The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[andi9899]

We only use our towels once and throw it in the laundry. I'd much rather wash more laundry than use the same towel over and over again.

[WholeLottaNothin]

Happy Birthday to M! It's amazing how much they grow in that first year.

We went to the state fair last Thursday and I forgot to change Donovan when we were there. He fell asleep on the way home and by the time we got home he had peed out of his diaper. It happens.

The neurologist appointment didn't go great but about as I expected. I am w/o a license for a year (I'm assuming from the date of the seizure but he didn't clarify). NYS DMV rule. Either way it sucks. I cried about it off and on all night.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Nothin

[taz157]

((((Hugs)))) Nottin

[whoisjohngalt]

Aug 31, 2017 8:48:52 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Happy Birthday to M! It's amazing how much they grow in that first year.

We went to the state fair last Thursday and I forgot to change Donovan when we were there. He fell asleep on the way home and by the time we got home he had peed out of his diaper. It happens.

The neurologist appointment didn't go great but about as I expected. I am w/o a license for a year (I'm assuming from the date of the seizure but he didn't clarify). NYS DMV rule. Either way it sucks. I cried about it off and on all night.

I probably  missed the back story - but just wanted to say  - sorry you are going through this.  Hugs to you.

[muttleynfelix]

Hugs Nuttin.

[muttleynfelix]

Aug 30, 2017 20:42:48 GMT -5 azucena said:

Aug 30, 2017 17:15:30 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

OH MY GOD! I was downloading some EOBs to get paid back from my HSA. And I noticed a charge for over $4k from a lab that my insurance isn't going to cover. We haven't seen the bill, but I am freaking out. I don't even know what it was for (it is for DH and that date he had some cortisone shots). We just used half our savings for a new AC unit. I went ahead and paid that in full. But then we got the bill for $1400 for DH'S treatment the same day as the lab claim. I had to set up a payment plan. Our savings haven't been this low in 10 years. I'm freaking out. I guess no gymnastics for our kids for a year or two. I probably should pull Jocelyn from preschool, but I won't. So now what to do. DH just needs to get disability, but at this point that may be a huge uphill battle. I know he thinks he can work, but I don't see how or what. I've already pulled my retirement back to just to get the match. If we cut cable, we have to cut Internet to save any money. Our cell phones are pretty cheap. Not sure what else to cut.

Eta: nevermind. We apparently did get the bill and it was $75.

Is he opposed to applying for disability or do you think he won't be approved? fwiw, my DH was able to get disability the first time he applied. At the time, that extra money was very necessary for our budget.

Not opposed, but doesn't want to do the work to get it. At this point it has been 8.5 years since he has worked. Timing being everything, he was laid off after neck surgery. His boss helped him find another job, but he couldn't get medical clearance to do it because he was still recovering so it went to someone else. His issues have gotten worse since then. So I don't know. At least here, his doctor is willing to help him get it. Back in Missouri, the doctors were like eh good luck with that.

[ners]

Aug 31, 2017 9:00:03 GMT -5 taz157 said:

((((Hugs)))) Nottin

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

SO black belt leadership training is out for Gwen at least for the time being. I misunderstood I thought it was a free additional thing you could do along with the $75 I already pay for class.

Nope, it jumps to $100 a month and an additional $150 admission fee. Weapons are included.

We just can't swing that right now.  DH also had a point that if we are going to invest that much money and time (she has to go 3x a week instead of 2x) then he wants to see more of a comitment out of her.   She's good at karate but really doesn't put in the practice.  Plus she keeps bitching she is bored and wants to switch to cheerleading or something else (then bitches about being bored there)

If she wants to go to the next level then this is it and she needs to do the work.   I don't think she's ready for that and neither does DH. 

 I said you bitched about hating cheerleading, you bitched about ballet, you bitched about tap.  All these things require constant practice and time if you want to be any good.  It's not the activity you hate, it's having to practice. Mommy and daddy are not going to spend money on this stuff only to have you quit because you're "bored".   It's time to pick something and stick with it for awhile.

If she does that maybe in a couple years we can talk about moving her up to the next level in karate.

[MJ2.0]

Aug 30, 2017 22:47:00 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Not sure I can remember who but to answer a question about home situation:

I think my home is perfectly clean, and workers/people that have visited have said same; but remember wife and MIL are OCD about it.

MIL takes care of daughter when we are not here (wife works outside the home) and it is still an adjustment. Sometimes my wife comes back home and her mom was not able to take a shower that day.

