The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[taz157]

27 kids is way too many in a PreK class. In our old state, 20 kids per 1 teacher was the maximum allowed. I think our new state has the same requirements.

[Deleted]

Holy crap that's a lot of kids for one teacher! Our pre-K/kindly is about that but with two teachers and usually an aide too.

[TheHaitian]

Sept 20, 2017 16:14:12 GMT -5 chen35 said:

This is all probably moot because the changes of DH agreeing to another kid are close to 0. 

Never said never.

I was opposed to another kid (still am) yet sometimes I find myself daydreaming that Carlie has a sibling.

[Deleted]

So 20 per class was too low enrollment ? Nutzoids.

[whoisjohngalt]

chen35 - have a baby!!!!

[econstudent]

In daycare, 4-year olds would require a 1:10 ratio. (In my state at least.) I don't understand why there is such a difference between daycare and school. If 1:20 isn't good enough in a daycare setting, how can it be when they are supposed to learn so much more?

Fwiw, M's kindergarten had 26 students with a full time aide. The teacher said that was bigger than she was happy with and that her classes are usually smaller.

[chen35]

Sept 20, 2017 20:32:33 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

chen35 - have a baby!!!!

It has been decided then! I'll let DH know

[Sam_2.0]

I say don't get the combo seats. Even unexpired, they get gross. Boosters are cheap and my kids love feeling special getting a new seat

[Pants]

Sept 20, 2017 16:03:54 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 20, 2017 15:39:16 GMT -5 Pants said:

Hormones - it comes and goes and is totally normal.

So I should not have another baby.

I didn't mean that! Just that's it's normal while your baby is little to want another one. Or not want another one. Or both, depending on the moment of the day!  

Talk with your husband, and keep talking and eventually you'll arrive at a conclusion. 

[cael]

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

[cael]

In other news, I finally gave up and decided to let A cry at bedtime again this week. Monday night he screamed for 50 minutes then slept ok for the night. Tuesday night I was sick and let him fall asleep on the couch with me, and he slept like dick all night (or didn't sleep, however you want to look at it). Last night I put him down almost asleep, and I heard him roll over and get up as the cat and I crept out of his room. He screamed for approximately 45 seconds then was snoring. He woke up around 2 and DH went in and settled him back down in his crib, and he slept until 5:45.  I'm sad about losing couch snuggles again at bedtime :/ buuuuuuut if we can get him sleeping well again it will be a beautiful thing.

He's getting so big, I'm sad about losing all the baby stuff - couch snuggling to sleep, his bedtime bottle will have to go away eventually, ugh.

[MJ2.0]

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

you don't need to rush into making a decision now.  Take the time to really think it through.

ETA: I guess when it comes to kids, I err more on the side of "no".  Not that I'm against babies/kids, it's more that it's a decision you can't undo.  You can always decide later to have a baby or adopt or foster, but you can't go "you know what, this kid is a lot of work!  Can I delete it?" 

[giramomma]

Sept 21, 2017 8:26:26 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

you don't need to rush into making a decision now.  Take the time to really think it through.

ETA: I guess when it comes to kids, I err more on the side of "no".  Not that I'm against babies/kids, it's more that it's a decision you can't undo.  You can always decide later to have a baby or adopt or foster, but you can't go "you know what, this kid is a lot of work!  Can I delete it?" 

[MJ2.0]

Sept 21, 2017 7:41:16 GMT -5 cael said:

In other news, I finally gave up and decided to let A cry at bedtime again this week. Monday night he screamed for 50 minutes then slept ok for the night. Tuesday night I was sick and let him fall asleep on the couch with me, and he slept like dick all night (or didn't sleep, however you want to look at it). Last night I put him down almost asleep, and I heard him roll over and get up as the cat and I crept out of his room. He screamed for approximately 45 seconds then was snoring. He woke up around 2 and DH went in and settled him back down in his crib, and he slept until 5:45.  I'm sad about losing couch snuggles again at bedtime :/ buuuuuuut if we can get him sleeping well again it will be a beautiful thing.

