The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[andi9899]

Sept 14, 2017 9:32:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 14, 2017 9:22:59 GMT -5 oped said:

You can play soccer and take a gymnastics class without going all out. It doesn't have to be a time and $ suck to try new things.

We've tried four new things in the past two years.  Every single thing she complained about once it stopped being new and she was expected to practice.  I'm done.  I am no longer enamored with the idea of giving my kids "experiences" and "trying new things".  I seem to have bred into her a sense of entitlement and the idea that you don't have to stick with anything if you feel you are bored and there is something better on the horizon.

Part of that may be she's seven years old.  If that is the case we can try again when she is older.

It's $75 per month, September's payment comes out today. I chose to make karate a priority because it was important to her.  She's paying me back by finishing the month.

I'm not saying she can never do anything.   I'm happy to pay $40 for an art class at the museum.  I am just done with things that require monthly installments and regular practice/class time.  She's shown she's not as ready for those types of things as DH and I thought she was.

Thing 2 is pretty good at art and always took an art class in the summer.  Check out the art institute where you live.  They have art classes for kids that last several weeks and not months.  And I know that I spent less than $100 on each class.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

Some one toss me a lifeline! My kids are having fun painting this summer. I went poking around on Amazon and now have a cart with $150 of craft/painting stuff. Do I order or not... if I do, I'll have to set up a playdate because this is more stuff than my 2 would paint.

[Lizard Queen]

I think a couple of months duration for any activity for a 7 yo is plenty, and that's the length of most of the sessions are for my kid so far.  My 7 yo gets tired of the schedule after so long.  Swimming was only 3 weeks, which was nice.  Indoor soccer is 11 weeks, but then we'll take a couple months off over the holidays.  I read somewhere that doing the same activity all of the time is rough on the joints of young kids.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm a lazy parent when it comes to activities for the kids. We did a couple years of soccer with school and the kids just aren't interested in it. And I didn't push it.

K wants to sign up for an after school art club. I'm good with that.

If there was an obstacle / kid ninja warrior class around, they'd be all over that.

They don't have a choice when volleyball comes around though. I'm willing to try things with them but vball is the sport with the most hold on me. And my extended family. So they're going to be stuck with at least one season of vball.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 14, 2017 10:07:06 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 14, 2017 9:07:07 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I've been thinking about that too.   I've already told her if we let her quit that's it she's not doing anything for the rest of the year and I am not enrolling her in anything else when it comes time to next summer.

It also irritates me because she shows a natural talent for both.  Her dance instructors and her karate teachers are all really impressed with her.   If she would just focus a tiny bit she could really excel but she doesn't want to put in the effort.

She thinks she wants to do gymnastics and soccer.   Umm. .. hell no.  Not only because they are both freakishly expensive but with the types of jobs DH and I have we can't follow a strict schedule, we had enough trouble with dance.   I sure as heck don't see the level of drive in Gwen that I would expect from her if we were to shell out for either of those activities.

Do you have a parks & rec soccer league?  When the girls played in ours, it was something like $50 for the whole season and we went to two 1 hour practices and had one game on Saturday.   

Not really.  A friend of mine was trying to launch one but was meeting with a lot of resistance.   This is a city largely owned by old farts, old farts who only care about services that benefit them, not anyone younger than 70.   It's a major uphill battle to get anything going for kids in the city.    They're still bitching about the skate park and that was built back in the early 2000's.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 9:22:59 GMT -5 oped said:

You can play soccer and take a gymnastics class without going all out. It doesn't have to be a time and $ suck to try new things.

Stick with the Y or Park Rec for cheap 8-12 week sessions unless and until she shows more interest and commitment. 

As for the instructor saying she has natural talent.  I tell you, I heard that so many times over the years with older son.  I'm pretty sure it was all BS to get us to keep coming back.  LOL 

[andi9899]

I did dance for years from the time I was little and all through high school.  My knees suck.  My ankles aren't that great either.  Some days they hurt more than others, but I never have a day with no pain.  It's not a lot of pain, maybe a 2 on a good day and a 6 or 7 on a bad day, but it's always there.  Add in that I also did cheer and volleyball and you can see why at not yet 40, I have all the aches and pains that I do.  

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 10:37:10 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 14, 2017 10:07:06 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Do you have a parks & rec soccer league?  When the girls played in ours, it was something like $50 for the whole season and we went to two 1 hour practices and had one game on Saturday.   

