chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 39,476
|
Post by chiver78 on Oct 1, 2024 16:16:42 GMT -5
well, shit's getting real. I've logged out of this site via the work laptop, and I'm currently waiting on the OneDrive upload of the personal folder I have on this thing. it's almost done. I'm going to ask the tech doing the review if he can prioritize the review of my budget spreadsheet and send that separately first. after that, I just need to hope that they delete everything I'm uploading. bc it's tax returns and shit. oy
|
|
soupandstew
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 11, 2023 17:15:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,353
|
Post by soupandstew on Oct 1, 2024 17:28:04 GMT -5
The movie was awesome! We saw previews for Gladiator II which looks promising and Red One which involves a hunt for Santa Claus after he's kidnapped looks like a fun holiday movie too.
|
|
Pink Cashmere
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
Posts: 5,282
|
Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 1, 2024 17:43:02 GMT -5
I am stressed right now because between my Mom living in my house and my children using that house as their address regardless of where they actually live, I am caught up in some bullshit that has nothing to do with me besides me owing the property. So I have been yelling and fussing and cussing again, making it clear that I’m not gonna lie for ANYBODY and get myself jammed up for somebody else’s shit.
It’s nothing like drugs being sold out of the house or anything like that, it’s just an agency seeing that the utility bill is in my name and knowing that I am the property owner, so they want me to sign and have some papers notarized saying that the people that live there/use that address, live with me in that house full time, year ‘round. That is not true. I will sign and have notarized, the truth, but not what is in those papers.
I am upset and angry because I already have more than enough of my own problems, I don’t want to get dragged into some shit that has nothing to do with me, just because I own a house that my Mom and children use in whatever way benefits them.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point recently, I just checked out on my whole life. I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to talk to anybody, I don’t want to even think about anything pertaining to my life, and definitely don’t want to try to figure anything out as far as what’s next for me. I go through the motions as much as I can, but *me* is sleep or something, MIA.
I “disappeared” and was just a shell of myself, where I just looked like me, but there was nothing inside of me, once before, during what I still say were the worst years of my life. Once I was finally able to put myself back together after all of that, I’ve never disappeared like that, until now.
I just really do not know what to do about so many things in my life, and that is making me a crazy person. I don’t know what to do about my house, because after I decided to make it be my forever house instead of my “starter” house, it became part of my retirement plans, whether I lived in it or made it a rental property.
I really feel like I need to move out of the house I currently live in, to have a chance at living my best life again, but the local housing market has gotten so crazy that I can’t afford to move to somewhere I would be halfway comfortable living, even if I sell my house and use the proceeds to buy another house.
Really, I am just mad as a MF, about a lot of stuff. A lot of my problems, I did it to myself, trying to be kind and treat people the way I’d want them to treat me.
But all I really did was make myself have a lot of problems.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2024 18:09:28 GMT -5
It's call burn out Pink and that goes beyond depression and anxiety.
I don't have much advice just wanted you to know there is nothing wrong with you.
How you feel is 100% normal after all that has happened. It's a biological response to constant stress.
I'm dead inside without my antidepressant. I can't just turn off the burn out.
It will take time and the removal of things causing my stress so I can close the loop.
Grandma being taken off my plate is huge. Now I can process rather than just react.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2024 18:11:59 GMT -5
I think I might try aqua zumba. It looked fun.
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 29,221
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Oct 1, 2024 18:39:46 GMT -5
Well, problems are already being reported here with the independent company doing lab work for the health care system in our community. Not everyone is getting their results in a timely manner, especially if you live out "in the sticks", not even if you have a serious health issue. I wonder how long this particular health care system is going to stay in business with such poor results with the lab?
