The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[lurkyloo]

Sept 1, 2017 13:23:27 GMT -5 quince said:

I am worried about eldest starting school because of all the...sitting time. It's not for another year, but he's not great at sitting still.  I also feel like we're in a weird limbo, since he's slowly phasing out of ABA and his therapists think it unlikely he needs one on one help regularly once he gets into school, but he's still on the spectrum so things won't ever be normal...I think it is easier to get help with a pronounced problem than minor accommodations for one that's been worked on extensively. I'm GLAD he needs less and less help, I just hope we can get him the bit of extra he will need once in school.

Right there with you-DS has been in the gray area for an awfully long time-with the added fun that the developmental pediatrician strongly suggested that adhd kids should be held back a year.  I don't really feel that's necessary or indicated, but it's one more thing to obsess about.   Part of the problem is that so much depends on the teacher and how (s)he handles difficult or atypical kids, and with public school it's a crapshoot who you wind up with.  

Do you have a Waldorf school or something nearby?  I realize that private school isn't always the answer, but my backup plan is to leave DS at his current daycare (accredited through first grade) if I don't feel comfortable making a decision by next fall.    Procrastination FTW!

[tcu2003]

Sept 2, 2017 19:08:34 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Sept 1, 2017 13:23:27 GMT -5 quince said:

I am worried about eldest starting school because of all the...sitting time. It's not for another year, but he's not great at sitting still.  I also feel like we're in a weird limbo, since he's slowly phasing out of ABA and his therapists think it unlikely he needs one on one help regularly once he gets into school, but he's still on the spectrum so things won't ever be normal...I think it is easier to get help with a pronounced problem than minor accommodations for one that's been worked on extensively. I'm GLAD he needs less and less help, I just hope we can get him the bit of extra he will need once in school.

Right there with you-DS has been in the gray area for an awfully long time-with the added fun that the developmental pediatrician strongly suggested that adhd kids should be held back a year.  I don't really feel that's necessary or indicated, but it's one more thing to obsess about.   Part of the problem is that so much depends on the teacher and how (s)he handles difficult or atypical kids, and with public school it's a crapshoot who you wind up with.  

Do you have a Waldorf school or something nearby?  I realize that private school isn't always the answer, but my backup plan is to leave DS at his current daycare (accredited through first grade) if I don't feel comfortable making a decision by next fall.    Procrastination FTW!

C has a June birthday, and just started Kindergarten this year. No ADHD/ADD complications, and socially and academically, he was more than ready, but I definitely worried/worry about the decreased lack of play and active time. So far he seems to be doing well at (public) school, but he's only 12 school days in. We have seen that the decreased free play and active time / long(er) periods of focused schoolwork time has affected his mood at home. He is generally tired and cranky in the evenings, sometimes the mornings, and it has so far even carried over into at least a chunk of each weekend Day.

They get 2 recesses per day, and C mentioned the other day they get a 3rd recess if they're good. As another poster mentioned, I hate tying good behavior to recess - studies show recess helps behavior, not the other way around. Kids (and adults) need to move and be active, and it's frustrating that most school districts ignore all of the research (and results from test schools) related to this.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Abby went pee on the potty, BY HERSELF.  I was doing homework and DH was watching TV when we heard the toilet flush.  She came out pulling up her diaper and announced she had peed!   We'll see if she can manage it the rest of the day, but this is still a good sign!

I hope this means we'll turn the corner soon!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Abby crapped her panties, so there went that theory.

Our HVAC broke.  It couldn't have been just the stupid central air, we're getting near the end of summer and won't need AC for much longer.

NOOOO it had to be the entire motor/blower so not only are we without A/C we will also be without heat come winter.

So it has to be fixed and fixed NOW.  So yay more money on the credit card cause we only have a $222 EF right now.

As my dad was telling me what was wrong all I heard was "::blah blah:: expensive ::blah blah:: really expensive ::blah blah::"  

[Jaguar]

Sorry Drama about all the damn crap.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Literally and figuratively.

[ners]

Sept 3, 2017 17:54:53 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Sorry Drama about all the damn crap.

[zibazinski]

How old is Abby?

