The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[Pants]

Jul 26, 2018 13:55:13 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Jul 26, 2018 13:31:42 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

This generation of kids is no different than any other has been since the dawn of time. Its just that parenting amnesia sets in once you get more removed from it

Not real sure what that's supposed to mean. Last I checked, I'm still a parent. Or might you be implying that I coddled my children and don't remember?

I think it's more that every generation complains about the generations in front of them. Each generation thinks the one in front of them has it too easy, is too spoiled. They want things to be the way they were when they were growing up. Your parents said the same things about you. 

ETA: I mean the generic "you" and "your parents", not necessarily you or your parents specifically.

[Lizard Queen]

My kids insert themselves into games of tag, or start them, at the playground all the time.  It's all a learning process.  My younger kid is easily upset if he doesn't win, too, but he's learning to get over it, go do something else, most of the time.  (If he's tired, he gets inconsolable.)  Sometimes I leave him be, sometimes I try to help out, but there's no easy way out of it with this kid.  He'll learn as he matures. He has with it already from one year of T-ball to the next, though he still has a ways to go.

[Sam_2.0]

Jul 26, 2018 13:55:13 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Jul 26, 2018 13:31:42 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

This generation of kids is no different than any other has been since the dawn of time. Its just that parenting amnesia sets in once you get more removed from it

Not real sure what that's supposed to mean. Last I checked, I'm still a parent. Or might you be implying that I coddled my children and don't remember?

Not saying anything about you specifically. Everyone gripes about kids. I heard my grandparents gripe about us when we were younger. Now people bitch about our kids. Little kids are the same as they have always been, but as time goes on you tend to forget just how much of an asshole those kids can be Until you are met with a brazen reminder at Target or somewhere else. Its a normal part of life and probably why the human race continues on. We all gloss over the bad stuff. Same way people pine after the "good old days."

[andi9899]

Jul 26, 2018 14:00:41 GMT -5 Pants said:

Jul 26, 2018 13:55:13 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Not real sure what that's supposed to mean. Last I checked, I'm still a parent. Or might you be implying that I coddled my children and don't remember?

I think it's more that every generation complains about the generations in front of them. Each generation thinks the one in front of them has it too easy, is too spoiled. They want things to be the way they were when they were growing up. Your parents said the same things about you. 

ETA: I mean the generic "you" and "your parents", not necessarily you or your parents specifically.

I get it. Sometimes it just takes me a while. I'm horrible at reading between the lines.

Sorry, Sam. I misunderstood.

[Lizard Queen]

My parents were very much on the older end of the spectrum, as am I, so my parenting experience spans more generations than most. Parenting has definitely gone to much more coddling on average. I don't think kids behave worse, though. I actually think they act better, on average. I think that makes expectations of children higher.

[Sam_2.0]

Its all good, Andi





OMG, this girl two cubes over sounds like she's dying. She has a hacking cough that just makes me cringe. But part of me kind of wants to catch it so that I can get some time off I need a break. Going to Dallas in a couple weeks to see my brother & his new place so that should be fun!

[Sam_2.0]

Oh, I signed Aly and I up for the Diva dash on Sunday. That should be interesting

[Pants]

Jul 26, 2018 14:33:19 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Its all good, Andi





OMG, this girl two cubes over sounds like she's dying. She has a hacking cough that just makes me cringe. But part of me kind of wants to catch it so that I can get some time off I need a break. Going to Dallas in a couple weeks to see my brother & his new place so that should be fun!

Honey - getting that sick isn't gonna get you the time that you need. Trust me. I've been sick all year and I'm just plain WORN OUT. So I keep getting sick. 

Just FAKE being sick instead. Much easier, much more enjoyable. 

[chen35]

And much easier to fake when she's already there coughing all over everyone. "I must have come down with whatever Felicia has." 

No one will question.

[andi9899]

Jul 26, 2018 14:36:17 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Oh, I signed Aly and I up for the Diva dash on Sunday. That should be interesting

Good luck. Hopefully the rain holds out. Let us know how it went.

[Sam_2.0]

Pants - hope you are starting to feel better! FB told me today that it's our "friendiversary" Just sad there were no pics of us hanging out IRL to go along with that vid.

[raeoflyte]

I wouldn't intervene in the moment, but after a meltdown I'd try to brainstorm ways to prevent that from happening again with them.  Then the next time a similar situation comes up bring up -- hey, this seems like a good time to try that idea you had.  It seems like the kids feel a little more in control then.  

We have the sibling rivalry thing going almost constantly.  Sometimes in a good way, and other times in a sky is falling kind of way so I feel like a record on repeat with the conversations about how there is always someone better than you.  So remember how that feels and be kind when you're better than someone else.  