He's getting so big, I'm sad about losing all the baby stuff - couch snuggling to sleep, his bedtime bottle will have to go away eventually, ugh.

see, all this and the fact that you were happy about him sleeping until 5:45am just makes me more sure I am done with babies, lol   I'm upset that DS gets up at 6:30-6:45 every damn day, but at least he goes to bed at 8:30 and stays asleep reliably.  As much as I know DS would be an awesome big brother and I'd love for him to have a "buddy", I have realized that I am way too selfish to have another child.  I like sleep and doing things.  Plus I'm single and not rolling in dough, so not trying to be a welfare poster child.

ETA: cael - it gets better.  MUCH better.  Especially once they can tell you what's bothering them.  We used to rock DS for like 1-2 hours a night to get him to sleep and sometimes we'd fall asleep in the chair or on the floor next to him.  It worked until he eventually slept on his own.  I still sit with him until he falls asleep, except now he's in a twin bed.

[steph08]

I always said I would have one kid, but I wanted another pretty much right after Harper was born, like 3 months, definitely by 6 months.

I finally convinced DH around Harper's first birthday, and I got pregnant with Chloe on our first month trying when Harper was 14 months.

Two under two was easy when Chloe was like under four months. Then hard until she could crawl and better now that she can walk.

[giramomma]

OK. Help me with my registry. Work is throwing me a little sprinkle and I feel like I need to put a little something together at Target.

We do need another crib sheet and waterproof mattress cover. We also need a bottle of wash.

I thought books, because we don't have board books anymore (that the peanut will share).

We're mostly set for clothes for the first year, blankets, and winter hats. We'll have like 8 bibs (Currently have 6, I have to make two more), and MIL is doctoring up some cloth diapers to make cute "boutique" burp clothes.

I'm making the kid some basic toys for show for Christmas (part of my schoolwork this semester)...and if MIL has time, she can whip up something like one of those taggie blankets or a woobie from her stash.

I'm not sure what I'm doing for feeding the kid yet. That's going to be a game time decision. So I don't even want to register for a pump or breast pads or anything at this point. We do have leftover bottles from the peanut. BPA free. So they should be fine. No pacifiers yet. I'm afraid the peanut will steal them. But pacificers and nipples are cheap and easy to acquire.

We already have a bouncer. That's like too much baby gear for me already. Someone gave us a playmat.

We're buying the rest of the gear: Car seat, mattress, play pen, and something for babywearing..(but I'm also on the fence about buying a wrap...I may have MIL make me one of those too.) We don't do travel systems..just wait until the kid is big enough for a dumb umbrella stroller.

I don't want a ton of toys. Because the kid won't play with them. #2 refused to play with baby/toddler toys by 18 months. #3 didn't touch them at all.

So, what am I forgetting?

If you were low gadget and low budget (think old school 70s where toys are measuring spoons, mixing bowls and old oatmeal containers) , what would you want?

[MJ2.0]

I am still purging DS's stuff, so I might have some board books.  I'll PM you if I find some.  But board books are always good.  What about basics - diapers, wipes, bath stuff?

[giramomma]

Sept 21, 2017 8:41:40 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

ETA: cael - it gets better.  MUCH better.  Especially once they can tell you what's bothering them.  We used to rock DS for like 1-2 hours a night to get him to sleep and sometimes we'd fall asleep in the chair or on the floor next to him.  It worked until he eventually slept on his own.  I still sit with him until he falls asleep, except now he's in a twin bed.

Right, but that's only if you can actually fix what's bothering them. Kids articulating what's bothering them doesn't make the kids less irrational.

The peanut has been on a kick about seeing ghosts in our house for a while now, which freaks her out and why she comes into our bed to sleep with us.

DD1 refuses to get ready in the morning using one of the up stairs bathrooms, because she won't hear if someone breaks into our house.

