what are you doing right now?

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2022 8:23:04 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Aug 3, 2022 4:59:51 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I have the same kind of relationship with God. I'm baptized catholic but don't really attend church or do what I'm supposed to do as far as catholic beliefs. I live my life for myself and just try to be an overall good person.

I don't believe that you have to get married because "it's what you're supposed to be doing." I feel like when it's time for you to get married you'll be so ready that you'll feel it so strongly you'll want to throw yourself in head first. In my experience with things doing something because you feel like you're supposed to or because it's the logical next step doesn't work out so well. JMO. Carry on.

I rarely discuss religion, as it is a personal experience to me. But if you can believe your God things accepts things that most bible thumpers do not, like homosexuality or female equality, why stick on the "living in sin" issue? Shouldn't we expect religion to evolve just like everything else?

There is a concept in Christian theology called progressive revelation which is the idea that different divine truths are revealed at different times in the human experience, often to be replaced by a deeper knowledge or understanding.  

Years ago I really freaked out the priest with whom I was studying when I said I believed creation to be an ongoing dynamic event, not a once-and-done Adam and Eve thing.  And that further I believe the Creator to be equally dynamic, not a static being.  The priest was going through his mid-life crisis, watching his body, his church, his family undergo profound changes, and he said he needed to believe in an unchanging and unchangeable God as an anchor point in an everchanging world.

[Deleted]

Thinking of you Drama. Hugs.

[andi9899]

Aug 3, 2022 10:24:22 GMT -5 bean29 said:

So, our computers at work are down. Read about Taz, UC, and Andi’s Covid concerns and was texting DS. Suggested he get a covid vaccine-He said “I see no point in getting the vaccine.” I just found an Ant crawling on my leg. Hope he originated from work, not my home.

They're saying it's not a matter of if but when we'll be getting covid. I hope when he gets it that it's a mild case but he's rolling the dice by not getting the vaccine.

[countrygirl2]

And yes, I have been baptized as a catholic, mom's family was, a big part of why I'm not included.
And then at a later time as nondenominational, by immersion, so was DD. But things changed and she was not accepted, so did it for me.

Enough of that.

I am waiting for her crew to arrive for our semi annual conference. I turned the AC colder because several are should we say very plus size and 76 would likely kill them. So turned it to 73.  It is 88 out and 78% humidity, it is HOT and MISERABLE out there. And I need to mow this afternoon, going to rain the rest of the week. Though I'm thinking of going to the pool this afternoon

I got the house picked up, no mopping or dusting but the clutter put up. That is what is wrong with DD's home, it was the same at their big house, just too much clutter.

Hubs and little guy took off at 4 this morning, they were both ready to go. I got lots of hugs and little guy wanting us to come up. He wanted me to go. But right now didn't want to spend another $1500 or so to just go up and come right back in a couple of days. Hoping we can go up later this year, once the house is finished. Hubs is getting there and I need to go down when he comes back and clean appliances and things like that. But first he is putting in new countertops and sink in there so will really make it look good and painting of course.  He put new tile in the bathroom and I really think we are going to have to redo the kitchen flooring, what a shame.

And good news, they called from the pool and they found my sun glasses!! They would have done noone else any good, unless they got new lenses put in them, so we will run over and pick them up this afternoon. I have got to be more careful, one day dropped my wallet, now my sunglasses, lucky there are still honest people.

They want us to move up, DIL keeps talking to hubs, he says what would I do. Knowing son really doesn't have a lot of friends that come to the house I know where they would be. Most everyone he works with are repubs, I think he is the only dem. We sure know how to isolate ourselves. I told them wait, his mom just passed and that takes off a lot of time for him. And the one house will be finished before long. He says I have 3 years worth of work here, I said stuff you don't need to do. We will see how it goes. I also have to check and see about the medicaid up there. 

[Deleted]

Man I swear. 

My Mom just called me and said DHS came to my house looking for my daughter because somebody reported that DGD2 was being abused.

I have a good idea who did it. The baby’s father has been dating a NUT who has been stalking and harassing DD. This girl is younger than DD and a crazy person, she’s in a gang and has warrants for her arrest and is obsessed with DD even though DD couldn’t care less about her child’s father. 

I told DD a while back to take all the stuff she screenshot from this fool harassing her online, print it out and take it to the police, so there’s a record of her actions in case anything ever happens, but of course, nobody ever listens to me. 

It seems like there’s always one mess right after another!

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 3, 2022 9:38:46 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Aug 3, 2022 9:14:56 GMT -5 skeeter said:

Sitting here literally crying as I read your updates NomoreDramaQ1015 and hoping for a miracle to happen.