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 29,221
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Oct 1, 2024 18:44:23 GMT -5
Pink Cashmere, is your mother able to live independently, or is it time for her to move to something like a subsidized senior apartment? If you can find her a good place to live, I would literally "clean house", and maybe move back to your own place for a spell just to get some breathing room from Mister & his family drama, and that could give you time to figure out what you really want in life. (For the record, I don't do well either when everything around me is chaotic. Shame on the family members who are making life difficult.)
|
|
soupandstew
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 11, 2023 17:15:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,353
|
Post by soupandstew on Oct 1, 2024 18:52:23 GMT -5
Pink Cashmere I wish I had something of value to offer you, but I have nothing except respect for your ethic and the boundaries you set. And When The Eff did these people get off asking/expecting you to lie for them, even if they are blood kin? I know you love your mother and your kids and your grands but you deserve better from them. You deserve to be full inside of the powerful you we know here.
|
|
Pink Cashmere
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 24, 2022 16:18:40 GMT -5
Posts: 5,282
|
Post by Pink Cashmere on Oct 1, 2024 18:54:30 GMT -5
So just now I was getting something out of a nonstick backing pan that Muster bought a couple months ago. And he felt the need to question me about whether I used something that wouldn’t scratch the pan.
That pissed me off and I said yeah, I made sure not to use something that wouldn’t damage the pan, because I try to take care of my stuff, but how are you gonna come to me like that when you and your children have destroyed or gotten rid of so much of the stuff that I brought here and bought after we moved here.
Of course that didn’t go over well, and he didn’t want to talk about that, he kept saying he was just asking a question about the pan.
I keep trying not to get upset or angry, but that really pissed me off. Because the facts are that even the furniture I brought here from my previous home, most of it has been torn up or destroyed to the point that there are just a few items that I would take with me if/when I move. I don’t want to bore you all with the details, so imma just ask you all to believe me when I say that the only furniture I brought here that has not been damaged are the chair in my wanna be yoga room, the chair in our bedroom, and the chairs in the breakfast nook. The table in the breakfast nook also came from my house, but already had some cosmetic damage and sustained more after I moved here.
The sofa I brought from my den has been destroyed, even if I didn’t mind the dirt and smell from the dogs laying on it to cuddle with him, their nails have shredded one of the cushions, and that cushion just got flipped over.
I could go on and on about a lot of stuff, but none of it really matters in the grand scheme of things, because I have learned what I’m dealing with, and it’s on me to do what’s in my control to get myself out of it. It’s just that my feathers got ruffled when he called himself confronting me about a pan after all the losses I’ve taken with him and his children tearing my shit up and getting rid of it.
Imma pray about it. I know some of you don’t believe in prayer, but that is all I have right now to seek guidance to try to get myself out of all of this shit that has become my life these days.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2024 19:10:37 GMT -5
Do you want us to come up there and shove the pan somewhere Mister will be in need of surgery to remove?
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 29,221
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Oct 1, 2024 19:13:17 GMT -5
Do you want us to come up there and shove the pan somewhere Mister will be in need of surgery to remove? LOL! Why did the song just pop into my head, "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone"?
|
|
|
Post by minnesotapaintlady on Oct 1, 2024 20:00:36 GMT -5
Gus was a shithead and his feet were too dry to do much with, so now I have to work on softening them up and get him back in a month or so...so that was a wasted $60 today.
|
|
soupandstew
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 11, 2023 17:15:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,353
|
Post by soupandstew on Oct 1, 2024 20:16:02 GMT -5
Gus was a shithead and his feet were too dry to do much with, so now I have to work on softening them up and get him back in a month or so...so that was a wasted $60 today. Short of creating a mud pit and tying him up to force him to stand in it, what are the options?
|
|
daisylu
Junior Associate
Enter your message here...
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 6:04:42 GMT -5
Posts: 7,443
Member is Online
|
Post by daisylu on Oct 1, 2024 20:21:36 GMT -5
|
|
lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 6,049
|
Post by lurkyloo on Oct 1, 2024 20:22:30 GMT -5
Home for a few hours between hospital visits. I've eaten two pieces of carrot cake. It was a small cake, so they were small pieces. But still, two of 'em! I made a Mostly Apples Apple Cake from the King Arthur website. There is hardly any batter, just enough to hold it all together. I've eaten half the cake. It’s fruit. You’re being healthy
|
|
|
Post by minnesotapaintlady on Oct 1, 2024 20:25:04 GMT -5
Gus was a shithead and his feet were too dry to do much with, so now I have to work on softening them up and get him back in a month or so...so that was a wasted $60 today. Short of creating a mud pit and tying him up to force him to stand in it, what are the options? There are hoof dressings that can be applied, but the mud pit is the best method. I flooded his pen and to eat his hay or get water he'll have to stand in mud. It is so dry out that I'll have to run the hose out there for couple hours every day.
|
|
msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,036
|
Post by msventoux on Oct 1, 2024 20:35:48 GMT -5
Home for a few hours between hospital visits. I've eaten two pieces of carrot cake. It was a small cake, so they were small pieces. But still, two of 'em! I made a Mostly Apples Apple Cake from the King Arthur website. There is hardly any batter, just enough to hold it all together. I've eaten half the cake. Thanks for mentioning this. I’ve been on an apple kick recently and have been having a modified Waldorf salad several times a week for weeks. I may have to bring this cake into the rotation, it looks good!