[cktc]

I can't remember who all had kids struggling with car sickness. These glasses look pretty interesting.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

We picked up the mail on our way back from errands, and the analysis of DD#2’s most recent SAT scores were there.

First she was upset because she didn’t think she’d ordered the analysis.
Then she was upset because now her day has been upended. She has to go through every.single.answer right.very.now.
What ever she’d thought about doing today is a distance memory.
There’s been a lot of shrieking during those parts.
Then, she reduced to normal talking while she told me about her reading/writing results.

Well, now she just won’t talk to me. Shes on the math results. Shes lost In her own little world. She’s searching Kahn Academy and putting formulas into her pink graphic calculator. And muttering “I hate math.” And face palming a lot. And telling the SAT people that they’re whacked.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jul 26, 2018 23:25:00 GMT -5 cktc said:

I can't remember who all had kids struggling with car sickness. These glasses look pretty interesting.

Holy crap. They look ridiculous, but if they work that’s a game changer for me!

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

She’s talking to the computer screen.
She just gave the screen a thumbs up.


My kid is so weird.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Back to yelling. At the computer this time. More face palming.

[Chocolate Lover]

Jul 27, 2018 13:59:02 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

She’s talking to the computer screen.
She just gave the screen a thumbs up.


My kid is so weird.

You don't do that?! 


You're weird. 

[zibazinski]

Jul 27, 2018 14:11:39 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Back to yelling. At the computer this time. More face palming.

DH used to yell at the tv. It made me laugh, quietly.

[geenamercile]

Getting ready to take YDD to a birthday party at 2.  Haven't seen ODD yet today... 

[geenamercile]

So ODD case manger for her 504 moved to another school.  So now I am trying to set up a meeting before school starts to go over her 504.   I know today is the first day back for new teachers in my country and the rest don't come back till Wednesday so I am trying to have some patience here.  Also need to talk to guidance about seeing if we can get a friend of hers in the same homeroom.  It may help, the other girls mom and I talked about it.  It is the friend that lives a few houses down and they have been friends since they were 3.  It is a bit of an odd/PITA request so we will see. 

[raeoflyte]

Good luck Geena!  Hopefully they'll put her in homeroom with her friend.  I tell dh all the time not to borrow problems, but a part of me dreads middle school.  

C and I watched Big Hero 6 this weekend and C wants to do all the science and math he can get his hands on to get into nerd school now.  I hope that lasts. 

My dad practices some golf with the kids in the back yard with wiffle balls and takes them on some of the putting greens.  My parents started taking C to play a full game of golf once a week which he's loving and he's been so gracious about.  Always neat to see those glimpses because they seem so fleeting at times.  They were paired up with another dad and son for one game, and the other dad told my parents that C really knew had to listen.         (They'll take E once she's older I'm sure.  My mom is the one who started with the idea that boys AND girls have to learn to play golf and tennis because it is so important for their careers).   

E on the other hand is having melt downs left and right.  Anytime she doesn't get her way.  Last night complete with full on screaming and stomping.  I'm hoping it doesn't last long, especially with school starting in just a couple weeks.  

[bean29]

Jul 26, 2018 14:24:08 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

My parents were very much on the older end of the spectrum, as am I, so my parenting experience spans more generations than most. Parenting has definitely gone to much more coddling on average. I don't think kids behave worse, though. I actually think they act better, on average. I think that makes expectations of children higher.

I don’t agree. Kids in stores behave very badly and their parents don’t correct them at all. My DD always says when they went shopping with grandma, grandma always told them if they broke anything or got in trouble, she would leave them it the store and call their Dad to come and get them. This was a consequence that they feared, so they behaved. If you are not afraid your parents will discipline you in any way, what is your motivation to behave?

[bean29]

Jul 27, 2018 13:35:55 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

We picked up the mail on our way back from errands, and the analysis of DD#2’s most recent SAT scores were there.

First she was upset because she didn’t think she’d ordered the analysis.
Then she was upset because now her day has been upended. She has to go through every.single.answer right.very.now.
What ever she’d thought about doing today is a distance memory.
There’s been a lot of shrieking during those parts.
Then, she reduced to normal talking while she told me about her reading/writing results.

Well, now she just won’t talk to me. Shes on the math results. Shes lost In her own little world. She’s searching Kahn Academy and putting formulas into her pink graphic calculator. And muttering “I hate math.” And face palming a lot. And telling the SAT people that they’re whacked.

Your daughter will go far in life, on the other hand I bet my kids never tried to figure out why they got questions wrong on the ACT

[raeoflyte]

Jul 30, 2018 10:56:40 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Jul 26, 2018 14:24:08 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

My parents were very much on the older end of the spectrum, as am I, so my parenting experience spans more generations than most. Parenting has definitely gone to much more coddling on average. I don't think kids behave worse, though. I actually think they act better, on average. I think that makes expectations of children higher.

