The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[Sam_2.0]

Hugs, drama. That's a lot to deal with! Of course it will all be fine eventually, but that doesn't mean this part doesn't suck. Sorry, friend. I hope it all settles soon ♡

Nuttin - thinking of you ♡

[Pants]

Hugs to Drama, Lost 2 Water and Nuttin today. Was thinking about all of you today and sending you good wishes.

[TheHaitian]

I think 18 months old is my new favorite!!!!

She is picking up more words every day now (still bossy like her mama) and is more in tune with everything going around her!

Basically I loved my daughter at every stage but now I am really digging spending time with her. We can color with each other (which is our favorite thing to do together), go on walks and listen to her bable and talk about her Minnie (Disney is in our future, my daughter is in LOVE with Minnie (her favorite character from the Mickey Club House). She has 4 Minnie’s and she drags them around all day, kisses them, hugs them, will not go to bed or out without at least one Minnie.

We took her to the fair yesterday and she enjoyed the 3 rides she could actually get one (we did a few twice)... and actually did not one to come off some.

She can tell me what she wants or point at it or basically get it herself : water, juice, paci*... but most importantly she is just delightful.

We are taking her to see an allergist next week to calm her mama down but besides that she is good. We had stopped the play dates since the rashes but hoping to get back to setting them up again before leaving for UK.

[andi9899]

Aug 13, 2018 19:03:49 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

New jobs are stressful and if it's any consolation, Ive told my kids they were being assholes before too. Nothing I'm proud of either, but it was true!

Add me to the list of parents calling their kids assholes. Your MIL can get over it. I'm sure she's probably done the same thing. Or worse.

[steph08]

The age from like 12 until 22 months is why we have a second child. And why I had 2 under 2.

I don't know how people go through 2, 3, 4, and then purposefully choose to do that again!

Chloe is lucky she was born wheb she was.



She is in that delightful age where she gets super frustrated at not being able to communicate her emotions, etc. and has now started hitting and pulling my hair sometimes when she tantrums when she is overtired.

Harper never did this crap!

[Sam_2.0]

Although I relish those newborn snuggles, I am really excited as the kids get older and become more independent. T is starting to talk and I love it! He makes us all giggle with his silliness. And J is so damn smart. He's not yet 4. But he loves all things engineering and math and told me yesterday that 4 tens is 40. Lol! Aly is rough with her attitude and girl stuff I struggle to handle at times, but OMG, I love that silly kid. Her funny personality. The way she LOVES science and math, and pink sparkly things, all together.

Every stage has the things that are frustrating or difficult. And it also is full of new discoveries and finding out who they are as individuals. The good times far outweigh the bad for pretty much every parent I have ever met. And those are what get us through the frustrating times ♡

[andi9899]

Aug 13, 2018 19:31:28 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Aug 13, 2018 19:07:09 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Hugs Sam. I can't imagine having to walk by that classroom today.

Hugs drama. Who cares if someone dislikes you? Do you have to work with this person a lot? In close proximity? If not, just be nice and helpful and hope to change his mind. Maybe you remind him of someone, maybe he has an ex with your name, maybe he sees you as competition, etc.

Hugs nuttin, good luck with the MRI tomorrow.

I don't really I was just taken aback at the rudeness. It doesn't cost much to be courteous to someone.

I know why she dislikes me. My very first day she went on a rant about how they need to stop hiring people because there is now too much competition. There were also many remarks about how I "already know all this". There must have been talk before I arrived. While it is not clinical I outstrip her in working knowledge of just about every process in the lab despite her being one of the longest trainees.

I know she's nothing.

It was just one more thing on top of it all. Change is not easy for me to begin with. Her and MIL managed to push me over not that I'm going to let either one smell weakness.




I'm also at my wits end over my antidepressant. I'm calling again tomorrow and complaining. You'd think a patient calling you nearly in tears because she has pain and numbness in her extremities and face would be a priority but apparently I was wrong.

If I don't get a call tomorrow I'm going to talk to my pharmacist about how to wean off this shit and going solo.

I know it's easier said than done, but try and take the fact that you have her scared as a compliment. When one is afraid of competition it's usually because they aren't as good as the others they're competing against. Just kick ass at your job and let her flail.