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,315
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 1, 2024 20:37:36 GMT -5
So just now I was getting something out of a nonstick backing pan that Muster bought a couple months ago. And he felt the need to question me about whether I used something that wouldn’t scratch the pan. That pissed me off and I said yeah, I made sure not to use something that wouldn’t damage the pan, because I try to take care of my stuff, but how are you gonna come to me like that when you and your children have destroyed or gotten rid of so much of the stuff that I brought here and bought after we moved here. Of course that didn’t go over well, and he didn’t want to talk about that, he kept saying he was just asking a question about the pan. I keep trying not to get upset or angry, but that really pissed me off. Because the facts are that even the furniture I brought here from my previous home, most of it has been torn up or destroyed to the point that there are just a few items that I would take with me if/when I move. I don’t want to bore you all with the details, so imma just ask you all to believe me when I say that the only furniture I brought here that has not been damaged are the chair in my wanna be yoga room, the chair in our bedroom, and the chairs in the breakfast nook. The table in the breakfast nook also came from my house, but already had some cosmetic damage and sustained more after I moved here. The sofa I brought from my den has been destroyed, even if I didn’t mind the dirt and smell from the dogs laying on it to cuddle with him, their nails have shredded one of the cushions, and that cushion just got flipped over. I could go on and on about a lot of stuff, but none of it really matters in the grand scheme of things, because I have learned what I’m dealing with, and it’s on me to do what’s in my control to get myself out of it. It’s just that my feathers got ruffled when he called himself confronting me about a pan after all the losses I’ve taken with him and his children tearing my shit up and getting rid of it. Imma pray about it. I know some of you don’t believe in prayer, but that is all I have right now to seek guidance to try to get myself out of all of this shit that has become my life these days. Please make a weekend in KC a priority in 2025. We'll make it a boardie girl's weekend and I'll have plenty of room for people to stay. It's pretty nice here in the fall. We can sit on the deck with libations and gossip while the twins run around outside. Hell, if you want we'll have a huge Mexican party that you'll love.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,880
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Oct 1, 2024 20:52:56 GMT -5
Thank you andi and chiver for links. Poor dog had no skin problems when he was getting to all the fresh chicken eggs before mom's husband could collect them. He swore the chickens quit laying. No, the dog was having fresh eggs shells and all for breakfast daily.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,315
|
Post by andi9899 on Oct 1, 2024 21:10:48 GMT -5
Watching the debate with Jackson sprawled across my lap. He's such a sweet boy. Did I threaten to beat him earlier today when he got in the trash? Yes. Have I now forgotten about that and love him again? Also yes.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,933
|
Post by taz157 on Oct 1, 2024 22:41:23 GMT -5
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,993
|
Post by finnime on Oct 2, 2024 3:43:50 GMT -5
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,993
|
Post by finnime on Oct 2, 2024 4:05:19 GMT -5
Good morning, hard working and ethical invisipeeps, contending with the world of Other People. Welcome to Wednesday. I hope your day provides you light and joy and that you are able to fully feel both. I hope you don't slip and fall on any shit. Today we will do The Costco run prelude to the birthday bash. I have a little bit more clearing to do in the guest room, then it will be ready for prime time. Just heard from DSis's younger DS, and he and his family are coming, too. That will make 15 or 16 including children, depending on whether ODB's DS comes. Whee! I think I'll have the kids go to the revolutionary war fort on the water here to climb on the rocks and the cannons. That will get their ya-ya's out. It's going to be a good day, I think. Now I need to clean up the living room and tomorrow wipe all the surfaces in the house down. Will have to get some things for everyone to drink, and paper cups since we're avoiding plastics especially for the children. Yesterday was a pretty good day except for the start. I was about to go down to the beach with Franklin the Dog when the car refused to start. By the way it was barely turning on flickering lights I could tell it was the battery. So we went for a walk around the park and by the wharf and marina down the street. I called AAA who jump started it. The Prius's have a small 12V starter battery to go with the enormous battery that powers the car. The little battery is what failed. Now I'll have to look into getting a new one. Could be worse, much worse. I took this shot at the marina just down the street:
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Oct 2, 2024 4:42:31 GMT -5
Beautiful pictures as always, fininme
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Oct 2, 2024 4:47:07 GMT -5
I'm up early. Wish me luck. I have to work from the far away office with supervisor today. Work has suddenly exploded and I have assignment to underwrite 3 loans. I have always worked as a portfolio person. I only underwrite 1 loan so far in new job. I feel overwhelmed.