My daughter is crawling now so really have to watch for her.

No idea why what I type is going to sound snarky, but for some reason it reads that way.

I wouldn't go out of my way to feed the cleanliness OCD.  If your wife and MIL want it perfectly clean, they can do it.  No way would I hire a cleaning service - there are 3 adults in the house capable of cleaning.

Yeah, I forget how many days I missed getting a shower while watching DS alone when he was a baby.  That's pretty expected.  Having a crawler makes things a LOT harder.  The pack-and-play was a God send for things like showering or being able to do anything in another room for 2 minutes.

These things - not a perfectly clean house and sometimes not getting to shower - are all part of parenting a small child.  Not sure what your wife/MIL expected things to be like, but things are not even close to picture perfect.    At least you have help.

[tcu2003]

Hugs, nuttin. My dad had epilepsy, and when he lost his license after a period of time when his seizures weren't under control, it was definitely mentally and emotionally difficult for him. Thinking about you.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

MJ your post made me think about my mom telling me that it's A LOT harder to run after a 2 year old at 62, she thanks God every day that dad is snipped and she's thru menopause.

[WholeLottaNothin]

I can't wait until Donovan doesn't flip out when I take a shower. I have gone longer than I would care to admit without a shower. He is almost 3 so he should be okay soon. He is such a mama's boy. Roggie, who is 6, couldn't care less what I do.

[chen35]

Aug 30, 2017 22:47:00 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Not sure I can remember who but to answer a question about home situation:

I think my home is perfectly clean, and workers/people that have visited have said same; but remember wife and MIL are OCD about it.

MIL takes care of daughter when we are not here (wife works outside the home) and it is still an adjustment. Sometimes my wife comes back home and her mom was not able to take a shower that day.

My daughter is crawling now so really have to watch for her.

How is the baby napping? C still isn't the best sleeper in the world, but we can at least get two naps out of him, which are at least 30 minutes (usually more). That's the only guaranteed time to get anything done.
He also has a bouncer that he likes and will keep himself entertained in for 20 minutes or so. You have to be in the same room with him, but it's a time dishes can be put away, light cleaning can be done.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

MIL raised a kid, shouldn't she already be aware of how it works?  My mom admits that it's harder now that she's in her 60's but she raised two kids already, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up to be my babysitter.  She said Abby is actually better than my brother.

[quince]

It would be rough  being obsessive about cleanliness with a mobile child. It's a good way to drive yourself, and eventually your child, insane.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I will also add my MIL knows how it works after raising three kids which is why she did not volunteer to babysit 😜

[empress of self-improvement]

Aug 31, 2017 9:11:38 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Aug 30, 2017 20:42:48 GMT -5 azucena said:

Is he opposed to applying for disability or do you think he won't be approved? fwiw, my DH was able to get disability the first time he applied. At the time, that extra money was very necessary for our budget.

Not opposed, but doesn't want to do the work to get it. At this point it has been 8.5 years since he has worked. Timing being everything, he was laid off after neck surgery. His boss helped him find another job, but he couldn't get medical clearance to do it because he was still recovering so it went to someone else. His issues have gotten worse since then. So I don't know. At least here, his doctor is willing to help him get it. Back in Missouri, the doctors were like eh good luck with that.

What all work is there to do? I filled out DH's paperwork and lugged his ass to an eye doctor they wanted him to see and that was it. Of course, I think MS is on some sort of list for speedier approval and he had it for over 20 years before he started progessing.

[empress of self-improvement]

Aug 31, 2017 8:48:52 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Happy Birthday to M! It's amazing how much they grow in that first year.

We went to the state fair last Thursday and I forgot to change Donovan when we were there. He fell asleep on the way home and by the time we got home he had peed out of his diaper. It happens.

The neurologist appointment didn't go great but about as I expected. I am w/o a license for a year (I'm assuming from the date of the seizure but he didn't clarify). NYS DMV rule. Either way it sucks. I cried about it off and on all night.

A YEAR?!?!?!!? Mass. only made me go 6 months for 1 lousy seizure. It worked out ok only because where I was living at the time I could easily walk places and DH was still driving but a year?!?!? HELL NO!

I'm sorry. I know it's hard and it sucks.

[taz157]

Aug 31, 2017 16:22:55 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Aug 31, 2017 8:48:52 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Happy Birthday to M! It's amazing how much they grow in that first year.

