Article about white supremacists arrested on route to Pride

[raeoflyte]

Jun 15, 2022 7:04:23 GMT -5 daisylu said:

raeoflyte, this is the first time I have seen your story. I am sorry for all that you and your family has had to go through.

I agree with the poster (Drama?) who said the more progress is made the bigger the backlash.

I believe those who spread that hatred from are the minority, which is why the majority needs to be more active and vocal. 

Truly my life is so easy and good. I don't know what's going on in my head lately, it's just hard to get out of it I guess.

[gs11rmb]

Jun 14, 2022 16:34:00 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I get that there are many benefits of being male, but the issue with being assumed to be a pedophile if you are interested in young children is real.

Think about these scenarios:

Our daycare director resigned. One person who applied to replace her was a youngish male. You should have heard all the ignorant comment. "Why would he want to do that? It is not natural for a man to do that. Women are better than men at this. It wasn't only men saying it.

A man who wants to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher. I don't think we have a male teacher in our district below 4th grade.

If a child is crying in a playground, a man went over, and you happened to come across them 1 minute after he went to console the child and he wan holding them, what would be the first thought in your mind, especially if they were of a different race or did not appear to go together. Too many people would assume that he was up to no good. 

Unfortunately, men are suspect in these situations. We all have prejudices. Gira is right about a man as a Girl Scouts leader.

ETA: How many parents would avoid a Girl Scout group with a man as a leader?

I know this is a little off topic but I've been listening to this Australian podcast called "The Nurse".  It's about a male pediatric nurse who was abusing children on and off the ward for years.  There's no real details about the acts of abuse but more about all the red flags that were ignored.

One of the many sad things about this case is the impact on male nurses and the extra steps they take to not be considered 'suspect'.  There are concerns that that field of nursing will be extremely difficult for men to enter because of the fear that they could be abusers.  It's hard because the vast majority of men would never abuse a child but at the same time the vast majority of abusers are men.  As a parent of an extremely sick and vulnerable child that you want to protect who would you trust more not to hurt your son or daughter?

[pulmonarymd]

Jun 15, 2022 8:14:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jun 14, 2022 16:34:00 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I get that there are many benefits of being male, but the issue with being assumed to be a pedophile if you are interested in young children is real.

Think about these scenarios:

Our daycare director resigned. One person who applied to replace her was a youngish male. You should have heard all the ignorant comment. "Why would he want to do that? It is not natural for a man to do that. Women are better than men at this. It wasn't only men saying it.

A man who wants to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher. I don't think we have a male teacher in our district below 4th grade.

If a child is crying in a playground, a man went over, and you happened to come across them 1 minute after he went to console the child and he wan holding them, what would be the first thought in your mind, especially if they were of a different race or did not appear to go together. Too many people would assume that he was up to no good. 

Unfortunately, men are suspect in these situations. We all have prejudices. Gira is right about a man as a Girl Scouts leader.

ETA: How many parents would avoid a Girl Scout group with a man as a leader?

I know this is a little off topic but I've been listening to this Australian podcast called "The Nurse".  It's about a male pediatric nurse who was abusing children on and off the ward for years.  There's no real details about the acts of abuse but more about all the red flags that were ignored.

One of the many sad things about this case is the impact on male nurses and the extra steps they take to not be considered 'suspect'.  There are concerns that that field of nursing will be extremely difficult for men to enter because of the fear that they could be abusers.  It's hard because the vast majority of men would never abuse a child but at the same time the vast majority of abusers are men.  As a parent of an extremely sick and vulnerable child that you want to protect who would you trust more not to hurt your son or daughter?

But, at a time when nursing needs all the bodies it can get to fill vacant positions, and we tell men they should look at non-traditional fields for employment, that is an obstacle to fixing both problems. In addition, look at all the pushback someone gets when we generalize about women, and yet many people freely generalize about men. I know I have altered my behavior to try to prevent even the appearance of impropriety, and some people are negatively affected as a result. But the risk is not worth it to me. If you put any other groups name into the place where you have men, think of the outrage there would be.

[gs11rmb]

pulmonarymd I completely agree with you!  It's a very sad state of affairs and must be difficult for men in your (or similar) positions to have to factor in the thought that you must overtly signal that you are not an abuser.

