NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Aug 27, 2017 21:15:21 GMT -5
You know how people tell you "oh, you'll miss doing *this* with the kids when they are gone"? Well, I don't think I'll ever miss going grocery shopping with kids. Ever. We rarely agree on anything but this I can't like enough. There has never been a single moment that I have missed taking them to the grocery store. And considering that they are in their mid to late 30s, it's not like I haven't had plenty of chances...NEVER, NOT EVEN ONCE, HAVE I MISSED THIS.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2017 21:28:26 GMT -5
I love taking my kids to the grocery store, actually half the time anymore I just send them A few weeks ago all four of us went in and all checked out separately...
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 27, 2017 22:52:58 GMT -5
Tonight was grandpa's big reception. I ran the kids around and did my best to take that off of DH so he could focus on time with his grandpa. A and J hit full meltdown right before his grandpa's speech, and while I offered to find a ride for DH to get back if we left without him, he decided to just leave and come with us. I think he really regrets it. J stuck rocks up his nose on the way back to grandpa's house to say goodnight, so that was a fun side adventure. Trip to the ER, then back across town we just made it to see grandpa before he fell asleep. While I hope not, I am pretty sure this was our last visit with grandpa. I've only known him for about 10 years and I cried leaving. DH is a wreck. These parts of life just suck. I am so glad we came down here to see him.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 27, 2017 23:39:43 GMT -5
Contributions are not tax deductible. Some states do have a deduction for state tax purposes, but many do not. (And the ones that do are often not worth it, as some state programs have very high fees and poor investment choices.) Actually 34 states have a deduction now (not mine sadly) and 5 states even allow a deduction if you contribute to another state's plan. DC has an insane tax rate, so if I was Carl I'd for sure look at their plan before investing elsewhere. And I am so thankful I live in one of those 5 states as our state plan isn't very good!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 28, 2017 7:29:47 GMT -5
Talking of 529 - when did you start one? Have a particular goal in mind to put away / per month / per year ? Carlie is almost 8 months old and we still have not started the savings account for her or the 529. I guess the fact she is still a baby makes it easier to postpone it and keep postponing it? my kids are 7 and 9 and we still haven't started so anything you do is ahead of us!
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cael
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Post by cael on Aug 28, 2017 7:44:01 GMT -5
Talking of 529 - when did you start one? Have a particular goal in mind to put away / per month / per year ? Carlie is almost 8 months old and we still have not started the savings account for her or the 529. I guess the fact she is still a baby makes it easier to postpone it and keep postponing it? Don't feel bad Carl, A's savings account has exactly $180 in it so far and I don't contribute regularly.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 28, 2017 7:48:15 GMT -5
Talking of 529 - when did you start one? Have a particular goal in mind to put away / per month / per year ? Carlie is almost 8 months old and we still have not started the savings account for her or the 529. I guess the fact she is still a baby makes it easier to postpone it and keep postponing it? Don't feel bad Carl, A's savings account has exactly $180 in it so far and I don't contribute regularly. I started savings account with the baptism gift money. Any gift money goes into it. I think K has around 1200 in hers and c is closing in on 1k. I'm thinking it's time to move into some other form of investing for them with it.
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cael
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Post by cael on Aug 28, 2017 8:13:35 GMT -5
Yeah, once I have more I'll probably go the taxable investment account route. Random thought: I'm reading some threads on fb about parents asking what to tell their kids about where babies come from. The number of people who are like "oh I told him that when mommy and daddy love each other god gives them a baby" blows my mind.. is this seriously what people tell their kids?? (I'm talking a 7 or 8yo who should be able to understand a simple, factual explanation, not like 3 year olds.) One woman claimed that her 10 and 12 year olds bought her explanation of mom and dad laid in bed, held hands and made a wish to the stars and got a baby. WTF? Ugh. Not looking forward to this stage but we're going to try to be honest and age-appropriately factual at least..
