The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 14, 2018 13:41:16 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Aug 14, 2018 11:41:47 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

I think i wrote enough it cut off, but anyway, he may not be going to my parents house which would be a first.

Ben sounds a lot like my youngest, the ADHD kid. Thinking things through or why they weren't a big deal was never his strong suit. He once got off the bus with a kid we had never met and no one knew where he was. Once his older siblings got home they started looking for him and when we got home (30ish minutes later) we called the police and kept knocking on doors. We were on the verge of issuing an Amber Alert when he was finally spotted coming out of this kid's house. That stuck a little in the "don't go anywhere without telling us" category but it was exclusive to that only. 

I have no idea if that is Ben's issue or if it's the "I'm old enough to be smart about stuff and do what I want without telling you every little thing" disease they all get though.

Lots and lots of hugs though. Lots and lots....

Thanks. Ben is able to sit and read for hours or play with legos and build things for hours. He remembers facts just fine, but retention of "unimportant" forget it. That is why I have him writing this down. I'm wondering if he just is not an auditory learner. I know I have to write things down to remember, so I'm hoping that flips a switch. He has a check up Monday, so we might bring it up with doctor. A friend of mine has a Granddaughter that goes to a therapist about these type of issues and I'm open to it if it gives him coping skills. It helped last month when he was not brushing his teeth every morning that I put a card out that had that on this list and after a week he got back in the habit of doing it, but the card helped because DH doesn't nag about that stuff during the summer.

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 14, 2018 12:41:44 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Hugs, muttley. C is younger than Ben, so we’re not there yet, but I could definitely see us having similar issues based on decisions that C makes now from not thinking. Something I’ve read in the last year makes me think this is fairly common and normal for boys, but I can’t remember which book. It was likely No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel or NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.

Anyway, just wanted to send virtual hugs. Hang in there!

Thanks, I'll look at those books.

[Chocolate Lover]

Aug 14, 2018 14:55:46 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Aug 14, 2018 13:41:16 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Ben sounds a lot like my youngest, the ADHD kid. Thinking things through or why they weren't a big deal was never his strong suit. He once got off the bus with a kid we had never met and no one knew where he was. Once his older siblings got home they started looking for him and when we got home (30ish minutes later) we called the police and kept knocking on doors. We were on the verge of issuing an Amber Alert when he was finally spotted coming out of this kid's house. That stuck a little in the "don't go anywhere without telling us" category but it was exclusive to that only. 

I have no idea if that is Ben's issue or if it's the "I'm old enough to be smart about stuff and do what I want without telling you every little thing" disease they all get though.

Lots and lots of hugs though. Lots and lots....

Thanks. Ben is able to sit and read for hours or play with legos and build things for hours. He remembers facts just fine, but retention of "unimportant" forget it. That is why I have him writing this down. I'm wondering if he just is not an auditory learner. I know I have to write things down to remember, so I'm hoping that flips a switch. He has a check up Monday, so we might bring it up with doctor. A friend of mine has a Granddaughter that goes to a therapist about these type of issues and I'm open to it if it gives him coping skills. It helped last month when he was not brushing his teeth every morning that I put a card out that had that on this list and after a week he got back in the habit of doing it, but the card helped because DH doesn't nag about that stuff during the summer.

I can't remember to nag all the time myself.  Not much help with the ADHD boy, who needed and still needs a LOT of reminding. On LOTS of stuff. It's improving but feels like slow motion improvement. 

I'm sure this will be a memorable bump in the road pretty soon though. 

[debthaven]

I hope the time passes as quickly as possible for you WholeLottaNothin and that you get good news.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 14, 2018 13:44:32 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Thanks everyone. The scan went okay. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was anywhere else. I won't know results until late tomorrow or Thursday.

I'd call tomorrow afternoon. It may not be ready but then again it could be sitting around in the doctor's inbox and a call will prompt them to check it.

[gs11rmb]

Yes. Controlling what kids eat without actually being ‘controlling’ is difficult. I struggle with this as well.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

To all the experts out there who claimed kids will grow out of stuff and don't make it a battle I'd like to provide them with my 8 year old daughter who still sleeps in our bed and is down to two foods she will eat.

I don't think they'd have bestsellers if they had included her in the data.




Feel free to judge I judge myself all the damn time. I'd really like my bed back before she goes off to college.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Aug 14, 2018 19:17:52 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

To all the experts out there who claimed kids will grow out of stuff and don't make it a battle I'd like to provide them with my 8 year old daughter who still sleeps in our bed and is down to two foods she will eat.

I don't think they'd have bestsellers if they had included her in the data.




Feel free to judge I judge myself all the damn time. I'd really like my bed back before she goes off to college.

