The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[Sam_2.0]

Sept 21, 2017 10:51:34 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I was thinking more along the line of Mimi. Does that scream old lady?

My sis became a "Granny" at 28 (stepD). Embrace it. Be a Granny

[Blonde Granny]

I'm Grandma or Grandma Florida (distinction between other Grandma). My DH was called Grandpa. Around here in Redneckia my neighbor is called Mee-Maw....who knew? Southerners seem to have interesting names for Grandmothers.....

I called my Grandparents on both sides Grandma+++ and Grand+++ both sides were called using their last name.

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 21, 2017 21:13:21 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 21, 2017 12:33:50 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Mimi? Did no one else watch Drew Carey? I will forever associate that name with the character on the show.

Thanks for bursting my bubble. Now you have to come up with a new name for me.

Just start wearing mumus and crazy eye shadow, and you'll be good. :-P

[azucena]

Drama not sure I'll explain this well but I'm glad you're seeking help. I think depression and anxiety probably have genetic components and so some people are pre-disposed. Pregnancy and post-partum hormone shifts along with lack of sleep can bring out the depression as can highly stressful situations. Then, at least for me, I developed coping mechanisms which were unhealthy, anger in my case because anger feels a lot more powerful than depressive sadness. And it lasted long enough that even though I am no longer depressed, I am still turning to anger to cope in an unhealthy way.

On a lighter note, we have a gma (my mom) and a granny (his mom) who wanted to be called Gram but that's the name her own MIL (DH's grandma) was going by for decades already so it didn't work.  She then wanted grammy which my first kid (her first grandkid) said as granny and I never bothered to correct because I knew it would bug her a bit - how's that for passive aggressive DIL-MIL dynamic.  But whatever.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2017 12:43:47 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'll ask the psychatrist and do some more reading but random poll do people think it's possible that PPD can re-wire your brain?  Especially if you never got treated for it?

Maybe, but also keep in mind that your life isn't the same as it was before either, we're always changing and evolving in response to life.  I don't react the same way to stressors now as I did 20 years ago before kids and bills and financial worries.  I have a lot of "pre-stress" now that didn't exist before.  Some things I've become more laid back about and others not so much. 

[andi9899]

Sept 21, 2017 23:09:09 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Sept 21, 2017 10:51:34 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I was thinking more along the line of Mimi. Does that scream old lady?

My sis became a "Granny" at 28 (stepD). Embrace it. Be a Granny

I can't! I'm too young for any of that. I wouldn't even drive a van when the kids were little because I didn't like the soccer mom look. No offense to those who drive vans, but it's not for me. I drove an SUV instead.

[Pants]

Long live the mini-van. I know it's lame AND I JUST DONT CARE ITS GOT SO MUCH SPACE AND FLEXIBILITY AND IS EASY TO DRIVE AND SAFE AND ITS A PERFECT
PLACE TO HAUL AROUND 32 HALF EATEN BAGELS AS THEY DECOMPOSE BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ANIMALS.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 22, 2017 7:56:59 GMT -5 azucena said:

Drama not sure I'll explain this well but I'm glad you're seeking help. I think depression and anxiety probably have genetic components and so some people are pre-disposed. Pregnancy and post-partum hormone shifts along with lack of sleep can bring out the depression as can highly stressful situations. Then, at least for me, I developed coping mechanisms which were unhealthy, anger in my case because anger feels a lot more powerful than depressive sadness. And it lasted long enough that even though I am no longer depressed, I am still turning to anger to cope in an unhealthy way.

On a lighter note, we have a gma (my mom) and a granny (his mom) who wanted to be called Gram but that's the name her own MIL (DH's grandma) was going by for decades already so it didn't work.  She then wanted grammy which my first kid (her first grandkid) said as granny and I never bothered to correct because I knew it would bug her a bit - how's that for passive aggressive DIL-MIL dynamic.  But whatever.

After extracting a promise from me to not punch him if I didn't like the answer DH said he honestly feels that I've always been this way, it's just in the last few years as life has become more complex and then I had some hiccups that it's gotten worse.

He's likely right.  We were chatting about statistics and I brought up that back in third grade we used to take "time tests".  We would get 60 problems and have to solve them in a very short period of time.  I could never do it.   To "motivate us to do better" the three best and three worst were hung up on the wall for all to see.  Guess who was always in the bottom three?   You would then be teased mercilessly by classmates who called you dumb.