[tcu2003]

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2018 21:48:58 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

Carrot had it until he was about 6.  He'd get it on the back of his legs behind his knees the most.  I did get the prescription steroid cream, but we only used one tube in the 2 or 3 years he suffered from it.  I'd treat it for a day or two with that and it would clear it right up.  Between break outs we used Aveeno Eczema lotion and that worked pretty well.

[tcu2003]

Aug 13, 2018 21:53:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 13, 2018 21:48:58 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

Carrot had it until he was about 6.  He'd get it on the back of his legs behind his knees the most.  I did get the prescription steroid cream, but we only used one tube in the 2 or 3 years he suffered from it.  I'd treat it for a day or two with that and it would clear it right up.  Between break outs we used Aveeno Eczema lotion and that worked pretty well.

Thanks! Did you just treat the affected areas with the Aveeno Eczema lotion? When you used the steroid cream, did it completely go away and his skin back to normal, or still a little dry and scaly?

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2018 22:54:51 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Aug 13, 2018 21:53:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Carrot had it until he was about 6.  He'd get it on the back of his legs behind his knees the most.  I did get the prescription steroid cream, but we only used one tube in the 2 or 3 years he suffered from it.  I'd treat it for a day or two with that and it would clear it right up.  Between break outs we used Aveeno Eczema lotion and that worked pretty well.

Thanks! Did you just treat the affected areas with the Aveeno Eczema lotion? When you used the steroid cream, did it completely go away and his skin back to normal, or still a little dry and scaly?

His skin would go completely back to normal with the steroid cream. You couldn't tell he had any issue at all.  I sometimes used Cortisone 10 and that helped too, but it burns.  I think the prescription steroid cream did too, but not nearly as bad.  The Aveeno I would just use like regular lotion and put it on his arms and legs focusing on behind the knees and in the crook of his arms where he would break out. 

[finnime]

Best wishes for today, WholeLottaNothin.

[steph08]

Aug 13, 2018 21:48:58 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

I second minnesotapaintlady's recommendation of Aveeno Eczema. It is what has helped the most with Harper. 

We also have a steroid cream from the doctor (desonide, I believe). We rarely use it anymore, but when her eczema was really bad and we used the cream, it cleared up in like a week. It was fast - so no long-term use necessary. 

What has also helped is reducing baths - too much water/soap makes it flare up. Also, we are sure to put the Aveeno on right after swimming as well, because the chlorine also makes it flare up. 

[andi9899]

Aug 13, 2018 21:48:58 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

Thing 1 has it. We used the steroid cream for flare ups and cortisone mostly any other time. That and make sure you use Dove soap and get some moisturizing lotion. I like Eucerine Calming Cream, but I know others like Cetaphil and other kinds.

[zibazinski]

DD had it. Turns out she had an egg allergy. She outgrew that finally but now watches her gluten and that seems to do it.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Dh took the kids to the dentist today. No cavaties! Woohoo.

[justme]

Sometimes you can moisturize eczema away. But not sure it would work as a kid, as an adult when it breaks out on my hands in the winter I moisturize unless it's driving me up a wall. I use a steroid cream from my derm, but you could see if a cortisone otc cream helps.

There's a new non steroid drug that I haven't tried yet, my derm gave me samples but mentioned a lot of patients didn't like it - either because it didn't work as well, they didn't like its feel on their skin, or side effects.

I have also switched out all laundry soap and bath soap for no fragrance etc etc.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

NomoreDramaQ1015, I've had those parenting moments many a time. Please don't beat yourself up about that. If your MIL thinks she's a perfect parent, she's delusional. 

Also, with the meds, I had a prescription mix-up between the pharmacy and the provider a few years ago. Went five days without a fluoxetine. Had a massive meltdown on the fifth day. It turned out it was the provider's fault, and I called them. I had to hand the phone to DH when they told me I'd never had a prescription at all. I was pretty sure everyone was trying to kill me. 


For the lotions for skin problems. When we've not had to go to steriods, I've used this one for DD#2 Lubriderm

[muttleynfelix]

Nuttin- I hope today goes well for you.

