make up for his missed Wednesday.  I need to get the oil changed and my other son's hair cut, so he would probably enjoy hanging out there more anyhow. 

MPL - you were in an abusive relationship with an abuser with mental health problems, and now you have to co-parent with this person. It is neither abnormal or irrational to have these thoughts and fears. Is there anything that works for YOU to help calm these down? Like, if you obsessively document everything conversation will that help you plan for the future or make you feel worse? Is there any kind of action plan you can put in place so *if* he does X thing, you have a plan to deal with that? Is it better to proactively offer more time under your own auspices (and that you can retract) vs. letting him get a bug up his ass and take you back to court?

I don't know what you can do, but I think that right now what's happening is freaking you out and not working *for you*.

I don't know what the answer is. I'm sorry this happened and is happening now.

[TheHaitian]

Aug 15, 2018 11:11:54 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

That is great news!!!

I conquer... awesome news!!!

[TheHaitian]

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

[tcu2003]

Carl, physical activity and outside playtime help my kiddos. Play dates at the park, or playing on our backyard on our swingset/play structure. Basically, I try to wear them out. Tons of running around and being active. If the weather is bad, try the library if they have a play area, trampoline park (like Urban Air or Sky Zone if they are in your area - they have toddler time), indoor gym, etc.

[tcu2003]

Swimming is another activity that helps wear my kiddos out.

[crazycat]

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

Sorry about all that but where is the supervision ? Also , as a retired daycare owner , sounds like she needs more structured activities . Does she go to daycare or preschool ? Kid s have tons of energy and need to be engaged with physical activities , mental activities , and arts & crafts . 
It will also help her sleep much better . ( You too 😀)   Just my 2 cents 
Good luck . She sounds like a high energy , intelligent child . 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 18, 2018 12:45:28 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Swimming is another activity that helps wear my kiddos out.

Totally agree with the pool.  Swim lessons are great, but any day we go to the pool seems to be a good day for attitude, sleep, etc. 

[andi9899]

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

I love it when people who think their kid is perfect and can do no wrong get a dose of reality. Your kid's gonna do stupid shit. It's life. Stop fooling yourself.

As far as getting Carlie to go to bed earlier, wear her out! I think you have a lot of kids her age in the neighborhood. Surely another parent has the same problem and you can let them run around in the backyard or park. Let her run off all that energy.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 18, 2018 15:08:41 GMT -5 crazycat said:

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

Sorry about all that but where is the supervision ? Also , as a retired daycare owner , sounds like she needs more structured activities . Does she go to daycare or preschool ? Kid s have tons of energy and need to be engaged with physical activities , mental activities , and arts & crafts . 
It will also help her sleep much better . ( You too 😀)   Just my 2 cents 
Good luck . She sounds like a high energy , intelligent child . 

It only takes a few seconds for things to happen, and for all we know "color all over" means 1 line was drawn as she ran through the kitchen. Parents have to shower, cook dinner, mow lawns and various other things that mean sometimes someone can't be glued to a child. Parenting is different than daycare.

This thread tries to stay pretty non-judgmental because those of us actually in the parenting years with young kids know first hand that we are being judged in real life and online all the time for everything we are (or aren't) doing.  We're either too free range or too helicopter and it seems like everyone is all too willing to give you there opinion of what you're doing wrong.  Hindsight has an amazing rose colored tint to it.   

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2018 11:49:34 GMT -5 Pants said:

Aug 18, 2018 10:21:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I know he's not, and everyone here that has heard what went on know that, but he's been so good for the past 4 years.   If you talk to the teacher or the scout leaders he comes off as a super involved, loving parent, and he hasn't had any run-ins with the law and has now has held the same job for 4 years which is about double his norm.   This should make me happy, but really it doesn't, because I know it's still there and nobody else does.  I can see it in his eyes and how he reacts to situations sometimes.  It's often just for an instant, but it's there and I'm always just waiting for it to return full force, which is so stressful.  Courts are just going to see that he's been a model citizen and parent for years. 