Not really.  A friend of mine was trying to launch one but was meeting with a lot of resistance.   This is a city largely owned by old farts, old farts who only care about services that benefit them, not anyone younger than 70.   It's a major uphill battle to get anything going for kids in the city.    They're still bitching about the skate park and that was built back in the early 2000's.

Then if there are no low cost options, I'd just skip activities for now.  It's not like she will never be good at Karate if she picks it up at 9 instead of 7. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Keep in mind, homework gets harder and there's more of it as she gets older. I've been watching another mom struggle with getting everything done and a reasonable bedtime upheld. She's a sahm so her dd can sleep until 730 am or so.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 14, 2017 10:42:15 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 14, 2017 10:37:10 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Not really.  A friend of mine was trying to launch one but was meeting with a lot of resistance.   This is a city largely owned by old farts, old farts who only care about services that benefit them, not anyone younger than 70.   It's a major uphill battle to get anything going for kids in the city.    They're still bitching about the skate park and that was built back in the early 2000's.

Then if there are no low cost options, I'd just skip activities for now.  It's not like she will never be good at Karate if she picks it up at 9 instead of 7. 

Oh I know.  My dad hasn't taken it for decades but was still faster than Gwen when she tried to attack him.

We nixed black belt leadership training because while she claims she wants to go that far she has not shown us the level of drive and commitment we expect from wanting to achieve that level.  I told her it's not that she can never take it in her life but more I am not paying for it based on current evidence.

I'm not banning her for life from activities.  I also don't have a problem with how much karate costs, I feel like we get a good bang for our buck.  Dance I feel like we get ripped off given how much it costs for everything.

The issue is she thinks if she quits karate I will turn around and sign her up for the next thing that caught her attention because that's what I've done with three dance classes and now karate.   We've gone enough rounds now though that I know she'll behave the exact same way in whatever thing she picks next.  

It's my fault for buying into the trend that kids should have lots of "experiences".  I got too excited about providing Gwen with stuff I couldn't do as a kid.   Now I am seasoned enough that I am starting to add up how much time and money this all costs while my kid goofs of and bitches about being bored.  These are activities SHE picked.  If I was picking the absolute last thing I would have picked is dance.

She's done with paid organized activities until she is mature enough to stick with something long enough to actually develop a skill.   There are way cheaper/free ways for her to have "fun".

[Wisconsin Beth]

Personally, I like the idea of letting kids try new things. But around here, it's a couple of months tops. When I do sign the kids up for stuff, they're committed until the end of that session. It's not the whole school year. It's just an hour or so a week, for 6-10 weeks.

The only long term commitment I make for my kids is religious education, which is an hour before Mass every other Sunday.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm fine with still doing one day classes here and there.   A lot of the museums offer weekend classes in the fall and all day classes in the summer.  I get a discount either by being a member or because I work for UNMC.

She's taking a three Saturday sculpture class right now at the Josyln.  I know she likes art and it's just the right length of time to keep her from getting bored.

Dance I am done with for a LONG time.   Dance is way more rigid and overall expensive when you add up all the shit for the recital you have to pay for.  Then after 6 months it's over with nothing but overpriced photos to show for it.  While this recital was better than the last I still can't help but feeling slightly ripped off afterwards.

[Deleted]

My kids are in a lot of stuff, but with the exception of piano lessons for Carrot, most of it is super cheap.  This town and a lot of wealthy benefactors here are really invested in youth programs.  We have things going on every single night, sometimes 2 or 3 things, but neither one wants to quit anything so we keep on trucking.  I would happily stop hauling them if I heard any whining about having to go.  Last year older son was bitching about going to scouts and how I have him so scheduled.  I took off my coat, kicked off my shoes and turned on Netflix.  We didn't go and he freaked because "I NEVER MISS A MEETING!!"   I asked him if he really thought I liked driving all the way to town to sit in the van with his little brother watching Sing for the 700th time while he was in his meeting?   If he was going to complain about having to go because I forced him then we would quit.  No skin off my back! 

He brought up the I have him so over scheduled thing again earlier this year and I begged him to pick one or two things to quit, but surprise surprise he didn't want to give anything up. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

No Girl Scouts. I am NOT a Girl Scout person.   I would consider it if SIL was still a troop leader but her daughter is long done with scouts.  I'd rather attempt to become a dance mom again than become a Girl Scout mom.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Lol MPL, I was thinking a couple of days ago that it might be time to watch Sing again.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 11:18:23 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Lol MPL, I was thinking a couple of days ago that it might be time to watch Sing again.