[Sam_2.0]

Hugs, drama. Got to love when it all piles on at once.

My parents' fridge broke and leaked water through the floor and into the storage room below. Mom had plastic on the whole bottom level of shelving, but cardboard above that. So everything in cardboard was wet and probably ruined. I went to help clean up and didn't give DH a choice about keeping T home with him. There's milk in the freezer and formula in the cabinet - figure it out. I was only gone for an hour because we were able to get a lot done. Now they get to work on the flooring and walls - that part don't be as easy.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 3, 2017 18:21:44 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

How old is Abby?

She'll be three next Saturday.

I know what people are going to say. Don't think I don't already feel like a failure.

[Deleted]

Meh. Crap happens. No one is a failure for not being completely potty trained by 3...

[Pants]

Sept 3, 2017 19:18:11 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 3, 2017 18:21:44 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

How old is Abby?

She'll be three next Saturday.

I know what people are going to say. Don't think I don't already feel like a failure.

I read a couple articles recently saying that you shouldn't potty train before 3 as it can cause kids to retain stool and have increasing accidents as they age. 

So so stop sweating it. She's not potty trained yet? Apparently better in the long run.

[Pants]

Sept 3, 2017 19:18:11 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 3, 2017 18:21:44 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

How old is Abby?

She'll be three next Saturday.

I know what people are going to say. Don't think I don't already feel like a failure.

Also, putting pressure on yourself to control the bodily functions of your children is a sure route to madness, hon. She will be fine. You are doing nothing wrong. Please give yourself a little grace.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 3, 2017 19:50:13 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 3, 2017 19:18:11 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

She'll be three next Saturday.

I know what people are going to say. Don't think I don't already feel like a failure.

Also, putting pressure on yourself to control the bodily functions of your children is a sure route to madness, hon. She will be fine. You are doing nothing wrong. Please give yourself a little grace.

Route to madness? That train left the rails a long time ago!

Two months left to go till I can see a shrink.

[raeoflyte]

I don't remember when E potty trained, but C was 3 1/2.  I don't think E was much earlier than that.  You can spend a ton of time and energy making something happen when they are really young, or you can wait until they are old enough to really get it and then they just get it with little effort.  

[steph08]

Harper potty trained right after she turned 2, but she was super early. The other kids in daycare didn't train until 3, one boy, one girl. One of the other boys didn't train until after he was 4.

It's whenever your kid is ready. The other girl had used the potty off and on from 18 months but she didn't fully train until after 3, so even early introduction and inclination doesn't mean they train early.

[zibazinski]

Sept 3, 2017 19:18:11 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 3, 2017 18:21:44 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

How old is Abby?

She'll be three next Saturday.

I know what people are going to say. Don't think I don't already feel like a failure.

I'm sure she's reacting to something happening. It's the only thing they can actually control when you think about it. DS would still be going in his pants I swear if he could get away with it. DD succumbed to peer pressure with her odd birthday so she was easier. She was two and in class with two and a halfs. Not that there weren't slips but it seems to be easier with the second child than the first.

[travelnut11]

We're potty training too and it's a special kind of torture. My husband did not want to use any kind of reward system but that was a bust so things are going better since we implemented the M&M plan. 👍🏻

[steph08]

Sept 3, 2017 22:35:31 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

We're potty training too and it's a special kind of torture. My husband did not want to use any kind of reward system but that was a bust so things are going better since we implemented the M&M plan. 👍🏻

We also used m&ms. And a pair of new underwear after each time. And after she pooped, she would get a Daniel tiger book. Pooping took a month longer than peeing.

I'm obviously not above bribery!

[alabamagal]

Positive reinforcement is an effective way for changing behavior. Do what works. It is not bribery.

[finnime]

for adults, too.

[andi9899]

Sept 3, 2017 20:21:56 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Harper potty trained right after she turned 2, but she was super early. The other kids in daycare didn't train until 3, one boy, one girl. One of the other boys didn't train until after he was 4.

It's whenever your kid is ready. The other girl had used the potty off and on from 18 months but she didn't fully train until after 3, so even early introduction and inclination doesn't mean they train early.