Been where you are and it totally sucks big time.  Cannot tell you just how very sorry I am that you and your entire family are going through this.

So have I.  It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to ever do.

I'm so very sorry, Drama.  

There are no words.  This isn't what I expected to read this morning.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Please take this away from me.
Please tell Costco to stop letting me buy it.

[swamp]

I will take one for the team and it all from you.  I'm nice like that. 

[giramomma]

Aug 3, 2022 12:13:26 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Please take this away from me.
Please tell Costco to stop letting me buy it.

OMG. I LOVE that stuff.  Now I want it.

[busymom]

@pinkcshmere, you need to write a book.  I feel badly because you shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this drama.  Make sure DHS knows about crazy girlfriend.  

[bean29]

Aug 3, 2022 11:16:52 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 3, 2022 10:24:22 GMT -5 bean29 said:

So, our computers at work are down. Read about Taz, UC, and Andi’s Covid concerns and was texting DS. Suggested he get a covid vaccine-He said “I see no point in getting the vaccine.” I just found an Ant crawling on my leg. Hope he originated from work, not my home.

They're saying it's not a matter of if but when we'll be getting covid. I hope when he gets it that it's a mild case but he's rolling the dice by not getting the vaccine.

He did have Covid about a year ago, I just wanted him to get boosted, so if it is worse the 2nd X his immune system can fight it off.

[weltschmerz]

Aug 2, 2022 16:10:26 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

If you don’t want to read anything about God and religion, please feel free to keep scrolling. 

All of these deaths have been constant reminders of my own mortality. I lean more toward spirituality than being religious. That might not make sense to anyone but me, and that’s okay. To ME, that means I am more interested in having my own personal relationship with God, than regularly attending church of a specific denomination. I believe the different denominations are things man came up with, so I’m not impressed with all of that, even though I know the Bible says for us to assemble ourselves.

Because I’ve been constantly reminded of my own mortality because of all these deaths, I think about the biggest thing in my life that I’m doing, that I know is not pleasing to God. That is living in sin with Mister, because we aren’t married.

Every time Mister has mentioned marriage, I have deflected, ducked and dodged, and tried to avoid the subject. So it’s not on him that we aren’t married, it’s on me. We have been in a serious relationship for 7 years now, not including the time before that, when we were just playing around with each other.

So when I think about the things I should be doing according to my beliefs, and the things I need to do to get my life together, my life with Mister is a biggie. 

A few months ago, he brought marriage up again and wanted to do it this year. He threw July out there as the month we could do it. I ducked and dodged, hemmed and hawed, until he left it alone. 

Now I feel some type of way about “living in sin”, and I’m not sure what to do about it. We both say we are stuck with each other, but I still have trouble wrapping my mind around getting married. But I also don’t want to keep sinning in God’s eyes. At this point, I may have deflected and avoided so often that Mister doesn’t even want it anymore.

Anyway, that is some of the stuff that was on my mind yesterday.

Back when I was a Christian, I married my first husband. It was the right thing to do, according to my religion.   Living together in sin was a stirct no-no.
It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Had I lived with him even for a little while, I would have realized what an abusive alcoholic he was, and he damn near killed me. 

[chiver78]

so I finally called to find out why the PD detail price came back so high, and found out that they billed for a full 8h day. um no, I don't think so. 4h minimum at $282 per officer. I'm glad I took pics that morning of the progress, b/c I've got some timestamped pics that show when they definitely were NOT here that back up a FB post (I know, this isn't proof of anything, but still) saying "just over 3h to take these beasts down" 

I was told if I had an issue with a detail charge, that I needed to raise that concern with the police chief. I left him a voicemail, but I'm wondering if I just put a giant target on my back for complaining about this. but at the end of the day, that's an extra almost $600 charged in error here. and that's not at all okay. 

[weltschmerz]

I'm sorry Drama. I lost my mom about 10 years ago. It's hard. She wasn't supposed to die.

She caught c.diff in the hospital while there for a minor procedure.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2022 12:34:41 GMT -5 busymom said:

@pinkcshmere , you need to write a book.  I feel badly because you shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this drama.  Make sure DHS knows about crazy girlfriend.  

I couldn’t make all this crazy shit up if I tried. As much crap as I do tell y’all there’s always a lot I don’t even talk about, like what’s been going on with this NUT.

My Mom didn’t want to call DD and tell her, because she knew DD was going to be upset, so she called me instead and I went and told DD myself, and gave her the lady’s name and number that she left with my Mom.