We went to the state fair last Thursday and I forgot to change Donovan when we were there. He fell asleep on the way home and by the time we got home he had peed out of his diaper. It happens.

The neurologist appointment didn't go great but about as I expected. I am w/o a license for a year (I'm assuming from the date of the seizure but he didn't clarify). NYS DMV rule. Either way it sucks. I cried about it off and on all night.

A YEAR?!?!?!!? Mass. only made me go 6 months for 1 lousy seizure. It worked out ok only because where I was living at the time I could easily walk places and DH was still driving but a year?!?!? HELL NO!

I'm sorry. I know it's hard and it sucks.

My MIL was 90 days without a license after her seizure (in MD). Mentally, it took her longer to be able to drive though. Now she won't drive too far by herself, just to the grocery store about 5 miles within their house. If it's longer, then she'll take FIL with her.

[TheHaitian]

Aug 31, 2017 14:21:31 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

MIL raised a kid, shouldn't she already be aware of how it works?  My mom admits that it's harder now that she's in her 60's but she raised two kids already, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up to be my babysitter.  She said Abby is actually better than my brother.

My Mil did not raise my wife, my wife nanny did. Remember my MIL was a widowed when my wife was 2 and had to earn a living in Haiti. And before that she always had my wife nanny/ Maid; my nanny was with them till she left for College (transition from nanny to Maid/helper) and we even considered getting her a visa to come help with Carlie.

She worked and hired a nanny to take care of my wife, my MIL only started learning how to cook after the moved to the states with my wife (she had help do that in Haiti) and my wife started to teach her.

Haiti social economic standing vs the US are 2 different things: in Haiti my wife and I would have a nanny for Carlie, a cook/Maid, a guy to take care the property and someone that comes by a couple of times a week to wash our clothes.

There is a reason a lot of middle class Haitians or above prefer to stay in Haiti; or is a shock to their system to move to the United States and have to do everything yourself.

[suesinfl]

Aug 31, 2017 19:50:24 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Aug 31, 2017 14:21:31 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

MIL raised a kid, shouldn't she already be aware of how it works?  My mom admits that it's harder now that she's in her 60's but she raised two kids already, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up to be my babysitter.  She said Abby is actually better than my brother.

My Mil did not raise my wife, my wife nanny did. Remember my MIL was a widowed when my wife was 2 and had to earn a living in Haiti. And before that she always had my wife nanny/ Maid; my nanny was with them till she left for College (transition from nanny to Maid/helper) and we even considered getting her a visa to come help with Carlie.

She worked and hired a nanny to take care of my wife, my MIL only started learning how to cook after the moved to the states with my wife (she had help do that in Haiti) and my wife started to teach her.

Haiti social economic standing vs the US are 2 different things: in Haiti my wife and I would have a nanny for Carlie, a cook/Maid, a guy to take care the property and someone that comes by a couple of times a week to wash our clothes.

There is a reason a lot of middle class Haitians or above prefer to stay in Haiti; or is a shock to their system to move to the United States and have to do everything yourself.

No offense TheHaitian , but  I love hearing your stories about the different  cultures, but this is too much for me to comprehend. I hope things get easier for all.

[andi9899]

Aug 31, 2017 19:50:24 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Aug 31, 2017 14:21:31 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

MIL raised a kid, shouldn't she already be aware of how it works?  My mom admits that it's harder now that she's in her 60's but she raised two kids already, she knew what she was getting into when she signed up to be my babysitter.  She said Abby is actually better than my brother.

My Mil did not raise my wife, my wife nanny did. Remember my MIL was a widowed when my wife was 2 and had to earn a living in Haiti. And before that she always had my wife nanny/ Maid; my nanny was with them till she left for College (transition from nanny to Maid/helper) and we even considered getting her a visa to come help with Carlie.

She worked and hired a nanny to take care of my wife, my MIL only started learning how to cook after the moved to the states with my wife (she had help do that in Haiti) and my wife started to teach her.

Haiti social economic standing vs the US are 2 different things: in Haiti my wife and I would have a nanny for Carlie, a cook/Maid, a guy to take care the property and someone that comes by a couple of times a week to wash our clothes.

There is a reason a lot of middle class Haitians or above prefer to stay in Haiti; or is a shock to their system to move to the United States and have to do everything yourself.

How cheap is it to live in Haiti?! Either that, or how much do jobs pay?! I make decent money and there is no way I could afford that!