[billisonboard]

Jun 15, 2022 8:14:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jun 14, 2022 16:34:00 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I get that there are many benefits of being male, but the issue with being assumed to be a pedophile if you are interested in young children is real.

Think about these scenarios:

Our daycare director resigned. One person who applied to replace her was a youngish male. You should have heard all the ignorant comment. "Why would he want to do that? It is not natural for a man to do that. Women are better than men at this. It wasn't only men saying it.

A man who wants to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher. I don't think we have a male teacher in our district below 4th grade.

If a child is crying in a playground, a man went over, and you happened to come across them 1 minute after he went to console the child and he wan holding them, what would be the first thought in your mind, especially if they were of a different race or did not appear to go together. Too many people would assume that he was up to no good. 

Unfortunately, men are suspect in these situations. We all have prejudices. Gira is right about a man as a Girl Scouts leader.

ETA: How many parents would avoid a Girl Scout group with a man as a leader?

I know this is a little off topic but I've been listening to this Australian podcast called "The Nurse".  It's about a male pediatric nurse who was abusing children on and off the ward for years.  There's no real details about the acts of abuse but more about all the red flags that were ignored.

One of the many sad things about this case is the impact on male nurses and the extra steps they take to not be considered 'suspect'.  There are concerns that that field of nursing will be extremely difficult for men to enter because of the fear that they could be abusers.  It's hard because the vast majority of men would never abuse a child but at the same time the vast majority of abusers are men.  As a parent of an extremely sick and vulnerable child that you want to protect who would you trust more not to hurt your son or daughter?

Actually what is hard is dealing with the myth that men are "the vast majority of abusers":

In the United States, more perpetrators of child abuse were women than men. In 2020, about 248,335 perpetrators of child abuse were women, compared to 225,020 male perpetrators. link

[pulmonarymd]

Jun 15, 2022 9:42:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2022 8:14:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I know this is a little off topic but I've been listening to this Australian podcast called "The Nurse".  It's about a male pediatric nurse who was abusing children on and off the ward for years.  There's no real details about the acts of abuse but more about all the red flags that were ignored.

One of the many sad things about this case is the impact on male nurses and the extra steps they take to not be considered 'suspect'.  There are concerns that that field of nursing will be extremely difficult for men to enter because of the fear that they could be abusers.  It's hard because the vast majority of men would never abuse a child but at the same time the vast majority of abusers are men.  As a parent of an extremely sick and vulnerable child that you want to protect who would you trust more not to hurt your son or daughter?

Actually what is hard is dealing with the myth that men are "the vast majority of abusers":

In the United States, more perpetrators of child abuse were women than men. In 2020, about 248,335 perpetrators of child abuse were women, compared to 225,020 male perpetrators. link

While true, most people are more concerned about sexual abuse, which is why men are suspect in these environments

[gs11rmb]

Jun 15, 2022 9:42:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2022 8:14:46 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I know this is a little off topic but I've been listening to this Australian podcast called "The Nurse".  It's about a male pediatric nurse who was abusing children on and off the ward for years.  There's no real details about the acts of abuse but more about all the red flags that were ignored.

One of the many sad things about this case is the impact on male nurses and the extra steps they take to not be considered 'suspect'.  There are concerns that that field of nursing will be extremely difficult for men to enter because of the fear that they could be abusers.  It's hard because the vast majority of men would never abuse a child but at the same time the vast majority of abusers are men.  As a parent of an extremely sick and vulnerable child that you want to protect who would you trust more not to hurt your son or daughter?

Actually what is hard is dealing with the myth that men are "the vast majority of abusers":

In the United States, more perpetrators of child abuse were women than men. In 2020, about 248,335 perpetrators of child abuse were women, compared to 225,020 male perpetrators. link

Bill those statistics are not surprising because children are at their most vulnerable in the home and women remain primary caregivers.

In this particular instance (the podcast) the issue is about the grooming and sexual abuse of children by someone outside the home or family.  I don't have any data on this issue but I would be shocked to find out women make up a higher proportion of offenders then men.

[nidena]

Jun 15, 2022 10:00:21 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jun 15, 2022 9:42:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Actually what is hard is dealing with the myth that men are "the vast majority of abusers":

In the United States, more perpetrators of child abuse were women than men. In 2020, about 248,335 perpetrators of child abuse were women, compared to 225,020 male perpetrators. link

Bill those statistics are not surprising because children are at their most vulnerable in the home and women remain primary caregivers.