When it first started the baby’s father went to give DD some diapers for the baby. The NUT obviously followed him over there with someone else driving, and jumped out of the passenger seat of the car, trying to fight him in the front yard. She didn’t try to fight DD, but DD was still pissed that the girl came to her home, trying to fight him. He ended up throwing her in his truck and pulling off to get her away from the house.

After that, she started stalking and harassing DD. She went through DD’s friends list on FB and sent them crazy messages about DD, so people DD hadn’t seen or talked to since high school were contacting her asking wth and sending her screenshots of the girl’s messages. DD blocked her, but she keeps making fake pages to send DD crazy or threatening messages. She really seems like she’s unstable. 

One of the warrants she has is for aggravated assault. Idk why she’s still running around free, instead of in jail.

When I was talking to DD today, she said the baby’s father has been texting her for about a week, telling her he has something to tell her, but he wants to tell her in person. DD keeps telling him to leave her tf alone, because he tries to use the baby to have access to DD about stuff that has nothing to do with the baby. But now I wonder if he knew what the girl had done and was trying to tell DD. There’s no telling, he may have just been trying to play his usual games.

Just a big, stupid mess.

Idk who else it could’ve been. The baby isn’t around anybody else regularly but my Mom and if my Mom saw something alarming, she would’ve told me, not just jumped up and called DHS. The lady this morning asked my Mom if she’s ever seen marks or bruises on the baby’s neck and arms. My Mom is her own kind of special, but I have zero doubt she would’ve told me if she’d seen something like that. The baby doesn’t even go to daycare. DD doesn’t hang out with friends or whatever, and she doesn’t have company. She pretty much just keeps to herself.

So the only thing that makes sense is the NUT finally came up with something to try to hurt DD with, because even though DD does get angry and upset, she hasn’t engaged with all the other stuff she’s said and done to try to hurt or provoke DD. DD just keeps blocking all the fake pages and not responding to the messages and FB nonsense.

Anyway, DD called the lady, but she said she was about to step into a meeting and asked if she could call DD back afterward.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2022 13:26:24 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

so I finally called to find out why the PD detail price came back so high, and found out that they billed for a full 8h day. um no, I don't think so. 4h minimum at $282 per officer. I'm glad I took pics that morning of the progress, b/c I've got some timestamped pics that show when they definitely were NOT here that back up a FB post (I know, this isn't proof of anything, but still) saying "just over 3h to take these beasts down" 

I was told if I had an issue with a detail charge, that I needed to raise that concern with the police chief. I left him a voicemail, but I'm wondering if I just put a giant target on my back for complaining about this. but at the end of the day, that's an extra almost $600 charged in error here. and that's not at all okay. 

That's definitely not okay.  Even if they bill from the time they leave the duty station until time of return to station, it won't come to more than 4 hours.  

[Deleted]

@pinkcshmere I think most youth social service workers are pretty sharp at sniffing out false accusations because it's a frequent thing with ex's and new relationships. And they don't like some fool trying to use them for their sick games.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 3, 2022 15:04:18 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

@pinkcshmere I think most youth social service workers are pretty sharp at sniffing out false accusations because it's a frequent thing with ex's and new relationships. And they don't like some fool trying to use them for their sick games.

I know it’s not real, but there is nothing that makes Judge Judy as fiercely angry as one parent who tries to use CPS as a battering ram against another for retaliation.  If she thinks you are doing it, you are screwed.  

[susana1954]

I am so sorry, Drama!

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2022 22:53:35 GMT -5 CCL said:

Aug 2, 2022 21:08:29 GMT -5 azucena said:

I kinda agree with you that it's kind of Pink's phase of life exacerbated by covid. Kinda like when we were in our 20s and everyone was getting married. Then, soon after it was babies everywhere particularly noticeable when I was ready to get pregnant myself, it's amazing how many babies I'd run across daily, weekly.

I'm 43 and starting to hit noticeably increased cancer diagnoses and relatives like my aunts, uncles, and mom are noticeably aging.

I can see bumping into more deaths in my next decade.

So maybe the antidote is to consciously surround yourself with a younger crowd. Making more time for your grandkids comes to mind to fill your cup. Know anyone with a baby to borrow for an afternoon? I find myself smiling at babies in restaurants lately and thinking an afternoon of sniffing a sweet baby's head sounds delightful.

Yes 50s was when we really started to notice people around us were dying. Hubby and I are both the younger kids in our families, so siblings are 10-15 years older than we are.

I have our grandbabies 2 days a week, they are lots of fun, but wear us out by the end of the day. I loved when they were little and would sleep in my arms for hours. Now they run around and I get to chase them lol.