Turns out I am not dumb, I am dyslexic.  Took me till a couple years ago before I figured that out.

I've always known that's where my lack of confidence with math has come from and my test anxiety.  Taking statistics online has done wonders for me because the only person I have to "compete" against is myself.  This is the first time ever I've had a B in a math class.

If I dug deeper I could probably find a lot more examples that go back farther than Gwen's birth.

I told Dh I am going to walk into the therapist's office and say "Guess who's getting a new boat!  You are!"

[Sam_2.0]

Sept 22, 2017 8:51:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 22, 2017 7:56:59 GMT -5 azucena said:

Drama not sure I'll explain this well but I'm glad you're seeking help. I think depression and anxiety probably have genetic components and so some people are pre-disposed. Pregnancy and post-partum hormone shifts along with lack of sleep can bring out the depression as can highly stressful situations. Then, at least for me, I developed coping mechanisms which were unhealthy, anger in my case because anger feels a lot more powerful than depressive sadness. And it lasted long enough that even though I am no longer depressed, I am still turning to anger to cope in an unhealthy way.

On a lighter note, we have a gma (my mom) and a granny (his mom) who wanted to be called Gram but that's the name her own MIL (DH's grandma) was going by for decades already so it didn't work.  She then wanted grammy which my first kid (her first grandkid) said as granny and I never bothered to correct because I knew it would bug her a bit - how's that for passive aggressive DIL-MIL dynamic.  But whatever.

After extracting a promise from me to not punch him if I didn't like the answer DH said he honestly feels that I've always been this way, it's just in the last few years as life has become more complex and then I had some hiccups that it's gotten worse.

He's likely right.  We were chatting about statistics and I brought up that back in third grade we used to take "time tests".  We would get 60 problems and have to solve them in a very short period of time.  I could never do it.   To "motivate us to do better" the three best and three worst were hung up on the wall for all to see.  Guess who was always in the bottom three?   You would then be teased mercilessly by classmates who called you dumb.

Turns out I am not dumb, I am dyslexic.  Took me till a couple years ago before I figured that out.

I've always known that's where my lack of confidence with math has come from and my test anxiety.  Taking statistics online has done wonders for me because the only person I have to "compete" against is myself.  This is the first time ever I've had a B in a math class.

If I dug deeper I could probably find a lot more examples that go back farther than Gwen's birth.

I told Dh I am going to walk into the therapist's office and say "Guess who's getting a new boat!  You are!"

Yeah, Scott is seeing us as his retirement ticket, I am sure of it Glad you have an appointment! It really is nice to hear someone say that you aren't unusual - that your patterns of dealing with things are normal, and then help you find a more healthy way to do it.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My therapist is retiring at the end of the year. I'm sad about it even though I haven't seen her in a while. I liked her and knowing she was there if I needed her. I haven't decided if I need to find someone new or not. I'm leaning towards not.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 22, 2017 8:43:29 GMT -5 Pants said:

Long live the mini-van. I know it's lame AND I JUST DONT CARE ITS GOT SO MUCH SPACE AND FLEXIBILITY AND IS EASY TO DRIVE AND SAFE AND ITS A PERFECT
PLACE TO HAUL AROUND 32 HALF EATEN BAGELS AS THEY DECOMPOSE BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ANIMALS.

We bought a minivan last weekend.  I knew I'd love it, but dh is in love with that vehicle more than the first truck that we bought at 18.  I don't know that he'll ever go back.  

[Chocolate Lover]

Grandma names in my family:
MeeMaw
MawMaw
Mimi (my mom, who is nothing like the Drew Carey version)
Momo (sounds like Moe Moe, my MIL)
Gammy
Garmy
Honey
Nana
Rena (b/c her granddaughter thought she was beautiful like a ballerina)
Bamba

No Gigi, but I've heard that one too. 

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 22, 2017 9:34:39 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 22, 2017 8:43:29 GMT -5 Pants said:

Long live the mini-van. I know it's lame AND I JUST DONT CARE ITS GOT SO MUCH SPACE AND FLEXIBILITY AND IS EASY TO DRIVE AND SAFE AND ITS A PERFECT
PLACE TO HAUL AROUND 32 HALF EATEN BAGELS AS THEY DECOMPOSE BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ANIMALS.