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 28, 2017 8:16:28 GMT -5
Yeah, once I have more I'll probably go the taxable investment account route. Random thought: I'm reading some threads on fb about parents asking what to tell their kids about where babies come from. The number of people who are like "oh I told him that when mommy and daddy love each other god gives them a baby" blows my mind.. is this seriously what people tell their kids?? (I'm talking a 7 or 8yo who should be able to understand a simple, factual explanation, not like 3 year olds.) One woman claimed that her 10 and 12 year olds bought her explanation of mom and dad laid in bed, held hands and made a wish to the stars and got a baby. WTF? Ugh. Not looking forward to this stage but we're going to try to be honest and age-appropriately factual at least.. I need to find something age appropriate when I asks. If I ever manage to get pregnant and have a baby at the end, she'll be asking. So far when she's asked, it's been at times that it wasn't conducive to have the talk and then she forgets.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 28, 2017 8:18:46 GMT -5
When they asked I answered. As simply as possible. Unfortunately that is how my son thought I was lying to him when I tried to explain homosexuality. "Innie and outie" is too simple it seems.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 28, 2017 8:38:05 GMT -5
Lol at the where do babies come from discussion. When DD was 9 her best friend's mother told me that their daughter was riding home with her father when out of nowhere she blurts out, "Dad, did you really stick your penis in mom's vagina to start S?" (S was the younger sister.) The poor father nearly drove off the road.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 28, 2017 8:38:41 GMT -5
Tonight was grandpa's big reception. I ran the kids around and did my best to take that off of DH so he could focus on time with his grandpa. A and J hit full meltdown right before his grandpa's speech, and while I offered to find a ride for DH to get back if we left without him, he decided to just leave and come with us. I think he really regrets it. J stuck rocks up his nose on the way back to grandpa's house to say goodnight, so that was a fun side adventure. Trip to the ER, then back across town we just made it to see grandpa before he fell asleep. While I hope not, I am pretty sure this was our last visit with grandpa. I've only known him for about 10 years and I cried leaving. DH is a wreck. These parts of life just suck. I am so glad we came down here to see him. In regards to rocks up the nose. The ER doctor told us instead of rushing there first, and ending up with a giant bill to go with it, pinch the nostril without rocks n it shut then blow REALLY hard into his mouth. It will dislodge the rock and either it'll shoot right out or it'll be low enough for you to fish it out. We didn't believe him but gave it a go and it worked. We had to poke her eyes back into her head but it worked. Works with both nostrils full of rocks too, you just don't have to pinch anything.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 28, 2017 8:45:26 GMT -5
Gwen asked me last year where Abby came from. So I told her. DH got pissed at me and told me I should have told her babies come from the stork. Yeah you think the kid who asked me "If the world is spinning then how are we going straight on the road" (to which I replied sorry mommy failed physics ) is going to buy that Abby got in my body thanks to a stork?
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Aug 28, 2017 8:47:02 GMT -5
sam - sorry that the end of your first was sad and crazy with the ER visit. rae - I hope you figure out what works best for your situation. pants - dreams like those are terrible. I haven't had one about the kids yet, but I had one about my dad dying and woke up at 4 am sobbing in my sleep. I had to wait until 6 to call and make sure he wasn't actually dead. carl - I started 529s when they were born. $75/month. I did stop to pay other bills, but I need to start them up again. Of course, I fantasize in 4 years when daycare is done just to throw 1500/month to them until they're caught up. My parents also have 529s for them and contribute $50/month. I lived at home until I was 24 - my poor parents. I did pay for my car insurance and phone though! 18-22 I was away at college, so it was really just an extra two years. Both kids were asleep by 7:30 this weekend - birthday party on Saturday and then fair and two grandparent visits yesterday!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 28, 2017 9:02:32 GMT -5
Tonight was grandpa's big reception. I ran the kids around and did my best to take that off of DH so he could focus on time with his grandpa. A and J hit full meltdown right before his grandpa's speech, and while I offered to find a ride for DH to get back if we left without him, he decided to just leave and come with us. I think he really regrets it. J stuck rocks up his nose on the way back to grandpa's house to say goodnight, so that was a fun side adventure. Trip to the ER, then back across town we just made it to see grandpa before he fell asleep. While I hope not, I am pretty sure this was our last visit with grandpa. I've only known him for about 10 years and I cried leaving. DH is a wreck. These parts of life just suck. I am so glad we came down here to see him. In regards to rocks up the nose. The ER doctor told us instead of rushing there first, and ending up with a giant bill to go with it, pinch the nostril without rocks n it shut then blow REALLY hard into his mouth. It will dislodge the rock and either it'll shoot right out or it'll be low enough for you to fish it out. We didn't believe him but gave it a go and it worked. We had to poke her eyes back into her head but it worked. Works with both nostrils full of rocks too, you just don't have to pinch anything. So going to have to remember this when the girls have kids. Mine mever put anything in their noses, but Thing 1 shoved a sequin in her ear to save it for later. It was in there for a week or two before the doctor found it during a routine checkup and fished it out.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 28, 2017 9:06:13 GMT -5