Yeah...DD#2 slept in our bed until she was six. DH kicked her out at that point. She's 16 now, and I still tell her it's his fault. 

[Deleted]

Both my kids slept in my bed until they were a year old.  The older one then transitioned out never to return a single time.  Carrot was more of a problem.  At first it was because my ex would never make him go back to his room, and actually encouraged it, then there was the really crazy separation and divorce and he was very clingy at night then, but when he was 5 or 6 I was just done with it and really put the hammer down, including locking the bedroom door.  He would yell and beat on the door.  Man we had a rough stretch for awhile.  He just turned 8 and it all seems like ages ago.  Sometimes I wish he'd wake up and come in just occasionally, but I do remember how I was out of my mind back then.  He was the worst to have in bed, he flopped around all over the place and sweated a lot and would attach himself to me.  I was losing it! 

[geenamercile]

ODD slept in our room on and off until around 8 or 9.   We would wake up and find her in our closet with pillows and a blanket.  Now she tends to sleep in her room, unless her bed is covered in clothes and then she will pass out on the couch.  Okay so we really do have a comfortable long couch.  YDD (7) still sleeps on a roll-away mattress in our room most of the time.  She will cuddle with me for about 1/2 and hour before moving there.  Last night she even said that cuddling makes the scares go away.  Drama do you have enough room in your room to put down a floor mat, or foam mattress for your DD to sleep on.  It will at least give you back the bed.   

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 14, 2018 19:17:52 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

To all the experts out there who claimed kids will grow out of stuff and don't make it a battle I'd like to provide them with my 8 year old daughter who still sleeps in our bed and is down to two foods she will eat.

I don't think they'd have bestsellers if they had included her in the data.




Feel free to judge I judge myself all the damn time. I'd really like my bed back before she goes off to college.

My 8 year old still sucks his thumb. Most of the time I just roll my eyes and tell him stop sucking his thumb.

[raeoflyte]

So many hugs Sam. Thinking of you.

[raeoflyte]

Mutt- this wont help, but we have a neighbor kid who wanders a lot. His parents used to go door knocking looking for him fairly regularly. They're definitely in the free range category and they're older boys were wild as youngsters but are really nice, polite teens now, and the youngest seems to be following the same trend. He's really a great kid and plays with C a lot. I so wanted to get him a tshirt that said, "not all who wander are lost" for his birthday.

We just got home from camping. It was fun, at least when dh and I werent fighting. I got to take out some frustration out on him in class last night which helped.

Both kids are still in my bed. I didnt expect it, but I'm not worried yet. I know too many 12-15 year olds who would crawl in bed (or at least rooms) with their parents who seem to be ok. I am scoping out craigs list for bunk beds for both kids rooms, and with school will probably have to do a staggered bed time so this could be the year they transition. Theyre pretty respectful of space and if theyre not I start the high pitched "this is bed sharing, not pillow sharing" speech which they can both finish for me now and that usually gets me my space back.

[lurkyloo]

DS sleeps in his own bed, but has been regressing to wanting/needing me in the bed with him.  Usually I can get out after he falls asleep, but last night he was working through a disappointment and holding on to me pretty tight.  I finally escaped a little after midnight, then he came to find me and bring me back.     At least he slept well...

i’m just saying, there are many ways to “screw up”.  

[Pants]

B crawls in bed with me sometimes. She knows that the deal is she's welcome as long as she doesn't wake me up by looming over me silently. Wanna crawl into bed and snuggle because you had a bad dream? Ok. Wanna stand next to me quietly whining/sobbing till I wake up screaming? HARD PASS. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Aug 14, 2018 19:17:52 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

To all the experts out there who claimed kids will grow out of stuff and don't make it a battle I'd like to provide them with my 8 year old daughter who still sleeps in our bed and is down to two foods she will eat.

I don't think they'd have bestsellers if they had included her in the data.




Feel free to judge I judge myself all the damn time. I'd really like my bed back before she goes off to college.

My DD was around 8 when she finally started staying in her own bed. Even if she started there, she would be in it by morning. She was so good at getting in there, you never knew until you woke up.

Good luck with the food issues, mine were more of the other relatives feeding them too much junk/sweets then fussing at me about her weight. 

[WholeLottaNothin]

I got a call. Everything is good.

Drama - Roggie is about to start 2nd grade. He ate the same lunch every day for Kindergarten and every day for 1st grade. One of the best parts about summer is not to have to pack that every morning. The school district provides lunch free to everyone, but no, he won't even try it.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

Drama - Roggie is about to start 2nd grade. He ate the same lunch every day for Kindergarten and every day for 1st grade. One of the best parts about summer is not to have to pack that every morning. The school district provides lunch free to everyone, but no, he won't even try it.