Do you want me to mail you our copy? 

[MJ2.0]

Sept 14, 2017 11:14:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No Girl Scouts. I am NOT a Girl Scout person.   I would consider it if SIL was still a troop leader but her daughter is long done with scouts.  I'd rather attempt to become a dance mom again than become a Girl Scout mom.

that's because GS is basically learning how to fix boo-boos, cook, do ugly crafts, and barely camp.  Basically be a good caretaker.  Hopefully it's different now because that was my experience.  I do want DS in Boy Scouts though.  X was a scout and I know he thinks it's important, but he's defending his dissertation in a few weeks.  Maybe we'll try to get DS joined in spring.

[Wisconsin Beth]

We only saw it once, in theaters with my mom. Mom's not a huge movie person but I wanted another adult and my mom LOVES music, all kinds. So I figured it'd be ok. We all enjoyed it. But again, one viewing vs your 700+

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I like Sing.  It's got good music.

It's Frozen that makes me want to drive one of Elsa's ice picks thru my brain.   I have no idea what it is that sets me off about that movie, I have no problems with any other Disney movie and I've watched some of them so many times I have the dialoge memorized.

On the subject of Disney anyone besides me watch older films and realize how incredibly racist/sexist some of them are now that you're old enough to understand the context of some scenes?

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 11:22:25 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Sept 14, 2017 11:14:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No Girl Scouts. I am NOT a Girl Scout person.   I would consider it if SIL was still a troop leader but her daughter is long done with scouts.  I'd rather attempt to become a dance mom again than become a Girl Scout mom.

that's because GS is basically learning how to fix boo-boos, cook, do ugly crafts, and barely camp.  Basically be a good caretaker.  Hopefully it's different now because that was my experience.  I do want DS in Boy Scouts though.  X was a scout and I know he thinks it's important, but he's defending his dissertation in a few weeks.  Maybe we'll try to get DS joined in spring.

September is typically the month they start.  Our sign up meeting for new cubs is tonight. 

[MJ2.0]

then I guess it will have to wait til next year.

[Lizard Queen]

Our sign up was 2 nights ago.  It makes me sad that so many kids drop out year to year, at the same time, so much of it just seems like a giant waste of money and time to me.  I did make use of DS's scout-made first aid kit this summer, though.

[TheOtherMe]

Great niece did the ballet, tumbling and soccer thing to my niece.  Refused to practice but loved the recital and to show off.  Finally they told her if you don't go to lessons and participate or practice, you are done.  She is done with those activities.  She still plays soccer in the summer and Girl Scouts during the school year.

Her older brother didn't like Cub Scouts, band, football, etc.  He really is too small for football.  He plays soccer and I think that is his only extracurricular activity now. 

They did take a year off for both kids from soccer because it was such a battle to get them to go.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Yeah that's Gwen.  She loves to show off for the recital and belt testing but doesn't like the day to day grunt work of either activity.  I've kept my mouth shut about not practicing at home because she's passed the belt test on the first try each time so clearly she's learning the material.

Watching her jack around in class last night is what pissed me off.  I am paying $75 a month for you to learn.  I know you know how to do a proper upper forearm block. I expect to see you do it.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 11:37:19 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Our sign up was 2 nights ago.  It makes me sad that so many kids drop out year to year, at the same time, so much of it just seems like a giant waste of money and time to me.  I did make use of DS's scout-made first aid kit this summer, though.

Cub Scouts kind of is...but Carrot absolutely loves it.  Boy Scouts is when it starts to get real (and the time commitment really goes up).  We don't lose many kids.  Older son is starting his 10th year in scouting and there are only a handful that aren't still in his Patrol that were also in his Den back in 1st grade.  It's so cool looking at pictures of these young men working together on Eagle projects or on high adventure trips and then looking back at the same kids together doing the Pinewood Derby as 6 year olds.

Of course, now that the bishop has decided to shun the scouts and kick us out of our Charter it's hard to know what the future is of our Pack/Troop.  We are being allowed to stay through 2018 I believe then we have to find a new sponsor. 