I thought about these posts last night and realized that out of the deaths that have been bothering me, less than half of them were people in my personal life, the majority were from my work life.

I guess when you work in a building with hundreds of people and get to know a lot of them over the decades, you’re going to know a lot of people that die, vs if you work in a small office or something. I’ve had coworkers die since my early days at my job, but over the last couple of years, it’s just been back to back. Every few weeks, or sometimes, every other week, somebody died. And it got to be a bit much when you can’t deal with one death before you get news of another. It’s rough getting to work and finding out somebody you were just chatting with the day before or a few days before, had died. And it’s happened over and over and over since 2020.

I also agree that COVID just made it even worse, because it was the cause of several of the deaths. All 3 of my friends that lost their Mothers, was due to COVID. So were several of my coworkers. But there were also 2 fatal car wrecks, some cancer, an asthma attack, and just not waking up after going to sleep. And several were people around my age, some even younger than me.

It’s just been a lot. I am so very grateful that so far, it hasn’t been any of my close family members, although Mister’s family has not been so lucky. He lost a first cousin and an Aunt. The first time I met that particular Aunt was at OD’s Sweet Sixteen party and she was being very protective of me because of the drama with the girls’ Mom leading up to the party. I LOVED her for that, and was always happy to see her after that.

The only thing I know to do is to try to keep on keeping on, and keep trying to be the best me I can be.

[lurkyloo]

Drama, I am so very sorry.  Your mom loves you, and your family. She wouldn’t leave you if she had a choice.

[Deleted]

Aug 3, 2022 15:04:18 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

@pinkcshmere I think most youth social service workers are pretty sharp at sniffing out false accusations because it's a frequent thing with ex's and new relationships. And they don't like some fool trying to use them for their sick games.

I sure hope so. Making false accusations is a waste of their time, and disrespectful of the children that really are being abused, that these people could be trying to help instead of dealing with mess.

[flamingo]

I'm so sorry, NomoreDramaQ1015 . I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

[mollyanna58]

I am so sorry, NomoreDramaQ1015

[weltschmerz]

Aug 3, 2022 14:51:19 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Aug 3, 2022 12:34:41 GMT -5 busymom said:

@pinkcshmere , you need to write a book.  I feel badly because you shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this drama.  Make sure DHS knows about crazy girlfriend.  

I couldn’t make all this crazy shit up if I tried. As much crap as I do tell y’all there’s always a lot I don’t even talk about, like what’s been going on with this NUT.

My Mom didn’t want to call DD and tell her, because she knew DD was going to be upset, so she called me instead and I went and told DD myself, and gave her the lady’s name and number that she left with my Mom.

When it first started the baby’s father went to give DD some diapers for the baby. The NUT obviously followed him over there with someone else driving, and jumped out of the passenger seat of the car, trying to fight him in the front yard. She didn’t try to fight DD, but DD was still pissed that the girl came to her home, trying to fight him. He ended up throwing her in his truck and pulling off to get her away from the house.

After that, she started stalking and harassing DD. She went through DD’s friends list on FB and sent them crazy messages about DD, so people DD hadn’t seen or talked to since high school were contacting her asking wth and sending her screenshots of the girl’s messages. DD blocked her, but she keeps making fake pages to send DD crazy or threatening messages. She really seems like she’s unstable. 

One of the warrants she has is for aggravated assault. Idk why she’s still running around free, instead of in jail.

When I was talking to DD today, she said the baby’s father has been texting her for about a week, telling her he has something to tell her, but he wants to tell her in person. DD keeps telling him to leave her tf alone, because he tries to use the baby to have access to DD about stuff that has nothing to do with the baby. But now I wonder if he knew what the girl had done and was trying to tell DD. There’s no telling, he may have just been trying to play his usual games.

Just a big, stupid mess.

Idk who else it could’ve been. The baby isn’t around anybody else regularly but my Mom and if my Mom saw something alarming, she would’ve told me, not just jumped up and called DHS. The lady this morning asked my Mom if she’s ever seen marks or bruises on the baby’s neck and arms. My Mom is her own kind of special, but I have zero doubt she would’ve told me if she’d seen something like that. The baby doesn’t even go to daycare. DD doesn’t hang out with friends or whatever, and she doesn’t have company. She pretty much just keeps to herself.

So the only thing that makes sense is the NUT finally came up with something to try to hurt DD with, because even though DD does get angry and upset, she hasn’t engaged with all the other stuff she’s said and done to try to hurt or provoke DD. DD just keeps blocking all the fake pages and not responding to the messages and FB nonsense.

Anyway, DD called the lady, but she said she was about to step into a meeting and asked if she could call DD back afterward.