In this particular instance (the podcast) the issue is about the grooming and sexual abuse of children by someone outside the home or family.  I don't have any data on this issue but I would be shocked to find out women make up a higher proportion of offenders then men.

An interesting compilation of statistics from 2017ish (and many are Colorado focused)...women make up 1-20% of offenders is one nugget.  Sources are at the end of the document.

Because of sexual abuse perception, Big Brothers/Big Sisters rarely matches a Big Bro/Little Sis together but Big Sis do have Little Bros.

[billisonboard]

Jun 15, 2022 10:00:21 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jun 15, 2022 9:42:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Actually what is hard is dealing with the myth that men are "the vast majority of abusers":

In the United States, more perpetrators of child abuse were women than men. In 2020, about 248,335 perpetrators of child abuse were women, compared to 225,020 male perpetrators. link

Bill those statistics are not surprising because children are at their most vulnerable in the home and women remain primary caregivers.

In this particular instance (the podcast) the issue is about the grooming and sexual abuse of children by someone outside the home or family.  I don't have any data on this issue but I would be shocked to find out women make up a higher proportion of offenders then men.

, you might be correct "the vast majority of abusers are men" in that incredibly miniscule subset of abusers.

[nidena]

Jun 14, 2022 15:56:25 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

I vaguely remember from a years ago college class the idea that a small percentage of Blacks in a community was considered an okay "novelty" but at some percentage point they became a perceived threat for some. I would think the same type concept would be true of other groups. True for the larger society as well. Some House members and a Senator or two being Black okay, but President? Omg! That cute couple on the corner, particularly how he does those wonderful flowers in their yard, isn't a big deal (as long as they don't hold hands and kiss in public) but a Lesbian couple kissing on prime time television? Too far. 

I think we have come a long way. Sad it is happening but I don't think we would be seeing this backlash if we hadn't. 

Yet, ironically (or unironically) lesbian porn is the most viewed, according to this PornHub study.

In regards to this thread, in general, I think that the leaders of these hate groups take advantage of the fact that so many of our young people (particularly young men and boys) have not been taught/shown how to recognize or process negative emotions and, through grooming, it's turned into hate.

People want to belong...want to have a group (by this, I mean, one other person or more)...who accepts them...who "loves" them...who encourage them.

They don't have that.  And it's worse now, two years post-lockdown for the pandemic.

[Bonny]

Jun 14, 2022 18:31:50 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Jun 14, 2022 18:14:14 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Why?  It's not like he ever really provided a lot of value before....  

I'll answer for visibility. I can't moderate someone I have blocked. sadly, I had to block him before I earned myself a vacation in responding to some of his posts. there's a lot of hateful posters I'd love to block. to answer your immediate question, if he goes over the top in posting his horrid opinions of women, I'd be deleting his post and documenting in our archives the post that was the straw that broke this camel's back. 

I know I'm late to the party and just reading this thread.

My father was a lot like this and I think it's pretty common for this generation. He would be in his mid 80s if he were still alive. The last few years of his life I had to limit my interaction with him. He became so hateful. I'll blame dementia and watching too much Fox News. I've also wondered if he had Asberger's. I can only recall three friends during the time I was growing up.

The sad thing is that his mom was esentially a single parent and my mom passed him in earnings starting in 1973. But that didn't stop his comments. As others have mentioned before he had a serious "sour grapes" attitude. Unfortunately my brother seems to have gone in a similar direction; a big fan of Tucker Carlson and Fox News.   I've had to block him on F.B. as some of the comments are so offensive and just plain wrong.

[gs11rmb]

Jun 15, 2022 10:19:22 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2022 10:00:21 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Bill those statistics are not surprising because children are at their most vulnerable in the home and women remain primary caregivers.

In this particular instance (the podcast) the issue is about the grooming and sexual abuse of children by someone outside the home or family.  I don't have any data on this issue but I would be shocked to find out women make up a higher proportion of offenders then men.

, you might be correct "the vast majority of abusers are men" in that incredibly miniscule subset of abusers.

I'm not sure why you're arguing with me.  I said in my initial post that the vast majority of men would never abuse a child.