As far as when Carrot becomes more independent.  I don't know.  Ex 2.0's parents used to buy him cigarettes and his mom would smoke weed with the kids when they were teens. I can see him doing shit like that. 

Yeah.  Completely stupid to have a kid with someone with this kind of parenting training, but in my defense a lot of it I didn't find out about until years later.  

It's my weekend, but I'm dropping Carrot off for a couple hours today to make up for his missed Wednesday.  I need to get the oil changed and my other son's hair cut, so he would probably enjoy hanging out there more anyhow. 

MPL - you were in an abusive relationship with an abuser with mental health problems, and now you have to co-parent with this person. It is neither abnormal or irrational to have these thoughts and fears. Is there anything that works for YOU to help calm these down? Like, if you obsessively document everything conversation will that help you plan for the future or make you feel worse? Is there any kind of action plan you can put in place so *if* he does X thing, you have a plan to deal with that? Is it better to proactively offer more time under your own auspices (and that you can retract) vs. letting him get a bug up his ass and take you back to court?

I don't know what you can do, but I think that right now what's happening is freaking you out and not working *for you*.

I don't know what the answer is. I'm sorry this happened and is happening now.

It's definitely not working for me.  I need to relax and stop stressing out so much, but it's hard.  I don't want to get wrapped up in the madness that was my life 5 years ago ever again, but as long as I have to interact with him, it's like the constant threat of that happening is always there.  

Today on the drive there, Carrot brought up that his cousins got to spend "way more" time with their Dad (ex's brother that lives with him), than he gets to spend with his Dad which wasn't really fair.  No surprise.  Ex will not keep these things between him and I.  He will put Carrot in the middle.  Whether it be child support or parenting time, he discusses the arrangements with our 8 year old.     Then when I went to pick him up he didn't really want to go because his Dad had ran out and bought him a new huge Lego set when he heard I was bringing him over.   He texted me later and said he just doesn't feel it's fair that he has to go so long without seeing him.  Um...HELLO.  I'm not seeing him either.  He's going to his Grandparents.  And then I'm bringing him back to town and dropping him off at his house for the weekend and then Sunday night or Monday morning he's going to my Moms for the following week!  Except for some transporting I'm not really going to see him for 12 days!   Of course, he thinks I'm just a heartless mother.  When we went to Hawaii when Carrot was 18 months old and I insisted on leaving him behind with the Grands he almost refused to go and then whined about it half the time on the trip.  

[crazycat]

Aug 18, 2018 18:39:23 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 18, 2018 15:08:41 GMT -5 crazycat said:

Sorry about all that but where is the supervision ? Also , as a retired daycare owner , sounds like she needs more structured activities . Does she go to daycare or preschool ? Kid s have tons of energy and need to be engaged with physical activities , mental activities , and arts & crafts . 
It will also help her sleep much better . ( You too 😀)   Just my 2 cents 
Good luck . She sounds like a high energy , intelligent child . 

It only takes a few seconds for things to happen, and for all we know "color all over" means 1 line was drawn as she ran through the kitchen. Parents have to shower, cook dinner, mow lawns and various other things that mean sometimes someone can't be glued to a child. Parenting is different than daycare.

This thread tries to stay pretty non-judgmental because those of us actually in the parenting years with young kids know first hand that we are being judged in real life and online all the time for everything we are (or aren't) doing.  We're either too free range or too helicopter and it seems like everyone is all too willing to give you there opinion of what you're doing wrong.  Hindsight has an amazing rose colored tint to it.   

Sorry , not trying to be judgemental . Just worried because we all know things can happen in seconds with kids . And I do know parenting is much different than daycare , I have two sons , one of who is severely ADHD . We have always tried to keep them both very active throughout the day , because as you all know , it will only benefit everyone ( parents & children ) if everyone actually gets sleep. 😀

 Again , sorry if I offended anyone , didn’t mean to . I’ve been a long time lurker on these boards and don’t post too often . But what I do get from reading about everyone  is that everyone just wants the best for their children and are working hard to make that happen . 