[giramomma]

Sept 21, 2017 9:01:33 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I am still purging DS's stuff, so I might have some board books.  I'll PM you if I find some.  But board books are always good.  What about basics - diapers, wipes, bath stuff?

I could put diapers on..but I'm not sure people want to just buy diapers. We have a few boxes of size 1 and one box of size 2. I buy a box a month at Target when I get a 25% off coupon. Per diaper, it's cheaper that Amazon mom.

Wipes..we stocked up at Costco the last time they had their $4 off sale. We have one box unopened and 8 out of 9 packs in the other one. (The peanut still uses wipes at home.)

We need wash. We still have a smaller tub we can use, and we have plenty of washclothes, etc. I mean, I could register for a robe for the kid but...eh.

[cktc]

Sept 21, 2017 8:56:12 GMT -5 giramomma said:

OK. Help me with my registry. Work is throwing me a little sprinkle and I feel like I need to put a little something together at Target.

We do need another crib sheet and waterproof mattress cover. We also need a bottle of wash.

I thought books, because we don't have board books anymore (that the peanut will share).

We're mostly set for clothes for the first year, blankets, and winter hats. We'll have like 8 bibs (Currently have 6, I have to make two more), and MIL is doctoring up some cloth diapers to make cute "boutique" burp clothes.

I'm making the kid some basic toys for show for Christmas (part of my schoolwork this semester)...and if MIL has time, she can whip up something like one of those taggie blankets or a woobie from her stash.

I'm not sure what I'm doing for feeding the kid yet. That's going to be a game time decision. So I don't even want to register for a pump or breast pads or anything at this point. We do have leftover bottles from the peanut. BPA free. So they should be fine. No pacifiers yet. I'm afraid the peanut will steal them. But pacificers and nipples are cheap and easy to acquire.

We already have a bouncer. That's like too much baby gear for me already. Someone gave us a playmat.

We're buying the rest of the gear: Car seat, mattress, play pen, and something for babywearing..(but I'm also on the fence about buying a wrap...I may have MIL make me one of those too.) We don't do travel systems..just wait until the kid is big enough for a dumb umbrella stroller.

I don't want a ton of toys. Because the kid won't play with them. #2 refused to play with baby/toddler toys by 18 months. #3 didn't touch them at all.

So, what am I forgetting?

If you were low gadget and low budget (think old school 70s where toys are measuring spoons, mixing bowls and old oatmeal containers) , what would you want?

Diapers and wipes, target gift cards, teethers, health and grooming supplies, new wash cloths and towels, can you have too many sheets? Maybe just upgrade some gear or clothes and sell old stuff at a consignment shop.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I found that a lot of people love to make baskets when I had my shower for Gwen.  I'd register for a bunch of those little things like nail clippers, baby socks, diaper rash cream, shampoo, stuff you forget you need until you're knee deep again.    Somebody will likely take all that and make a basket gift out of it.

Plus you get the 10-15% discount after the baby is born off anything on your registry.  I made one at Target and one at TRU for Abby just for the discounts.

[chen35]

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

[MJ2.0]

cloth diapers.  They make great burp cloths.  And lotion, diaper cream, booger sucker, etc.  IMO there is no such thing as too many sheets or too many of those little Carter/Gerber onesies - remember you will be in grad school so you don't want to be doing laundry a million times. 

[cael]

Sept 21, 2017 8:41:40 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Sept 21, 2017 7:41:16 GMT -5 cael said:

In other news, I finally gave up and decided to let A cry at bedtime again this week. Monday night he screamed for 50 minutes then slept ok for the night. Tuesday night I was sick and let him fall asleep on the couch with me, and he slept like dick all night (or didn't sleep, however you want to look at it). Last night I put him down almost asleep, and I heard him roll over and get up as the cat and I crept out of his room. He screamed for approximately 45 seconds then was snoring. He woke up around 2 and DH went in and settled him back down in his crib, and he slept until 5:45.  I'm sad about losing couch snuggles again at bedtime :/ buuuuuuut if we can get him sleeping well again it will be a beautiful thing.