Mine were this way too. Thing 1 was almost 4 and Thing 2 started right when she turned 2.

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2017 19:31:29 GMT -5 oped said:

Meh. Crap happens. No one is a failure for not being completely potty trained by 3...

I know my first wasn't as he couldn't go to preschool until 4 because of not being trained, I worked a lot with him, but wasn't getting anywhere.  My younger son, I said "screw it" and didn't do anything.  Of course, he was in daycare, so that might have helped.  He turned 3 in June and started preschool in September of that year, so I must have thought he was good enough by then, but I think it was close. 

[raeoflyte]

Drama--I don't know that this will help, and it could be me doing the grass is greener thing but I was just thinking--aren't your kids like pixie children?  (short and small for their age?)  If they are, you don't have to stress about any of this shit, because no one is going to look at your 3 year old who looks like a 2 year old and think, wow her parents suck for not potty training her.  And when people are amazed that your "supposed" 2 year old can do normal 3 year old things you can just sit back and take the praise.  

Our neighbors have a 5, 4, and 2 year old and they still take walks with all 3 of them in the evening in strollers and look perfectly NORMAL!  No one would blink an eye, or put them on that awful stroller website.  They're just enjoying an evening walk, and if any of the kids get too tired, no worries they can just ride home.  

[zibazinski]

Usually it's pee that gets hard to potty out of because poop unless you have diarrhea gives you better warning.

[travelnut11]

So moms of littles: who has a double stroller? If so, what kind and do you like it? Why or why not? I haven't been able to pull the trigger on this yet as they're so huge and often expensive. We can muddle through with two strollers this year but next year will probably need one. But my kids are on the top end of the growth curve so is a large 3 year-old too big for a stroller? I'm way overthinking this but need to figure something out.

[raeoflyte]

We had one from Target, about $100 I think, but C could stand up in the back where we pushed.  I'm trying to think if he had a bench to sit on if he needed it?  He must have, but I just can't remember, but he was 3.5 when E was born, so we only used it for 6 months or so.  Strollers for the stuff factors are god sends.  

[Pants]

Sept 4, 2017 14:06:03 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

So moms of littles: who has a double stroller? If so, what kind and do you like it? Why or why not? I haven't been able to pull the trigger on this yet as they're so huge and often expensive. We can muddle through with two strollers this year but next year will probably need one. But my kids are on the top end of the growth curve so is a large 3 year-old too big for a stroller? I'm way overthinking this but need to figure something out.

We only had a single stroller. Once K was born we made B walk. Once or twice it bit me in the ass and had to carry a kid and push a kid, but not frequently. I leaned to put the baby ergo in the stroller so if needed just put baby in ergo and B in stroller.

[Sam_2.0]

Sept 4, 2017 15:06:30 GMT -5 Pants said:

Sept 4, 2017 14:06:03 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

So moms of littles: who has a double stroller? If so, what kind and do you like it? Why or why not? I haven't been able to pull the trigger on this yet as they're so huge and often expensive. We can muddle through with two strollers this year but next year will probably need one. But my kids are on the top end of the growth curve so is a large 3 year-old too big for a stroller? I'm way overthinking this but need to figure something out.

We only had a single stroller. Once K was born we made B walk. Once or twice it bit me in the ass and had to carry a kid and push a kid, but not frequently. I leaned to put the baby ergo in the stroller so if needed just put baby in ergo and B in stroller.

The bigger the stroller, the more shit I have to cart around. We had one of those sit n stands and actually all 3 of mine fit since I have tiny kids. But it annoyed the hell out of me. Most places where we shop have carts, and honestly we don't go out much to places where the kids can't run around.

They do make stroller connectors so you can take two umbrella strollers and make a double out of them. And unsnap pretty easily if you want to split up on your outing which is nice. We've used those. But usually it's just one stroller and we carry a kid if we really need to.

[alabamagal]

I had 3 kids close in age. Kid 1 was 3 when kid 3 was born. Never did a double stroller. Really never had a good single stroller, just umbrella stroller.

I never went out with 3 kids. Shopping was done by myself. And I guess we led a really boring life.