And what works for one , may not work for another . It is the hardest job out there but definitely worth it 

[geenamercile]

Trying to decide if we want to take the girls to the roller skate rink today.  My "slush fund" money for the month is running way low.  Part of that was school shopping and the other part is I got some birthday gifts for next month birthdays.  But friends daughter is here this weekend, and the girls would love it.  Also not sure if friend will be here next week as she may be going out to help an older family member for a few months.  Far enough where we won't see her or daughter for a bit.    

[finnime]

geenamercile, go. This time won't come again.

[finnime]

minnesotapaintlady , your posts bring back so many godawful memories of battling my abusive and explosive X. I learned that I couldn't control for his behavior by tiptoeing around his demands. In time and with the help of a good therapist I learned to speak to X pretty much only by email using simple declarative sentences. I wouldn't take the bait he put out or attempt to make him do anything. I did tell him that it was wrong to involve DS in adult decisions. With DS I reassured him that "we" had decided the schedule because that was best for him. "We" = me, myself and I. My DS was anxious and it helped him a bit to settle the earth. Our situation was different in that DS did not want to see his father especially as he got older. It unsettles kids to be burdened with conflict beyond their years. It helped DS a lot when I didn't engage with his father, and decisions about the schedule didn't change all the time. He could rely on it and on me.

ETA I think Carrot knows you are in charge and is helped by being able to rely on that. He can complain to you but you will do what is best for him no matter what.

[Lizard Queen]

My oldest never colored on stuff until #2 came along and divided our attention.

[andi9899]

I don't recall the girls ever writing on walls or cabinets. But that was a long time ago, so I may have just chosen to block it out.

[raeoflyte]

I remember as a kid cutting dozens of tiny holes in my pants one day at my grandmothers.  My mom was SOOOOOO mad, and wanted to know why I did it, and I didn't have an answer.  It was fun.  I probably only spent about 5 minutes doing it, although it could have been 15-20 minutes.  She sewed on a kitten patches over all the holes so they became my favorite pants--I still didn't do it again.  

[TheHaitian]

We are not upset about the walls, heck I think they add character to the house. Unlike my wife, I enjoy my house feeling lived in vs perfect..

Ex: I enjoy seeing my wife putting the living room (now my daughter playroom) back to “perfect” condition in the evening only for my daughter to just destroy that place the next day!

Also we made sure to buy her non-toxic washable crayons, so a little hot water and pad and boom... back to normal

As for the activities that is the thing: my mil is 69, 70 next year. She does go to the playground with Carlie and goes on walk but I don’t think enough to wear her out. My wife gets home at about 6:15-6:30 on the days I work and by then it is too late for playground or not.

Ok we need to think of things indoor that will get her tired... on days I am home I try dancing in the living room (her favorite song is the “Hot Dog” song and that thing is on repeat forever). But yeah she usually have way too much energy at the end of the day and not ready to wind down.

[alabamagal]

At 18 months, YDS climbed on the kitchen counter, put a steak knife and pot holder in the toaster oven and turned it on. I came in just as the pot holder went up in flames. Put fire out with the kitchen fire extinguisher.

He was in the kitchen alone for maybe 2 minutes, and we thought we were pretty baby proof, especially since he was kid 3.

Stuff happens.

[tcu2003]

Do you haves basement, Carl? Or a play set in your backyard (or can maybe add one)? We have a tricycle and a wheely bug (ride on toy) and a plasma car in our basement, so both kids can burn a ton of energy down there in a space where they can run around and be crazy and in general nltnworey about breaking anything.