Mine loves school lunch go figure. Unfortunately I cannot bring myself to consider Hot Pockets a food group. I need to draw the line somewhere.

[Wisconsin Beth]

C crawls into our bed evety night. He'll be 9 in October.

That's awesome Nuttin.

[gs11rmb]

WholeLottaNothin that's wonderful news!  I'm so happy for you and now you can get a good night's sleep for the first time in days.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

That is great news!!!

[bean29]

Aug 14, 2018 19:17:52 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

To all the experts out there who claimed kids will grow out of stuff and don't make it a battle I'd like to provide them with my 8 year old daughter who still sleeps in our bed and is down to two foods she will eat.

I don't think they'd have bestsellers if they had included her in the data.




Feel free to judge I judge myself all the damn time. I'd really like my bed back before she goes off to college.

My DD slept on a chair and a half in the living center for the first four years of her life.  When she was probably a freshman/sophomore she slept on the tile floor in our basement for at least a year. I don't remember why - probably b/c she couldn't get cable in her room or something like that.

Now she says she does not have cable TV in her room, so if she is home from college, she sleeps on the sofa in the basement. I also have a guest bedroom and a bedroom her brother used to sleep in that have Queen Beds. I am not sure if there is still a TV in her brother's old room though.

And it is an age old problem.  My Mom says when she went into labor with my brother, My Dad had fallen asleep with me in my bed, because he had to lay down with me to get me to go to sleep.  My sister and I had moved to an upstairs bedroom in anticipation of the new baby arriving.  She had a really hard time waking him up! 

[bean29]

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

Drama - Roggie is about to start 2nd grade. He ate the same lunch every day for Kindergarten and every day for 1st grade. One of the best parts about summer is not to have to pack that every morning. The school district provides lunch free to everyone, but no, he won't even try it.

This was my DD. We packed her lunch every day. She will not eat cheese, and so many hot lunches have cheese. My DH always insisted they had to be fed as soon as they got home from school too, b/c the food they serve in school cafeterias is crap and who wants to eat that anyways.    One would think my kids would have weight issues, but at least not yet.

.

[Jaguar]

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

FABULOUS NEWS!

[Pants]

Aug 15, 2018 10:55:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

Drama - Roggie is about to start 2nd grade. He ate the same lunch every day for Kindergarten and every day for 1st grade. One of the best parts about summer is not to have to pack that every morning. The school district provides lunch free to everyone, but no, he won't even try it.

Mine loves school lunch go figure. Unfortunately I cannot bring myself to consider Hot Pockets a food group. I need to draw the line somewhere.

Hot pockets aren't A food group, they are ALL the food groups! 
- Dough: grain 
- Cheese: dairy
- Sausage/pepperoni: protein 
- Tomato sauce: fruit/vegetables 

It's a perfect food! 
(Note the above is satire.) 

[MJ2.0]

DS sleeps in his own bed and has for the vast majority of his life. X and I were/are adamantly against co-sleeping. There were times we had no choice (no heat, no other bed), and yes there were the times he’d get into our/my bed bc of a bad dream. In the bad dream cases, he was 9/10 times put back into his bed after he fell asleep. DS rolls around and kicks - how is anyone getting sleep with all that happening? We all sleep best when we all stay in our own beds.

[MJ2.0]

Oh, and the Y offered up the refund for the remaining weeks without me saying anything. Now let’s see how long it takes to hit my CC. If they sent it to my mom (the membership is on her acct) I’m gonna be REALLY annoyed.

[geenamercile]

MJ- Glad things worked out with the refund and DS is happy back at the other place.

Both my girls have pretty much the same thing for a packed lunch.  They will once in awhile buy at school but that isn't that often.

[steph08]

nuttin - yay!!!!!!

mj - yay for a refund without having to fight!

My kids have never slept with us. If we are asleep when Harper gets up, she will come upstairs to cuddle, but that's it.  We have slept on an air mattress on her floor when she was sick, though.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2018 10:55:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 15, 2018 10:44:59 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

I got a call. Everything is good.

Drama - Roggie is about to start 2nd grade. He ate the same lunch every day for Kindergarten and every day for 1st grade. One of the best parts about summer is not to have to pack that every morning. The school district provides lunch free to everyone, but no, he won't even try it.

Mine loves school lunch go figure. Unfortunately I cannot bring myself to consider Hot Pockets a food group. I need to draw the line somewhere.

She only eats two foods, but loves school lunch?  My picky eater HATED school lunch.  I started making him pack his own in 3rd grade because I was just done with the lunches deal.  Then I had another kid and had to start over. 

Carrot loves hot lunch, so I happily buy it for him rather than packing lunches.  Just hate that for some reason.