He's getting so big, I'm sad about losing all the baby stuff - couch snuggling to sleep, his bedtime bottle will have to go away eventually, ugh.

see, all this and the fact that you were happy about him sleeping until 5:45am just makes me more sure I am done with babies, lol   I'm upset that DS gets up at 6:30-6:45 every damn day, but at least he goes to bed at 8:30 and stays asleep reliably.  As much as I know DS would be an awesome big brother and I'd love for him to have a "buddy", I have realized that I am way too selfish to have another child.  I like sleep and doing things.  Plus I'm single and not rolling in dough, so not trying to be a welfare poster child.

ETA: cael - it gets better.  MUCH better.  Especially once they can tell you what's bothering them.  We used to rock DS for like 1-2 hours a night to get him to sleep and sometimes we'd fall asleep in the chair or on the floor next to him.  It worked until he eventually slept on his own.  I still sit with him until he falls asleep, except now he's in a twin bed.

Loooool I'd be so happy if he'd sleep until 6:30! maybe someday my dream will come true!

[cael]

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

Yeah I hear that. I was 33 when A was born and we'd probably wait until he was 3-4 to think about another, so I'd be at least 36/37 and even the thought of being that much older than I am now makes me more exhausted.

[MJ2.0]

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Sept 21, 2017 7:36:29 GMT -5 cael said:

I waffle along the whole spectrum of yeah, another in a year or two would be fine, to hell no not doing this ever again kthxbye. We are completely undecided on another. You have time to think chen, your guy's still little!

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

can you shelve it for 6 months and see how you feel then?  Adding a kid now or later will make you more exhausted, LOL!  

I'm with you on not wanting a kid at 40 though.  At 40, I figure if I have the money and I still want to, I may consider fostering.

[giramomma]

And, sometimes you don't get a choice about when you get a kid.

I'm now down to saying "You know, I shouldn't be pregnant." about once a week or so, with a sigh.. It used to be multiple times a day, with lots of head shaking and groans.

I will say though....it's hard to separate all the tiredness factors...age, kid type, feeding choice/partner involvement, work pressures, etc.

I'm 42, and doing better than I thought I would be, actually. I mean, I was exhausted through the first trimester..and took 3 hour naps when I could. But, the rest is more mental exhaustion due to work and adjusting to life with a teenager.

At least physical exhaustion has an end. The mental stuff, not so much.

[MJ2.0]

LOL, "accidents" happen I know.

[Cookies Galore]

Sept 21, 2017 9:13:06 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I found that a lot of people love to make baskets when I had my shower for Gwen.  I'd register for a bunch of those little things like nail clippers, baby socks, diaper rash cream, shampoo, stuff you forget you need until you're knee deep again.    Somebody will likely take all that and make a basket gift out of it.

Plus you get the 10-15% discount after the baby is born off anything on your registry.  I made one at Target and one at TRU for Abby just for the discounts.

Childfree, but I totally create registries for the discount! All the stores that offer completion discounts don't need to know I'm already married!

[chen35]

Sept 21, 2017 9:27:46 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Sept 21, 2017 9:18:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

My issue is I'm 37 and DH is 40. I don't really want to have a kid at 40. I know a lot of people do, but I'm exhausted now, and that's not going to get any better.

can you shelve it for 6 months and see how you feel then?  Adding a kid now or later will make you more exhausted, LOL!  

I'm with you on not wanting a kid at 40 though.  At 40, I figure if I have the money and I still want to, I may consider fostering.

Yeah, I'm definitely not looking to get pregnant in the next six months. Yesterday was just the first day I felt like having another was a reasonable idea.

I did talk to DH last night and he said he didn't think he could be home with two. Which I get. We'll talk again in the spring.