[raeoflyte]

I think there is also a wind up period when parents get home.  Getting her more tired is always a good idea.  Every time we have problems our first thing is to limit/remove screen time and increase physical activity.  But if that isn't fixing it look at what else is happening in the routine too.  I don't remember what age we started it, but with C I could get him in bed earlier by challenging him to how many books we could read that night before bed.  

[cael]

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

I saw a $6 kids table and chairs at a yard sale driving by my parents' one time several months ago so we snagged that for him - when the crayons go off the paper it won't matter with that thing, it's in good shape but definitely well loved! I'll take $6 yard sale stuff over expensive stuff since odds are good that he'll destroy everything eventually.

Does she nap during the day, would cutting a/the nap help her at all? Probably more stimulation and activity during the day would help her. Surprisingly despite his sleep issues Ant has actually been tired enough at bedtime to go to sleep most of the last year or so, he goes down 7:30-8 most nights. I do find lots of outside time makes him tired, and swimming definitely makes him tired. After his first long (6 hours) day at daycare last week he got in the car with my mom, promptly binked himself and fell asleep immediately so that's great that he's getting so much activity and stimulation there.

Speaking of daycare, he's on his third day now and when he gets there, he gives the provider a big hug and goes about his business with all the stuff, barely acknowledges me when I leave LOL it's good though, I'm glad he isn't sad and anxious when I leave. He loves it!

Also, we're insane and took the front off his crib to make it a toddler bed last week. He is actually doing really well, he runs right into our room when he wakes up (even if it's 5am ugh, he's back to getting up super early now). Last night he got up & came in twice overnight, but he napped really late so I think his night was a bit screwed up. He did sleep in bed w/ me for 2 hours after his 4am wake up though, so that's ok. I made the mistake twice of laying in his crib with him for a little while, so now he emphatically points next to him and goes "mama!!!" expecting me to lay down with him - so that'll be stopping going forward. I'm working on clearing out the bigger bedroom to transfer him into sometime in the fall or winter, and he'll be going into a twin bed at that point so we figured we should start now.

[swamp]

Aug 18, 2018 12:33:26 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

God I love my daughter and she is making my wife eat her words about how her child will never do this.

She has colored all over our white kitchen cabinets, door and walls... and my MIL and I did not wait a second to rub it in my wife face. Including her expensive couch/chair lol!!!

She just bought her a Kids Potter Barn table/chair set and when I saw the price tag, it was better I say nothing to keep the peace.

Anyway question: how do you tire a high energy child for bedtime? My daughter has been falling asleep at 11 PM for the past few weeks now and bedtime routine starts at 7:30 PM.

We need something to tire her out where she is also looking forward to bedtime ? Indoor gym? Activities? We need something...

We are all about to crash with so little sleep, even more so my wife because she always wants mommy! Sometimes we both fall asleep and she is still wide awake in between us... or I walk in from work and my wife is asleep and here is Carlie wide awake.

Swimming.  

[MJ2.0]

Aug 19, 2018 11:30:34 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

We are not upset about the walls, heck I think they add character to the house. Unlike my wife, I enjoy my house feeling lived in vs perfect..

Ex: I enjoy seeing my wife putting the living room (now my daughter playroom) back to “perfect” condition in the evening only for my daughter to just destroy that place the next day!

Also we made sure to buy her non-toxic washable crayons, so a little hot water and pad and boom... back to normal

As for the activities that is the thing: my mil is 69, 70 next year. She does go to the playground with Carlie and goes on walk but I don’t think enough to wear her out. My wife gets home at about 6:15-6:30 on the days I work and by then it is too late for playground or not.

Ok we need to think of things indoor that will get her tired... on days I am home I try dancing in the living room (her favorite song is the “Hot Dog” song and that thing is on repeat forever). But yeah she usually have way too much energy at the end of the day and not ready to wind down.

6:30 in the summer is not too late to go to the park - there’s still daylight! But yes, physical activity is the key to getting her tired enough to sleep.