[Lizard Queen]

I really struggle limiting it, but if they complain, I'd have no problem cutting some of it out.  Right now 7 yo:  Cub Scouts, soccer, religion Sunday morning, will start bowling (super cheap, and it's my DH's thing), probably AWANA as well, as he really wants to go to hang out with his friend.
4 yo- soccer, wants to do bowling this year (again, super cheap and flexible), wanted to sign up for religion, too.  I hope he doesn't give me a hard time about going, as I was good with him waiting another year or 2 before starting those, as he's in a parochial preschool.


When soccer is done, it will be right before Thanksgiving, so we'll probably take a break through the holidats.  Could do more soccer later, swimming lessons, ice-skating lessons (super cheap).  Just one of those at a time, though.  I don't particularly want to pay/take them, but they really need to learn to swim, and they'll probably need something to combat the cabin fever mid-winter. 

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2017 11:45:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Yeah that's Gwen.  She loves to show off for the recital and belt testing but doesn't like the day to day grunt work of either activity.  I've kept my mouth shut about not practicing at home because she's passed the belt test on the first try each time so clearly she's learning the material.

Watching her jack around in class last night is what pissed me off.  I am paying $75 a month for you to learn.  I know you know how to do a proper upper forearm block. I expect to see you do it.

There's your problem!  Quit going to the classes.  Sit out in the van and watch Sing!  Let the instructor deal with behavior in the class.  If they feel it's a problem they'll deal with it or let you know it's not working out.

Actually, none of the arts things they do at the conservatory even allow parents to attend except on one night when they have an "observation night".  They said it's too much of a distraction having an audience. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Sept 14, 2017 11:27:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

On the subject of Disney anyone besides me watch older films and realize how incredibly racist/sexist some of them are now that you're old enough to understand the context of some scenes?

YES!! You really want to cringe though, try some of the Betty Boop cartoons. I loved them as a kid and was going to show my kids. I put the DVD in once and was horrified, I just couldn't show them to the kids regularly. Even some of the old TV shows I used to watch on Nick at Night ick me out now. One of our local TV stations used to air the Andy Griffith show after the news and I usually just left it because I was cooking. I got to a point where I just wanted to throw stuff at the TV. I swear I actually heard the phrase "don't worry your pretty little head about it" in an episode. 

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 14, 2017 11:48:01 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 14, 2017 11:37:19 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Our sign up was 2 nights ago.  It makes me sad that so many kids drop out year to year, at the same time, so much of it just seems like a giant waste of money and time to me.  I did make use of DS's scout-made first aid kit this summer, though.

Cub Scouts kind of is...but Carrot absolutely loves it.  Boy Scouts is when it starts to get real (and the time commitment really goes up).  We don't lose many kids.  Older son is starting his 10th year in scouting and there are only a handful that aren't still in his Patrol that were also in his Den back in 1st grade.  It's so cool looking at pictures of these young men working together on Eagle projects or on high adventure trips and then looking back at the same kids together doing the Pinewood Derby as 6 year olds.

Of course, now that the bishop has decided to shun the scouts and kick us out of our Charter it's hard to know what the future is of our Pack/Troop.  We are being allowed to stay through 2018 I believe then we have to find a new sponsor. 

I don't think our den/pack is particularly good or organized.  Maybe?  I don't know.  On outings, it seems like very few kids even bother showing up.  Other dens/packs seem to be much better represented at things.

[steph08]

Harper is in swim lessons, that's it for now. She's 3, she doesn't need to do everything under the sun. 

Whatever my kid wants to try, she can try. But not dance. Please let her not want to do dance!

But I feel no need to pack her schedule full. I think next summer we'll do tee-ball though. 

I did Girl Scouts all the way through high school and even earned my Gold Award (the GS equivalent of the Boy Scout Eagle Award). Our troop was probably an anomaly though. There were just 4 of us after we got into high school, and we did a lot of community service, interesting projects, fun trips, etc. 


Funny Chloe Story.

Yesterday I was getting her dressed for the day and I asked her if she pooped. She shook her head no. I asked if she peed. She nodded.

Then she stood up, walked away from me, went into the bathroom, turned and plopped down on Harper's little potty. 

Then she grabbed a piece of toilet paper and tried to wiped herself.

She didn't pee, obviously she's only 16 months old, but it was freakin hilarious! 


Also yesterday DH and I were pretty sure she said "Harper." At least her nonstop babbling sounded like Harper one time. haha