We bought a minivan last weekend.  I knew I'd love it, but dh is in love with that vehicle more than the first truck that we bought at 18.  I don't know that he'll ever go back.  

They're so much more useful than a truck.  You can haul shit without worrying about locking it up or covering it.  We bought bathroom vanities for a remodel and stuck them right in the back--easy peasy.  And freaking comfortable for road trips!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I used our EAP a few times after I had Gwen and she said it's valuable that I am able to identify the problem and sometimes even know the solution.  I usually need help unpacking the steps to get to the solution.

Now I can't even come up with one so I feel like I need extra help.  I explained to the therapist when she was taking notes over the phone that I already know a lot of the CBT techniques to manage anxiety but in the last couple of years my brain has said "no thank you, I like being wired to the hilt".   I need help getting my brain to shut up long enough for me to apply CBT techniques.

[Sam_2.0]

My co-worker goes by Fritz

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2017 8:43:29 GMT -5 Pants said:

Long live the mini-van. I know it's lame AND I JUST DONT CARE ITS GOT SO MUCH SPACE AND FLEXIBILITY AND IS EASY TO DRIVE AND SAFE AND ITS A PERFECT
PLACE TO HAUL AROUND 32 HALF EATEN BAGELS AS THEY DECOMPOSE BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ANIMALS.

I am going to miss my van.  It is nearing 200K miles and climbing fast, so who knows how long it will last.  Older son will be driving his own car soon and there really won't be a reason for me to get another van for just me and one kid. 

The only thing I won't miss is the gas mileage.  I might as well get a truck again after this the way that thing sucked fuel. 

[econstudent]

We had to buy a new car recently and M really really wanted a minivan. She begged. I liked the idea but alas, the dollars stretch further (newer/fewer miles) with a sedan. Plus DH drives a lot for work so better gas mileage is nice.

[WholeLottaNothin]

My sedan also holds and hauls around 32 half eaten bagels as they decompose because my children are animals too.

[swamp]

Sept 21, 2017 21:13:21 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 21, 2017 12:33:50 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Mimi? Did no one else watch Drew Carey? I will forever associate that name with the character on the show.

Thanks for bursting my bubble. Now you have to come up with a new name for me.

You'd look awesome with blue eyeshadow and a muumuu. 

[swamp]

Sept 22, 2017 8:43:29 GMT -5 Pants said:

Long live the mini-van. I know it's lame AND I JUST DONT CARE ITS GOT SO MUCH SPACE AND FLEXIBILITY AND IS EASY TO DRIVE AND SAFE AND ITS A PERFECT
PLACE TO HAUL AROUND 32 HALF EATEN BAGELS AS THEY DECOMPOSE BECAUSE MY CHILDREN ARE ANIMALS.

.

Dont forget the smelly soccer equiment, 509,332,023 empty water bottles, and 1 rotten apple core that you cannot find. 

[andi9899]

I needed a bigger car when I got the twins. There was no way I was going to drive a van, so SUV it is! I'd had my eye on the model I got for quite a while and just needed a reason to pull the trigger. I love my car. Thing 2 does also. She's excited that it will be her car whenever the one she has craps out.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 22, 2017 10:55:03 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

My sedan also holds and hauls around 32 half eaten bagels as they decompose because my children are animals too.

Mine was apparently hauling an army of goldfish crackers plotting to take over the world.   They're hideout was underneath Gwen's booster seat.

[swamp]

Mine was Cheerios.  They have been defeated by the Shop Vac. 

[tcu2003]

Another minivan lover here - and DH likes it just as much. It's amazing how much crap from Home Depot or Lowe's it'll hold (somehow including sheets of plywood??).

[azucena]

Sharing here because I haven't shared with even my closest friends in real life and have already mentioned it here...

DH got snipped today.

 We're 38 with DD9 and DD5, and I had rough pregnancies so I just knew we were done. DH may have wanted one more to try for a boy but he agreed that me being pregnant again wasn't a great idea.

