bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 19, 2011 12:51:06 GMT -5
Before I met DH I used to cook a lot, he would look over my shoulder and tell me I was doing it wrong. I started to leave the kitchen when dinner was being prepared. Now I only cook when he is not home.
I thought the comment about DH buying the machine but not knowing how it works pretty funny. Could be a description of my DH too. And WI Beth, I cant pull start the mower or the snowblower. DH gets mad when I shovel. I really think he likes to do that stuff and does not expect it of me. I pay all the household bills, DH never looks at them...he told me if something happens to me he will figure it out then. I know he is capable, he manages to run his own business with very little input from me.
I agree with the people who say being a stay at home Mom is not a permanent decision - it should only be as long as it is working for both parties. I do believe that a lot of women talk up the importance of being a SAHM because they don't want to work. They just say it is because what they provide to the family is so important.
I have been know to start laundry in the middle of the night. Move it at 4:30 - 5 am, hang it up before I leave for work. I also load the dishwasher and set it to run during the day if I forgot to run it the night before. I really don't know why it would be so important to my teenagers that I be home all day. Some days it would be nice, like today, DH had to run to the MS to administer Meds to DD and I am leaving early to run her to the Dr.
I have a SIL that has been a SAHM for(ever). Her youngest is Graduating from HS this year. She works PT. I figure she would be bored to death without the job. I don't think she will go to FT work, because they don't need the $$.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 19, 2011 13:05:20 GMT -5
I've done laundry in the middle of the night too. Sometimes after dealing with a crying toddler, I'm wide awake. If I remember that laundry needs to be done, I'll go downstairs and deal with it and then go back to bed. We're down to running the dishwasher twice a week or so. We need to buy more dishes/silverware but for now we just wash the stuff we need. It works for us.
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steff
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I'll sleep when I'm dead
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Post by steff on May 19, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
My teen attends an advanced Charter High School. I am taxi service for his internships, for the clubs he is a part of thru the school, and starting this summer for the courses he'll be taking at the Tech college. His High School has NO student parking (they must be dropped off or ride the bus)...the college will NOT issue parking passes for the high school students taking courses (so he can't drive himself to that). Days like today when he was done with testing at 10:30, he didn't have to wait until 4 to leave school. when he played football, I was driving to and from that every day. When he blew out his knee playing football, he lost almost a year when he should have been learning to drive. He didn't get his permit until after turning 16, has to have it a full year before he can drive without an adult...that will be this summer. My husband works nights...until a couple of years ago, we had 1 vehicle. I had to get what I needed to get done during the day before he left for work. Now I have my barbie car. I have volunteered in some way ever since kiddo was in kindergarden. I'm always running errands, picking up something or delivering something that is tied to his school.
As I keep saying, it works for US. There are weeks that hubby sees kiddo maybe once or twice for a few minutes....this way there's always one parent there at a moment's notice for any function or errand.
And it's also my hubby that stares at the new washer like it's a spaceship from mars. Front loader, lots of buttons and lights....He's a country boy, West Texas, one red light town, country boy....until a year ago he couldn't turn on a puter...now he's up to being able to play poker online and he's learning facebook. We're bringing him up to the 21st century in baby steps....lol
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 19, 2011 16:02:16 GMT -5
My mom has one of those new washer/dryer sets. Thing freaked me out, I was so worried I was going to push the wrong button and ruin either hte machines or the clothes inside. I am used to a washer with two/three knobs that I choose the cycle and the water temperature and then pull the knob out and it goes. The new ones confuse me, too many choices!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 19, 2011 16:07:49 GMT -5
Another thought on the men (or anyone) being "clueless". I thought my dad was. I thought mom just took care of him and he had no idea how to cook, clean, get his lunch together in the morning, make sure I was up and ready for school, etc. One year as a Christmas gift, my dad's present to her was a trip for a week to baseball Spring Training in AZ with my Grandparents (Grandparents went every year for a couple months, mom was flying out for a week). My dad surprised my Junior High self a lot (my siblings were in college at the time). Yeah, he didn't cook, we had left overs, but really he was able to handle it all and was not an incompetent fool. He may not have had to do certain things on a daily basis for 30 years, but he could handle it.
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steff
Senior Associate
I'll sleep when I'm dead
Joined: Dec 30, 2010 17:34:24 GMT -5
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Post by steff on May 19, 2011 16:23:00 GMT -5
My mom has one of those new washer/dryer sets. Thing freaked me out, I was so worried I was going to push the wrong button and ruin either hte machines or the clothes inside. I am used to a washer with two/three knobs that I choose the cycle and the water temperature and then pull the knob out and it goes. The new ones confuse me, too many choices! I was even slightly intimidated by the new washer/dryer at first. Wondering, can it REALLY hold as much as they say it can? And scared to overload it. I am breaking the cycle so to speak with my kiddo. Once I got the new washer, I taught kiddo how to do his own laundry. Now it's his responsibility to take care of his own clothes. I also taught him how to cook beyond a toaster oven or microwave. He's close enough to moving out age, that I want him to have the ability to take care of himself when it comes to things such as laundry, cleaning & cooking. Mom doesn't want to clean his apt, do his laundry or bring him dinner every night. and nowhere did I say my hubby is an incompetent fool. I wouldn't have a clue as to how to start the riding lawn mower if my life depended on it. So what if he can't run the washer....it falls under my job description as "housewife" anyway.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 19, 2011 16:28:27 GMT -5
steff - I thought that about my dad. Nothing to do with your DH. Sorry if you thought that.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 20, 2011 11:58:43 GMT -5
and nowhere did I say my hubby is an incompetent fool. I wouldn't have a clue as to how to start the riding lawn mower if my life depended on it. So what if he can't run the washer....it falls under my job description as "housewife" anyway. You didn't, but implying that he can't even feed himself without you there... well, you can see where people would connect the dots all by themselves
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Post by soon2bmomof3 on May 20, 2011 12:41:27 GMT -5
"I am breaking the cycle so to speak with my kiddo. Once I got the new washer, I taught kiddo how to do his own laundry. Now it's his responsibility to take care of his own clothes. I also taught him how to cook beyond a toaster oven or microwave. He's close enough to moving out age, that I want him to have the ability to take care of himself when it comes to things such as laundry, cleaning & cooking. Mom doesn't want to clean his apt, do his laundry or bring him dinner every night."
Good for you steff! My MIL taught DH and BIL how to cook one dish (fried rice) and do laundry before they went off to college.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 20, 2011 13:58:27 GMT -5
Regarding my DH and the washing machine (and the kids). I know that they all know how to start the washing machine when I am not home, because I occasionally find the washing machine with a load in it that I did not start. I have one of those new fangled front loaders. It does not like to be underloaded or overloaded. I am the only person in the household that travels to all 4 corners of the house to collect dirty clothing when I do laundry. I also do not overuse the laundry detergent. If you overload my front loader it will not spin out correctly and every thing will be sopping wet. I have told my family how to do laundry correctly but do not object that they want me to do it if I am home. DH is pretty good about pulling the stuff from the dryer and hanging it up if I am not home.
Steff, I really don't think you need to defend yourself anymore. If your being home is working for your family that is great. The point many were making was that when there comes a point in time that it is no longer working for all involved and the SAM is unwilling to change, then something is wrong.
It is great that you are able to volunteer at the school. I did that my DD's last year or so in Grade School. It was good to know other parents, teachers, and the kids in the class. I am not really the type to teach FT though, and don't think I would have found teaching a rewarding career. I was really glad to go back to work.
(modified to correct spelling errors)
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