[Tennesseer]

It would not surprise me if Tennessee dug up John T Scopes' corpse so they could put him on trial again, find him guilty and then hang him.

Tenn. AG leads action against anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ+ students

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (WVLT) - Tennessee Attorney General Herbert H. Slatery III is leading action opposing anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ+ students across the state, according to a release from Slatery’s office.

Specifically, Slatery joined 26 other attorneys general in signing a letter to President Joe Biden asking him to withdraw a recent set of guidelines from the U.S. Department of Agriculture on sex discrimination for programs that receive federal nutrition assistance. In the letter, Slatery said that the guidance imposes unlawful regulations on schools.

On May 5, the USDA’s Food and Nutrition Service (FNS) announced that it would be expanding its protections on sex discrimination found in Title IX to include discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, basing the move on the Supreme Court decision in Bostock v. Clayton County. In the case, the court ruled that discrimination protections under Title IX of the Civil Rights Act also extend to those discriminated against based on gender identity or sexual orientation.

USDA officials said the move stands in line with Biden’s executive order preventing discrimination based on sexuality or gender identity.

We must recognize the vulnerability of the LGBTQI+ communities and provide them with an avenue to grieve any discrimination they face. We hope that by standing firm against these inequities, we will help bring about much-needed change,” said Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack.

The letter was signed by attorneys general from the following states: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wyoming.

Complete article here: Tenn. AG leads action against anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ+ students

[billisonboard]

Jun 15, 2022 11:06:43 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Jun 15, 2022 10:19:22 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

, you might be correct "the vast majority of abusers are men" in that incredibly miniscule subset of abusers.

I'm not sure why you're arguing with me.  I said in my initial post that the vast majority of men would never abuse a child.

Thought I was working to clarify. Didn't mean it to be personal.

[gs11rmb]

Jun 15, 2022 11:12:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2022 11:06:43 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I'm not sure why you're arguing with me.  I said in my initial post that the vast majority of men would never abuse a child.

Thought I was working to clarify. Didn't mean it to be personal.

Apologies.  I misunderstood!

[chiver78]

Jun 15, 2022 11:05:35 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Jun 14, 2022 18:31:50 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'll answer for visibility. I can't moderate someone I have blocked. sadly, I had to block him before I earned myself a vacation in responding to some of his posts. there's a lot of hateful posters I'd love to block. to answer your immediate question, if he goes over the top in posting his horrid opinions of women, I'd be deleting his post and documenting in our archives the post that was the straw that broke this camel's back. 

I know I'm late to the party and just reading this thread.

My father was a lot like this and I think it's pretty common for this generation. He would be in his mid 80s if he were still alive. The last few years of his life I had to limit my interaction with him. He became so hateful. I'll blame dementia and watching too much Fox News. I've also wondered if he had Asberger's. I can only recall three friends during the time I was growing up.

The sad thing is that his mom was esentially a single parent and my mom passed him in earnings starting in 1973. But that didn't stop his comments. As others have mentioned before he had a serious "sour grapes" attitude. Unfortunately my brother seems to have gone in a similar direction; a big fan of Tucker Carlson and Fox News.   I've had to block him on F.B. as some of the comments are so offensive and just plain wrong.

it may well be, but it doesn't excuse it. nor does it mean anyone the vitriol is aimed at has to listen to it. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jun 14, 2022 16:20:58 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I was reading about that in relation to another subject I think it was shaving legs.  I will never be comfortable without shaving them because I have been conditioned since I was a kid to feel it is unacceptable.  Even though logically I know this is stupid I am fighting against decades of societal programming.  I am not really "choosing" to shave my legs at all.  I'm going with my programming and justifying the hypocrisy.

It might have been the book I just mentioned on the reading thread.

That caused quite an existenstial crisis.  

Can’t it just be that you like the feeling of your legs shaved?  Yeah, it may be a societal norm, but do you do it for you too?

I did this mental exercise when I got sick.  Shaving my legs was the absolute last thing I could do, but I LIKED the feeling of freshly shaved legs.  Me, not TD, not society….ME.  One of the first things my sister did when she visited was she shaved my legs for me, and I felt better.  It wasn’t that I was shaving for appearances, or TD but me.  Is that a bad thing?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jun 14, 2022 16:34:00 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I get that there are many benefits of being male, but the issue with being assumed to be a pedophile if you are interested in young children is real.