[raeoflyte]

The last couple years I've been livid that C only gets 2 short recess' in 7 hours of school. This year he gets one!?!  1 freaking recess after lunch.  So a 40 minute lunch break, and when you're done eating you can go play outside.  These are 6-8 year old's.  I just don't understand how this makes sense for kids learning or health.  They get PE twice a week which is an "improvement" but still not enough activity.  

[quince]

Aug 31, 2017 23:02:35 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The last couple years I've been livid that C only gets 2 short recess' in 7 hours of school. This year he gets one!?!  1 freaking recess after lunch.  So a 40 minute lunch break, and when you're done eating you can go play outside.  These are 6-8 year old's.  I just don't understand how this makes sense for kids learning or health.  They get PE twice a week which is an "improvement" but still not enough activity.  

It makes no sense. Pretty sure there are studies showing that it makes no sense. (studies showing that early in the morning is a shitty time for high school to start, too.) Not sure that evidence based schooling is really a thing, though.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 31, 2017 23:13:49 GMT -5 quince said:

Aug 31, 2017 23:02:35 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The last couple years I've been livid that C only gets 2 short recess' in 7 hours of school. This year he gets one!?!  1 freaking recess after lunch.  So a 40 minute lunch break, and when you're done eating you can go play outside.  These are 6-8 year old's.  I just don't understand how this makes sense for kids learning or health.  They get PE twice a week which is an "improvement" but still not enough activity.  

It makes no sense. Pretty sure there are studies showing that it makes no sense. (studies showing that early in the morning is a shitty time for high school to start, too.) Not sure that evidence based schooling is really a thing, though.

Exactly!  At least with the start time I can accept a reason behind it (age of kids walking to school alone at certain hours).  Although our district is looking at flipping the schedule based on those studies.  Which means they read the damn things, so what about physical activity?  

I really like the school for pretty much every other reason.  They are so attentive and I've seen them do so much for kids above, below, and at grade level.  But I can't get over this.  

[zibazinski]

Well, I can tell you the reasons behind my old school system doing it but there are posters here who still teach so they may have more up to date reasons.

[econstudent]

Aug 31, 2017 23:02:35 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The last couple years I've been livid that C only gets 2 short recess' in 7 hours of school. This year he gets one!?!  1 freaking recess after lunch.  So a 40 minute lunch break, and when you're done eating you can go play outside.  These are 6-8 year old's.  I just don't understand how this makes sense for kids learning or health.  They get PE twice a week which is an "improvement" but still not enough activity.  

Yep. M's class gets a second recess if they are good enough. Basic child development will tell you that restricting a 6 year old's exercise and free play will make behavior worse, not better. Drives me nuts.

[WholeLottaNothin]

Aug 31, 2017 16:22:55 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Aug 31, 2017 8:48:52 GMT -5 WholeLottaNothin said:

Happy Birthday to M! It's amazing how much they grow in that first year.

We went to the state fair last Thursday and I forgot to change Donovan when we were there. He fell asleep on the way home and by the time we got home he had peed out of his diaper. It happens.

The neurologist appointment didn't go great but about as I expected. I am w/o a license for a year (I'm assuming from the date of the seizure but he didn't clarify). NYS DMV rule. Either way it sucks. I cried about it off and on all night.

A YEAR?!?!?!!? Mass. only made me go 6 months for 1 lousy seizure. It worked out ok only because where I was living at the time I could easily walk places and DH was still driving but a year?!?!? HELL NO!

I'm sorry. I know it's hard and it sucks.

I had seizures when I was in my senior year of high school but this was the first one in 17 years. I didn't even have a neurologist anymore or had been on meds for 13 years it had been so long, so I am starting over . My old neurologist is semi-retired and works mainly with stroke patients now. I know you are in a different state, but do you know if it is from the date of the seizure that they are counting a year?

[Sam_2.0]

Oh nuttin, that is so hard. I am sorry I understand that they want to keep you safe but it just makes things really difficult.

Aly's class only gets 2 recess periods, but from the schedule the teacher has shared and what Aly has told me, there is plenty of moving around during the non-recess times too. This re-entry into school is a beast though. She has been having meltdowns every night Doesn't help that DH and I have been seriously stressed out with work and everything else too, so by the time we get home we just want to check out and neither of us have the patience to deal with her. We don't really have much planned for this weekend - dinner at my sister's tomorrow, swimming with the neighbors on Sunday, nothing on Monday. Hopefully that helps us all relax a bit.