Abby has never shoved anything in her ear or nose. She likes to store things in her diaper. I went to change her once and found a toy credit card, two quarters and a glue stick. I asked her what has grandma been feeding you?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 28, 2017 9:28:52 GMT -5
Abby has never shoved anything in her ear or nose. She likes to store things in her diaper. I went to change her once and found a toy credit card, two quarters and a glue stick. I asked her what has grandma been feeding you? Need pockets!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 28, 2017 9:31:36 GMT -5
Lol at the where do babies come from discussion. When DD was 9 her best friend's mother told me that their daughter was riding home with her father when out of nowhere she blurts out, "Dad, did you really stick your penis in mom's vagina to start S?" (S was the younger sister.) The poor father nearly drove off the road. The joy of children. At least it wasn't at the top of her lungs in public. Or church. DD wasn't a fan of the Virgin Mary story. Publicly.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 28, 2017 9:48:13 GMT -5
So much more stressful. I can't imagine managing C's care between 2 houses. Even before that dx when we were in therapy, divorce to me means that we move into separate units of the triplex I own with my parents so that we can manage the kids schedules basically how we do now. I would still be financially responsible for dh in many ways, possibly forever, and I love him even if I simultaneously want to smother him in his sleep. He has his own health issues that complicate things. He isn't a hard worker like my parents are, but he isn't lazy either. Divorce for me really isn't an option. I'm not sure how long my dh will be able to live with my growing bitchiness that is directed towards him so often though...and I wonder if he'll decide it's an option for him. Which mostly screws him, but I'd still feel responsible for the fall out. Plus I don't like being a bitch. Grand scheme of things this is temporary, but I'm looking at another 4 years most likely which isn't anything to sneeze at. I'm going to look at just budgeting in lawn and housekeeping. I've been trying so hard not to, but chances are $2400 a year in that category would increase marital happiness exponentially, or at least decrease the amount of pillow smothering thoughts. Even with DH staying home we have the neighbor kid do the lawn and someone comes and deep cleans every few weeks. It's worth the cost to save that stress on our marriage. I'd say do it if you can in any way afford it. I have been paying someone $40/visit every 2 weeks to mow my lawn all summer long. And at the rate my wife keeps complaining about the house being filthy or not as clean as it used to be, a cleaning lady/crew every other week or so might be next.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Aug 28, 2017 9:49:11 GMT -5
Yeah, once I have more I'll probably go the taxable investment account route. Random thought: I'm reading some threads on fb about parents asking what to tell their kids about where babies come from. The number of people who are like "oh I told him that when mommy and daddy love each other god gives them a baby" blows my mind.. is this seriously what people tell their kids?? (I'm talking a 7 or 8yo who should be able to understand a simple, factual explanation, not like 3 year olds.) One woman claimed that her 10 and 12 year olds bought her explanation of mom and dad laid in bed, held hands and made a wish to the stars and got a baby. WTF? Ugh. Not looking forward to this stage but we're going to try to be honest and age-appropriately factual at least.. I need to find something age appropriate when I asks. If I ever manage to get pregnant and have a baby at the end, she'll be asking. So far when she's asked, it's been at times that it wasn't conducive to have the talk and then she forgets. For us we didn't wait until B asked. We just talk about bodies and babies as it comes up. With B she asked some questions when I was pregnant with K, but we'd already been talking about it before then. It was a little weird at first but I've found it's much easier to just talk about it in little bits over time, because I'm not worried about her reaction, and I can call back and reinforce previous conversations. As hippie-commie-pinko-liberals we also take these opportunities to talk about families who find each other in less traditional ways.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 28, 2017 9:54:33 GMT -5