Think about these scenarios:

Our daycare director resigned. One person who applied to replace her was a youngish male. You should have heard all the ignorant comment. "Why would he want to do that? It is not natural for a man to do that. Women are better than men at this. It wasn't only men saying it.

A man who wants to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher. I don't think we have a male teacher in our district below 4th grade.

If a child is crying in a playground, a man went over, and you happened to come across them 1 minute after he went to console the child and he wan holding them, what would be the first thought in your mind, especially if they were of a different race or did not appear to go together. Too many people would assume that he was up to no good. 

Unfortunately, men are suspect in these situations. We all have prejudices. Gira is right about a man as a Girl Scouts leader.

ETA: How many parents would avoid a Girl Scout group with a man as a leader?

I’m going to go a bit further.  My dad was sitting outside the BX on base, waiting for my mom to finish shopping.  There was an automatic door, an area with benches and kiosks, and another set of automatic doors leading to the parking lot.  A toddler…2-3 years old came running through the first set of doors (BX side).  Dad expected a woman to be following, but none came.  The kiosks were unmanned, my dad was the only one there.  For about 10 min, the toddler flitted next to the second set of doors that lead to the parking lot, opening them but not going through.  Dad was loathe to collect the child and bring him in, but he’d have moved had the child gone through that second set of doors.  Luckily, a woman came out and my dad flagged her, told her his situation and SHE took the child back into the BX to find his mom.  

My 60 year old dad in 1994 was reluctant to touch a child he didn’t know…..only because of the fear that he might be blamed for something untoward.  

[pulmonarymd]

Jun 15, 2022 11:58:29 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Jun 14, 2022 16:34:00 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

I get that there are many benefits of being male, but the issue with being assumed to be a pedophile if you are interested in young children is real.

Think about these scenarios:

Our daycare director resigned. One person who applied to replace her was a youngish male. You should have heard all the ignorant comment. "Why would he want to do that? It is not natural for a man to do that. Women are better than men at this. It wasn't only men saying it.

A man who wants to be a kindergarten or first grade teacher. I don't think we have a male teacher in our district below 4th grade.

If a child is crying in a playground, a man went over, and you happened to come across them 1 minute after he went to console the child and he wan holding them, what would be the first thought in your mind, especially if they were of a different race or did not appear to go together. Too many people would assume that he was up to no good. 

Unfortunately, men are suspect in these situations. We all have prejudices. Gira is right about a man as a Girl Scouts leader.

ETA: How many parents would avoid a Girl Scout group with a man as a leader?

I’m going to go a bit further.  My dad was sitting outside the BX on base, waiting for my mom to finish shopping.  There was an automatic door, an area with benches and kiosks, and another set of automatic doors leading to the parking lot.  A toddler…2-3 years old came running through the first set of doors (BX side).  Dad expected a woman to be following, but none came.  The kiosks were unmanned, my dad was the only one there.  For about 10 min, the toddler flitted next to the second set of doors that lead to the parking lot, opening them but not going through.  Dad was loathe to collect the child and bring him in, but he’d have moved had the child gone through that second set of doors.  Luckily, a woman came out and my dad flagged her, told her his situation and SHE took the child back into the BX to find his mom.  

My 60 year old dad in 1994 was reluctant to touch a child he didn’t know…..only because of the fear that he might be blamed for something untoward.  

I would have done exactly what your dad did. Exactly my point

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Getting back to the OP….my nephew came out as gay several years ago.  It didn’t surprise me much, and I suspect that one of my nieces might be too.  But the first thing my sister did was send my brother a book about Praying Away the Gay.  I was appalled.  My brother very conservative is dealing well with it though, and I’m incredibly proud of m6 nephew and what h3 has accomplished.

I think one of my sister’s daughters might be too, and suspect it has a lot to do with her attitude to my sister.  This will not go well.

[billisonboard]

Jun 15, 2022 12:07:28 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Getting back to the OP….my nephew came out as gay several years ago.  It didn’t surprise me much, and I suspect that one of my nieces might be too.  But the first thing my sister did was send my brother a book about Praying Away the Gay.  I was appalled.  My brother very conservative is dealing well with it though, and I’m incredibly proud of m6 nephew and what h3 has accomplished.