Sam - Hugs

Drama - Hugs

Carl - I loved 15 months to about 2.5 years old. That was my favorite time. But every age has its challenges and benefits. I loved how much easier vacation was this year. It was like woah, huge difference from just 2 years ago.

[muttleynfelix]

My parenting conundrum...Ben. Ugh.

What is it about the month of August that makes my son think the rules don't matter. Last year in August , we caught him in a big lie and he just kept digging it deeper and deeper. He lost his bike for 6 weeks, his tablet until Christmas, more chores, etc.

This year, every day it is something else he lies to us about (mainly sneaking food, he snuck 9 donut holes last Friday). He is devious about it - even staged a juice box so it looked Jocelyn took it, then made her take the blame for it. Then Satueday, he just left the house and biked around the neighborhood! Didnt tell us anything. I was showering and then doing Jocelyn's nails and DH was showering and Ben was in the backyard with one of the girls down the street. So we figure ok, he went to her house without asking...which happens. Not a good thing, but it happens. Jocelyn wants to ride her back down there and I notice Ben's bike is gone (but his helmet is still there). So we go to the girls house and I don't see Ben's bike. So we walk to the end of the street, then back down the next street over. No Ben. Dh gets in the car and starts driving around. He checked the school park and the other park that we sometimes walk to, no Ben. Jocelyn and I are still walking around. I ask a couple teens out riding their bikes, and they thought they had seen him an hour ago at someone's house I didn't know! But I had walked by that house and was sure I hadn't seen his bike. We start heading that way and DH drives by to tell us that he found him at a friend's house on Surrey Street (The next street over is Cambridge and then Surrey tees into Cambridge about 3 houses down from where we cut between the houses, the friends live about a half block down!). He has NEVER been allowed to bike without us anywhere but on our street. But somehow he has the balls to just wander all over the place. This is after lying to us all week.

I'm so glad we found him, but I'm at my witts end. Losing the bike and tablet don't phase him or at least it doesn't sticwith him long term , so we decided he has to pay us for approximately every minute we looked for him. He still gets his allowance every week, and still gets to keep the savings portion and put the portion in the offering at church, but his $1 of spending money he has to give back to us every week until he has paid us $20. So every week I hope he is reminded of why he doesn't get to keep his spending money.

Then on Sunday at church before the last song ends, he just up and walks out! I thought he was just hanging up his activity bag, but no, I go into the fellowship area and he is eating a snack! I was like what are you doing! I talked to him for 5 minutes and told him that he couldn't have any more snacks and had to stand at my side or his dad's side until we got home. The rest of the day, he was limited in What could do, but did ok.

Then yesterday, DH let him go to the next door neighbors house (I have no idea why, I wouldn't have). Ben didn't come home when he was suppose to. So, Jocelyn went over to get him and the dad says Ben left an hour earlier. Ben then showed up, he had been at the house next door (new neighbors that we don't know).

He doesn't think. He doesn't do most things maliciously, but he only thinks about what he is doing next. I'm trying to get him to think. So these next 2 days he has 3 questions to try to open up his brain. Yesterday, he had even forgotten about Saturday. He just puts it out of his mind. Anyway, both kids were supposed to go my parents house this weekend, but right now Ben has to prove to us that he is thinking and understanding about his actions. It is frustrating.
So, he is grounded to his room at least until Thursday morning. I have h

[muttleynfelix]

I think i wrote enough it cut off, but anyway, he may not be going to my parents house which would be a first.

[zibazinski]

Aug 14, 2018 11:38:10 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

My parenting conundrum...Ben. Ugh.

What is it about the month of August that makes my son think the rules don't matter. Last year in August , we caught him in a big lie and he just kept digging it deeper and deeper. He lost his bike for 6 weeks, his tablet until Christmas, more chores, etc.

