The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[andi9899]

When I turn 40 next year, Thing 1 will be 20 and Thing 2 will be 19. How's that for feeling old.

[andi9899]

Sept 21, 2017 9:45:21 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 9:27:46 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

can you shelve it for 6 months and see how you feel then?  Adding a kid now or later will make you more exhausted, LOL!  

I'm with you on not wanting a kid at 40 though.  At 40, I figure if I have the money and I still want to, I may consider fostering.

Yeah, I'm definitely not looking to get pregnant in the next six months. Yesterday was just the first day I felt like having another was a reasonable idea.

I did talk to DH last night and he said he didn't think he could be home with two. Which I get. We'll talk again in the spring.

You want me to send the twins over so he can practice?

[raeoflyte]

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

I'm not a baby pusher but...

Who was it on the board that said it wasn't your age when you had kids that made you tired, but raising children that made you tired?  I really think that's true and yes, you are going to be tired for a very, very, very long time.  Supposedly it gets better as they get older, although I can't yet speak from experience on that.  I mean you're going to be tired whether you do, or whether you don't so....

[MJ2.0]

Sept 21, 2017 9:57:38 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

I'm not a baby pusher but...

Who was it on the board that said it wasn't your age when you had kids that made you tired, but raising children that made you tired?  I really think that's true and yes, you are going to be tired for a very, very, very long time.  Supposedly it gets better as they get older, although I can't yet speak from experience on that.  I mean you're going to be tired whether you do, or whether you don't so....

all the YESes on that one!

[cktc]

Sept 21, 2017 9:27:20 GMT -5 cael said:

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

Yeah I hear that. I was 33 when A was born and we'd probably wait until he was 3-4 to think about another, so I'd be at least 36/37 and even the thought of being that much older than I am now makes me more exhausted.

I was 32 when I had DS and I'll be 34 when this next one comes in March. I really didn't know how I was going to handle pregnancy with a baby, but I have so much more energy this time. I hope it means the new baby will be a little easier. I used to think I wanted four, then I trimmed it down to three. Now I'm wondering if two might not be perfect. We'll see.

[tcu2003]

Target sells Tula baby carriers and Ergo ones (online only, I think). I love both of those soft structured carrier brands, so maybe register for one of those?

New nipples for the bottles?

Footed sleepers? We had a bunch of hand me down clothes for M from my nieces, but somehow only one to two sleepers, so we had to buy more of those.

Baby Book?

[Lizard Queen]

Gira, do you have a highchair on the list? That's about all I can think of at the moment. My work shower was pretty much all clothes, which was ridiculous.

[chen35]

Sept 21, 2017 9:54:19 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

When I turn 40 next year, Thing 1 will be 20 and Thing 2 will be 19. How's that for feeling old.

DH's oldest is 17. When he says things like, "We could be grandparents in 5 years" I tell him that no, he could be a grandparent in 5 years. That's the one time I refuse to claim his kids as my own  

[raeoflyte]

Gira--lots of people like to buy things like diapers, wipes, and gift cards.  The cutesy baby stuff can be really fun, but they know you have 3 older kids, and a lot of people really just want to give you something that you're going to use instead of something that you'll just have to go through and donate in a couple years.   

[andi9899]

I told the girls (especially Thing 1) to please let me make it to at least 40 before they make me a grandma. I'm still trying to decide what I want to be called because grandma and abuela make me think of old ladies. I'm not old!

[Deleted]

G-ma... pronounced Gee-muh is my current fave, although I expect it to be a decade and might only ever get dog grands... 

[andi9899]

I already have a grand dog. His name is Bear. He's a cutie.

[andi9899]

I was thinking more along the line of Mimi. Does that scream old lady?

[cael]

Sept 21, 2017 10:51:34 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I was thinking more along the line of Mimi. Does that scream old lady?

Not really! That's what my mom picked, she didn't like Grandma or any of that stuff. Mimi is cute and she hopes he'll be able to say it early on too, heh.

My grandmother (on mom's side) was Mudie, pronounced moody - my mom considered that, but we decided that there could only be one true Mudie, lol.

[cktc]

My grandma was mam-ma and now we call her g-ma.

I have a friend whose daughter calls her grandmas Titi (Tee tee, not titty) and Gigi (Gee gee). First letter of their names. I think those are pretty cute.

[azucena]

Gira - I didn't see a carseat on your list which is a necessity and can make a nice group gift. Also maybe a stroller and someone else already mentioned high chair - check out the spacesaver kind if you haven't seen them.  Kinda like a booster seat and when my DD was too little to eat, we put it in the center of our table and she slept or watched us - obv, supervised and in a big table pushed against a wall.

I admire your openness about your experience and it's nice to watch the idea grow on you...spoken as a 38YO with 2 kids whose DH is getting snipped tomorrow.

[muttleynfelix]

My mom is Gigi to her grandkids (My phone auto corrected that to Hugo!! What??)

My MIL was Meemaw.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

For Gwen it's "Grandma" (my mom) and "other grandma" (MIL).  That happened because DH would always announce we were going to grandma's and she associated taht phrase with going across the street.  When we did not do so she would throw a tantrum thinking we lied.  We started saying "No no OTHER grandma!" and it stuck.

Abby calls them both "ga ga".

My mom only wants to punch me if I call her "Grandma B across the street".   That's a combination of how I referred to both my grandmas and she does not appreciate it. She's the young hip grandma thank you very much.