I think one of my sister’s daughters might be too, and suspect it has a lot to do with her attitude to my sister.  This will not go well.

Again just to offer a counterpoint:

While it might not go well with immediate family, there are plenty of very visible "adoptive families" around now for people rejected by their birth families when they come out, including religious ones if that is the person's need. They are no longer cast into a dark abyss.

[daisylu]

DD(23) told me she was asexual a couple of years ago. I already knew. DS(20) does not talk about things like that, but I am pretty sure he is as well. ETA: When anyone asks why he doesn't have a GF, he just says "I don't have money to spend on anyone". 

There will likely be no grandchildren in my future, and I am more than OK with that. (My sister had her kids when mine were teens, so I have had enough of kids.   

[raeoflyte]

Jun 15, 2022 12:21:27 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2022 12:07:28 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Getting back to the OP….my nephew came out as gay several years ago.  It didn’t surprise me much, and I suspect that one of my nieces might be too.  But the first thing my sister did was send my brother a book about Praying Away the Gay.  I was appalled.  My brother very conservative is dealing well with it though, and I’m incredibly proud of m6 nephew and what h3 has accomplished.

I think one of my sister’s daughters might be too, and suspect it has a lot to do with her attitude to my sister.  This will not go well.

Again just to offer a counterpoint:

While it might not go well with immediate family, there are plenty of very visible "adoptive families" around now for people rejected by their birth families when they come out, including religious ones if that is the person's need. They are no longer cast into a dark abyss.

Found family is wonderful. It's not the same as being accepted and loved by your own family though.

Dh and I still hope to foster queer youth once ours are older. I have little hope that another 5-10 years will reduce the need for foster parents specifically for those kids.

[nidena]

A friend of mine shared a mocking meme of one of our SCOTUS members saying straight people would soon be extinct and I had to laugh.  They chuckled, too, when I commented "Are they breeding out the straight gene?  Is this like trying for a prize winning tomato?"  I don't think a SCOTUS member said it but I don't see it as being something they *wouldn't* say.

It just really brings to light how narrowminded folx are.

A video creator of FB was talking about grade school kids choosing their own pronouns and that they would fail third grade because they didn't know the proper use of pronouns if they use "they" in the singular...not even paying attention to the fact that she was referring to each child as "they/them/their" in the same way that they would do so themselves.  She ended by saying "Sometimes you just need a mirror to see stupid" while referring to the children and I, with much difficulty, did not respond to that statement.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Jun 14, 2022 10:49:12 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I was going to post this is current events but my commentary isn't so much about the article as what it brings up for me. Thread can of course be moved if needed.


I'm feeling really defeated. My first pride parade was 1998 in NYC. It was before dh transitioned and we had only been out a year. We didn't even really know anyone else who was queer. I had just graduated high-school and we went on a school theater trip to New York. Our last day we were free to go out on our own which just happened to coincide with Pride. Our tour guide pulled us aside and gave us directions to take the subway to the village to watch the parade. We walked out of the subway station, and I swear it was 4 miles of d.y.k.e.s on bikes. It was like being in another world.

We've never been back to NY, but we found our place at home. Joined the lgbtq group at college and made friends. Eventually dh transitioned. We always go to pride here and bring the kids now. It's important to us, its always a great time and it exposes the kids to queer culture outside of us which is a little wonky since societally we are viewed and treated as a straight couple.

We've always had pretty good interactions. My last year of high-school was hard when I realized that many of my friends were actually awful behind my back, and a few random encounters that were nerve wracking. But We've always been out at work, open with the kids and encourage them to tell or not tell as they feel comfortable with their peers and we talk about it/us as it comes up in straight circles.

When we could finally legally be married in 2012 I was happy but cautious. Figured we'd take advantage of it while we could. But since then I got really comfortable. I felt like things had changed. I felt safe. God damnit I really did. I feel stupid for letting myself get so comfortable. I'm pissed off and want to give a big fuck you to the entire world. And I'm just completely utterly exhausted and hopeless. I don't want to fight for my right to just be ignored. That's all I want is to be ignored as a non-issue. Live my life, raise my kids.

I need to find something to do to make me feel like we can make things better, but I have no idea what that is. I'll still go to pride this year and bring my kids, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, and I've never felt that way in almost 25 years. We're going backwards.


www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-61773358

I don't have anything to really say, just that I'm sorry it's like this. 