This year, every day it is something else he lies to us about (mainly sneaking food, he snuck 9 donut holes last Friday). He is devious about it - even staged a juice box so it looked Jocelyn took it, then made her take the blame for it. Then Satueday, he just left the house and biked around the neighborhood! Didnt tell us anything. I was showering and then doing Jocelyn's nails and DH was showering and Ben was in the backyard with one of the girls down the street. So we figure ok, he went to her house without asking...which happens. Not a good thing, but it happens. Jocelyn wants to ride her back down there and I notice Ben's bike is gone (but his helmet is still there). So we go to the girls house and I don't see Ben's bike. So we walk to the end of the street, then back down the next street over. No Ben. Dh gets in the car and starts driving around. He checked the school park and the other park that we sometimes walk to, no Ben. Jocelyn and I are still walking around. I ask a couple teens out riding their bikes, and they thought they had seen him an hour ago at someone's house I didn't know! But I had walked by that house and was sure I hadn't seen his bike. We start heading that way and DH drives by to tell us that he found him at a friend's house on Surrey Street (The next street over is Cambridge and then Surrey tees into Cambridge about 3 houses down from where we cut between the houses, the friends live about a half block down!). He has NEVER been allowed to bike without us anywhere but on our street. But somehow he has the balls to just wander all over the place. This is after lying to us all week.

I'm so glad we found him, but I'm at my witts end. Losing the bike and tablet don't phase him or at least it doesn't sticwith him long term , so we decided he has to pay us for approximately every minute we looked for him. He still gets his allowance every week, and still gets to keep the savings portion and put the portion in the offering at church, but his $1 of spending money he has to give back to us every week until he has paid us $20. So every week I hope he is reminded of why he doesn't get to keep his spending money.

Then on Sunday at church before the last song ends, he just up and walks out! I thought he was just hanging up his activity bag, but no, I go into the fellowship area and he is eating a snack! I was like what are you doing! I talked to him for 5 minutes and told him that he couldn't have any more snacks and had to stand at my side or his dad's side until we got home. The rest of the day, he was limited in What could do, but did ok.

Then yesterday, DH let him go to the next door neighbors house (I have no idea why, I wouldn't have). Ben didn't come home when he was suppose to. So, Jocelyn went over to get him and the dad says Ben left an hour earlier. Ben then showed up, he had been at the house next door (new neighbors that we don't know).

He doesn't think. He doesn't do most things maliciously, but he only thinks about what he is doing next. I'm trying to get him to think. So these next 2 days he has 3 questions to try to open up his brain. Yesterday, he had even forgotten about Saturday. He just puts it out of his mind. Anyway, both kids were supposed to go my parents house this weekend, but right now Ben has to prove to us that he is thinking and understanding about his actions. It is frustrating.
So, he is grounded to his room at least until Thursday morning. I have h

Something sure seems to be going on.

[tcu2003]

Hugs, muttley. C is younger than Ben, so we’re not there yet, but I could definitely see us having similar issues based on decisions that C makes now from not thinking. Something I’ve read in the last year makes me think this is fairly common and normal for boys, but I can’t remember which book. It was likely No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel or NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.

Anyway, just wanted to send virtual hugs. Hang in there!

[Chocolate Lover]

Aug 14, 2018 8:19:08 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 13, 2018 21:48:58 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone deal with eczema in their kiddos (or themselves) and have any suggestions? I think that is what C has, but I don’t know what caused it or how to not have to treat it with the trip of Lotrimin, Neosporin, and a steroid prescription cream suggested by his pediatrician. It’s on both ankles, and it itches, so he scratches and picks at. If we don’t get it taped up enough, or forget to bandage/wrap it, then it’ll eventually start to bleed (usually just the left, because he messes with that one the most) because he scratches at it too much. I don’t love the idea of using a long term steroid. He has never had any skin issues until this, which started sometime in the spring.

Thing 1 has it. We used the steroid cream for flare ups and cortisone mostly any other time. That and make sure you use Dove soap and get some moisturizing lotion. I like Eucerine Calming Cream, but I know others like Cetaphil and other kinds.

I always use Dove bar soap, not the body wash. DS had it and I haven't had a flare in years but I recall how miserable I was. Baths every other day, more lukewarm than hot (I still fail at that), the Eucerin calming cream, oatmeal baths, the steroid cream; I've used all of that at various times. Moisturizing also helps. I haven't worn shorts in 20 years unless I'm going to the beach. Behind my knees was always the worst, I still remember the case that inspired wearing pants forever. <<shudder>>

[Chocolate Lover]

Aug 14, 2018 11:41:47 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

I think i wrote enough it cut off, but anyway, he may not be going to my parents house which would be a first.