Even with DH staying home we have the neighbor kid do the lawn and someone comes and deep cleans every few weeks. It's worth the cost to save that stress on our marriage. I'd say do it if you can in any way afford it. I have been paying someone $40/visit every 2 weeks to mow my lawn all summer long. And at the rate my wife keeps complaining about the house being filthy or not as clean as it used to be, a cleaning lady/crew every other week or so might be next. Doesn't she work from home? I realize she's working during that time, but she has no commute, so there's some time she could help with. And your MIL is living with you rent free. Can she not help clean while Carlie naps? There is no way I'd hire a cleaning service when there are 2 able bodied adults taking care of one baby in the home. The lawn service I get. I refuse to push a lawn mower, I wouldn't expect that they would. But they sure as hell can clean the house.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 28, 2017 9:56:23 GMT -5
Abby has never shoved anything in her ear or nose. She likes to store things in her diaper. I went to change her once and found a toy credit card, two quarters and a glue stick. I asked her what has grandma been feeding you? Thing 1 did that too. I found a pair of fingernail clippers on there once. I have no idea why.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 28, 2017 9:56:27 GMT -5
Gwen told me she's getting really tired of me drawing pictures to illustrate what I am talking about. Sorry that's just how mommy's brain works. It was a very bad drawing but I think I did a decent job of explaining to her how an umbilical cord works when she asked me how babies eat when inside mommy's tummy. I guess her and her BFF were having a debate last year over it while BFF's step mom was pregnant.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Aug 28, 2017 9:56:37 GMT -5
Yeah, once I have more I'll probably go the taxable investment account route. Random thought: I'm reading some threads on fb about parents asking what to tell their kids about where babies come from. The number of people who are like "oh I told him that when mommy and daddy love each other god gives them a baby" blows my mind.. is this seriously what people tell their kids?? (I'm talking a 7 or 8yo who should be able to understand a simple, factual explanation, not like 3 year olds.) One woman claimed that her 10 and 12 year olds bought her explanation of mom and dad laid in bed, held hands and made a wish to the stars and got a baby. WTF? Ugh. Not looking forward to this stage but we're going to try to be honest and age-appropriately factual at least.. I'd go back to the "stork brings babies" before I would spew that nonsense. And no, I did not tell my kids about the stork either. However, I am a bookworm, so I looked until I found a book that had language that I liked and used. This was decades ago in SE Asia and it should be easier to find something here and now
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Aug 28, 2017 9:58:59 GMT -5
Gwen asked me last year where Abby came from. So I told her. DH got pissed at me and told me I should have told her babies come from the stork. Yeah you think the kid who asked me "If the world is spinning then how are we going straight on the road" ( to which I replied sorry mommy failed physics ) is going to buy that Abby got in my body thanks to a stork? I'm disappointed by this, I was hoping to find out the answer to that.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Aug 28, 2017 10:04:16 GMT -5
As far as 529s go, we have a grand total of $10k saved for 4 kids. One of whom is a senior in high school. Haven't even thought about the baby yet. I know we're way behind. When we were first married we were so poor it wasn't even a question. Then we started saving a bit, but haven't upped that with increases in our income. We've told the kids we'll help pay for in state tuition. The schools they will most likely go to they can live off campus for fairly cheap. Combining that with having child support money freed up, and I'm not super worried about it. We have saved quite a bit in taxable accounts, so we can pull from those if necessary. We may put a big chunk in for each kid before the end of the year to get the state tax savings.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2017 10:12:54 GMT -5
I'm horrible. I don't remember any sex talks with older son. The Catholic schools teach him that right? Hopefully his Dad said something...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 28, 2017 10:16:53 GMT -5
I'm horrible. I don't remember any sex talks with older son. The Catholic schools teach him that right? Hopefully his Dad said something... I expect both kids will come to me. They already do for every damn uncomfortable conversation I don't want to have.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 28, 2017 10:31:31 GMT -5
I'm horrible. I don't remember any sex talks with older son. The Catholic schools teach him that right? Hopefully his Dad said something... I expect both kids will come to me. They already do for every damn uncomfortable conversation I don't want to have. Same. But I figure it's better than them being afraid to talk to me.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Aug 28, 2017 10:36:25 GMT -5
I'm horrible. I don't remember any sex talks with older son. The Catholic schools teach him that right? Hopefully his Dad said something... I expect both kids will come to me. They already do for every damn uncomfortable conversation I don't want to have. I read "Forever" by Judy Blume and watched Porky's. That was my sex Ed.
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