[finnime]

Thank you for your OP, raeoflyte. I had skimmed the news story when it first came out without much thought about the wider impact of hate-mongering against LGBTQ+ people.

I agree with above posters who say that these extremist groups are in their death throes. Like snakes, that is when they are most dangerous. Because we are sadly and painfully human there will always be hate, I think. But I really do believe successive generations are increasingly open and accepting of each other in general. Maybe that's just me in my bubble thinking so.

The internet has fanned acceptance and peace and unfortunately also given voice to the increasingly small groups focused on hate.

One thing I remember from school is that when all the studies on impact of televsision (internet not yet widely available) were collated, the conclusion was that it did not make people more violent. It did make people believe other people were more violent. Maybe that is true of hate, too. If we can just keep from throwing away progress that has been made. . .

I am very glad for this forum.

[haapai]

There's something about this group that gets under my skin too.  I can't quite put a finger on it.  It's probably the distances that they traveled and how dispersed their home addresses were.  The level of coordination and training is also remarkable.  These guys traveled a long ways to cause trouble. 

I hope that some of them parked poorly in a strange city and got their vehicles towed. 

[Tennesseer]

Opinion: Americans are facing a Rainbow Scare -- and it may get worse before it gets better

As Pride celebrations take place around the world this month, marking more than 50 years of LGBTQ+ visibility, extreme right groups in localities nationwide have been acting like it’s pre-Stonewall. And they’re targeting our children.

Take the far-right extremist group the Proud Boys. According to local reports, a group of men believed to be affiliated with them stormed into a drag queen story hour at the San Lorenzo, California library this past week, terrifying children and their parents and librarians. Or the 31 people with white nationalist ties arrested for trying to riot at an Idaho Pride event this weekend.

We have entered the era of the Rainbow Scare.

The Rainbow Scare has haunting echoes of the Red Scare and related Lavender Scare (as historian David K. Johnson coined it) from the mid-20th century, when fears about the spread of communism during the Cold War emboldened Republican Sen. Joseph McCarthy of Wisconsin and others in the US government to persecute and ostracize people who were deemed to be “communist sympathizers,” cavorting with the Soviet enemy. LGBTQ+ people were among them – fired from their jobs, forced to undergo psychiatric treatment and institutionalization, including electric shock treatment, and prosecuted as security threats to the nation.

This was the era when then-President Dwight Eisenhower signed Executive Order 10450, which helped fuel a national witch-hunt to purge queer Americans from the federal government. Around 5,000 federal agency employees lost their jobs on the basis of their sexual orientation. McCarthy and other leaders used LGBTQ+ people as a wedge issue and scare tactic to justify state-sponsored discrimination, just as right-wing leaders are trying to today.

Today, extreme right officials and community leaders are heinously using LGBTQ+ students as pawns to stoke fear (and win votes). Banning books, censoring curricula and silencing LGBTQ+ students and teachers are the latest tactics in the right’s efforts to perpetuate regressive discrimination under the guise of a culture war.

The Rainbow Scare is evident in the more than 200 bills in state legislatures that aim to or already have stripped LGBTQ+ and specifically transgender kids of the right to access life-saving health care, to play sports or even to talk about orientation or gender identity in schools. It’s there in the coordinated efforts to ban books in libraries and schools that have LGBTQ+ characters or themes. And in bills like the one passed by the Ohio House of Representatives, which would – in addition to banning trans girls from sports – require a genital exam and verification by a doctor if a student’s sex were questioned.

Even in progressive localities, like my town in Connecticut, a blue state that was second to pass marriage equality, right-wing school board officials recently, secretly stripped explicit mention of LGBTQ+ students from its Title IX policy. They apparently hoped no one would notice. But we did. The board’s response: “This policy covers all students, whether or not certain language is included.” The sting is felt regardless.

While America is one of the most egregious offenders, the regression isn’t just limited to the US. Australian actress Rebel Wilson was recently outed by the Sydney Morning Herald. The paper apologized, but this is the kind of media tactic that frequently plagued LGBTQ+ celebrities some decades ago. Coming out has long been misconstrued as a one-time action rather than a long, often difficult process, but many of us believed our culture had evolved enough to acknowledge that taking away a queer person’s agency to own their own narrative causes undue harm.