Can you tell DD to get a no-contact restrainig order?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I took care of mom's cremation. The restaurant isn't turning a profit and she hadn't gotten around to signing up for life insurance.

I picked out an urn with cardinals on it. I got two smaller plain ones for me and my brother. That way we can do what we wish with our share.

DH and I are coordinating to do a reception at the church. Funeral homes be fucking expensive so that was out.

Not something I think you're ever prepared to do.

[Deleted]

Aug 2, 2022 21:29:55 GMT -5 azucena said:

Pink - I've become introspective on some of my Christian beliefs lately. Happy to listen via IM or text if you'd like to continue pondering aloud. Fwiw, I've typically felt the same about living together but then realized that I really have no problem with my mom (64) and her bf of 3 yrs (70). She was hiding the "sleepovers" from my girls bc she always had strict rules for us growing up and didn't want to be a "bad" influence. I decided I'd rather just explain to them that Grandma got burned in a bad marriage and doesn't want to do that again esp at her age and with LTC costs looming for bf. Not married maybe isn't the ideal situation but it's way too logical in this case.

Working thru your thoughts on this topic is another good counseling topic. Counselors don't try to influence you on these things, more just guide the thoughts and come to healthy resolution for yourself instead of letting it linger unresolved which takes up a lot of brain space and emotion.

My family use to be like that about “shacking”, but mellowed out over the years.

One of my older cousins lived with a man and was worried about what people, including family, thought about them not being married. She’s several years older than me, but that was the second time she had a situation where I told her to stop worrying about what other people thought and do what she felt was right for her and her life. Because whatever she did, SHE was the one that had to live with it. She ended up marrying him, and it only lasted a few years.

So, me and my situation, I feel like a lot of things that are going on in the world today is bigger than us humans. I believe a lot of it is simply good vs evil. The term “spiritual warfare” comes to mind, but I’m not sure that’s the correct term for what I’m thinking. I want to be squarely on the side of “good”, with my life and my soul if all hell breaks loose.

So, about marrying Mister, I don’t really have a good reason not to, other than I said after I got divorced back in the 90’s, that I’d never get married again. I didn’t really have a good reason for declaring that then, my marriage was not horrible, we just weren’t really compatible and I was immature and didn’t even really know myself, let alone what I needed in a spouse (I got married when I was 19yo). I think I told myself that because I wanted to just focus on raising my children and by then, I did know myself well enough to know that men could be a distraction for me. Plus I didn’t want to be like some of my friends, moving men in and out of their homes, thinking each time that he was “the one”. I didn’t want to do that with my children, so saying I was never getting married again meant that I avoided even serious relationships, and I did. I dated men, because I’ve always loved men and wasn’t a man hater or anything, but that was totally separate from my life with my children. I was fine being single, and I was fine believing I would be single for the rest of my life.

That is why Mister was my first serious relationship since my divorce. My children were young adults by the time I met him, but honestly, I started out just playing with him too.

Mister and I have been through a lot and now that things have calmed down from all the constant drama with the girls after we moved together, I’m back to not having any plans to leave. It’s unromantic, but it even makes practical sense to get married. At a certain point in my life, when I had a house and money saved, even though what I’d accomplished paled in comparison to a lot of other people, I didn’t want to put that little bit at risk by getting married. But Mister has more income and money, more to lose than I do, so that’s not a concern with him.

I honestly don’t have a good reason not to do it, other than what I’ve been telling myself for decades, that I would never get married again. So if I’m going to be here anyway, am committed to being his life partner anyway, and I believe it would be pleasing in God’s eyes, why not marry him? I don’t have a good answer to that.

By sharing my thoughts about me and my own life, I am in no way judging anybody that thinks differently or lives differently. I am only speaking on ME and MY life. I can barely figure out my own shit, I mind my business on what other grown folks do with other consenting adults.

[anciana]

Aug 3, 2022 16:11:01 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I took care of mom's cremation. The restaurant isn't turning a profit and she hadn't gotten around to signing up for life insurance.

I picked out an urn with cardinals on it. I got two smaller plain ones for me and my brother. That way we can do what we wish with our share.

DH and I are coordinating to do a reception at the church. Funeral homes be fucking expensive so that was out.

Not something I think you're ever prepared to do.

  

[debthaven]

I am so so sorry for your immense loss Drama. Thinking of you and your family. ❤️

[gs11rmb]

That's the worst possible news NomoreDramaQ1015.  I hope you take comfort in the knowledge that your mother loved you.  From everything you've written about your family dynamics the fact that you all truly love one another has been obvious.