I don’t agree. Kids in stores behave very badly and their parents don’t correct them at all. My DD always says when they went shopping with grandma, grandma always told them if they broke anything or got in trouble, she would leave them it the store and call their Dad to come and get them. This was a consequence that they feared, so they behaved. If you are not afraid your parents will discipline you in any way, what is your motivation to behave?

As an outsider you're not going to see 99% of the corrections that parents are making.  Unless I'm screaming at or hitting my kids (which are the corrections that most of the "kids these days" comments seem to be looking for) you will never know if they've lost screen time, or had to do extra chores, or help clean up a mess at the store.  You see me leave a store with a crying child and assume (general) I'm not doing anything to raise my kid, when in reality the correction is already in process.  Maybe in leaving the store.  Maybe in staying at the store (yes I know it's torture--for you, for me, and for the child), and likely a lot more talks and consequences and loss of privileges to come.  

Even in your example, it's a threat to keep the kids in line.  It isn't one that she was likely to act on, and not one that a bystander would know was happening.  

[chen35]

I don't know, I rarely see kids behaving atrociously anywhere. I have a hard time believing there are millions of kids running amok because they aren't getting any discipline. Just because discipline looks differently today than it did 30 years ago doesn't mean it isn't happening.

[crazycat]

I see kids behaving badly every day . I work in retail . The parents are frequently ignoring the kids bad behaviors and if we say something to them ( don’t play with the merchandise , please don’t run in the store , etc , ) then the parents tell the kids - see , now your in trouble with “the lady “ . Using us as the bad guy , not just expecting their kids to behave . 


I do do think it is the parents fault however , not the kids . These kids need their parents to parent not be their friend . 

And no I’m not trying to bash parents , I have worked with kids for many years , as a preschool teacher , daycare owner, etc . Kids will behave if they know the rules and know what’s expected of them . 

Thats just my 2 cents anyway 

[Lizard Queen]

Jul 30, 2018 10:56:40 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Jul 26, 2018 14:24:08 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

My parents were very much on the older end of the spectrum, as am I, so my parenting experience spans more generations than most. Parenting has definitely gone to much more coddling on average. I don't think kids behave worse, though. I actually think they act better, on average. I think that makes expectations of children higher.

I don’t agree. Kids in stores behave very badly and their parents don’t correct them at all. My DD always says when they went shopping with grandma, grandma always told them if they broke anything or got in trouble, she would leave them it the store and call their Dad to come and get them. This was a consequence that they feared, so they behaved. If you are not afraid your parents will discipline you in any way, what is your motivation to behave?

I didn't explain my thought very well here, I was going to go back to explain better, but it seemed like the issue was dropped.  I didn't mean behavior in general, as much as being cognizant of their peers feelings.  The way the act toward each other is better, on average.  It used to be that as long as kids were polite in public and/or around adults, it didn't matter so much if they were Lord of the Flies among themselves.

[alabamagal]

Jul 30, 2018 12:02:01 GMT -5 crazycat said:

I see kids behaving badly every day . I work in retail . The parents are frequently ignoring the kids bad behaviors and if we say something to them ( don’t play with the merchandise , please don’t run in the store , etc , ) then the parents tell the kids - see , now your in trouble with “the lady “ . Using us as the bad guy , not just expecting their kids to behave . 


I do do think it is the parents fault however , not the kids . These kids need their parents to parent not be their friend . 

And no I’m not trying to bash parents , I have worked with kids for many years , as a preschool teacher , daycare owner, etc . Kids will behave if they know the rules and know what’s expected of them . 

Thats just my 2 cents anyway 

When DH had a retail business, he saw plenty of bad kid behavior. The worst was when kids would totally ignore parents, parents who tell their kids over and over “stop” and the kid continues without any consequences. It’s like the parent thinks by saying “stop” it shows they are a good parent. It doesn’t. It shows your kids do not listen to you at all. I don’t mind seeing a kid throw a temper tantrum, it happens, but seeing kids totally ignoring instructions is really bad.

[andi9899]

I work in retail and see a lot of well behaved and a lot of not well behaved children. I also see a lot of parents correcting children and a lot ignoring them or being too wrapped up in something else.

One day a very small (roughly 2 yo) child decided to liberate herself from the store. Mom was too busy looking at her phone until the guy behind her in line informed her that her baby walked outside.

I've heard children tell their parents to shut up when corrected. I've seen them hit their parents. It's crazy. I saw one kid who was at least 10 yo jumping up and down screaming like a toddler because he didn't get his way. No way would I ever have pulled that crap when I was younger, nor would my children. Just saying.