That harm is measurable. The kids are not all right.

Compounded by the pandemic, children are facing higher rates of anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. LGBTQ+ children and teens fare even worse. 73% of LGBTQ youth have experienced symptoms of anxiety, according to a recent study by the Trevor Project, a nonprofit devoted to suicide prevention among LGTBQ youth. And another 73% of LGBTQ youth reported that they have experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Indeed, it feels there is a mounting effort to return to McCarthyism, to punish people for free thinking or for honoring our differences. The good news this time around is that, unlike in the 1950s, the majority are on the right side of history.

Support for LGBTQ+ people is at an all-time high, with almost eight in 10 Americans believing we should have laws that protect us from discrimination, which includes almost two-thirds of Republicans, according to a 2022 poll by the Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI). A record number of Americans, 62%, have accepted LGBTQ+ people into the mainstream and are “satisfied” with our acceptance, according to a 2022 Gallup poll. And the highest number ever, 71%, of Americans support marriage equality, according to another 2022 Gallup poll.

I’m heartened by the outpouring of LGBTQ+ support from allies, including leaders, elected officials who are Republican and still stand with their LGBTQ+ constituents, teachers who risk their own livelihoods to provide affirming spaces for their queer students; parents who take the time to learn and grow and support their children and the many localities and small towns across America that are standing up their first Pride events this year.

All of which raises the question, where is all this hate coming from?

Clearly, the Rainbow Scare-mongers are in the minority. Perhaps they’re getting louder and more unscrupulous in desperate, last-ditch efforts to win a losing battle. It’s possible because they are fighting dirty, that they will make headway and win more seats on school boards and other roles, pushing for harmful rollbacks of gains and protections for LGBTQ+ students and communities. It may get worse before it gets better.

We will continue to stand up and speak out, to fight for the safety of our children – so that they can be out and proud and go on to do great things in the world. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

My five-year-old recently brought home a drawing that he made which read, “A rainbow exploded near my mom. Then she used an umbrella to walk through the rainbow.”

May our proverbial umbrellas – allies and advocacy – protect us from the Rainbow Scare, and may we walk confidently through the storm, our rainbows shining brightly, in their glorious, full spectrum of colors.

Opinion: Americans are facing a Rainbow Scare -- and it may get worse before it gets better

[teen persuasion]

... extreme right groups in localities nationwide have been ... targeting our children.


Take the far-right extremist group the Proud Boys ... a group of men believed to be affiliated with them stormed into a drag queen story hour ... terrifying children and their parents and librarians.


<snip>


Today, extreme right officials and community leaders are heinously using ... students as pawns to stoke fear (and win votes). Banning books, censoring curricula and silencing LGBTQ+ students and teachers ...


... more than 200 bills in state legislatures that aim to or already have stripped LGBTQ+ and specifically transgender kids of the right to access life-saving health care, to play sports or even to talk about orientation or gender identity in schools.

... bills like the one passed by the Ohio House of Representatives, which would – in addition to banning trans girls from sports – require a genital exam and verification by a doctor if a student’s sex were questioned...

And we wonder why some teens are feeling so threatened that they buy guns, as soon as they are legally able to, and begin shooting people. Hmm, now what has changed in the recent past, compared to our childhoods?

[raeoflyte]

Jun 16, 2022 12:39:13 GMT -5 teen persuasion said:

... extreme right groups in localities nationwide have been ... targeting our children.


Take the far-right extremist group the Proud Boys ... a group of men believed to be affiliated with them stormed into a drag queen story hour ... terrifying children and their parents and librarians.


<snip>


Today, extreme right officials and community leaders are heinously using ... students as pawns to stoke fear (and win votes). Banning books, censoring curricula and silencing LGBTQ+ students and teachers ...


... more than 200 bills in state legislatures that aim to or already have stripped LGBTQ+ and specifically transgender kids of the right to access life-saving health care, to play sports or even to talk about orientation or gender identity in schools.

... bills like the one passed by the Ohio House of Representatives, which would – in addition to banning trans girls from sports – require a genital exam and verification by a doctor if a student’s sex were questioned...

And we wonder why some teens are feeling so threatened that they buy guns, as soon as they are legally able to, and begin shooting people. Hmm, now what has changed in the recent past, compared to our childhoods?

I don't get what you mean?