Besides that, I'm going to a Tops group today after work. Tops is a non profit that organizes support groups to lose weight. Fear of the unknown, meeting new people, facing my challenges with food, etc.
Wish me a good day.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Oct 2, 2024 4:48:20 GMT -5
And tomorrow I'm returning to the pool. Since mom left, I got a cold and working from home for a few weeks I haven't been back. I need the exercise.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Oct 2, 2024 4:54:38 GMT -5
I could use some advice. Yesterday I talked to mom on the phone. She started with the questions. What are you eating? Have you selected a new doctor? Do you have a doctor's appointment?
I feel she infantilizes me. Treats like I'm 2 years old and somehow I have to give her all the information about my health, my eating habits, etc. I'm 52 years old.
My relationship with her has deteriorated a lot since she lost my beloved pet just because she's careless. I've been very resentful towards her since then.
The constant questions and meddling makes me feel a blind rage.
How can I politely let her know I will not give her a full report of what I eat or what doctors I'm seeing?
Any ideas?
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 2, 2024 5:02:21 GMT -5
I could use some advice. Yesterday I talked to mom on the phone. She started with the questions. What are you eating? Have you selected a new doctor? Do you have a doctor's appointment? I feel she infantilizes me. Treats like I'm 2 years old and somehow I have to give her all the information about my health, my eating habits, etc. I'm 52 years old. My relationship with her has deteriorated a lot since she lost my beloved pet just because she's careless. I've been very resentful towards her since then. The constant questions and meddling makes me feel a blind rage. How can I politely let her know I will not give her a full report of what I eat or what doctors I'm seeing? Any ideas? I have that covered, mom. Lather, rinse, repeat and change subject. Don’t give her specifics. Don’t talk about your diet or health, that just opens the door. This is how I’ve managed to live with my sister under my roof. There are certain things NOT on the table for discussion. If the topic goes there, both TD and I check out. I can’t remember the last time it happened.
|
|
ners
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 16:21:18 GMT -5
Posts: 6,602
|
Post by ners on Oct 2, 2024 5:55:24 GMT -5
Hugs Pink Cashmere. Another night of tossing and turning. Need a productive day at work. Bring on the coffee.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,138
|
Post by giramomma on Oct 2, 2024 7:22:40 GMT -5
I could use some advice. Yesterday I talked to mom on the phone. She started with the questions. What are you eating? Have you selected a new doctor? Do you have a doctor's appointment? I feel she infantilizes me. Treats like I'm 2 years old and somehow I have to give her all the information about my health, my eating habits, etc. I'm 52 years old. My relationship with her has deteriorated a lot since she lost my beloved pet just because she's careless. I've been very resentful towards her since then. The constant questions and meddling makes me feel a blind rage. How can I politely let her know I will not give her a full report of what I eat or what doctors I'm seeing? Any ideas? Well, it depends. If you say, that's not up for discussion, will your mom actually stop or will she continue. Or, will she pick a fight. When I was getting treated for cancer, my mom was insistent that she know some of my medical numbers. I was like. They're fine. Every single conversation we had while I had chemo was her complaining that I didn't give her my medical information that she thought she was owed. I just went silent until she changed the subject (which, although unhealthy, is a way to deal with conflict). If you say, "I'm not talking about this with you." And your mom keeps pushing then its "I'm not talking about this with you and if you continue, I will hang up." For my mom it was simply "Oh, I don't think this is a good time to talk." and I just hung up.
|
|