Anyway, I am done being on the pill and told him it was time to do his share. He agreed but did take almost a year to schedule the appt. I knew taking his time was impt so didn't pressure. 

All that to say, oh for the love of God, men are babies.  After his initial consult, I had to hear about how the dr squeezed "my junk with his cold rubber gloved hands and it was really uncomfortable."  Um, buddy, do you know what women go thru every annual exam?!  And it was not just one conversation about it, it was multiple.  I didn't counter all of them but did say um, remember the internal sonogram that you witnessed for each of our children?  That was great fun for me.

Last night he was all - I'm going to get 2 stitches.  I didn't counter at all but thought to myself - um, C-section for your first child, way more than 2 stiches. Vbac for your second, again stitches, this time on my lady parts.

Then, he started in on I have to shave, what if I cut something down there.  And he had to run to the store to get a jock strap, when was he going to have time to do that.  Um, I pick up my pill pack every month, bought nursing bras, nursing pads, regular pads, etc.

Just now, I get a text at work that says, the numbness has worn off, and all I can think is mesh underwear for at least a week, sitting on an ice pack, and bleeding, oh the bleeding.  Throw in nursing both children and all that entails.  Like the reproductive score is 1,000,000 to 1 here buddy.

Should be a fun weekend particularly adding in the fact that we'll be fielding questions from both kiddos about why daddy is holding frozen peas to his crotch and you can't jostle him.  Our cover story is that daddy had a check-up including his private parts and that's private family news so don't go spreading it at school.  And yes sometimes check-ups hurt to keep you healthy, remember those shots you just had?  Not a great explanation but it's all the detail I'm willing to share with them.

[swamp]

All that to say, oh for the love of God, men are babies.

[Sam_2.0]

Me, pre-kids or with one kid: my children won't eat in the car. They can make it 10 minutes without needing a snack. I won't have the rolling mommy trashcan mobile.

Me, now: OMG. SHUT UP AND EAT A DAMN CRACKER!!!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I think, for dh, it helped that my male ob/gyn had said "it was awesome, I sat around and watched basketball, took some ibuprofen and was fine. Limited pain, no big deal." So dh's expectations were set.

[quince]

We did learn not to give our kids those squeezable food pouches when they are in the back.

[Pants]

Sept 22, 2017 12:26:51 GMT -5 azucena said:

Sharing here because I haven't shared with even my closest friends in real life and have already mentioned it here...

DH got snipped today.

 We're 38 with DD9 and DD5, and I had rough pregnancies so I just knew we were done. DH may have wanted one more to try for a boy but he agreed that me being pregnant again wasn't a great idea.

Anyway, I am done being on the pill and told him it was time to do his share. He agreed but did take almost a year to schedule the appt. I knew taking his time was impt so didn't pressure. 

All that to say, oh for the love of God, men are babies.  After his initial consult, I had to hear about how the dr squeezed "my junk with his cold rubber gloved hands and it was really uncomfortable."  Um, buddy, do you know what women go thru every annual exam?!  And it was not just one conversation about it, it was multiple.  I didn't counter all of them but did say um, remember the internal sonogram that you witnessed for each of our children?  That was great fun for me.

Last night he was all - I'm going to get 2 stitches.  I didn't counter at all but thought to myself - um, C-section for your first child, way more than 2 stiches. Vbac for your second, again stitches, this time on my lady parts.

Then, he started in on I have to shave, what if I cut something down there.  And he had to run to the store to get a jock strap, when was he going to have time to do that.  Um, I pick up my pill pack every month, bought nursing bras, nursing pads, regular pads, etc.

Just now, I get a text at work that says, the numbness has worn off, and all I can think is mesh underwear for at least a week, sitting on an ice pack, and bleeding, oh the bleeding.  Throw in nursing both children and all that entails.  Like the reproductive score is 1,000,000 to 1 here buddy.

Should be a fun weekend particularly adding in the fact that we'll be fielding questions from both kiddos about why daddy is holding frozen peas to his crotch and you can't jostle him.  Our cover story is that daddy had a check-up including his private parts and that's private family news so don't go spreading it at school.  And yes sometimes check-ups hurt to keep you healthy, remember those shots you just had?  Not a great explanation but it's all the detail I'm willing to share with them.

I know it's annoying to you, personally, but thank you for the laugh today!