Ben sounds a lot like my youngest, the ADHD kid. Thinking things through or why they weren't a big deal was never his strong suit. He once got off the bus with a kid we had never met and no one knew where he was. Once his older siblings got home they started looking for him and when we got home (30ish minutes later) we called the police and kept knocking on doors. We were on the verge of issuing an Amber Alert when he was finally spotted coming out of this kid's house. That stuck a little in the "don't go anywhere without telling us" category but it was exclusive to that only. 

I have no idea if that is Ben's issue or if it's the "I'm old enough to be smart about stuff and do what I want without telling you every little thing" disease they all get though.

Lots and lots of hugs though. Lots and lots....

[WholeLottaNothin]

Thanks everyone. The scan went okay. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was anywhere else. I won't know results until late tomorrow or Thursday.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Aug 14, 2018 13:44:32 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Thanks everyone. The scan went okay. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was anywhere else. I won't know results until late tomorrow or Thursday.

I'm hoping you get the results you want tomorrow.

[tcu2003]

Aug 14, 2018 13:48:04 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Aug 14, 2018 13:44:32 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Thanks everyone. The scan went okay. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was anywhere else. I won't know results until late tomorrow or Thursday.

I'm hoping you get the results you want tomorrow.

Ditto. Thinking about you.

[gs11rmb]

Aug 14, 2018 13:41:16 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Aug 14, 2018 11:41:47 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

I think i wrote enough it cut off, but anyway, he may not be going to my parents house which would be a first.

Ben sounds a lot like my youngest, the ADHD kid. Thinking things through or why they weren't a big deal was never his strong suit. He once got off the bus with a kid we had never met and no one knew where he was. Once his older siblings got home they started looking for him and when we got home (30ish minutes later) we called the police and kept knocking on doors. We were on the verge of issuing an Amber Alert when he was finally spotted coming out of this kid's house. That stuck a little in the "don't go anywhere without telling us" category but it was exclusive to that only. 

I have no idea if that is Ben's issue or if it's the "I'm old enough to be smart about stuff and do what I want without telling you every little thing" disease they all get though.

Lots and lots of hugs though. Lots and lots....

We're going through this right now with our 10 year old daughter.  She actually said about her Dad "he's not the boss of me, I make my own decisions"!  Ummmm..... no!

It does sound like a normal developmental stage but the sneaking food is perhaps a little concerning.  Now, to be absolutely clear, I do not mean this next question as a criticism:  do you try and restrict the foods he eats?

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 14, 2018 14:17:48 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Aug 14, 2018 13:41:16 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Ben sounds a lot like my youngest, the ADHD kid. Thinking things through or why they weren't a big deal was never his strong suit. He once got off the bus with a kid we had never met and no one knew where he was. Once his older siblings got home they started looking for him and when we got home (30ish minutes later) we called the police and kept knocking on doors. We were on the verge of issuing an Amber Alert when he was finally spotted coming out of this kid's house. That stuck a little in the "don't go anywhere without telling us" category but it was exclusive to that only. 

I have no idea if that is Ben's issue or if it's the "I'm old enough to be smart about stuff and do what I want without telling you every little thing" disease they all get though.

Lots and lots of hugs though. Lots and lots....

We're going through this right now with our 10 year old daughter.  She actually said about her Dad "he's not the boss of me, I make my own decisions"!  Ummmm..... no!

It does sound like a normal developmental stage but the sneaking food is perhaps a little concerning.  Now, to be absolutely clear, I do not mean this next question as a criticism:  do you try and restrict the foods he eats?

No and yes. He can have anything he wants, just not everything he wants and may be not exactly when he wants it. He's skinny (no surprise as DH and I were both skinny kids). So, we are just trying to install good eating habits. The juice box, if had asked we probably would have said yes. The donuts...probably not as he'd had 3 that morning and it was time to move on to healthier options. The brownies, depending on when he asked, he might have gotten one. He can't eat chips out of a bag. He isn't going to get a big snack within an hour of supper. Things like that. I take it more of he wants what he wants and want a to be his own boss. He doesn't want to have to ask.