[andi9899]

We used to call my dad's mom either grandma Pauline or grandma Benny. Did you guys ever watch George Lopez? His mom's name was Benny and she was a mean old lady. My grandma's name was Pauline, but she was pretty feisty. I miss her.

[andi9899]

Thing 1 asked me one day what I wanted my grandchildren to call me and I said Sweet Cheeks. Of course she then put it on FB and my cousins were calling me Sweet Cheeks for a while.

[gs11rmb]

Sept 21, 2017 10:42:41 GMT -5 oped said:

G-ma... pronounced Gee-muh is my current fave, although I expect it to be a decade and might only ever get dog grands... 

In Georgia, the state version of FEMA is GEMA - pronounced Gee-muh .

[steph08]

My parents are Bubba and PawPaw. It's what Harper picked.

DH's parents are Nana and Pap.

My mom liked Mimi, but that's her sister's actual name, so that doesn't work.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My MIL's fondest wish has been for one of her grand kids to call her "mimi".  Didn't stick with a single one of them.  It wasn't until the most recent great grandchild that it finally stuck, he calls her "mimi".

She gets a kick out of "other grandma".

We also have "My uncle Bob" and "Other Uncle Bob".   Those aren't names Gwen picked, those are what we started to use because we couldn't figure out which brother she was talking about.  "My" means she's talking about my brother if she's chatting with me.  If she's chatting with DH then ""my" refers to his brother.

[alabamagal]

Sept 21, 2017 10:29:46 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 9:54:19 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

When I turn 40 next year, Thing 1 will be 20 and Thing 2 will be 19. How's that for feeling old.

DH's oldest is 17. When he says things like, "We could be grandparents in 5 years" I tell him that no, he could be a grandparent in 5 years. That's the one time I refuse to claim his kids as my own  

He could be a grandparent in 9 months

I am thankful my kids made it through that time period.  They are now 23-26 and we are not grandparents.  DD got pregnant last year (at 25) but miscarried, so I already went through the "I'm not ready yet" shock.  DD and her husband would like to try again as soon as possible.  It's not possible right now because they are in different states while he is in Army basic/advanced training.  But I expect I will be grandparent by next year.  Only problems is they will be in Germany.

[Sharon]

I am Grandma Sharon since I never married.  My Mom is Grandma Last Name.  That way we don't have two Grandma Last Names. 

My brother's wife who is step-Mom to my Brother's oldest son goes by Mimi.  That way Oldest Son's Mom could be Grandma.  They have been married since oldest son was 2 so she has been a long time step-mom.  They also work very hard to keep things harmonious etc, to the point that they should write a book on how to blend a family.

[Lizard Queen]

Mimi? Did no one else watch Drew Carey? I will forever associate that name with the character on the show.

[chen35]

Sept 21, 2017 12:31:15 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Sept 21, 2017 10:29:46 GMT -5 chen35 said:

DH's oldest is 17. When he says things like, "We could be grandparents in 5 years" I tell him that no, he could be a grandparent in 5 years. That's the one time I refuse to claim his kids as my own  

He could be a grandparent in 9 months

I am thankful my kids made it through that time period.  They are now 23-26 and we are not grandparents.  DD got pregnant last year (at 25) but miscarried, so I already went through the "I'm not ready yet" shock.  DD and her husband would like to try again as soon as possible.  It's not possible right now because they are in different states while he is in Army basic/advanced training.  But I expect I will be grandparent by next year.  Only problems is they will be in Germany.

Knowing him, I doubt it. But never say never!

ETA: Maybe I should start using minnesotapaintlady's trick of making him wear short sleeve dress shirts, to prevent that sort of thing. 

[midjd]

My mom is Nana and MIL/FIL are Grandma and Pappaw.

My soon-to-be ex-stepmother is "Mimi [Firstname]," that seemed the most appropriate name for a "grandma" who is only 4 years older than DH and me.  

[alabamagal]

Sept 21, 2017 12:34:39 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 12:31:15 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

He could be a grandparent in 9 months

I am thankful my kids made it through that time period.  They are now 23-26 and we are not grandparents.  DD got pregnant last year (at 25) but miscarried, so I already went through the "I'm not ready yet" shock.  DD and her husband would like to try again as soon as possible.  It's not possible right now because they are in different states while he is in Army basic/advanced training.  But I expect I will be grandparent by next year.  Only problems is they will be in Germany.

Knowing him, I doubt it. But never say never!

ETA: Maybe I should start using minnesotapaintlady 's trick of making him wear short sleeve dress shirts, to prevent that sort of thing. 

My kids went to a very small private school where most had known each other all their school lives.  None of them ever even dated anyone in high school.  I am thankful for that.  Much less drama.  All 3 had GF/BF within their first month away at college.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'll ask the psychatrist and do some more reading but random poll do people think it's possible that PPD can re-wire your brain?  Especially if you never got treated for it?

The reason I ask is because I got wound tighter than a 2 cent watch over something stupid yesterday, which started a fight with DH.   After the dust settled we go to talking and I happened to mention that several of my hang ups go back to when Gwen was born.



DH didn't catch it but I did.   Thinking about it last night before I got pregnant with Gwen was the last time I felt "normal".  Since I "passed" the screening I was patted on the head and told I was fine, nobody ever explained to me that it could manifest itself as an anxiety disorder.  

I've always been high strung but in general been pretty in control of myself.  I haven't been in control really for seven years.   I thought it was 2015 that made me snap but I am starting to think I never really "unsnapped".